Lost Dreams
by kbymyside
Summary: What happens when Kate and Rick meet in front of their children's school? AU
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Author's Note: I started this story a few months ago and originally planned not to upload it, but then I thought maybe there are people a few people out there that might actually enjoy it, so here I am, uploading it. If you happen to find any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes, please point them out to me. Thank you! **

**Chapter 1**

"Daddy!"

Richard Castle barely caught his balance as his redheaded whirlwind of a daughter flung herself at him.

"Hey there, Pumpkin," he chuckled, hugging her to him. "How was school?"

"We learned all about the night sky today. It was so fascinating!", the little girl told him with bright blue eyes. "And I made a new friend. He is only in first grade and really, really shy. I met him at recess," she continued without taking a breath. "He was all by himself and looked so sad, so I went to talk to him and it turns out, he is really funny once you get him to talk to you. Do you want to meet him? His mom hasn't picked him up yet. Come on!" Without waiting for a reply, the 8-year old impatiently grabbed her father's hand and pulled him back through the school entrance towards the sturdy brick building.

Castle let himself be dragged along and laughed quietly at his daughter's behavior. At moments like these he saw a lot of himself in her.

He let her pull him to the corner of the school building, towards a dark-haired boy, who sat on the ground, looking thoroughly forlorn.

"Hi Louis, this is my dad," Alexis started the introductions. "Daddy, this is Louis, my new friend," and on a whisper she reminded him, "He is really shy".

Castle squatted down to be at eye level with the boy. "Hi Louis, I'm Rick."

When the boy looked at him, Castle was met with two large, chocolate brown eyes and a small, hesitant smile.

Not knowing how to react to the boy's silence, Castle tried to coax him out of his shell. "I heard you just started school this fall. How do you like it so far?"

"It's alright," the boy stated vaguely, picking at something on the ground.

"Are you learning lots of cool stuff?" Castle tried again.

"I guess."

"He told me, he already knows how to read. And he's only in first grade!" Alexis told her dad, proud of her new friend.

"You knew how to read before you first went to school," Castle reminded her. "In fact, you were only five years old."

"Yeah, but you are a writer, daddy, I'm supposed to know how to read and write before I start school." Alexis gave him her 'silly you look' and Castle playfully struck his tongue out at her, making her giggle.

"So, what does your mother do for a living, Louis?" Castle wanted to know, still trying to get a conversation started with the boy.

But before Louis got round to answering his question, Castle caught sight of a woman in a grey pantsuit and shoulder-length curls walking toward them hurriedly, car keys jingling in her hand.

"Louis, baby, I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry I'm late!", she called, almost jogging now - in incredibly high heels as Castle noted with an arched eyebrow.

At the sound of woman's voice, Louis quickly scrambled to his feet and met her halfway. He threw his arms around her middle, pushing the front of her blazer out of the way, giving Castle an undisturbed look at the police badge, that was clipped to her belt.

"Your mom is a cop?!" he asked, childlike amazement written all over his face.

"And you are?" the woman replied, looking him suspiciously up and down while hugging her son protectively into her side.

"I-I'm Richard Castle, my daughter Alexis is friends with your son," Castle explained and pointed at the little redhead, who had decided it was her turn to be shy now. She hid halfway behind her father and gave the tall brunette in front of her a quick wave.

The woman seemed relieved by that and gave the Castle's a warm smile. "I'm glad to hear that. I'm Kate by the way."

Castle shook her extended hand, but before he could start a conversation, Kate looked down at her watch and then gave him an apologizing look. "It was nice meeting you, but we really need to get going." With that, Kate took Louis' hand and quickly led him out of the schoolyard.

Castle mirrored her actions and slowly began the walk home with his daughter by his side.

"She was so pretty!" Alexis exclaimed after a couple of minutes of walking in silence, astonishment sparkling in her bright blue eyes as she looked up at her father.

"She was," Castle agreed. "We should invite them over for a play date sometime soon."

"Are you saying that because you want me to have someone to play with or because she is a cop and you want to ask her all kinds of weird questions for your next book?" Alexis narrowed her eyes at him in suspicion before grinning widely. She knew her father just a little too well.

"What makes you think that? I'd never!" Castle replied with mock hurt, grasping at his chest in an overly dramatic gesture that his mother, a broadway actress, would have been proud of.

"You totally scared away Lizzie's mom with your questions about undetectable poisons. Lizzie isn't even allowed to sit next to me anymore in class!"

"You know I'm sorry about that. I just didn't know anyone else who has a major in chemistry and would know that kind of stuff," Castle explained, a little frustrated. He really hadn't thought that an innocent question like that would get him into so much trouble. For weeks, all the parents from his daughter's school had avoided him like the plague and warned their children about playing with Alexis.

"Just don't scare Louis' mom away," Alexis huffed. "Louis is really nice."

"Hey, I'm the cool dad, remember?" he grinned at her, winking playfully but Alexis simply giggled and he didn't know whether to take that as confirmation or not. But he was the cool dad, really!

XXX

At the same time, Kate slipped behind the steering wheel of her Crown Victoria and took a few calming breaths. She just met Richard Castle, her favorite author of all times! At her son's school of all places! She took a quick glance in the rearview mirror and groaned inwardly when she saw the bags under her eyes and her disheveled hair.

Not only had she not known what to say to him and fled from the school like an idiot, she also looked like she hadn't slept properly in days - which, unfortunately, was true.

No matter how tired or exhausted she was, she simply had a hard time falling asleep at night. The guilt ate her up alive. The guilt she always felt when she wasn't home in time for dinner, when she wasn't home to put her son to bed, when she was late again picking him up from school because, much like today, she lost track of time trying to figure out the puzzle on the murder board in front of her.

Being a single mom to a 6-year old and a Detective with the NYPD was harder than she had ever imagined it being.

Sighing, she started the car and pulled away from the curb. She needed to drop her son off at home, where his nanny was waiting, before going back to work.

"So, tell me about Alexis," she asked. "Did the two of you play together?"

"We just talked," Louis told her, looking out of the window. Kate was glad to hear that. She knew how shy Louis was, especially around strangers, and how hard it was for him to open up and engage with other children his age.

"What did you talk about?"

"Mostly school. She is in third grade and knows all about the night sky. She told me about constellations that are shaped like animals. Is that true, mommy? Do they exist?"

"I don't know, but we could go to the planetarium this weekend and take a look at all the constellations and find out. Would you like that?"

Louis gave her one of his rare smiles and nodded shyly.

"Alright then," she smiled back at him. "It's settled. We're going to the planetarium on Saturday."


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. **

**Chapter 2**

The following Saturday Richard Castle was woken up by his overly-excited daughter jumping on his bed.

"Wake up, daddy, wake up!" she called, arms stretched out to the sides to help balance herself on the bouncy bed.

"Time 's it?" Castle answered sleepily and lifted his face from the pillow, squinting at his daughter in the early morning light that filtered through his window.

"It's already past 8!" Alexis dropped onto her knees next to him, jostling him.

"What do you mean 'already'? It's _only_ past 8 and way too early to get up," he grumbled and dropped his head back onto the pillow.

Alexis started shaking his shoulder. "Don't fall asleep again! You need to make breakfast. Quick! So we can leave!" When that didn't work, she sat down on her father's back and started tickling his sides.

"Not fair!" Castle whined and tried to wiggle free of his daughter's hold without either of them falling out of the bed.

"If I stop, will you get up and make breakfast?" Alexis tried to negotiate, wriggling her fingers to demonstrate she'd start tickling him again if he wouldn't.

"Fine," Castle surrendered.

Alexis quickly jumped off the bed and pulled the blanket out of her father's reach, making him protest loudly.

"Just making sure", she grinned cheekily before sauntering off to the kitchen, leaving a freezing and moody Castle behind in his bed.

He followed her shortly after, rubbing the sleep from his eyes while trying to tame his hair, which was sticking up in every direction.

"How do waffles and orange juice sound?" he suggested as he found Alexis perched at the kitchen counter with an expectant look on her face.

"They take too long to make. Can't we just have some cereal?"

"You are no fun at all," Castle grumbled and shook his head at his daughter who had already grabbed the milk from the fridge.

20 minutes later, Alexis stood by the front door, dressed in a pair of jeans and a grey print sweater, impatiently tapping her little foot.

"Daddy, what's taking you so long?" she called.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" he called back, a little annoyed now.

Together they rode the lift to the lobby, greeted the doorman and hailed a cab.

"I can't wait to tell you about all the planets in our universe," Alexis told him, as they entered the planetarium.

Together they made their way through the various show rooms, stopping dead in their tracks every couple of minutes in wonder of what is displayed in front of them.

Every now and then Alexis pointed to something she recognized from school and Castle told her as much as he knew about the various constellations, planets and stars. He was amazed at how much his eight-year-old daughter had picked up in class, and in the end, she had probably taught him more than he had her.

After a couple of hours, they slowly made their way to the exit.

"Are you hungry, Alexis?" Castle asked, always hoping for a chance to eat out in one of New York's many restaurants and diners.

"A little," the girl admitted.

"Good, because I know a place where we could go. They make great sandwiches," he told her, just when something caught his eye and he stopped walking.

"What is it?" Alexis asked, when he suddenly disappeared from her side.

"Do you see that woman right there? Isn't that Kate, Louis' mom?" Castle pointed discreetly to the other side of the room where a woman in a dark blue sweater and a thick head of shoulder-length curls stood with her back to them. Castle would recognize those caramel-colored curls with a hint of gold and brown anywhere, he was a writer, he was supposed to notice and remember the details.

"It is! Let's go say hi!" Before Castle could reply, Alexis grabbed his hand and pulled him over to where the tall brunette was standing, holding her son's hand.

XXX

Kate was currently reading one of the info texts, when her son suddenly released her hand and turned around. When she turned her head to figure out what had caught his attention, she practically had to force air down her lungs at the sight of Richard Castle being pulled towards them by his energetic daughter.

She glanced down at her jeans and simple v-neck sweater and self-consciously ran a hand through her curls in a feeble attempt to tame them.

"Hi Louis!" Alexis said with a large grin when she finally reached them.

"Hi Alexis", Louis smiled shyly.

"What a surprise to see you here", Castle said with a smile, directing his gaze at Kate.

"Louis wanted to know more about stars and planets, after Alexis told him what she had learned in class," Kate responded with a small smile of her own.

"That's kind of, why we are here, too," Castle laughed. "She hasn't stopped talking about it ever since she learned about it in school. She's been bugging me to take her here for days now."

"And this place is so cool!" Alexis exclaimed.

"We like it too, don't we, Louis?" Kate tried to engage her son into their conversation. But the shy boy simply nodded.

"It is pretty amazing," Castle agreed. "But actually, we were just on our way to get lunch. You wouldn't like to join us, would you?", he asked kindly, a faint glimmer of hope crossing his features.

"Uh ... I- I don't -," Kate was left a little dumbfounded by his offer and didn't know what to say.

"Please, please, please!" Alexis had literally folded her hands together in front of her and was jumping up and down, looking at both, Kate and Louis with large, blue eyes and Kate found it hard to resist those sparkling blue eyes.

"We could go to that burger place with the huge playground," Alexis continued, and looking at Louis, she added, "They have this really long slide, you will love it!" Turning to her dad, she pleaded once more, "Can we please go, daddy?"

"That's really up to Kate and Louis, Pumpkin." Kate saw the somewhat stern look Castle gave his daughter and Alexis immediately tempered her excitement down a little and stopped bouncing up and down.

Kate looked at the little girl with the hopeful expression on her face and at her father, who softly smiled at her. Looking down at her son, she saw his wishful expression and who was she to deny him a play date with such a cheerful little girl? Thinking back, she couldn't remember his last play date anyway. He had never had many of them, or friends in general, due to his introverted personality.

"Feel like having burgers for lunch?", she asked him and nudged his shoulder playfully.

"Can I have a cheeseburger?" Louis asked back.

"They have the best cheeseburgers! Daddy always has one," Alexis told them, her hands still folded together.

"Let's go then." Kate grabbed Louis' hand and started walking towards the entrance while Alexis did a small victory dance.

"If you keep jumping up and down like that, there's no desert for you, young lady," Castle made another attempt to get his daughter to calm down a little. Shooting Kate an apologizing look, he added, "She usually isn't this energetic, I have no idea what has gotten into her today."

"I don't mind. It's kind of fun to watch," she reassured him with a quick smile.

As they made their way to the 'cool burger place with the playground', Kate couldn't help thinking how surreal this day was. She was having lunch with Richard Castle and his daughter! She just hoped she wouldn't make a total fool of herself. Unconsciously, she gripped Louis' hand a little tighter. When he turned his head towards her and gave her a beaming smile, she knew this was the right thing to do. She was glad her son had met the joyful, little girl, and in secret, she hoped the redhead could coax him out of his shell.

They chose a booth in the back of the diner and the adults sat opposite each other. After placing their orders, Alexis was already on her way out of the booth but Castle grabbed her by the back of her sweater and pulled her back.

"Alexis, the food will be here any moment. Can't you wait another couple of minutes?"

"Fine," the little girl huffed and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "But after lunch I'm going to the playground, there's no holding me back." Determination was written all over her face and Kate let out a little laugh. Alexis was simply adorable, even more so when she had her mind set on something. Castle shot her a questioning glance but she just mouthed 'later' at him.

The burgers arrived and everyone dug in. After his first bite, Louis grinned at Castle, who mumbled a "good, huh?" around a mouthful of his burger.

"We don't speak with our mouths full, daddy!" Alexis scolded him and Kate took a quick sip of her ice tea to hide her grin. The two of them really were quite comical and she knew exactly who wore the breeches in the Castle household.

When everyone had finally finished eating, Alexis jumped out of the booth with a "see you later daddy", followed by a "hurry, Louis!" and off they were. Alexis practically sprinted to the playground, which could easily be seen from the booth where Kate and Castle remained seated, and Louis followed in a slow jog.

Castle watched the two of them and shook his head, laughing softly. "How did you get him to be so calm and well-mannered? Alexis is such a whirlwind, especially when she is excited about something. She's just untamable."

"I like it. It's delightful to watch. Refreshing even, to see that much unbridled joy and happiness." And with a slightly wistful glance at Louis, who was currently on the slide, she added, "I sometimes wish, he was a little more open."

"He really is quite shy, isn't he?"

When Kate nodded, Castle continued, "I'm sure he'll get there. When Alexis was little, she was the shyest girl ever. It took her incredibly long to warm up to someone. In the beginning she would even refuse to stay with her grandmother for a couple of hours, even though she has been a part of her life from the very beginning."

"Alexis is doing a really good job of getting him to open up a little, though, just look at that." With a soft smile Kate pointed over to the playground where Alexis was currently on the monkey bars, with Louis cheering her on and clapping loudly.

They continued making small talk until Alexis returned to their booth to take a quick sip of her orange juice, looking utterly spent.

"Are you having fun, Alexis?" Kate asked the little girl.

"Yeah, Louis is awesome to play with. Did you see how he mastered the monkey bars and how high he is going on the swings?" Alexis replied, still a little breathless from playing outside. "I can't even do that and I'm two years older!"

"I'm glad you two are getting along so well," Kate told her and got a smile from Alexis in return.

"Are you two getting along, too?" Alexis wanted to know, giving Castle a suspicious look. "He isn't asking you any weird questions, is he?" she worried and looked at Kate.

"Alexis! I promised I wouldn't," Castle huffed.

"Just making sure, because you don't always listen to what I say," the little girl replied, crinkling her nose and setting her glass on the table. And with a quick "love you" over her shoulder, she was gone again.

"What was that all about?" Kate laughed.

"You know, I'm a writer, right?"

The way she suddenly couldn't look him in the eye anymore, probably told him everything he needed to know. If she had just confirmed his suspicions that she was a fan, he thankfully didn't dwell on it. Instead, he went on with his explanation.

"Apparently, some people are put off by the _totally_ reasonable questions I ask them for research." He told her the story of Lizzie's mom, the one with the major in chemistry, who had practically fled the room with her daughter after he had wanted to know in detail what kinds of poisons could not be detected in an autopsy.

"And since she knows that I find police work interesting, she was afraid I might scare you off as well," he ended his little story with a sheepish expression.

Kate was laughing, hard. And boy, did it feel good. She couldn't remember the last time she had had this much fun. By now, all the anxiety she had felt before entering the diner was gone. Richard Castle was a very down-to-earth man and was easy to be with. She found it easy to share some stories of her own everyday life with him and he was quick to return the favor, telling her about the redheaded whirlwind.

"Well, if you ever do have a question, you should give me a call." She slid one of her cards across the table. "And you won't scare me off, don't worry," she winked.

"Promise?" Castle asked and actually looked a little unconvinced before pocketing her card.

"Promise," Kate laughed, while mentally, she was slapping herself. Did she really just flirt with him? And told him to call her?! What was wrong with her? First she is being all weird and barely opens her mouth and now she flirts - bluntly flirts - with him?

But before it could get awkward, Alexis and Louis were sauntering back to their table. Alexis slid into the booth and leaned heavily against Castle's side while Louis downed his apple juice, a few strands of his hair sticking to his sweaty forehead.

Kate lazily slid her hand through her son's hair. "Are you two finally tired?"

They both nodded. "I'm even too tired for ice cream," Alexis admitted.

"What about you, Louis, do you want some ice cream?", Castle asked the tired boy, who simply shook his head.

"Kate?"

"No, thank you, I'm good," she replied.

"Unbelievable," Castle huffed. "I'll go take care of the bill then, so we can get the two of you home." He lovingly nudged Alexis' shoulder.

When Kate moved to slide out of the booth, he motioned for her to keep sitting. "My treat," and before Kate could protest, he was gone.

They left the restaurant together and said goodbye a little awkwardly. Louis clung to his mother's hand, Castle had picked up Alexis, who could barely keep her eyes open anymore, and after Kate had expressed her gratitude, neither really knew what to say, so after a quick handshake around the two children, they parted in opposite directions.

Back home, Kate led Louis over to the couch and turned on the TV. Usually, she was very strict about her son watching a lot of TV, but she just needed some time to herself and sort out her thoughts.

Thinking back to their lunch date, she still couldn't quite believe what had happened. She had had lunch with Richard Castle, the man whose books helped her cope with her mother's death. Running a hand over her face she prayed she hadn't said anything too stupid or made a total fool of herself. She also hoped he had had as good a time as she had had because her son had really opened up while playing with Alexis. She would hate to see the friendship of the two children suffer because Richard Castle thought she was a total weirdo.

"Mommy?" she heard Louis call for her from the living room.

"What is it, Tiger?" she asked, as she made her way back into the living room.

"Today was really nice," he told her with a shy smile. "Alexis and Rick are fun."

She sat down on the couch beside him and ruffled his hair. "I'm glad you had a good time. Maybe we could go and watch a movie with them sometime, what do you think?"

"I'd like that," he replied and leaned into her side.

"_Finding Nemo_ was just released, and according to the reviews I read, it's a really funny movie. It's about a little fish who gets separated from his dad and on his journey back home he makes a lot of new friends. Does that sound good?"

"It does! Can we see it?" he asked with an excited sparkle in his eyes.

"Why don't you ask Alexis next time you see her?" Kate suggested gently.

"Do you think she'll say yes?" Worry washed over Louis' features.

Gently rubbing his back, Kate tried to encourage him. "Of course she will, she's your friend and the two of you had such a good time today."

Sighing, the boy hid his face in his mother's side. It was so hard for him to walk up to someone and start a conversation, or worse, ask for something.

"I know it's hard, Tiger, but you know Alexis, she'd never make fun of you. Just give it a try, alright?" she tried to convince him.

She felt him nod into her side and gave him a little squeeze.

"I know you can do it," she said and pressed a kiss to his head. When she glanced at her watch and saw that it was almost time for dinner, she nudged Louis shoulder to get his attention. "What do you want for dinner today?"

"Can we have pasta?" he asked with his most charming smile.

"With spinach?"

At that, the little boy crinkled his nose.

"Fine," Kate gave in. "I'll make a tomato sauce, but with carrot sticks in it."

XXX

At the same time, Castle and Alexis were having a similar discussion at the loft.

"Daddy, we already had burgers today, we can't have tacos! That's too much junk food in one day," the little girl told him sternly.

"But Alexis," her father whined, "Tacos are not junk food."

"Yes, they are," the stubborn redhead replied.

Suddenly, Castle had an idea. "Oh, so you want something healthy? Something really healthy?" Castle asked teasingly and opened the door to the fridge. "Alright, I'm totally in the mood for stuffed eggplants."

"Eww, no dad, not that healthy!" Alexis exclaimed and shuddered visibly. She hated eggplants.

Castle laughed and gave her shoulder a quick squeeze. "I think we have some leftover lasagna. Sound good?"

"Sounds great."

While Castle reheated the lasagna, Alexis set the table.

"Did you have fun today, Pumpkin?" Castle wanted to know halfway through dinner.

"I did. Especially on the playground with Louis. After a couple of minutes he wasn't that shy anymore and he told me some of the things he had learned at the planetarium. Some things I didn't even know."

Castle knew what she was talking about. He had witnessed the transformation through the glass doors of the diner. The first couple of minutes Louis had just watched what Alexis did and had only nodded or shaken his head for an answer, but after a couple of minutes he had tried some of the equipment himself and commented on Alexis' way of making it through the jungle gym. He had caught the two of them chatting and laughing animatedly quite a few times. But Louis' transformation was not the only one he had witnessed today. Throughout the day Kate had opened up to him. He had seen the way she insecurely tried to smooth out her hair and he had also seen the hesitancy in her eyes when he had asked her to join them for lunch. To say he was stunned when she had given him her card was an understatement, he really hadn't seen it coming. But he was glad he had gotten a glimpse of that less guarded and more playful side of her. Smiling, he replayed his memory of her laughing in his brain. He had fallen in love with her laugh the first time he had heard it, and he couldn't help it, but he was utterly fascinated by Kate. Not only because she was pretty, as Alexis had pointed out quite a few times, but also because the few hours he had spent in her company were _real. _She knew who he was, yet she didn't act on it. Didn't throw herself at him or flirt with him shamelessly, as the majority of women he meets on a regular basis do. Instead they had talked about their children, shared funny stories and had had a really great, effortless lunch. He liked it and he wanted more of it.

His daughter's sustained "Daaad?" brought him back to earth.

"Sorry, Pumpkin, what did you say?"

"I said," she gave him a pointed look for not listening, "We should have lunch with them again."

"We should," Castle agreed. "I'll talk to Kate next time I see her. Now, help me clear the table?"

Alexis got up from her chair and started carrying the plates into the kitchen.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Author's Note: Thank you for reading and leaving such kind comments, they make me smile!**

**Chapter 3**

The closer she got to her son's school, the more nervous she got. It was silly, really, and she knew it, but she had had such a good time on Saturday and just hoped that things, for whatever reason, weren't awkward between the two of them.

She parked her Crown Victoria near the school building and as soon as she got out, she saw him. He was standing outside the gate, with his hands in his pockets and a striped scarf wound around his neck to protect him from the cold November breeze.

Her heels must have signaled her arrival because Castle turned towards her and gave her a quick grin.

"Hey Kate."

"Hi Castle," she replied, with a shy smile.

"Remind me to never again be on time to pick up my child, I've been waiting for almost ten minutes and she is nowhere to be seen," he grumbled, easily picking up where they have left two days ago. "She probably can't tear herself away from her friends again. Only last week she was almost fifteen minutes late because she and a friend had started a drawing together and needed to get it finished that day."

Kate was glad he did most of the talking, that way she didn't have to try and come up with something smart to say and could just observe him.

Castle's rambling was interrupted by a cheerful "Hi daddy," and as Alexis went to hug her father, Louis flung his arms around Kate's waist.

"Hey Tiger, how was school?" she asked him, hugging him back.

Before Louis could reply, though, Alexis' joyful voice interrupted them again. "Guess what daddy, Louis asked if we wanted to go and see 'Finding Nemo' together! Can we go please, please, please?"

Hearing this, Kate gave her son a kiss on the head and murmured a silent "I'm so proud of you" to him. The look on his face made her heart swell with love for her little boy. He was just as proud of himself as she was of him.

"Well, if Louis invited us, of course we'll go!" Castle replied with a grin.

"Can we go tomorrow?" Alexis asked the two adults hopefully.

"I'm sorry Alexis, but I'm afraid I have to work tomorrow," Kate responded with a wistful look on her face and felt terrible when the girl's face fell slightly.

"We could go on your next day off, mommy," Louis suggested.

"That would be next Monday. Does that work for you guys?" Kate shot Castle a questioning look.

"Next Monday - November 17th?" Castle calculated and checked with her if that was the date she meant.

Kate nodded.

"Sounds perfect," Castle smiled.

"Perfect?!" Alexis said, exasperated. "That's a full week from today!"

Nibbling her bottom lip, Kate gave Castle an apologizing look. But before she could say anything and cheer the girl up a little, Castle put his arm around Alexis' shoulders and gave them a squeeze. "Now Alexis, a week isn't that bad. We could go to the library tomorrow and get you some books, that way you'll have something to pass the time. How does that sound?"

"Good, I guess, but still, this week can't go by fast enough!" The little girl made a dramatic gesture with her hands before crossing her arms and pushing her lower lip out a little.

Kate had to hide the grin that threatened to spill free, the little redhead really was quite a handful.

As she bid the Castles goodbye she had to admit though, that the little girl was right. This week couldn't possibly go by fast enough. She was looking forward to going to the movies. She couldn't even remember the last time she had been there and the cheerful and honest nature of the Castles did wonders to her soul. Even the quick encounter in front of the school had put a smile on her face, on a day that had so far been filled with the unpleasant encounter of a floater. That was quite the accomplishment.

XXX

Monday finally came round and Castle found himself almost jogging to Alexis' school. When he finally arrived, a little out of breath, Kate was already waiting for him.

"Hey Castle, everything alright?" she asked, smirking.

"Hey, yeah, just lost track of time," he replied, trying to catch his breath while doing his best to still radiate some dignity.

They continued chatting and Castle enjoyed how utterly relaxed Kate seemed. She was joking and smiling all throughout their conversation.

When the two children finally arrived, they hailed a cab and he gave the driver the address of the movie theater. Castle paid the fare, something that didn't go unnoticed by Kate, and while Castle listed the different kinds of candy he was going to buy, Kate bought four tickets.

Castle tried to protest, but Kate cut him off. "You paid for lunch last time, this is the least I can do," she explained. "Fair's fair."

"Alright, but I am paying for the snacks and drinks." Looking at Louis he asked, "Have you decided what you want to have yet?"

The boy looked up at him and pointed at the bag of M&amp;Ms.

"Okay, what else?"

Both, Louis and Kate shot him confused glances.

"You can't be serious! We are at the movies, you can't have just one tiny bag of candy! Each of you, choose at least three," he ordered, determined to show them what it meant to go to the movies with a Castle.

"Three?!" Louis' eyes lit up.

And before his mother could interfere, he pointed at the display cabinet. "Can I have M&amp;Ms, a butterfinger and gummyworms?"

"Coming right up," Castle smiled at him, glad to hear the boy finally talking a little more.

After convincing Kate to also choose 3 different kinds of candy, they finally made their way into the movie hall and found their seats. Alexis and Louis sat sandwiched between Castle and Kate.

"If you get scared, just grab my hand," Castle whispered towards his daughter who just shook her head.

"I'm not a baby anymore, daddy, and this movie isn't very scary."

Castle interrupted the silence twice more during the movie, only to be quieted by his daughter every time.

To keep her laughter at bay, Kate quickly snatched a couple of M&amp;Ms from her son let them melt on her tongue.

When the ending credits finally rolled over the large screen, Castle was thoroughly happy. The movie had been funny and he had had an entertaining afternoon in great company.

That is, until they reached the exit of the movie theater. He saw how Louis suddenly started tugging on Kate's arm and she was immediately worried when she looked down at him.

"Tiger, what's wrong?" Kate asked and crouched down.

"We didn't sing," Louis replied, his bottom lip quivering and Alexis sent him a helpless look but Castle was just as clueless as she was.

Kate pulled Louis into a hug. "That's alright, we have had a great afternoon so far, haven't we? That's just as good as singing."

Curiosity finally got the better of Alexis. "Sing? Why would we sing?"

"Because it's mommy's birthday," Louis replied, on the verge of tears.

"What?" Alexis and Castle squeaked at the same time and before Kate could start explaining, Alexis sprinted forward and threw her arms around her waist before looking up at her shyly. "Happy birthday, Kate."

Somewhat timid, Castle too, pulled her into a quick hug and wished her a happy birthday. He noticed how she stiffened slightly and he kept the hug brief. She was obviously not a fan of PDA and a little uncomfortable.

"Thank you," she replied. "But honestly, it's no big deal." Castle knew she hoped the topic was off the table now, but Alexis had a different idea.

"We should have some cake, daddy!"

"Pumpkin, maybe Kate and Louis have other plans", he told her while looking at Kate, giving her an out.

"Louis and I planned on having pizza. But I guess you could join us, if you are free. What do you think, Louis?" she looked down at her son who was still on the edge of tears and he nodded.

"Birthday pizza is just as cool!" Alexis exclaimed cheerfully and together they made their way to a little diner.

After everyone had a large slice of pizza in front of them and Kate had argued them out of singing 'happy birthday' to her, Castle finally saw her relax again.

XXX

After reluctantly letting Castle pay for their pizza, "It's your birthday, this is the least I can do," they started the long walk home together. Kate and Castle were talking amicably, while Alexis and Louis were walking a few feet ahead of them. Every once in a while, Alexis would turn around and smile shyly at Kate, who would smile back at her.

"She really likes you," Castle told her honestly.

"I like her too," she responded. "She's such a sweet, little girl." Of course she had noticed the way Alexis looked at her. It was silly, but Kate felt a sense of pride, every time the little girl looked up at her, totally in awe. Nobody had looked at her like that for a very long time.

"Listen," Kate started hesistantly, "I wanted to properly thank you for today and also for last time. Louis and I had a truly great time and I'm sure you are usually very busy, being an author and all, so I just wanted you to know that I really appreciate the fact that you chose to spend time with us."

"It's not a problem Kate, not at all. Alexis and I are glad that we got to hang out with you. I may be a writer, but first and foremost I'm a dad. And seeing how much Alexis is enjoying herself when she is around you and Louis makes it easy to make time."

Kate released the breath she didn't realize she had been holding. Since first meeting the Castles she had been truly concerned whether or not they enjoyed themselves as much as she did.

"This might creep you out a little, but I mean it in the nicest possible way," Castle continued, grinning, "I like spending time with you, Kate. In my profession you don't meet a lot of women that are ... _real_, if you know what I mean? Talking to you is refreshing."

At that, Kate let out a laugh. "The feeling's mutual, Castle."

"Why do you always call him Castle?" Alexis all of a sudden piped up.

"It's a cop thing, I guess," Kate said with a smile in Castle's direction.

"I like it, it sounds cool." Castle waggled his eyebrows playfully before coming to a stand on a street corner. "Well, this is where Alexis and I have to turn right."

Was that disappointment Kate saw in his eyes? At least, that feeling was mutual too.

"Well, get home safe," she said with a smile.

"Shouldn't that be my line?" Castle smirked, amused that it was the girl telling the boy to get home safely instead of the other way round.

"I'm a cop, remember? I know how to use my gun," she said, a little dryly but still friendly.

"My apologies," he grinned, his hand lifted in a gesture of surrender.

Kate grinned back at him, holding his gaze for maybe a second too long before the impatient honk of a car in the distance made her blink and the moment was gone.

"Thank you again for today," she said quickly, trying to prevent an awkward silence. "I'm sure we'll see you soon."

"I sure hope so."

Kate nodded her agreement, grabbed Louis' hand, waved at them again and turned left, happy to the core.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Author's Note: Totally overwhelmed with the response this story has gotten!**

**Chapter 4**

"Good morning, kiddos!" Martha Rodgers announced herself as she opened the door to her son's loft using her spare key. Dressed in a variety of bright colors, like always, the actress made her way into the kitchen where her granddaughter sat at the counter with a bowl of cereal in front of her.

"Grams!" The younger redhead quickly climbed off the barstool and threw herself into her grandmother's awaiting arms.

"Morning Mother," Martha was greeted much less enthusiastically by her son, who was currently slicing an apple for Alexis' lunch.

"Someone seems to be in a good mood," the older woman noted sarcastically and sat down on the barstool next to Alexis.

"Paula forced him to attend a charity event tonight," Alexis informed her grandmother, scooping up the last of her cereal.

"That agent knows what's good for you. You haven't made a public appearance since -"

"Since Gina, I know," Castle quickly cut in, less than thrilled to be reminded about his last failed relationship yet again.

Luckily, Alexis chose that moment to declare she had to go brush her teeth and left the two adults alone in the kitchen.

"Well, you have to go out there eventually at some point and you have always loved charity events. What seems to be the problem?"

"It's just not ...," Castle ran a hand through his hair in frustration, "very appealing anymore. I've gotten so tired of all that forced small-talk and the falsity of those people. Every event is the same and all the people are the same. Do you know what I mean?"

His mother nodded understandingly. As an actress on Broadway she had had her fair share of those events and is very well acquainted with the people that attend them.

"And the worst part is, if I go there by myself, all these women will be throwing themselves at me."

"You know, there was a time where you enjoyed that," Martha reminded him with raised eyebrows. "Actually, I recall reading quite a few articles on Page Six-"

"That was years ago, mother," Castle interrupted her, not keen on hearing about a more reckless phase of his life where he lived a lot more carelessly than he does now. "You know I'm not that guy anymore."

"True that. Well then, what about a date?", Martha suggested, as always trying to hook him up with someone.

"I wouldn't know who to ask," Castle admitted. "I want someone real, someone who I can have an actual conversation with, someone who is not from _that _world. I've made that mistake twice, right now I want something different."

Martha knew he was referring to his ex-wife, and mother of his daughter, and ex-fiancée, and sadly, she had to agree with him. Both relationships had not been meant to work out.

"What about that girl you have been talking non-stop about? What was her name? Katherine?" seeing her son nod in confirmation, she continued, "Why don't you ask her out?"

"I'd love to, but we're not quite there yet. What I have with Kate is different, it's important, and I can't mess it up." Castle finished preparing Alexis' lunch and placed his ellbows on the counter to be at eye level with his mother. "Sometimes I feel like I've known her for ever, but then again, sometimes I discover something knew about her and feel like I don't know her at all. Which is probably true," he added with a regretful sigh. "She's just so very multifaceted, so mysterious, and I need to not mess this up," Castle told his mother with determination. "I want to get it right this time."

Martha regarded her son with curiosity. He'd seldom been this smitten by someone and talked about someone with such passion. In fact, she could only recall one other situation like this. Kyra Blaine. The one who got away. The one woman she had thought of as the right one for her son. Until she had decided that she needed space all of a sudden and booked a flight to London that is.

Her thoughts were interrupted by tiny sock-clad feet rushing down the stairs. "Let's go daddy!"

Waving his mother goodbye, Castle took Alexis' hand and started the short walk to her school.

What he had told his mother was the truth. He'd love for Kate Beckett to join him that evening, but something told him she was a woman with a story. By the way she guards herself, it must be a very painful story. He wanted to take his time with her. Get to know her, be there for her. He didn't dare to think about anything beyond that, yet, but he would settle for just being a friend to her, if that meant she would laugh a little more often.

"Hey daddy?" Alexis tried to get his attention by pulling his hand.

"Yes?"

"If you are going to that charity event tonight, who is going to watch me?" the girl wanted to know.

"I gave Katrina a call." When Alexis didn't reply but stared straight ahead, he grew a little worried. "You like her, don't you?"

"Katrina's nice. But I like you better," she told him earnestly. Castle knew, she had never liked to be babysat by strangers, but sometimes he just couldn't do anything about it. Attending publicity events and parties were a part of his job and his mother wasn't always available.

"I certainly hope so," Castle told her with a dramatic gesture that made her giggle. Turning serious again, he looked down at her. "It's just one night Pumpkin, do you think you can manage?"

"Yeah, I'm a big girl now, remember?" she reminded him with a proud gleam to her eyes.

"You are." He moved to give her a kiss on the forehead, but the slender girl quickly took two steps back.

"Not in front of the school, daddy, I told you!" she reminded him, annoyance seeping through her voice.

Right. Big girl.

"Sorry, sorry," Castle held up his hands in surrender. "Have fun in school today, Pumpkin, and be good!", he called after her, as she sprinted through the front gate of the school and into the yard towards a small group of little girls.

XXX

It was barely past midnight when he returned back to his loft. After paying Katrina, the young babysitter, he poured himself a glass of scotch and settled down on the couch in his office. The evening had been just as he had expected it to be. He had put on a fake smile, engaged with people and flirted back shamelessly, making sure the press got a good glimpse of it. The last thing he needed right now was tabloids stating he was a broken man after his failed relationship with Gina Cowell, his publisher and for the past few months also his ex-fiancée. No, he needed to preserve his image. Richard Castle, famous author and playboy extraordinaire, that's who he was. At least in the papers. Sure, there had been a stage in his life, after Meredith had divorced him, where he had tried to choke his feelings in meaningless one-night stands and parties, but he had quickly realized that two-year-old Alexis needed stability in her life and he needed to find a different way to cope. For years now, he had been different, had even been with Gina for more than a year, but the image of the playboy stuck with him, and Paula, his agent, expected him to act the part, since it did wonders for book sales.

Sighing, he hoped that the people that mattered, Kate included, knew to look deeper, see his image for what it is - just an image - and give him a chance to show them the real him.

Downing the rest of his scotch, he stood and slowly went up the stairs to check on his daughter. Tiptoeing into her room, he silently watched the rise and fall of her chest for a few minutes. Once again it struck him, no matter how badly he had messed up his previous relationships, he was still so very, very lucky.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Chapter 5**

It had been a relatively calm morning at the Precinct, that Wednesday morning in early December. After seeing Louis off to school, Kate had carefully maneuvered her Crown Vic through the icy streets of New York and used the slow morning to catch up on some paperwork.

Until she got the call that is. The one call every parent dreads. The 'it's your son, Ms. Beckett' call.

After hearing what had happened, she had dropped everything and basically sprinted out of the Precinct.

Quickly entering the school building, Kate turned to her right where the principal's office was. Through the open door she saw Louis sitting in an uncomfortable looking plastic chair with the school's nurse talking to him soothingly and wrapping his right wrist in a bandage. With his head bowed and his shoulders slumped the little boy was the perfect picture of misery. When he spotted his mother in the doorway, he wrestled his wrist free from the nurse's hold and ran towards her, tears running down his cheeks.

"Mommy," he sobbed quietly into Kate's shoulder after she picked him up and held him tightly.

"It's okay Louis, I'm here now, everything's fine," she tried to soothe him.

After Louis had calmed down a little, the nurse made her way over to Kate and told her how the little boy had slipped during recess and sprained his wrist and bumped his head. After reassuring Kate that he did not have a concussion, just a nasty bump, and giving a few last instructions, Kate thanked the nurse and slowly carried her son to her car to drive him home.

Back at home she called her Precinct to let the Captain know that she had to take the rest of the day off, while Louis clung to her side, seeking her comfort.

She pulled him into her lap and started to rock them from side to side. The calming movement was as much for her sake as for Louis'. She was probably just as startled as he was.

"Does it hurt, baby?" she asked Louis who had, yet again, tears in his eyes.

He nodded into her shoulder and let out a little whimper.

"Let me get you some ice." Kate carefully scrambled out from under him. "And what do you say, feel like having a movie marathon?"

Louis' eyes lit up at that. Movie marathons were his favorite part about being sick. He quickly stood to pick out the first movie.

When Kate returned from the kitchen a couple of minutes later, an ice pack, a plate with cookies and a glass of milk in hand, she saw Louis pop _The Lion King _into the DVD player.

They lay snuggled under a blanked together, icing Louis' wrist, when the phone rang, some time halfway through the movie. Groaning, Kate left the comforting warmth of the blanket and stood to get it.

"Beckett," she greeted courtly, her eyes still trained on the TV.

"Kate? It's Rick." This is not who she had expected. At all. What could he possibly want?

"Hi Rick. What's up?"

"Alexis told me Louis injured himself in school today and we just wanted to know how he's feeling?" He actually sounded worried. That sweet, sweet man.

To have a little more privacy and not disturb Louis' movie any further, Kate carried the phone into her bedroom.

"He slipped and sprained his wrist," Kate informed Castle. "He'll be alright, he's just a little in shock at the moment." Much like me, she wanted to add, but didn't.

"We're glad to hear that it's nothing more serious. Poor Louis, this winter is nasty!"

"Yeah, it is ...," Kate replied vaguely. And after a moment of awkward silence she added, "We're currently having a movie marathon, trying to focus on something else, you know? I was thinking ... you and Alexis wouldn't want to maybe join us?" Holy shit, where had that come from? She couldn't possibly invite Richard Castle and his daughter into her home. Her fairly small and currently _very untidy _home. But the words were already out of her mouth and there was no taking them back.

She heard rustling and muffled voices from the other end of the line, before Castle spoke up again. "Actually, we would love to." She could practically hear the smile in his voice.

After giving him her address, she dropped the phone onto her bed and went to grab the vacuum cleaner. Starting in the kitchen and then moving on to the living room, she began to furiously vacuum her apartment. She was so focused on the - sheer impossible - task in front of her, that she didn't hear Louis protesting when the sound of the vacuum cleaner drowned out the ones of his movie.

"Mom!"

When she finally heard him, she looked up, startled, and turned the machine off.

"Mommy, what's going on?" the little boy wanted to know. Because something must clearly be going on in order for his mother to be cleaning this madly.

"Castle and Alexis are coming over to join us for our movie marathon," Kate explained. "Your room is at least somewhat clean, right?"

At that, the boy paled slightly, paused his movie and ran to his room, panicked.

That's what she thought. "Watch your wrist," she called after him, already maneuvering the vacuum around the couch and coffee table in the living room.

Kate sighed when she discocvered that her bookshelf needed to be dusted again. She has never been very good at cleaning and keeping order. Usually, once she was finished with work and Louis was in bed, she is simply so very _tired_ and wants to have the hour or so, before she collapses into bed every night, to herself, doing something she enjoys. Like reading a good book or taking a long, hot shower.

Deciding, the floor was clean enough, she put the vacuum cleaner back into the supply closet and started to wipe down the counters in the kitchen.

That's the position she froze in, when she heard the doorbell ring. Dropping the sponge she had used into the sink and smoothing down her purple sweater, she took a few calming breaths. It's just the Castles, she kept telling herself.

She opened the door zestfully and was greeted with the smiling faces of Castle and Alexis.

"Hi. Come in," she greeted with a nervous smile and stepped aside to let the two of them enter.

Two pairs of blue eyes glanced around and took the small apartment in.

Self-consciously, Kate began to explain, "I'm sorry, this probably isn't what you are used to, I'm sure your apartment is a lot bigger and a lot more-"

Castle must have sensed how unsure she was of herself, because he quickly cut in, "This is great, you have a beautiful home, Kate."

"Yeah, it looks so comfy!" Alexis stated with a bright smile.

Relieved, Kate took their coats and called for Louis, who shortly after appeared.

"Hey Louis, I heard you had quite the day today, huh?", Castle greeted him, his voice sympathetic but still cheerful.

"Look, I made you something." Alexis held out a blue piece of paper covered in glitter. "It's a get-well-soon-card. And it's blue because that's your favorite color."

Louis accepted the card with a shy smile and started to decipher Alexis' still slightly scrawly handwriting.

"Did you make that yourself, Alexis?" Kate asked the girl who seemed to be very proud of herself.

"I did."

"It's beautiful, and so very thoughtful, thank you," she squeezed the girl's shoulder in gratitude and shot Castle a quick smile.

Kate led them over to the couch. "We were just in the middle of _The Lion King_. Do you want to finish that movie or watch something else? We have a few other Disney movies, on that shelf over there," she pointed at a shelf next to the TV, "if you want to check them out, Alexis."

"_The Lion King _is fine, it's a great movie," Alexis stated as she plopped down on the couch. Kate was relieved to see how comfortable the girl was in her home.

"Why don't you guys continue with the movie while I prepare a few snacks?" she suggested.

"Do you want some help?" Castle offered.

"It's fine, I'll join you in a minute." With that, Kate went into the kitchen and grabbed a bowl for some popcorn while Castle sat down on the couch, next to Louis and Alexis.

Ten minutes later, the small coffee table in her living room was covered with snacks. There was popcorn, some gummy bears, nachos, juice and milk.

So much for a healthy diet, Kate thought, as she sat down next to Castle. She had always placed value on a healthy diet, she knew how important it was, especially for children who were still growing, and she made sure Louis always had some kind of fruit or vegetable with every meal.

"Do you want something more healthy? Maybe I should go and slice some apples ...," but before Kate could get up a third time to retrieve something from the kitchen, Castle put a large hand on her thigh to hold her back.

"Relax Kate, this is great," he assured her with a smile. "Just enjoy the movie."

He removed his hand from her thigh and she missed the warmth instantly.

She looked at Louis and Alexis, who were both munching on some popcorn while enjoying the movie, and she finally leaned back into the cushions and let herself relax.

But after a few minutes of silently watching the movie, her thoughts drifted back to what had happened earlier that day. She looked at her son again who was now sporting a blue and purple bump on his forehead. What if it had been a concussion? What if he had broken his wrist? What would have happened if she had had an active case today? She would not have been able to leave just like that. She remembered how frightened the six year old had looked when she had first seen him sitting next to the nurse. He must have been so scared with all these strange people around him. And he must have been in a lot of pain_. _

She tried to shake off those thoughts but she simply couldn't bring her mind to shut up. Great, here she was, watching a movie with her son and two of the very few friends she had, on the verge of tears over a sprained wrist. She took a few calming breaths and waved aside the worried look Castle gave her.

However, the tears were back at a particularly emotional scene towards the end of the movie. It was just too much and she quickly excused herself and fled into her bedroom, closing the door behind her.

XXX

Castle had noticed how she had paled and tensed at some point during the movie and had guessed that something wasn't right. He was proofed right, when she got up and left the room in a hurry. He looked at the two children, who were immersed in the tale of the little lion, and decided to go after her.

He left the living room area and found himself in a small hallway with a total of three doors. Only one of which was closed. He took a moment to gather his thoughts. Was it okay for him to go after her, into her bedroom of all places? Was he overstepping? But when he heard heavy breathing from the other side of the door, just like someone was desperately trying not to burst into tears, his wanting to be there for her overruled all other thoughts.

He gently knocked on the door. "Kate?"

He heard her inhale sharply, but she didn't reply.

"Kate, are you okay?" he tried again.

This time he got a response. "Yeah, I'll be out in a minute."

Her voice was thick with unshed tears and she didn't sound fine at all, so he slowly opened the door and peeked inside. It was simply like him to push and ignore requests. The room he found himself in was her bedroom and she sat on the edge of the bed, with her knees curled up into her chest and her head laid down on top of them.

She didn't look at him when he sat down next to her on the bed, and he had a strong feeling it had something to do with her eyes being red and puffy.

He placed his hand in-between her shoulder blades and began to rub large, soothing circles. "What's wrong, Kate?"

Again, she didn't reply. But she didn't need to, Castle was pretty sure he knew exactly what was going on in her head.

"You know, this one time, when Alexis was about four years old, she slipped on the stairs and fell. Her nose started bleeding and after only a few minutes this nasty bruise on her chin had formed. I panicked. She kept crying, the bleeding wouldn't stop and I didn't know what to do, so we drove to the hospital. The doctors checked her out, her nose stopped bleeding shortly after and the bruise was just a bruise, no concussion or loose teeth. She was going to be just fine. Still, they wanted to keep her there over night, for observation, she did hit her head pretty hard on one of the stairs. I called my mother and asked her to bring a bag for Alexis with her favorite toys. My mother arrived and barely acknowledged the fact that she took a fall down the stairs. Instead they started playing cards on the hospital bed. Alexis was giggling the whole time and won every round of the game. All the while I was feeling terrible. I kept thinking about the_ what ifs?, _until my mother took me aside and told me she was fine and had probably already forgotten about everything. It was true, I was actually more in shock than Alexis herself. I kept hovering until she told me to stop being such a baby." He chuckled at that memory before sobering and continuing, "What I'm saying is, he is fine. Louis is fine. This is what children do. They play outside, they run around, they fall and they slip. This probably won't be the last time, but look at him. He is watching a movie, eating popcorn and entertaining Alexis, by this time tomorrow he won't even remember what really happened today."

At last, Kate looked up. "It's just _so_ hard, you know," she sniffled. "I hate seeing him in this much pain and he looked so frightened when I picked him up. And I can't help wondering, what if I would not have been able to pick him up this fast? What if I had worked a case? I wouldn't have been able to just drop everything and take the rest of the day off. There's no one but me and him." A tear leaked from the corner of her eye and made its way down her cheek.

"There's no one you could call?" Castle was a little shocked by that statement. Surely, there must be _someone_.

Kate shook her head and buried her face in her hands again.

"The next time something like this happens, you call me, okay?" The words had just tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them.

"What?" Kate looked at him with wide eyes, surprise evident on her face.

"You call me. I will be there, I will always be there," he told her sincerely and gave her a smile.

The tears kept flowing, but she nodded in agreement, and Castle pulled her against his chest. Her hands fisted in his shirt as her tears stained the skin on his shoulder.

After a while the sobs ebbed away and she looked up at him. "I'm sorry I'm such a mess," she apologized and wiped the tears off her cheeks.

"You're not a mess," he told her and pulled away a little. He knew she wasn't a very touchy-feely person and it had taken him by surprise that she allowed him to hug her, but now he didn't want to overdo it and gave her some space.

"And what is it that you call this?" she asked and gestured at herself, her shoulders slumped in defeat.

"Someone who needs a friend after a hard day."

"Is that what we are? Friends?" she asked him, warily.

"I'd like to think so," Castle replied with a warm smile, his head tilted in question. He'd like to think of her as a friend and hoped she'd feel the same way.

Kate nodded at him.

"Okay. I should probably check on the children, the movie has probably ended by now." He moved to get off the bed, but Kate's hand on his wrist held him back.

"Thank you, Castle. I-I needed this; a friend." The look of raw vulnerability and sheer gratitude in her eyes said it all. Just how _badly _she had needed a friend.

"Anytime, Kate. You can always talk to me. And I meant what I said earlier." With that he finally stood and went to check on the children.

XXX

By the time Castle closed the door of her bedroom behind him, Kate's mind was an emotional roller coaster. She still felt slightly pathetic for loosing it in front of Richard Castle, but at the same time she was content. He had understood, he had been there for here and she knew, he would keep his promise of always being there when she needed him.

It felt good to know she had a friend in him. Castle, and Alexis too, were easy to talk to, they respected her wishes and were genuinely interested in what she had to say. She didn't know what it was, but something about their baby blue eyes made her want to tell them more about herself, made her want to spill all her fears and secrets. Especially when Castle directed his gaze at her. Something in the way he looked at her suddenly made her yearn for someone to talk to and she knew, should she decide to fully open up to Castle, to really let him in, that he wouldn't hurt her. The way he looked at her was too honest for that. And that's what she really wanted, she realized all of a sudden, to let someone in, to trust in someone again, thinking of him as a friend was a good start for that.

She stood and went into her bathroom to wash her face and remove it of any remnants of mascara. Not that there were many anymore. She didn't even want to know how Castle's shirt looked. She just hoped Alexis and Louis weren't going to ask about it, this would be hard to explain to them.

She left her bedroom and heard soft voices from the room to her left, Louis' room. She peeked through the open door and saw the two children on the floor building a large ship with _Legos_. She smiled softly at the image.

"What are you two doing?"

"Alexis is helping me build a ship, mommy," Louis explained.

"You two are doing a good job, it looks great!" Looking around the room, she noticed someone was missing. "Alexis, do you know where your dad is?"

"Uh, he said something about preparing dinner? You should probably go and look for him, he sometimes does very stupid things while cooking." The redhead looked a little concerned.

"I'm sure he's fine. I'll go check on him and call you two when dinner's ready, alright?"

With that, Kate left the two of them and went into the kitchen, where Castle was indeed going through her cupboards in search of something edible.

"So, is this something friends do too?" she asked with a raised eyebrow, yanking his chain a little.

"Uhh ... I, sorry, I ... You looked like you needed a minute-"

She decided to put him out of his misery, even though his stuttering was adorable. "It's fine, Castle," she laughed. "It's very thoughtful of you. So, what are we having?"

"Well, I haven't actually found much food yet," he admitted.

"I really need to go grocery shopping. But I know that I have some noodles and the ingredients for a carbonara sauce. Is that something you and Alexis like?"

"Actually the carbonara sauce is my specialty. Just sit back and watch while the master prepares the sauce."

"The master, huh?" Kate chuckled and grabbed the ingredients from the fridge.

"The master," he confirmed with a cocky grin. "You'll see."

Together they whipped up a meal of spaghetti carbonara along with a tomato salad, while Alexis and Louis set the table.

During dinner all four of them chatted amicably, even Louis spoke up a few times and told them about the ship he and Alexis were currently building. His fall and wrist completely forgotten.

After dinner, Castle was reluctant to leave, but both Louis and Alexis were tired and Kate too was ready to go to bed.

"But what about our ship, daddy?" Alexis protested. Apparently, she, too, was reluctant to leave.

"You can finish it another time, come on," Castle held out her coat.

"But daddy," Alexis whined, not going anywhere near the coat.

"You can come back any time you like Alexis," Kate told her.

"Really?" The girl seemed relieved. "Or you can come to our place and we can finish it there! And then I can show you all of my toys," she told Louis with a bright smile, who didn't seem averse to the idea.

"I'm sure we'll figure something out," Castle said while offering Alexis the coat again, and this time she slid her arms through the sleeves.

"Bye Louis, get well soon, and bye Kate, thank you for today, we had a lot of fun."

"We did!" Alexis agreed with her father.

"Thank you for coming and making today fun," Kate told the two Castles. "We'll definitely repeat that."

And with that, they left.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Have you guys recovered from the finale yet? I think I need a few more days ... **

**Chapter 6**

"What time is it, daddy?" Alexis asked for the third time that morning.

"Almost noon. They'll be here any second, Pumpkin," Castle assured his daughter.

It was the weekend before Christmas and they had decided to invite Kate and Louis over to bake cookies together and give the two little ones a chance to finish building their ship. It was probably also the last time they'd see each other this year.

When the doorbell finally rang, Alexis raced over to the door and opened it with enthusiasm.

"Hi Kate! Hi Louis!" she greeted. "Did you bring the ship?"

The boy motioned to his backpack. "I hope it didn't break, but I was real careful on the way over."

Castle finally joined the group.

"Hey guys, come on in," he greeted and ushered them inside. "I'm so glad you could make it."

He took their coats and gave them a minute to adjust to the loft. He knew from experience that people sometimes were a little overwhelmed with the size of his home and there was a lot to take in.

"Your home is so big!" Louis exclaimed with wide eyes.

Kate seemed to agree, judging by the way she looked around with wide eyes. His loft was big. And very stylish. Most of the walls were covered by bookshelves all of which must hold a total of more than a thousand books. He noticed how her gaze fell on the many bookshelves covering his walls. He guessed she'd probably enjoy most of them, they had similar tastes when it came to books. After all, she did admit that she was a fan of his work.

His thoughts were interrupted by Alexis. "Do we start with the cookies now or can Louis and I finish the ship first?"

"Why don't we start with the cookies?" Castle suggested. "We don't know how much time Kate has, she is on call today. Maybe we can finish at least one load of cookies before she and Louis have to leave, so they have some to take home with them? Sound good?"

"What does that mean, you're on call?" Alexis looked at Kate for help.

"It means that when there is a case, they call me and I have to go to the Precinct and help solve it," Kate explained.

"You have to work on weekends?" Alexis couldn't quite believe it.

"Sometimes. But in exchange there will be a day during the week where I don't have to work. So, what do you say, let's start with the cookies?", Kate suggested and Castle led them into his large kitchen, where all the ingredients already sat on the counters.

"Are you up for a baking competition?" Castle challenged Kate and Louis as he grabbed a mixing bowl.

"Baking competition?" Kate was confused.

"We always have one," Alexis explained. "No recipes and scales allowed, you can use all the ingredients on the counter and the first one to have a baking sheet full of cookies that are actually edible," she shot her father a pointed look, who in return pretended not to see, "Is the winner."

"And I feel really sorry for you, Kate," Alexis added as an afterthought. "Because today it's kids versus grown-ups and daddy's cookies are never any good."

"Hey!" Castle protested. "I know _someone _who is not allowed to have any of my cookies," he told her and feigned to be offended by her words.

"Wouldn't want any anyway."

"Fine."

"Fine."

With a last challenging look at his daughter, he gave Kate a spoon and grabbed the container with the sugar.

"Louis? Kate? You ready?"

Seeing them both nod, he opened the container. "May the best team win."

While Kate's idea was to approach the task strategically and roughly estimate the amounts of sugar, flour and butter that they needed for the batter, Castle had other plans. He dumped half of the sugar in the container into the mixing bowl and grabbed four sticks of butter.

"What are you doing? That's way too much sugar!"

"No it's not, it's just fine," Castle defended his actions and kept pouring, just to make a point.

Kate ignored him, grabbed a spoon and scooped some of the sugar out of the bowl while Castle added ridiculous amounts of butter in. She simply shook her head at him and glanced at Alexis and Louis who were whispering as silently as kids could only whisper. She noticed they had two eggs next to their bowl.

"Do you need help with those eggs?" Kate offered.

"No!" Alexis was quick to reply. "You can't come over to our side of the counter."

"Exactly, mommy. No peeking," her son chided her.

Kate put her hands up in surrender and Castle used that moment of her inattentiveness to dump a whole bag of chocolate chips into the bowl. When she saw that, she groaned, but he simply gave her a cheeky grin. You only live once, right?

"Relax Kate, loosen up a little," Castle told her and playfully bumped her shoulder with his.

"Loosen up? You want me to loosen up?" Kate challenged him playfully, while she grabbed a bag of gummy bears that was also sitting on the counter, and dumped it into the batter.

"Ohh, I like the way you think, Detective." Castle grinned and reached for the Oreo cookies.

All of a sudden Louis and Alexis were the mature ones in the kitchen.

After adding about every topping they could think of into their bowl, they blotted it onto a cooking sheet and high-fived each other.

"Finished!"

They turned to look at the two children who stared into their own bowl a little hopelessly.

"I think something went wrong daddy," Alexis admitted, cheeks turning a soft shade of pink.

Castle carefully peeked into their bowl. He was greeted with a very watery, yellow-y substance with clumps in it.

"You think, Alexis?" he snorted. "Did you add flour?"

Together they added flour and started beating the batter and after a couple of minutes it looked a little more like cookie dough.

Unafraid, Castle dipped one finger into the mass and brought it up to his mouth.

"This is ... good," he exclaimed, but Kate, as a mother herself, knew that tone. It meant, it was anything _but_ good.

"You should try it, Kate."

"Yes, mommy, try it, it looks so good!"

She could obviously never deny her son anything, so she too, very carefully dipped one finger into the batter.

"Why so hesitant, Kate?" Castle grabbed her hand and pushed all four of her fingers knuckle-deep into the gooey dough.

She glared at him and he could tell she was probably thinking of a way to get payback, but he only smirked at her.

Trying some of the substance on her fingers, he saw her fight the urge to gag. Something _definitely _went wrong with those cookies.

"This is exceptional. Good job Louis and Alexis!"

While the children looked at each other gleefully, the adults stared at each other, grossed out. Castle gave Kate a paper towel to clean up her fingers and together, the four of them, spread the dough on the baking sheet anyway.

Just as they were about to place the cookies in the oven, Kate's phone rang and she excused herself.

"Was that the Precinct?" Castle asked when she returned to the kitchen.

"Unfortunately. They need me on a case," she told him on a regretful sigh.

"That's too bad, but we understand." He tried to mask his disappointment.

"But what about Alexis' and my ship?" Louis asked. "And the cookies?" He had really been looking forward to spending another day with Alexis.

"The two of you can finish the ship some other time. And we have plenty of cookies at home," she reminded him.

"Uh, well, if you wanted, Louis could stay here," Castle suggested. "That way they can finish their ship and when you pick him up tonight, you can take some of the _exceptional,_" he emphasized that word, "cookies home with you."

"I don't know ... I don't know at what time I get to leave the Precinct tonight." Kate looked a little indecisive when she looked from Castle to Louis and back to Castle again.

"He can stay for dinner and afterwards we'll pop in a movie. It's fine with us, he is welcome to stay for as long as you have to work tonight."

"Would you like to stay here with Rick and Alexis while mommy is at work?", she asked her son, who nodded excitedly.

"It's settled then," Castle smiled cheerfully.

Kate looked at her son again to double-check, but he only nodded vigorously.

"Alright," Kate smiled. "Have fun you two," she waved at the children as she and Castle made their way to his front door. "He's not very good with staying at other places without me. Can you please give me a call if he should start crying or missing me?"

Sensing her hesitancy, he tried to reassure her while helping her into her coat. "I will, but don't worry about him, everything will be fine, he seems to be very at ease." He gave her an encouraging smile, she took another deep breath and stepped out of the doorway.

"See you later then."

"See you later."

XXX

It was just after ten PM when Kate finally knocked on Castle's front door. She had called, of course, and asked whether it was okay for Louis to stay for another couple of hours after dinner or if his babysitter should pick him up, but Castle had insisted he stayed. He also told her how they'd ordered pizza for dinner and that Louis was fine and didn't seem to miss her too much. The phone call had silenced her conscience a little and kept her from worrying too much. Because yes, she had worried about Louis. It wasn't because she left him at Castle's, a man she had only met a few times, but because there weren't many people the shy boy would stay with all by himself. She had no clue why, but she trusted Castle. Something about him and the cheerful little redhead made it easy to do so. Castle was responsible and a great father, Alexis was proof of that. No, she had worried about her little boy and wondered if he really was okay without her. She trusted Castle's words though, and after he told her everything was fine, she found it easier to concentrate on the murder board in front of her.

Castle opened the door and invited her in. He took her coat and she rid herself of her wet shoes.

Castle led her over to the couch where Louis was fast asleep, a thick blanket thrown over him. Kate smiled at the picture and bent to stroke his hair carefully.

"He and Alexis fell asleep while watching cartoons," Castle told her quietly.

"Everything went smooth then?"

Castle went into the kitchen and motioned for her to follow him, so they could talk without disturbing Louis. "Everything was fine, he was fine. Alexis did a good job of distracting him."

Relief washed over Kate's face. "I'm sorry I'm making such a big deal out of this. It's just ... he rarely stays with someone but me or his babysitter and I can't help it, I always worry about him."

"You don't have to apologize, I understand, I'm the same way." Castle gave her a sympathetic smile. "I was just about the reheat a slice of pizza, do you want one? I'd offer you one of the cookies we made earlier," he pointed at a large plate on the counter, "but I'm afraid the cookies the children made were not the worst ones to come out of the oven today. I think you went a little overboard with those gummy bears," he accused her jokingly.

Kate snorted. "So, it wasn't because of the obscene amount of sugar you added?"

"Do you want that slice of pizza or not?" Castle avoided her question, taking into account that the cookies were sickeningly sweet.

Kate nodded and they sat down at the counter and ate side by side.

"I've been meaning to ask you," Castle carefully broke the silence after a few minutes, "how do you manage?"

When Kate shot him a confused look, he elaborated further. "Raising a kid by yourself and working shifts. How do you do it?"

Kate put her slice of pizza on the plate and slightly pushed it away from her while thinking of a way to explain it to him.

He took her silence the wrong way and immediately apologized. "I'm sorry, that was too personal, I shouldn't have -"

Kate shook her head and gave him a small, reassuring smile. Castle seemed to be genuinely interested so she decided to tell him the truth. "It's hard and you miss a lot of bedtime stories," she started and tore off a piece of the pizza's crust to crumble it. "But I'm lucky to work at a very child-friendly Precinct. My Captain is very considerate and tries to always give me the weekends off and if a body drops at a hideous time of the day, he tries to send another team first. But much like today, that doesn't always work out. That's what Rosa is for. She's Louis' nanny, has been for 5 years actually. No matter what time I call her, she always comes right over. She's amazing."

"I'm glad you found someone trustworthy like her."

"Yeah, me too. She makes my life a lot easier," Kate smiled softly.

"In case, Rosa can't make it one time, you are always welcome to bring Louis over to the loft. We love having him here", Castle offered and gave her forearm a quick squeeze before picking up his pizza again.

"Thank you. And also thank you very much for today," she told him truthfully. "I sure hope he can spend a little more time with Alexis in the future. Her mirth is infectious, Louis is so happy and relaxed when he is around her."

Rick smiled softly at that. "Yeah, she is a little williwaw." He put their now empty plates in the sink and Kate went over to the couch where Louis was sleeping.

"Do you want me to call a cab?" Castle offered.

"Thanks but I parked my car outside."

"You actually found a spot?"

"It's a block away." Kate moved to wake her son softly, but Castle held her back.

"Don't wake him, he was really exhausted. Let me just grab a jacket and I'll help you."

He was back by her side within seconds and handed her her coat and covered Louis with his. While Kate put on her shoes, Castle carefully lifted the little boy and carried him over to the elevator.

"You don't have to do this, Castle, I know for a fact that he is quite heavy."

"It's nothing," Castle replied smoothly as the car rode down and Kate couldn't help but sneak a look at his arms and chest under his unbuttoned coat.

Together they made their way through the thin blanket of snow New York was covered with. When they spotted Kate's Crown Vic, she quickly opened the door and Castle carefully placed Louis in his seat and buckled him in.

"Thank you, Castle. For everything." Kate looked at him and gave him a small smile.

He squeezed her shoulder. "You're very welcome." She knew that he meant it. "Drive safe."

"Always do. Merry Christmas by the way."

"Merry Christmas!" and with that Castle turned around and jogged back to the loft where Alexis was still contently huddled under her thick blanket, sighing happily in her sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Just a short filler chapter while I'm fighting a nasty cold. **

**Chapter 7**

Kate and Louis were cutting their way through the early evening crowd on the busy sidewalks of Manhattan. Checking her watch, Kate urged her son to walk a little faster. After all they were meeting Alexis and Castle and from her experience, these two were always on time, if not a little early. They rounded the last corner when she already spotted the fiery red hair of the little girl.

"Hey Alexis, hey Castle," she greeted them. "Thank you for coming."

"It's our pleasure," Castle replied. "We were the ones after all who couldn't make it on the original date. Speaking of, happy belated birthday Louis."

"Yes, happy belated birthday!" Alexis chimed in. "We got you something," she told him as she gave him a package she had been hiding behind her back.

The little boy had turned seven that previous weekend but unfortunately Castle had to go on a book tour and had no choice but to take Alexis with him due to his mother being out of town as well. They had missed his birthday party but decided to meet for a belated birthday dinner during the next week when Kate was not working.

"Thank you," Louis grinned happily and accepted the square package.

"Let's open it inside, huh?" Kate pointed towards the little restaurant they were standing in front of.

"Good idea." Castle held the door open for them and they were quickly seated at a table near the windows.

After they placed their orders, Louis' gaze fell on his gift again. "Can I open it now?"

"Go ahead, Tiger."

With his mother's approval the now seven-year-old ripped through the gift paper and revealed a square box.

"This is so cool! Thank you, thank you very much!" Louis grinned widely and hugged the box to his chest.

"What did you get?" Kate wanted to know.

"It's a harbor by _Lego._" He showed her the picture on the front of the box which not only showed a harbor but also fishermen and small fishing boats, but a crane and containers.

"It's because we already built a ship together and with that set," Alexis pointed at the box, "we can build a second ship and a real harbor and then we can really play with it."

"That's a great idea, Alexis, did you come up with that?"

"We were just walking through the store actually when I saw it," Alexis nodded.

"It just seemed to fit," Castle said with a smile, looking at Louis who was still staring at his gift.

Their conversation was interrupted when the waitress brought their plates and their apple juices. Before anyone could pick up a fork, Castle grabbed his glass and raised it. "Happy birthday, Louis," he toasted and clinked his glass with the others.

They sat in comfortable silence and ate their spaghetti with meatballs until Castle asked Louis about his actual birthday party.

"Did you have fun?"

"We went to the park and had a huge snowball fight and because my team was one person short, mommy played with us."

Kate felt her cheeks heat up when Louis mentioned that particular event. It was not often that she embraced her inner child like that and loosened up enough to be a little childish in public, but damn, if she hadn't had a lot of fun that day with Louis and a few of his friends.

"Did she now? Any chance we might get a repetition of that?" Castle grinned at her saucily and Alexis looked quite hopeful too.

"Nope, not gonna happen," Kate replied with a smirk, making Castle pout slightly.

They finished their noodles and for the first time since they met, Castle let Kate take care of the bill. But not without putting up a fight. She didn't care though, he had done so much for her and Louis already, not necessarily speaking of material things, but more of simply being a friend to them, now it was her turn to do a little something for him.

They left the restaurant and since it was still relatively early they decided to take an after-dinner walk through Central Park. A thin blanket of snow covered the ground and Kate was carful to avoid icy patches on the pavement. Maybe wearing heeled boots on a day like this wasn't the smartest idea. She and Castle fell into an easy conversation as they strolled through the park, their children walking a little ahead of them, pointing to interesting animal prints in the snow or forming the occasional snowball to see how far they could throw it. It was idyllic, really. It was dusky, but the white snow shone bright from the ground, making it easier to see. The last sunrays of the day shone through the thick treetops, creating bizarre patterns on the ground in front of them.

Kate watched Louis hauling a large snowball through the air with a smile when she stepped on a frozen puddle. Catching her off guard, her feet slipped from under her and she already came to terms with slipping and tumbling on her butt in the snow in front of Castle, Alexis and Louis when a strong arm wrapped around her lower back and a warm hand grabbed her elbow, preventing her from falling.

"Careful, those frozen puddles are everywhere, hidden under the snow," Castle told her once she stood upright again and she had a hard time reading his emotions. She had expected him to tease her for it, but he did no such thing. Instead, he seemed serious and regarded her with an expression she couldn't quite figure out.

"I should really watch where I'm going," Kate mumbled, only now realizing how close she was to him. She could feel the warm puffs of air that escaped his mouth in the cold winter night on her cheeks, leaving them tingling at the stark contrast of hot and cold air caressing them. "And you can let go of me now," she added somewhat breathlessly, feeling the heat of his arm on her back permeate through their thick layers of clothing.

"Sorry," Castle said, looking not the least bit like he meant it, but releasing his hold from her anyway, although never breaking eye contact.

"Look at this, mommy!" Louis interrupted their little moment and held up a large icicle, "Look how big it is!"

He didn't seem to expect a reply as he turned around again and caught up with Alexis to show it to her as well.

Next thing Kate knew, was Castle's hand on her arm again. She looked up at him and watched him tucking her arm through his. "Just in case you slip again," he told her and waggled his eyebrows.

Yeah right. She was sure that was the least significant reason of them all, but she left her arm where it was, reveling in the warmth his body gave off.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Chapter 8**

It was a Thursday morning in early March and Castle sat at his desk, proof-reading the last chapter he had written for _Derrick Storm_. There was no way he could postpone it any further and he really didn't have an excuse for doing so. He had walked Alexis to school, done the dishes, checked his e-mails and actually replied to all of them, even to the ones from Gina, and now there was nothing left that could distract him any further.

Until his phone rang, that is. He inwardly did a little victory dance as he picked up. "Castle."

"Rick."

She didn't even have to use his first name in order for him to know something was wrong, terribly wrong. Until now Castle had not thought Kate Beckett was scared of anything, but here she was, sounding completely frightened. Frightened, desperate, tiny. None of those words were ones he'd ever use to describe her. Something wasn't right.

"Kate? What's wrong?" He got out of his chair and started pacing in his office, trying to get some of the nervous energy out of his system.

"Rick, I'm in trouble." She sounded breathless and Castle immediately grabbed his keys and wallet and made his way to the front door to don a jacket and a pair of shoes. "Where are you, Kate?"

"My apartment. But I need to get out of here," she told him frantically. He heard rustling and swishing in the background, like someone was heedlessly tossing clothes around.

"I'll be there in ten." And with that he hung up, raced down the stairs and got behind the wheel of his silver Mercedes. He sped out of the garage and floored the accelerator while in his head he spun theory after theory about what could have scared Kate this much, disliking one more than the other.

After ten long minutes and hitting three red lights, he finally arrived at her building and got a parking spot right in front of it. Locking his car, he raced up the stairs and knocked on her door, utterly out of breath. On the other side of the door he heard shallow breathing and shoe-clad feet scurrying over parquet flooring but nobody opened up.

"Kate? It's me, Castle," he knocked again, worried.

At last, the door opened a crack and he found himself staring into the barrel of a gun. Unable to move, he froze on the spot, his heart racing, until the door opened further and he came face to face with a very pale Kate Beckett.

"Jeez, Kate!"

He saw how she looked around in the hallway before quickly pulling him inside, throwing the door closed and sliding the chain in place with shaking hands. Looking around her apartment he noticed two large suitcases standing in the living room.

"What's going on? Are you alright? Is Louis okay?" He only now thought of the little boy and couldn't see him anywhere.

"He's fine," Kate answered curtly, holstering her gun. "But we need to get out of here. Castle, you always know a guy or a place, do you know somewhere where we can go and stay for a few days? Outside the city?" The desperation in her voice made it clear that she was in urgent need of a solution.

He didn't ask her anything further but simply provided one. "Come with me," he told her as he grabbed one of the suitcases.

Kate mirrored him and grabbed the other one while calling for her son. Louis quickly appeared, carrying a small backpack, and clung to his mother's side, confusion and fear written across his features.

Together, the trio locked Kate's apartment up and went downstairs to Castle's car. While Caste put the suitcases in the trunk, Kate buckled Louis in, constantly checking her surroundings, before getting in the passenger side.

Castle slid behind the wheel and started driving.

"Where are we going?" Kate asked him after a few minutes of silently looking into the rearview mirror.

"The Hamptons. I have a house there," and looking at the confused little boy in the backseat, he tried to distract him, "Have you ever been to the Hamptons, Louis?"

The boy shook his head.

"It's great. We live right by the ocean. And in case the water is still a little too cold, we can always use the heated pool." When the boy didn't react, Castle shot Kate a helpless look.

"Do you want to go swimming, Tiger?" Kate too tried to get her son to think about something else.

"Maybe," came his mumbled response.

Kate sighed and ran a frustrated hand through her hair. In a feeble attempt to console her, Castle took her left hand in his right and gave it an encouraging squeeze, as the last buildings of New York flew past their window and they turned onto the freeway.

Two hours of silent driving later, they finally arrived at Castle's mansion-like vacation home. Kate only got a quick glimpse of the large two-story house with its brown clapboards and white window shutters before Castle pulled into the garage. As Kate helped Louis out of the car, Castle grabbed the two suitcases and carried them up the three stairs that led from the garage into the kitchen. When his gaze fell on the clock on the wall and he saw that it was already past noon, he quickly excused himself to make a call and left a flabbergasted Kate and a wide-eyed Louis behind to take in the house themselves.

Just like the loft it was very stylish and modern with large windows through which Kate could see a tiny strip of ocean on the opposite side of the house.

Castle came back into the kitchen and took a deep breath, willing for the anxiety to go away. He kept telling himself that they are safe, now that they have left the city.

"Let me show you around," he offered and led them from the kitchen into the living area. He showed them his own private little library, a room which Kate immediately fell in love with, and led them upstairs where the bedrooms were situated.

"The first room is the master bedroom. This room," he pointed to the room next to his, "is mother's room."

He opened the third door on the corridor and they found themselves in an ocean-themed child's room. "This is Alexis' room, but you are welcome to come in here and play whenever you want, Louis, I'm sure she won't mind."

Opening the door opposite to that room, he looked at Kate. "I'll give you the largest guestroom. It has a huge tub in the en-suite," he told her with a wink, trying for some normalcy.

Kate took in her surroundings. The room was large and so was the king-sized bed in the middle of it. It looked simply heavenly.

"I assume, you are going to sleep with mommy tonight?" Castle asked the boy who still clutched Kate's hand tightly and nodded.

"Alright then, I'll bring you your suitcases and give you a minute to get settled." With that, Castle left the room, carried the heavy suitcases up the stairs and disappeared into the kitchen where he took another couple of calming breaths. He didn't know what to think of the situation. Was she in immediate danger? How serious was it? He was desperate for answers but didn't want to confront her about it in front of the scared little boy, who too, obviously had no idea what was going on and it didn't look like he would let go of his mother's hand any time soon.

Sighing, he opened the fridge and made a mental note that he needed to do some serious grocery shopping. Looking for something edible, he found a can of ravioli in one of the cupboards and started heating its contents.

Just as he divided the food up into three portions, Kate and Louis descended the stairs.

"This smells wonderful Castle, but you shouldn't have."

"Well, we need to eat. However, if we are going to stay here for a couple of days, we should go grocery shopping, I only have canned food and not much else."

"Castle, what do you mean 'we'?"

"Well, I ... Did you really think I was going to let you stay here by yourself after _that _call?", he asked her, disbelief written across his features. She couldn't be serious!

"No! No, Castle, I didn't mean to disrupt your-"

"You didn't disrupt anything. I was bored anyway," he shrugged nonchalantly.

"Bored? You were bored?! Do you think this is a jo-," her blaze of anger was interrupted by the whimpering child to her left.

"I'm sorry, Tiger, I shouldn't have yelled," she quickly apologized and ran a hand soothingly through his hair. "That wasn't right of me. But Rick and I need to discuss some things. Are you going to be okay on your own for a couple of minutes?"

The boy nodded quietly and Castle went into the living room to turn on the TV. "Want to watch some cartoons? Alexis loves these," he pointed to the flat screen where _Donald Duck _was currently throwing a fit.

While the boy hopped off his stool and sat down on the large couch, Castle and Kate went into the library and shut the door behind them.

"What I said earlier was stupid, Kate," he began. "I don't think this is a joke, quite the contrary. And that's why I'm not going to leave you and Louis by yourselves. I can't, and please don't ask that of me. I'm worried."

She could tell. It was written in the tensity of his back and the way he spoke, his jaw tight, his chin angled more sharply and his lips a little paler.

"What about Alexis?"

"Alexis has a sleepover today and my mother will stay at the loft with her for the next couple of days. I called her earlier, it's all settled. They'll be running lines together, she won't even notice that I'm gone," he tried to lighten the mood.

Kate still had her doubts, so he added, "Alexis knows that sometimes I have to leave for a couple of days to work, she'll understand. Believe me, it's fine."

Finally, Kate caved. "If you're sure, then ... thank you. Thank you so much, Rick."

He squeezed her upper arms and led her over to a large couch in front of a huge fire place in the middle of the room. He sat down and motioned for her to do the same. "Now, tell me, what's going on?"

She sat down and began fiddling with one of her cuticles in her lap as she began to recount what happened. "We got a case yesterday. I can't go into detail what it is about and what happened, but sometime during the afternoon I started getting weird calls. When I picked up all I heard was heavy breathing before the line went dead. I thought it was just some joker, you know teenagers who thought it'd be funny to muck the police around. I thought nothing of it. But then this morning, when I arrived at the precinct there was a letter for me. A threatening letter. If I didn't stop investigating the case, me and the people I loved would regret it. Along with that was a picture of me as I left the Precinct the night before." She swallowed hard and bit down on her bottom lip to stop it from trembling.

"Oh, Kate."

"This is the first time anything like that has ever happened to me, I've only been a Detective for a little over a year. My Captain thought it was a serious threat and took me off the case and I just freaked. If he takes me off a case, it really is serious. Normally I'm not one to back down, but I always have to think about Louis and how he'd have no one, if something ever were to happen to me. I took a full week off and picked up Louis from school, all the while I had this feeling someone was following me." She wiped away a traitorous tear that slowly made its way down her cheek.

Castle scooted closer and pulled her against his chest. "Nobody followed us. We both checked the rearview mirror all the time, nobody followed us. The car is parked in the garage and I don't usually come out here this time of the year. As far as everyone else is concerned, this house is vacant. Nobody knows to look here for you."

Pressed into his warm and solid chest, Kate believed him.

"I know this is pathetic, I know I shouldn't have run, I- it's just ...," she lost the battle against her tears and held a little tighter onto his shirt.

"It's just a little too much," Castle offered and felt her nod into his shoulder.

"And that's okay, Kate." He started to stroke her back soothingly. "Look at you, you are a mom, you are a Detective and you are still so very _young_. You were forced to deal with so many things at such a young age, none of which anyone should _ever _have to deal with and yet you still stand tall and are an amazing mother to an amazing child and bring closure to the families of victims every day. Giving in to your fears and having a little break-down from time to time doesn't make you anything less amazing. Everyone breaks down once in a while, even the best of us. Even me," he stage-whispered, which made Kate snort through her tears.

"I know, right? Unbelievable!" he joked with exasperated arrogance.

For that, Kate whacked him lightly in the chest and pulled back. "It's funny how you always seem to know what to say to make me feel better," she told him with a weak smile.

"And I mean what I said," Castle told her truthfully.

"Really?" It was out of her mouth before she could swallow the words down. She inwardly cursed herself. Give the man more reason to find her pathetic.

He gaped at her. Did she really not know how remarkable she is? "Kate," he waited until she looked him in the eye, "I'm in awe of you." His words were laced with pure honesty. "You are so unbelievably strong and passionate. You are so brave and confident and you never give in. I have no idea how you do it but I admire you for your fortitude. And yes, you are amazing."

Listening to his words caused another onrush of tears.

"Hey now, I was actually kinda hoping for a smile here," he quipped as he wiped away her tears with his thumb.

That elicited a small laugh from her.

"That's better," he grinned at her. "How about I go check on Louis and you come join us whenever you're ready? Then we'll discuss what we're having for dinner?"

He waited for her to nod before he left the library and went into the living room, where Louis was still sitting on the couch, watching cartoons.

"Hey buddy, are you okay? Do you want some juice? I think I saw some in the kitchen."

While Castle went to retrieve the juice, Louis kneeled, and leaned over the back of the couch to watch him.

"What's going on? Is mommy alright?", the boy asked him after taking a sip of the lukewarm apple juice.

Castle sat down on the back of the couch and considered him for a minute. He always tried to be as truthful as possible with children, yet not truthful enough to scare them. "I think your mom should tell you herself what's going on, but you should know, that as long as we're here, everything is okay. And yes, your mom is alright. She just needed a friend to talk to. She'll be out in a minute."

The boy nodded, happy with that answer.

"Do you want to take a look around outside? Take a look at that pool?"

"Yes, please." Louis quickly got off the couch and went over to the large glass doors that led to the patio and to the strip of sand behind that. Castle opened the doors and guided the seven-year-old outside. They went to the ocean and tested the water - it was freezing - so Castle led him around the house where the large pool was. He also showed him the large backyard where a jungle gym and a double swing were.

* * *

**Thoughts?**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

In the meanwhile, Kate was still in the library and tried to process everything that had just happened. She wasn't embarrassed about her outburst, Castle had looked like he was actually glad to be able to comfort her and hadn't looked bothered at all. It was the things he had said that needed to be processed. The 'you are amazing' still floated around in her head. No one had ever said anything like that to her before. Hearing those words had made her incredibly proud, it was the first time in a long time that she had been praised. Smiling at the memory of those words, she stood up and left the library in search for Castle and her son.

When she didn't find them inside, she went out on the patio, from where she could hear someone giggling. Following the cheerful sound, she turned to her left and walked around the house, where she found Castle pushing Louis on a swing in the backyard.

"There you are!" Castle greeted her. "Want me to push you as well or can you go as high as the clouds by yourself?", he pointed to the empty second swing with a cheeky grin.

"I think I can manage, Castle," Kate replied, rolling her eyes.

When she sat down on the unoccupied swing, Castle started pushing her nevertheless. "The one who can jump the farthest gets to choose what we are having for dinner tonight," he declared as he gave mother and son one final push.

Kate couldn't believe she was actually doing this, but she jumped. And landed a couple of inches behind Louis.

"I won mommy!"

"Yes you did, Tiger, you beat me!", Kate congratulated. "Now, what's for dinner?"

The boy looked from Kate to Castle and back to Kate. "Can we have fried calamari?"

Castle nodded in approval. "Sounds good to me. I'll make my way over to the small store down the street and get them. Is there anything else I could get while I'm at it?"

"Maybe some cookies, please? I really like cookies," Louis asked shyly and Kate was proud that he voiced his wish. He had always had trouble asking for things, especially from someone other than her.

"Cookies are mandatory! Are you two going to be okay by yourselves for the next half hour or so?"

Kate was glad he hadn't asked whether they would like to join him or not. Although she was pretty sure that nobody had followed them out to the Hamptons, she didn't feel comfortable to be out in public with her son after someone had threatened her. So she simply nodded and they made their way back into the house.

"Make yourselves at home, I'll be right back."

And with that Kate and Louis were left alone in the large house.

"Do you want to check out Alexis' toys while I read a little in the library?" Kate suggested.

She sauntered off to the library and took the room in fully for the first time. It was a very cozy room with long, dark bookshelves and a high ceiling. The dark couch in front of the large fireplace gave it a homey feeling.

She started walking around the room and let her gaze drift over the spines of the books. He had a lot of classics and also many plays. And she was sure she had spotted quite a few first editions along the way. A smile grazed her lips as she caught sight of a very old version of Leo Tolstoy's _Anna Karenina_. She had always loved that book, it always reminded her of the semester she'd spent in Kiev. Looking longingly at the comfortable couch in the middle of the room, she pulled the book out of the shelf and cozied up in front of the fireplace. A few minutes later, Louis joined her, one of Alexis' books in his hand. With her son by her side she let herself get lost in the world of Moscow in the 1870s.

That's how Rick found them when he returned with bags full of food.

"I knew you'd like this room," he smirked.

"You have great taste, Mr. Castle," Kate replied easily. "I've found about ten books I want to read."

"I'll leave you to it then and start dinner. Wanna help, Louis?"

"Yes!"

"I can help too," Kate protested and closed her book, already getting of the couch.

"Good choice," Castle told her as he saw the cover. "Just relax and continue reading, we boys got it." He winked at Louis and together they made their way into the kitchen to start with the calamari.

Smiling, she leant back and continued reading. She was glad Louis was bonding with Castle. The boy didn't have many men in his life he could look up to and be guided by, and Castle was a good role-model, she'd noticed as much.

The rest of the evening went by in a flash. Together, they enjoyed a meal of fried calamari and homemade fries. Days like those simply called for greasy food. Afterwards they played a game of _Monopoly_. Louis and Castle versus Kate. Of course she didn't stand a chance against the two of them. When Louis' eyes began drooping, she bid Castle goodnight and cuddled up with her son in the sensuously comfortable guest bed.

It was well past two in the morning when Castle too finally decided to go to bed. He had been up researching for his latest novel and had had lost track of time. Upon entering his bedroom, he decided to check up on his guests first. Maybe Kate was still up and needed something. He stood outside the closed door with his eyes shut and listened for a few seconds. He heard heavy breathing on the other side, accompanied with the occasional frightened moan and a shift on the mattress. After years of experience with Alexis, he knew the tell-tale signs of a nightmare. Just to be polite, he knocked silently on the door, but as a matter of course he didn't get an answer, so he cracked the door open and peered in. There he saw Kate Beckett on the bed, tensed up and writhing in her sleep, murmuring unintelligible syllables. He slowly made his way over to the bed and was glad to see Louis sleeping soundly. Castle softly shook Kate's shoulder and whispered her name in the dark. She snapped out of it immediately and jerked away from him, eyes wide, hands put up in defense.

"Kate, it's me."

"Castle?! What were you _thinking_?" she hissed, angry because he startled her.

"Shh," he pointed at the sleeping boy, "You were having a nightmare and judging from the sounds you made it was a pretty bad one," he told her softly.

She nodded as she vividly remembered her dream. Her sleep shirt was damp and her hands shook.

"Are you okay now? Or do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I'm fine," she told him as she softly ran a hand through Louis' hair, who still didn't stir.

Castle had a pretty good idea what her dream was about and gently squeezed her wrist, letting her know he'd be there if she needed someone to talk to.

"Goodnight then."

"Night, Castle."

The next morning, Castle awoke to the smell of scrambled eggs and sizzling bacon. Donning a robe, he followed the smell and found Kate in the kitchen, spatula in hand.

"Good morning. You're just on time, breakfast is almost ready," she told him with a smile.

"This smells amazing," Castle replied, inhaling the smell of freshly brewed coffee, "But you shouldn't have. You're my guest, you shouldn't have to work."

"No, please Castle, you have done so much for me, let me do something for you. This is nothing in comparison," she gestured at the eggs, the bacon and the waffles, "but it's-"

"It's great," Castle interrupted her. "Thank you."

"Listen, is there any news?" he asked her after checking that Louis wasn't in earshot.

"They are still running down leads. But my colleagues promised to call once they know more. I'll keep you in the loop," she promised him as she noticed Louis coming down the stairs, still wearing his pajama.

"Good morning, Tiger."

"Morning," the boy murmured while rubbing his eyes sleepily. When he saw the breakfast on the kitchen counter, his face split into a huge grin. "You made breakfast? Awesome!"

After they had appeased their hunger with Kate's delicious breakfast, Castle suggested they should enjoy the sunny weather and take a walk on the beach. The Becketts agreed and after everyone had dressed appropriately, Kate and Castle strolled along the edge of the water while Louis was running about picking up seashells and tossing them away again when they weren't big enough.

"He seems better," Castle nodded in the boy's direction.

"Yeah, he does. We had a little talk yesterday where I gave him the child-friendly version of what happened. He understands. And he also knows that we're safe here. Thanks to the large house and the beach he feels very at ease. I do too," she added with a small smile. "It's gorgeous here."

"I was very lucky to find this house with its private beach. Something that was very important to me."

"And why is that?" Kate asked him with a raised eyebrow, not sure she _really_ wanted to know. She could only think of one reason why someone would want a private beach, secluded from prying eyes.

Castle chuckled. He knew what she was thinking, but that was not the reason. "I wanted this property to be my ... sanctuary of sorts. I come here to escape the city, to escape my life as a novelist for a while. When I'm here I want to be myself, Alexis' slightly silly dad that builds sand castles and gets up to nonsense. If the press were to get wind of this ... well, there goes my image and the book sales."

Kate considered him for a moment. Only now she realized that she had no idea what it meant to be Richard Castle. "That must be difficult. Basically living two different lives?"

"It's not always easy, you're right. But it's so worth it. Thanks to my books I get to be a stay-at-home-dad. I'm very thankful for that."

To say Kate was surprised by his declaration was an understatement. Out of all things, he was thankful to get to stay at home with his little girl? She shook her head in disbelief. There really wasn't much of the playboy in him she'd read about in the papers so many times.

"What?" Castle wanted to know.

"Nothing," she smiled. "You're a great dad."

He beamed at her.

"Mommy! Look at this one," Louis ran over to her, holding a large conch shell in various brown and gold tones.

"You should hold it to your ear," Castle suggested. The boy looked at him questioningly but did it anyway.

"Do you hear that swooshing sound?"

The boy nodded.

"That's the ocean."

Fascinated, the boy held the shell away from his ear, looked at it, and pressed his ear into it again.

Castle stifled a smile. It has always taken him by surprise how children are mesmerized by the littlest things.

"I wish I could be _in_ the ocean," the little boy sighed, his shoulder slumped forwards.

"He loves the water," Kate explained. "Always has."

"We could go for a little swim in the ocean later on and when we're cold we can jump into the warm pool. Does that sound like fun?" Castle looked from Kate to Louis.

"I'm not sure I packed our swimsuits, Louis." Kate nibbled her lip. "I didn't think of it, I'm sorry."

"But I saw my swim trunks in my suitcase," Louis retorted.

"You did? I must have packed them without noticing. I know I didn't pack mine but you could always go swimming with Rick if he is willing to take you?", she looked at Castle, asking for confirmation.

"Oh, we are going to have so much fun, Louis," Castle grinned and rubbed his hands in anticipation and they began the long walk back to the house.

They walked in silence, each of them lost in thoughts. Castle thought of Alexis and how she would have loved to be here. She has always loved the Hamptons. It has barely been twenty-four hours but he already missed her terribly. He made a mental note to himself to call her after lunch. He knew she was in good hands with his mother but he needed to hear her voice.

When the house finally came into sight, he pointed at it and looked at both Becketts. "Race you!" And with that he was off. From the corner of his eye he saw Louis trying to catch up with him, but the wiry boy didn't stand a chance and just to impress Kate, who hadn't joined in in their foot race, a little, he ran as fast as he could.

The result of that was, that he was still trying to catch his breath when she finally arrived at the house, about three minutes later. She smirked at him and he tried to play it cool. "Even though we both know you're not faster than me, you could have at least made an effort," he said between two panting breaths, even managing a small, victorious smile.

"In your dreams, Castle," she told him whilst crossing her arms in front of her chest. "I can take you one-legged. And breathe normally afterwards," she added with a small laugh and Louis grinned too.

"What?" Castle let out a disbelieving laugh. Was she making fun of him? But before he could come up with something smart to say, Kate grabbed Louis' hand and walked him into the house to change him into his swim trunks.

When they returned, Castle was already ankle-deep into the water, gritting his teeth against the stinging coldness of the water. He heard Louis and Kate having a quick conversation but before he could turn around and chime in, the boy was already by his side, recoiling when a small wave hit his calves.

"Tell me when you're cold and we'll go into the pool, okay?"

Louis nodded and took a brave step forward, the water now hitting his knees.

"Think you can go all the way in?" Castle challenged and waded a little deeper into the water.

"Sure I can!" Louis exclaimed and followed him.

Soon the water reached just below his belly button and every time a little wave came, Louis jumped up, giggling.

"Are you ticklish?" Castle asked, already coming closer and wriggling his fingers in a tickling motion.

Louis took a step back, his arms protectively banded around his stomach. "No I'm not," he said with a grin and Castle lunged forward, attacking his sides with his fingers.

Louis shrieked and stumbled backwards, loosing his footing and going under. Not even a second later, he shot out of the water like a launching rocket, his brown hair plastered to his head.

"Oh, I think you are ticklish," Castle laughed and took the boys' hand to lead him out of the cold ocean and into the warm pool.

When he turned around, he saw Kate lounging in beach chair, a book leaning against her propped up knees. But she wasn't looking at the book, she was looking at him. When she noticed he caught her checking him out, she quickly dropped her head, her long hair like a curtain around her face.

Castle grinned to himself. Good to know that he wasn't the only one staring at someone else's butt in this house.

The distant ring of her cell phone brought his out of his reverie. He saw her picking it up and holding it to her ear, anxious at first but then the frown on her forehead smoothed and she started grinning. Walking a little quicker, he showed Louis to the pool and beckoned for Kate to join them, he wanted to know what got her all happy.

Kate jogged over to them and grinned. "That was Esposito, one of my partners from the 12th. They got the guy, he's currently sitting in lock up and signing his confession."

"Oh Kate, that's great, I'm so glad. That's a weight off my mind!" Without thinking, Castle pulled her into a bear hug.

"Castle!" she squeaked in return.

"What?" he asked confused and stepped back.

She pointed to her light blue sweater which was now wet in a few spots and stuck to her skin.

Castle's face split into a wide grin and he crushed her against his chest in another bear hug, trapping her slender arms with his bulky ones. "Well, since your clothes are already kind of wet, I'm sure you wouldn't mind them being dripping wet."

Kate knew what his intentions were. "Castle, don't you dare-," she threatened him, but her threat ended in a very girlish scream as Castle stepped over the edge of the pool with her pressed against his chest, and they fell in together.

She came up snorting and spluttering and shot him a glare. She'd pay him back for that, of that he was sure. But first she got back at her son who clung to the rim of the pool and laughed at the top of his voice.

"You think this is funny?" Kate slowly made her way over to him, glaring. She wasn't angry and Louis knew it, so he just kept shaking with laughter. She grabbed him around the waist and pulled him away from the rim into the middle of the pool. With all her force she heaved him into the air, and screaming with laughter, Louis fell backwards into the water.

Castle watched the whole interaction with fascination. It wasn't often that he got to see the playful side of Kate Beckett.

"You do realize you just ruined the only pair of sneakers I brought on this little ... trip?" she asked him and shook her head in disapproval. He knew she was trying to be angry with him, but the huge smile on her face let her feeble attempts fail miserably. "But you're right, the water has a pleasant temperature."

"I don't know, it kinda feels like someone peed in here," Louis crinkled his nose as he swam back to his mother.

Castle stared up at the sky and started to whistle innocently.

Kate had seen the mischievous sparkle in his eyes before he had averted his head and knew he was only kidding, but she was grossed-out anyway.

"Ugh, Castle, that's simply disgusting," she told him as she slapped his chest lightly and moved towards the ladder of the pool. All of a sudden swimming in the lukewarm water wasn't as appealing anymore.

"I was just kidding!" Castle tried to convince them to stay in the water but she ignored him. Louis followed her and she quickly began to towel him off. It was after all March, and even though the sun was shining, it was a little chilly, especially when you were wet. Castle followed suit and grabbed his own towel, only now realizing Kate didn't have one. He gave her his towel and asked Louis, the only one of them who was dry, to go into the house and get him another one.

"I think I'll need more than one towel, Castle," Kate pointed out. She had stepped out of her shoes and socks, but her pants were dripping. She'd need to wring them out if she didn't want to leave puddles everywhere she stepped.

"I have to admit I may not have completely thought this through as I shoved you in the pool," Castle told her with an apologetic grin.

"Really?" Kate deadpanned.

"Maybe you should just ... take them of?" Castle suggested, and pointed at the wet jeans as they clung tightly to her legs.

Kate snorted and shook her head incredulously. "And what do you dream about at night, Castle?"

He grinned at her with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Well ..."

"Don't answer that, forget I even asked." Kate held up one hand to stop him from finishing his sentence.

Castle chuckled and kept his inappropriate thoughts to himself just as Louis rejoined them with another large towel in his hands.

"No really, take off those clothes and put them in the laundry room, I'll put them in the dryer later. In the meantime, I'll just be upstairs." Castle slung his towel around his hips and made his way into the house, leaving Kate and Louis outside.

He took a quick shower to rid himself of the nasty pool water and quickly ran a towel through his hair before going downstairs and preparing a few sandwiches. Swimming was always tiring and even though they had had a hearty breakfast that morning, his stomach was grumbling.

Kate soon joined him behind the counter, her hair still a little damp, and started slicing the tomatoes Castle had gotten out of the fridge.

"Mommy?" Louis said slowly. "Everything is okay again, right?"

Kate momentarily paused. "Yes baby, everything is fine." She gave him a reassuring smile and Louis smiled back at her for a second before his face fell again.

"That means we are going back home," he stated flatly.

Kate reached over to lovingly run her hand through his hair. "We are."

"When?"

"I .. uhh," Kate looked at Castle for help. She hadn't really given it much thought. She didn't know if they were going back together or if Castle wanted to stay a couple more days by himself.

Castle caught her gaze and replied in place of her. "We could leave after lunch, if you have to be back in the city for some reason. But we could just as well stay the weekend. Unless you're on call? I could give mother and Alexis a call, send them a car and they could be here this afternoon."

At the mention of Alexis' name, Louis' eyes lit up.

"Actually my Captain forced me to take off the full week I had requested yesterday. But, uh, Castle, you don't have to do all of this." Kate nibbled her lip and bent her head for a quick second before catching his gaze again. "You already went through so much trouble because of us."

Castle shook his head. "It's no trouble, Kate. I haven't been out here in quite a while anyway and I am really enjoying myself. Alexis loves coming here as well. She would be thrilled." He gave her a quick smile while grabbing three plates from a shelf.

"If you're sure?"

"Absolutely."

"What do you think, Louis?" The question was unnecessary, Louis' grin said it all.

"I want Alexis to join us!"

Castle held his hand up in a high-five-gesture and Louis hand met his with a loud smack.

He grabbed his phone off the counter and excused himself. "I'll just call my mother and my car service."


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**I woke up to the sweetest reviews/PMs the other day, thank you very much!**

**Chapter 10**

While Castle was gone, Kate put the leftover ingredients back into the fridge and poured three large glasses of juice.

"They'll be here shortly before dinner," Castle announced as he strode back into the kitchen, grabbing one of the finished sandwiches. "And Alexis asked if you wanted to sleep in her room", he informed Louis.

The boy looked at his mother for permission; Kate only smiled and nodded.

"I'd love to," the boy exclaimed happily and took a sip of his juice.

"Alright then. We only have to set up the second bed."

And that's what they did after lunch. Kate took care of the dishes while Castle and Louis prepared the guest bed in Alexis' room.

Before they knew it, they heard the slam of two car doors and the ring of the doorbell. Together, they opened the door to reveal a grinning Alexis and a slightly exhausting looking Martha.

"Daddy!" The excited redhead leaped into his arms and Castle caught her just in time.

"Hey Pumpkin, I missed you," he murmured into her hair as he held her close.

With Alexis still holding onto his shoulders, he leaned down to give his mother an awkward kiss on the cheek. "Hi mother, thank you for joining us."

"Nonsense kiddo," the older redhead waved her hand in dismissal. "I'd never let the opportunity to come out here slip." Only now did she seem to notice Kate, and Louis, who held on tightly to his mother's hand and stood slightly behind her.

"And who do we have here?" Martha directed her question at Castle and gave him a chiding look for forgetting his manners.

"Ah, mother, this is Kate and her son Louis. Kate, Louis, this is my mother, Martha," Castle quickly introduced them.

Kate immediately liked the older woman as they shook hands. She had something warm and maternal about her that Kate felt drawn to.

"You are even more stunning than Richard told me," the older woman said warmly and and a blush crept into Kate's cheeks. Kate needed a minute to assimilate that information and didn't respond immediately but only turned her surprised eyes to Castle.

Sensing the slight awkwardness of the situation, he finally put Alexis down and grabbed the handles of the two suitcases Martha had brought along. "I'll just bring these upstairs," he told them and fled the scene.

"Alexis, why don't you tell Kate and Louis about what happened during recess today?", Martha suggested, as she too, went into the direction of the stairs. "I'll be right back." And with that, she quickly followed her son upstairs, while Alexis happily recited how they had found a tiny bunny in the school yard.

When Martha finally caught up to her son, she demanded for answers. "Richard, what is going on? Why are you here with Katherine and Louis?" And after a pause she added, "Are you two ...?" She didn't finish the sentence, but she didn't have to. Castle knew exactly what she was thinking when he saw the hopeful glint in his mother's eyes.

"No, mother!" he said emphatically, making it clear that nothing was going on between them. "Something happened at work and she got frightened, so she called me. I brought her and Louis here because it was safe."

Upon seeing the worried look his mother gave him, he reassured her quickly. "The threat was eliminated, there's nothing to worry about anymore. Otherwise I would not have asked you and Alexis to join us."

"Why exactly did you ask us to join you?" Martha asked him, slightly teasing. She knew there was something her son hadn't told her yet.

"We figured since we are already out here, we could as well make a mini-vacation out of it," Castle told her with a shrug of his shoulders, trying not to raise any suspicion.

"And?" Martha knew there was more to it.

"Fine," Castle sighed and gave in, he could never hide anything for long from his mother. "Over the last few days Kate and I talked a lot. She opened up to me and I finally got a glimpse of who she really is under that mask of hers she has put on. But I sense that there is still more to her. To her story. Unfortunately, with Louis around, interrupting our little talks or always being in earshot, she won't open up any further. I have the feeling that she doesn't really have anyone to talk to and she _wants_ to open up and let someone in but ..."

He stopped talking when he saw the flashbulb light up in Martha. "Ah," she said with a knowing smile. "You want me and Alexis to distract Louis, so you two can have some privacy."

"Would you, mother? This is really important to me. Kate is important to me."

"Of course, kiddo," Martha patted his cheek lovingly.

"Just to clarify, I do want to spend time with Alexis, and you of course," he added hastily, "but having half an hour to ourselves would be really nice."

"Don't worry, I'll make sure you have more than enough time," and with that, Martha turned around. "Come on, they're probably wondering where we are."

Together they descended the stairs and went into the kitchen where they found Alexis entertaining Kate and Louis. When Kate noticed them, she sent Castle a slightly worried look. They must have been upstairs for quite some time.

"What's for dinner, daddy?" Alexis asked.

"I thought I could go get some pizza. Everyone fine with that?" He was met with four enthusiastic faces. "There's this place nearby that makes the best pizzas in a ten mile radius," Castle explained as he grabbed his car keys, "But unfortunately they don't deliver. You have to pick up the food yourself. Do you want to join me, Kate, and pick out something for you and Louis?"

Kate hastily got off the barstool she had been occupying. "Eh, sure."

"My mother will watch Louis and Alexis, don't worry." Castle winked at his mother and Martha smiled back at him, already smitten with seven-year-old Louis.

Half a minute later, they were already out of the house and in the garage, but Castle was hesitating to open the door.

"Would you maybe want to walk to the restaurant? It's not even two miles and we've been stuck inside the house for days now."

"Taking a walk sounds like a good idea," Kate replied with a smile.

XXX

They were walking next to each other on the sidewalk, enjoying the last rays of sun on their faces, when Kate began to let her mind wander. She thought back to how Castle had just taken her and Louis in, without even knowing what exactly was going on, and how he hadn't asked for anything in return. Quite opposite, how he was even reluctant to let her make a big deal out of this.

Castle must have noticed her frowning because he nudged her with his elbow. "What's up?"

Kate took a deep breath. "I was just thinking," she side-stepped, not offering him any more.

"About?"

"About how I can repay you for everything you have done for me."

"But Kate, I told you, I don't want-"

She cut him off quickly. "I know you don't want anything in return. But I ...- How can I not give you anything back?" She was beginning to be frustrated with herself. Why couldn't she simply accept what he had done for them? Why did she feel like she had to make it up to him?

"Do you really want to do something for me?"

"Yes! Please!"

"Alright," Castle sighed. "There is something you could do for me. I know it's a lot to ask for, and you don't have to ..."

"Castle, what is it?"

"Have you been reading the papers for the last couple of months? Specifically Page Six?"

Kate shot him a confused look and shook her head.

"If you had, you would have known that last spring, after six months of being engaged, Gina broke up with me."

"Gina? Your-"

"My publisher, yes."

Kate was stunned. She was a fan of Castle's book but she had never had the time to keep track of his personal life. She couldn't believe she had missed the announcement of their engagement and their break-up! It must have been plastered all over the tabloids.

She shot Castle an apologetic look but didn't really know where he was going with this. What did his ex-fiancée have to do with anything?

"After the break-up, I didn't really feel like going out," Castle went on. "Paula, my agent, has been fine with that for a while. But the past couple of months she has been pressuring me to go out again. I went to public events twice this year and both times were a disaster. You see, I have two choices," he explained to her. "I can either go alone, only to have women throwing themselves at me, making a show of being seen with me. Which is so obnoxious by the way," he shook his head in disbelief, "Or I can go with someone. But do you know how hard it is to find a date, that wants to go out with you because of who you are, not because of who the papers state you are?"

Now Kate got a faint idea of what he was going to ask her, and all of a sudden she wasn't so eager to repay him anymore.

"What I'm saying is, next weekend I got invited to attend a gala opening and I have already confirmed that I'm going. I really don't want to go alone, but I also don't want to go with someone who doesn't really care about me." He took a deep breath before turning his head and looking at her. "Kate, I would love for you to go with me."

She had expected him to say that, yet, when he finally did, she sucked in a startled breath. She looked at him hesitantly. She didn't fit into his world at all, she had never been to a gala opening and didn't know what to expect of one.

Noticing her gaze, Castle smiled at her. "As I said, you don't have to, it was just a thought. I'm sure I'll think of something else, if you still really want to pay me back."

"As whom would you introduce me?" she asked after her heart had finally stopped fluttering wildly in her chest.

Castle thought about that for a second. He would love to introduce her as his date, but he didn't think she was ready for that yet. "As a friend who is interested in art," he told her instead.

Kate knew she wasn't completely able to mask her disappointment. A little insecure, she told him she would think about it.

They had finally arrived at the restaurant and while they ordered their pizzas and waited for them to finish, Kate went back to feeling disappointed. _'_A friend who is interested in art', really? He was _the_ Richard Castle, and she was just Kate Beckett, homicide Detective, but some small part of her had really hoped ... What had she hoped? That Richard Castle would be interested in being more than just friends? That Richard Castle saw more in her than a cop and a single mother? She snorted at her own ridiculousness.

The pizzas arrived and Castle paid for them, while she gathered the boxes in her arms. With the smell of freshly baked pizza in their noses, they quickly made their way back home, where they were greeted by an overly excited Alexis.

"Pizza is here! Grams, Louis, the pizza is here!"

They settled down at the dining table which had already been set by Louis and Alexis. They dug in and had light conversation. Alexis told them again about the bunny in the school yard and how she and her grandmother had run lines all day long, and Martha was still convinced Alexis would be great on Broadway.

After dinner, Martha excused herself. Friends of hers lived in the Hamptons and since she hadn't seen them in a while, she decided to drop by. That left Castle and Kate with the two children. They decided to play _Chutes And Ladders_, Alexis' favorite board game. After the exhausting day the girl had had, her eyes began drooping quite soon, though, and they decided to put the kids to bed.

Alexis was sitting on her bed, dressed in a frilly purple nightgown, with Castle sitting behind her, struggling with her red hair as he tried to put it into two side braids, when Kate and a pajama-clad Louis entered the room.

Louis crawled under the covers of the guest bed while Kate watched Castle with amusement. "What are you doing?"

"Alexis wants to have wavy hair in the morning, so I'm putting her hair into two side brides," he explained to her, while Alexis nodded her head and Castle lost hold of one of the strands.

He groaned and tried to pick up the strand without having to let go of the other two.

"Wouldn't it make more sense to put the hair into two French braids if you want to have wavy hair?" Kate asked and Castle shot her a frustrated look.

"Daddy can't do French braids, he's barely mastered a normal one," Alexis explained.

"Give me some credit," Castle grumbled behind her, "I never had to deal with hair before. And do you know how fine your hair is? And how large my hands are?" Castle wiggled his fingers in front of Alexis' face, making her giggle.

"Move over," Kate told him, as she too sat down on the bed. Castle let go of the fiery red hair and made space for her. Expertly, Kate parted Alexis' hair down the middle and with nimble fingers began the first French braid.

In the mean time, Castle went over to one of Alexis' bookshelves and grabbed a book.

"A bedtime story, yes!" Alexis cheered. Castle watched in fascination how Kate didn't even seem to notice that the girl had moved her head, and continued to braid untroubledly.

He sat down on Louis' bed and began to read in his rich voice. He was halfway through the story, when Kate finished with the second braid. Alexis leaned back into her chest and looked up at her with a grateful smile. Kate smiled back at her and made herself comfortable against the headboard. Slightly hesitant, the little girl leaned back against her, not knowing if she was allowed to do that. Reassuring her, Kate pulled her more firmly into the vee of her legs and started to stroke her shoulder and upper arm. Gratefully, the little girl rested her head high on Kate's stomach, and continued to listen to her father's calming voice.

Closing the book with a soft thud, Castle looked up to see his daughter falling asleep against Kate and smiled at the lovely picture they made. He rubbed Louis' back once more before getting up and helping Kate extricate from behind Alexis without disturbing the sleepy girl too much. While he dropped a kiss against Alexis' forehead, Kate sat down on Louis' bed and wished him sweet dreams.

They whispered their final goodnights into the darkness of the room, before closing the door and Kate had to smile at the domesticity of it all.

In the hallway she bid Castle goodnight and turned to leave.

"What? No goodnight kiss for me?" Castle joked and dramatically placed a hand over his heart, feigning to be hurt by her actions, or rather, inactions.

She turned back to him with a saucy grin. "In your dreams."

"In my dreams," Castle retorted, recovering fairly quickly from his dramatic climax, "you-"

Kate hastily covered his mouth with her palm, effecitvely shutting him up before slipping away into her room.

A little confused she went to brush her teeth. What was it with all the innuendo but only wanting to introduce her as a friend, if she were to accompany him to the gala opening? Shaking her head, she tried to rid her mind of his mixed messages and curled up in her bed with Castle's copy of _Anna Karenina_.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Just didn't have the heart to split this into two chapters, sorry for the ridiculous length of it ;) Let me know what you think?**

**Chapter 11**

The next morning Kate awoke fairly early to the giggling of two little children. Groaning, she rolled over and tried to go back to sleep, but failed miserably when the giggling didn't stop. Finally, she decided to probe the causes of those joyful sounds and got out of bed. She cracked the door to Alexis' room open and smiled at what she saw. Alexis and Louis were lying on Alexis' bed, belly down, thumbing through a book.

"Good morning you two," she said with a smile. Both kids whipped their heads around, and Louis immediately got off the bed when he saw his mother standing in the doorway.

"Morning, mommy," he said with a large grin as he wrapped his arms around her middle.

"Morning Tiger. Did you sleep well?" she asked him, pressing a kiss into his hair.

The boy nodded and dragged her over to the bed, where he flopped down next to Alexis again.

"What are you two doing?"

The redhead held up the book they had been looking at. "We're too tired to read so we've been making up stories to the pictures."

"Do you want me to read it to you?" Kate offered.

Louis immediately scooted to one side of the bed and patted the space between him and Alexis.

Kate gracefully wriggled herself in-between the children and started reading.

That's how Castle found them twenty minutes later. Lucky for him, their backs faced him, so they didn't notice him sneaking up behind them. He grabbed Alexis' ankles and gave them a sharp tug, pulling the girl down the bed a few inches. She shrieked in surprise and delight and grabbed onto Kate's forearm for help.

"Daddy!" Alexis scolded him, laughing all the while.

Castle too squeezed himself onto the bed, almost pushing Louis off and squishing Alexis in the process.

"You're too big, daddy," Alexis giggled. Castle grabbed her ankle once more and pulled it over his back. Alexis got the message and rolled onto his back, leaning her head on his shoulder, while he scooted closer to one side of the bed, so Kate and Louis had a little more space. He closed his eyes and listened to Kate's melodic voice as she finished the story without any further interruptions.

"Thank you, Kate," Alexis told her, after Kate closed the book.

"You're welcome," she smiled at the girl who was still lying on her dad's back. "Do you want to see how that waves turned out?" Kate motioned to the two braids adorning the girl's hair.

Alexis sat up and crawled towards the end of the bed, so they could have a little more space. Kate scooted up behind her and started to loosen the braids, fluffing the hair slightly. When she was finished, Alexis had closed her eyes in pleasure and sighed deeply.

"You like that, don't you?"

The girl nodded. "It's nice. And you don't tweak my hair."

"Yeah well, I try," Kate laughed.

"I do too!" Castle pouted, knowing the comment about tweaking her hair was meant for him.

"I know, daddy." Alexis smiled at him, still enjoying the feeling of Kate's slender fingers in her hair.

Castle smiled back at her before getting off the bed. "Wanna help me make breakfast, Louis?" The boy seemed glad to be able to escape the hair-talk and followed Castle out of the room.

"How do the waves look?" Alexis asked Kate after the boys left.

"I think they're beautiful," Kate told her while twirling a strand of red hair.

"Do they look like yours?"

Kate touched her own hair that curled just above her shoulders. "Not really, no. Were you hoping they looked like my curls?"

Suddenly shy, the redhead nodded her head and started to play with the frilly hem of her nightgown, not meeting Kate's gaze.

"I know just the thing," Kate told her, not giving her the chance to be insecure any longer. "We can try a different hairstyle tonight and hopefully tomorrow you'll wake up with curls like mine."

"Really?", Alexis looked at her hopefully.

"Really," Kate stated. She got off the bed and held her hand out to Alexis. "Come on, let's check on the boys before they burn down the house."

Giggling, Alexis accepted her hand.

Hand in hand, they walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. When they entered, Castle looked up and froze. He eyed Kate up and down before his eyes widened comically.

"That is so hot," he exclaimed, the filter between his brain and mouth clearly non-existent.

A little confused, Kate looked down at herself. She was wearing an oversized t-shirt and yoga shorts. There was nothing special about it, except ...

"You a fan?" she asked him, motioning to the _Green Lantern _logo printed on her shirt.

"He's a mega-fan," Alexis stage-whispered and Kate had to bite back a grin.

"Totally true," Castle agreed with his daughter while nodding earnestly. "Please tell me you are a fan too?"

"I am a fan," Kate admitted, adhering to her love of comic books.

At that point, Castle turned away from her and bit his fist to prevent him from saying something totally inappropriate.

Kate shook her head but smiled nevertheless, and took the spatula Castle had dropped on the counter, turning to the beacon right on time before it crumbled to ashes.

Without having to ask for it, Alexis and Louis got out plates and silverware and Castle put some toast in the toaster. They had just taken a seat at the table when Martha descended the stairs.

"Just on time, mother," Castle greeted her and got another plate from the shelf.

"Good morning, kiddos," Martha greeted them as she helped herself to a slice of toast. "What's your plan for today?"

"Can we go swimming?" Alexis immediately asked. It had been a while since she had been to the Hamptons and she was a water lover.

"Of course we can," Castle told her. "Even though I really want to go to the farmer's market today. I figured I could make ratatouille for dinner but I need some fresh vegetables for that."

"That's a brilliant idea, Richard!" And turning to Kate, Martha gave her a conspirational wink, "The farmer's market is beautiful. The only place where I go grocery shopping voluntarily."

"Can I go with you daddy? I like the farmer's market, too," Alexis asked after swallowing a bite of bacon.

"Sure thing, Pumpkin. Kate, Louis, do you too want to join us?"

"We would love to," Kate nodded, not even asking her son. Louis didn't like grocery shopping but they all needed to get out of the house they've been stuck in for the past two days.

After breakfast, they did the dishes together and got into Castle's Mercedes. The drive to the farmer's market was short, and when Kate got out of the car, she had to agree with Martha. The market was beautiful. There were over two dozen different stands with the brightest colored fruits and vegetables Kate had ever seen. Bright red tomatoes, dark green cucumbers and deep purple eggplants everywhere. A bunch of people were already digging their way between the stands, but it wasn't too crowded.

Castle put on a pair of sunglasses to protect his eyes from the harsh rays of the morning sun and placed a hand on the small of Kate's back to lead her into the center of the market area.

Due to the bright sun it was relatively warm and that morning Kate had decided to only wear a thin, white tunic. Yet, when Castle placed his hand on her back, she cursed herself for wearing something this thin. The warmth of his palm easily seeped through the fabric and left her lower back scorching. She took a deep, calming breath and forced herself to relax.

Luckily, Castle soon found a stand that sold beautiful peppers and tomatoes and needed both hands to pay for the food and to carry the bags. While he was occupied, Kate spotted another stand nearby that sold a variety of berries.

"Hey Alexis, what is your favorite berry?"

"I like raspberries and strawberries," the redhead replied, playing with a strand of her now curly hair.

Kate suddenly had an idea. "Do you like raspberry tarts?"

"Are you going to bake one mommy?" Louis asked, excitedly rolling on the balls of his feet.

Kate only nodded and smiled. "Come on." She reached for both of their hands and went over to the stand where she bought a pound of fresh raspberries.

She had just tucked her wallet back into her purse when a flustered Castle ran up to them.

"Jeez! Lucky for me my daughter is easy to spot in a crowd. Or else I might have thought I lost you!" Kate could tell he wasn't really mad, he just had a slight scare, but she felt guilty anyway. She hadn't thought of Castle at all when she took the children to the raspberry stand.

"Oh no, Castle, I'm so sorry," she gasped. She really was but Castle waved her off. He took her left arm and linked it with his right. With his own left, he grabbed Louis' hand. "You two are hard to spot in a crowd, I'm not letting go of either of you," he told the two Becketts and steered them towards the next stand.

Kate smiled at his silly antics and held her own hand out for Alexis to take. The little girl gladly accepted and together, they made their way across the market.

They stopped at one more stand to buy eggplants and fresh herbs and Castle proudly managed to pay for the food without having to let go of either Louis or Kate. He got a funny look from the chubby woman behind the stand but he simply smiled at her and held onto Louis' hand a little tighter.

They slowly made their way back to the car and received a lot of appreciative nods and smiles from strangers along the way. To an onlooker they must look like an intact, happy family. A thought that left Kate slightly wistful. She wanted nothing more than to give Louis a family. A real family. With two adults that loved him.

As soon as Castle parked the car in the garage, Alexis sprinted through the kitchen and up the stairs to change into her bathing suit.

"Is it okay with you if I take the kids swimming?" Castle asked Kate as they too got into the kitchen to store away the groceries. "I wish I knew where my mother was so she could keep you company."

"Castle, please, I'm sure Martha has better things to do. And I don't need someone to keep me company, I will just get started on my tart." The last thing she wanted was for Martha to be forced to deal with her. She was a big girl, she didn't constantly need someone around to keep her occupied.

"Alright, just yell if you can't find something. Butter and eggs should be in the refrigerator and sugar is in that cabinet over there," Castle pointed to one.

"Thank you. Now, go have fun," Kate shooed him out of the kitchen and started to gather the ingredients for the batter.

Twenty minutes later, Kate put the cake base into the fridge to let it chill. Taking off her socks, she rolled up the legs of her jeans and went out of the house and started walking down the strip of beach, into the water. It was still freezing but she didn't mind too much. She walked calf-deep into the water and was quickly joined by Alexis who fearlessly ran into the water until it reached her waist.

"I like the beach better than the pool, but daddy is so squeamish when it comes to cold water," the girl explained to her, obviously happy that now Kate was here to supervise her in the ocean.

Kate laughed softly. "I guess that once more proves that women are tougher than men, huh?"

"Definitely," Alexis nodded and took another step, the water now reaching her belly button. "Is the tart finished already?"

"No, not yet. The cake base needs to chill for another half hour or so. Afterwards I'll put the raspberries on top and then it'll go into the oven. It'll be ready in an hour or so."

"Can I help you?" Alexis asked, somewhat shy all of a sudden.

"Of course, I'd love some help. In fact, we could probably start washing the raspberries already." Kate was glad the girl had offered her help, she was getting a little bored in the kitchen all by herself.

Alexis sprinted out of the water, splashing the ice cold water around in the process. Kate loved the enthusiasm of the little girl, even when it meant that she got a little wet because of it. She checked in with Castle and Louis, while Alexis dried herself with a towel.

Kate stood at the brim of the pool and watched proudly as Louis took a deep breath and dove into the water to gather up a diving ring. When he appeared again, he triumphantly held the red ring up.

"Mommy, Rick is teaching me how to dive!" He swam over to her, grinning widely and obviously very pleased with himself.

"That sounds like a lot of fun, Rick surely is a good teacher."

"He is. He can hold his breath really long." Louis expression was one of awe and Kate had to smile at the fact that her son had a little boy crush on Castle.

Kate mouthed a 'thank you' to Castle and went to find Alexis. She found her in the kitchen, wrapped in a fluffy pink bathrobe. "You ready?"

"Yes! And I have already washed my hands!" the girl wriggled her fingers in front of her and Kate gave one of her, now straight again, strands of red hair a soft tug.

Together they put the raspberries into a sieve and Kate showed Alexis how to wash them. Alexis was willing to learn and did everything Kate told her to the best of her ability. Soon, the cake base was chilled enough and they pressed it into a cake dish. They put the raspberries on top and sprinkled it with sugar before putting it into the oven.

"This is going to be one amazing cake," Kate announced. "And all because you helped." She lovingly tweaked the girl's nose, making her giggle.

Kate had just finished cleaning the kitchen when Martha walked in.

"Katherine, Dear, I'm so glad I found you. I was just looking for."

"Oh?"

"I got something for you," the older redhead motioned for her to follow her up the stairs. A little confused, Kate and Alexis did as asked.

"I was just cleaning out my closet, when I found this," Martha held up a black swimsuit when Kate entered her room. "Richard told me you didn't pack one and I just found this by accident. I've never worn it because it's clearly not my size, but it looks like it might fit you."

Martha didn't tell her that instead of cleaning out her closet, she had been specifically looking for that piece of clothing all morning.

Before Kate could respond, Alexis started to squeal and basically tackled her grandmother. "Thank you grams, now Kate can go swimming with us!" The girl grabbed the black swimsuit and chucked it to Kate who caught it skillfully.

It was apparent that she didn't have much of a choice, so she grabbed the piece of clothing, thanked Martha and went into her own bedroom to change. Martha had been right, the suit fit her like a glove. It was a simple, black suit, not overly sexy, but Kate was glad about that. She quickly grabbed a towel off the rack in her bathroom, wrapped it around her waist and found Alexis waiting for her in the hallway. Together they went to the pool, where Alexis immediately dropped her robe and jumped in. While Castle and Louis welcomed the eight-year-old back, Kate dropped the towel onto a beach chair and went to the stairs of the pool. As she took her first step into the water, Castle finally noticed her and his response to seeing her in a swimsuit was quite comical. His jaw actually dropped a few inches as he let his gaze travel up and down her body unashamedly, and Kate sucked in her stomach a little, just for good measure.

When she was waist-deep into the water, he was still staring at what was visible of her above the waterline, and she finally faltered a little under his obtrusive gaze. A soft blush crept into her cheeks and she raised one eyebrow at him. "Castle?"

That seemed to snap him out of his reverie. "Uhh ... eh, sorry. I'm glad you could join us," he stammered, quickly averting his gaze.

"Grams found her the swimsuit," Alexis told him, as she clung to him.

"I'm glad," he said with a strain to his voice, not sounding fully convinced to Kate's ears.

They spent the rest of the day swimming, eating the raspberry tart, for which Kate and Alexis got many compliments, and preparing the ratatouille with Castle without any further ... incidents similar to the one in the pool. It had taken both adults a couple of minutes to be fully comfortable around each other again, but when they finally were again, they had taken turns diving for the diving ring, and playing games with the children.

When it was bedtime, Kate remembered the promise she had made Alexis in the morning. She sat down on the girl's bed and patted the space in the vee of her legs, motioning for the girl to sit down. Alexis complied and Kate once again parted her hair. But his time she twisted it into two buns, one on each side of her head. When she secured each of them with an elastic, she asked the girl to turn around. Kate grinned at the sight of Alexis.

"You kind of look like Princess Leia from _Star Wars_, only with red hair."

Upon hearing that, Castle sucked in a breath, and clamped a hand in front of his mouth in a very girly manner. "You know _Star Wars_?"

"Who doesn't?" Kate retorted.

"That is so ...," he seemed to be at a loss for words, so Kate helped him out, remembering their similar conversation earlier that morning. "Hot?", she offered with an eyebrow raised in amusement.

"Yes, _so _hot," Castle agreed.

Kate shook her head and got off the bed to tuck her son in. "Sleep tight, Tiger," she told him and pressed a kiss to his forehead. Castle too wished his daughter a good night and squeezed Louis' foot upon leaving the room.

Castle pulled the door closed and turned to Kate in the hallway. "Would you like a glass of wine? Since my mother is out again, we both can actually have more than just a sip."

"I'm sure your mother isn't that bad," Kate laughed. "And yes, please."

Castle poured them both a glass, but before they could make themselves comfortable on the couch, his phone rang. Checking the display, he groaned. "Gina," he explained. "She's been bugging me all week. I should really take this, I'm sorry."

To give him some privacy, Kate went into the library, pulled a book out of a shelf and sat down along the length of the couch, crossing her ankles.

Only a few minutes later, Castle entered. "Mind if I join you?"

"Castle, this is your house, you don't have to ask for permission," Kate reminded him and shifted to place her feet on the ground and make some space for Castle. But he was faster and grabbed her feet, only to place them in his lap after sitting down.

"Everything alright with Gina?" she dared to ask, trying not to interpret too much into the position they were currently sitting in.

He nodded. "She just called to remind me I have a deadline." After a pause, he added, "Listen, I just wanted to properly thank you for doing Alexis' hair, she really looks up to you."

"No problem, I enjoy doing her hair, she seems to, too."

Castle nodded again. "It means a lot to her."

Kate sensed the opportunity to finally find out more about the girl's mother. "Castle," she began hesitantly, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but why does it mean so much to Alexis if someone braids her hair?"

Sighing, Castle began playing with the hem of her sock, something Kate chose to ignore as well. "Her mother, Meredith, lives in L.A., has been since Alexis was two years old. She has never been around very much, so Alexis was always jealous of other girls her age that wore a different hairstyle to kindergarten or school every day. I really tried," he smiled wistfully, "But it's just not in my genes. I mastered pigtails and simple braids, but everything beyond that just overexerts me." He sighed in frustration and stared down at his large hands and broad fingers.

"You're a good dad," Kate squeezed his hand. "It's admirable that you even tried, I'm sure she appreciates that very much."

There was a short pause before Castle spoke up again. "Now you know all my deepest, darkest secrets," he chuckled sadly, referring to his two failed relationships. "Tell me one of yours. What about Louis' dad?"

Kate took a deep breath, she knew this had been coming, yet she didn't know how much to tell him. "Do you want the whole story or just the short version?"

"Whatever you are comfortable with."

She considered him for a moment before making a decision. "I was nineteen when something happened," she started. "It's the reason I became a cop actually." She reached under her sweater and pulled a chain out with an engagement ring attached to it. "My mother was murdered, Castle. She was stabbed." Kate fiddled with the ring around her neck, while Castle processed what he had just learned.

"Kate ...," he started, but she shook her head to stop him. She'd never go through with it if he started comforting her now, and the tears she's battling with, everytime she tells someone about her mother, would win.

"I lived in California at the time but I quit college and moved back to New York where I joined the Force and buried myself in work. I was fine by day, I focused on work and didn't allow myself to think about anything else. But when I came home ... there was no way to stop the onslaught of memories and I so desperately wanted to just _forget_, you know?" She kept playing with the ring around her neck and took a deep breath.

Castle nodded sympathetically and rubbed soothing circles around her ankle.

Nibbling her bottom lip, she continued, "I was never one to sleep around, but I met someone at the Academy and we hooked up." She shook her head at the memory. "We had a purely physical relationship, just sex, no strings attached. I was in a bad place at the time and I must have forgotten to take my pill one day or something, because after a couple of months I noticed I was late, really late. I took a test and found out I was pregnant. I told the guy - David - but he wanted none of it. He didn't care and said I should do what I felt was right, so I decided to become a single mom. And it was the best decision of my life," she told him with a teary smile and finally met his gaze again.

"I bet it was, Louis is wonderful." There was so much compassion in the way he looked at her, a lump formed in her throat. She had made the right decision in telling him. He understood and didn't pry about it. He let her choose how much she wanted to tell him and didn't question her motives, something she was eternally grateful for.

"And now you know my deepest, darkest secrets," she repeated his earlier words, after she had let her words sink in.

"Thank you for telling me," he told her softly, still rubbing her ankle.

Kate only nodded, she was too churned up inside to say anything without starting to cry.

Castle sensed that she needed a minute to compose herself, so he got off the couch. "This calls for a hot chocolate!"

Kate tucked the ring back under her sweater and ran a hand over her face, willing the tears to go away. She took a couple of deep breaths and the lump in her throat slowly shrunk. As promised, only a few minutes later, Castle was back with two steaming mugs. He gave her one and lighted the fireplace before sitting down next to her and wrapping a large blanket around both of them. He silently pulled her into his side and as she rested her head on his shoulder, they both let their minds wander.

She was glad she told Castle about her mother, not many people knew, and only very few knew because Kate had chosen to actually tell them. She was also glad that he knew about Louis' dad, maybe now he could understand better why it meant so much to her that he and Louis spent time together and the boy identified himself with him.

"You know, you truly are amazing," Castle broke the silence all of a sudden.

"If I am so amazing, why won't you introduce me as your date?" Kate mumbled into his shoulder, still absorbed in thought and not filtering what she was saying.

Only when Castle stiffened and moved away from her so he could get a glimpse of her face, she thought about what had just come out of her mouth. Her eyes went wide as she replayed the words.

Castle probably looked just as shocked as her and she mentally slapped herself for being so foolish and letting unfiltered words tumble out of her mouth.

"Is that what you want?" Castle asked her after he regained the ability to speak.

"Castle, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-," she started to move away from him, her cheeks hot, but he held onto both her shoulders and stopped her movements.

"Is that what you want?", he repeated, his face unreadable.

_Now or never_, she thought and nodded, her cheeks getting even hotter with her admission. "Yes," it was barely above a whisper but Castle understood nevertheless.

He was so relieved he actually laughed as he pulled her against his chest.

"I would love nothing more Kate, believe me," he said with emphasis, his eyes crinkling with joy. "I just didn't know if you were ready for that, yet."

"I didn't either," she blinked up at him, still a little stunned, "But I am."

"So it's a date?" Castle grinned widely.

"It's a date," Kate confirmed, a shy smile spreading across her face.

"There is something else I would love," Castle told her, still holding her against his chest, his gaze flirting down to her lips and up to her eyes again.

"And what is that?" She had a pretty good idea what he was talking about and surprisingly wasn't opposed to it at all. Quite the opposite actually, she wanted him to kiss her.

And he did. Instead of answering her question, he showed her. Cradling her cheek in one hand, he slowly leaned forward, still giving her an out, but continuing to close the distance when her eyes fluttered closed in anticipation. His warm lips were nothing more than a soft glide against hers. Soft and tender. In fact, the whole kiss was so painfully tender that it made her heart ache and swell for the man and his empathy. Way too soon, he pulled away from her, searching her eyes, looking for confirmation that she was alright with this.

She was more than so, but a little too breathless to voice it. Greedily sucking oxygen into her lungs, she stared into the midnight blue of his eyes. What had she ever done to deserve a chance like this?

"I loved that too," she told him, when her mind allowed her to form coherent sentences again.

"Does that mean I get to do this now?" he asked her, his voice full of hope and wonder that they had actually made it this far.

"Suit yourself." She tried to say it nonchalantly, trying to give the impression that this simple kiss did not just knock her out of her stride, but her face betrayed her. Everything about her eyes, the flush on her cheeks and her soft smile practically screamed "whenever you want". He saw it too and pressed his lips to hers once more, a little firmer this time, and the hand that was not cradling her cheek, tangled in her hair while his lips worked on hers.

This time she was the one to pull away. She leaned her forehead against his and grinned widely. "I really loved that."

"Me too," Castle grinned back. "But come on, it's late, let's go to bed. The children are early risers and very active, we can't afford to be unrested."

He quenched the fire while she carried the empty mugs and wine glasses into the kitchen. He found her in the semi-darkness and led her upstairs with his hand on the small of her back, a gesture she loved. At the top of the stairs he gave her one last kiss before walking into his bedroom and closing the door.

With her lips still tingling, Kate stared at herself in the bathroom mirror and shook her head hopelessly at what she saw. _It was just a kiss_, she kept telling herself. Three kisses actually. Three kisses full of promise and hope. She rolled her eyes at herself. _Was she seventeen or twenty-seven?_ After brushing her teeth and changing into her sleep wear, she crawled under the covers of her bed and told herself to go to sleep, willing the butterflies in her belly to do the same.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Thanks to my dear friend M this story finally has a worthy cover!**

**Chapter 12**

She woke early the next morning when she felt a weight dip into the mattress behind her. Groaning, she turned her head and cracked one eye open, fully expecting to find Louis there, having awoken from a nightmare. But instead, her gaze fell on dark blue eyes and a very goofy grin. Groaning once more, she let her head fall back onto the pillow again.

"Castle, what are you doing in my bed?" she asked with her eyes closed, not ready to let go of her last remnants of sleep just yet.

"Doing something I can do now," he replied somewhat mysteriously with a hint of humor in his voice.

When she didn't react he started playing with a strand of her hair. "Do you want to know what that is?" he asked, leaning over her so he could see her face.

"No," she grumbled and squeezed her eyes closed.

"You're cute when you just woke up."

This time, Kate opened her eyes to glare at him. It was a sleepy glare that didn't have the effect she hoped it would. "Castle, get out of my room," she demanded and made a half-heartedly shooing motion with her arm.

"But don't you want to know what I woke you for?" he pouted.

"Fine." She actually still didn't want to know, but figured this was the only way to get him out of her room and catch another half hour of sleep before the kids awoke.

"I woke you, so I could steal a good morning kiss." He leaned closer to her face, still grinning that goofy grin.

Kate wanted to be angry at him for waking her up this early, she really did, but when she saw his hopeful expression and the grin, she just couldn't. She rolled onto her back and started running a hand through his disheveled hair, that was just as soft as she had always imagined it to be.

"This kiss better be worth waking me at seven on a Sunday."

"Oh, and you're bossy too, I like it," he grinned before capturing her lips in a passionate kiss that left her gasping for air and did all kinds of funny things to her insides.

"So, how did I do?" Castle asked her cockily after he leaned back a couple of inches to get a better look at her face.

"I don't know, maybe you should give it another try." She tried to keep her expression even, tried to keep her lips from spreading into a huge smile that would only inflate his ego further. Something neither he, nor she, were in need of.

"Hah, you wish Detective! In all seriousness though, Alexis is an early riser and seeing me come out of your room might raise some questions," he told her as he got off the bed and moved towards the door. "What do you want for breakfast?"

"Eggs and toast please?"

"It'll be ready in thirty minutes, complete with coffee."

When he left the room, Kate's heart was racing. Not because of the fantastic kiss but because of something he had said. He had mentioned Alexis. Alexis. And Louis. Her pulse quickened even more when she thought of her son and his daughter.

They can't be doing this, they can't hurt either of the children like that. Suddenly feeling trapped under the blankets, Kate got out of the bed and started pacing the room. Neither she nor Castle had a good track record when it came to relationships, they had established that much this weekend. Why should this relationship be any different? She was not a part of his world, she didn't belong in his world, this was foreseen to fail, right? They were too different, this _couldn't_ be working. Nothing in her life had ever worked out, so why should this? Insecurity crept through her, relentless like wildfire. _Great_, she thought with a bitterness that left a bad taste in her mouth, _now I have to end this relationship before it barely even started. _But were they in a relationship? Thinking about it, she realized, she had no idea what they were exactly. They kissed and agreed to go out on a date. _Oh God, the date_, she groaned. What was she thinking?! Checking the time, she quickly dressed herself and went downstairs, hoping to be able to talk to him before anyone else woke up.

She found him standing at the stove, scrambling eggs.

"Hey there," he greeted her, a content smile on his lips.

"Castle, can we talk?" She decided to not beat around the bush and the faster she got this over with, the better.

"That doesn't sound too good," he tried for humor, but it fell flat when he saw the tensity in her back and shoulders.

He turned down the heat of the flame, so he could give her his undivided attention. "What's on your mind?"

"Castle, I have no idea how to say this," she placed a hand in front of her mouth, thinking of the right words before speaking up again, "I don't think we should be doing this. We can't."

"And by 'this' you mean us?" he asked slowly, trying to fully comprehend what she was saying.

Kate nodded her head and opened her mouth to speak but Castle was quicker. "Could we maybe have this talk after breakfast? I can already hear the children," he pointed to the ceiling where the soft thuds of footsteps could be heard, "And they really don't need to hear any of this. I'm sure my mother, once she is awake of course, will keep them occupied, so we can talk without being disturbed."

Kate admired his thoughtfulness and how he always thought of his daughter first. She hoped she could take advantage of that and convince him that they had to put their children first, despite the obvious attraction between them.

Soon enough, bare feet trampled down the stairs.

"Morning daddy, morning Kate," Alexis cheerily greeted her, the buns on the sides of her head somewhat askew.

Louis followed after her, not yet as awake as his friend.

"You have to take my buns out, Kate!"

Kate stood behind the girl and carefully removed the elastics, causing the buns to unfurl into curls.

"They're beautiful, Alexis," Kate told the girl with a smile.

"Yeah?" she asked for reassurance, the corners of her lips slightly tilted up.

Kate nodded in agreement and Alexis turned to her father. "Does our hair look alike, daddy?"

Despite the apparent difference in color, Alexis' hair was much longer than Kate's shoulder-length tresses, but seeing the admiration in his daughter's eyes whenever she looked at the older woman made him nod and smile in agreement.

Breakfast was somewhat strained. The kids didn't pick up on it and chit-chatted happily, but Martha noticed immediately when she appeared at the table.

When everyone had finished, Castle got up. "Mother, could you ...," he pointed at Louis and Alexis, and Martha nodded understandingly. "Oh, of course kiddo. Come on Alexis, Louis," she stood up, motioning for them to do the same, "Let's clear this table and get dressed. We need to enjoy this sunshine and get outside!"

The kids got to work right away and Castle went into the library, obviously trusting for Kate to follow him.

_We seem to have all of the serious talks in this room_, Kate thought and shook her head to refocus on the task on hand. It was important to her to make Castle understand and get her point across.

"Okay Kate, talk to me." Castle closed the door behind her, his arms crossed in front of his chest as if to protect himself from the words that were about to spill from Kate's mouth.

"Do you know how you always say Alexis looks up to me?" Kate began and looked at him for confirmation and when he nodded, a little confused, she continued. "It's the same thing with you and Louis. He doesn't have any male role models in his life, and whenever he is with you, he looks up to you, he admires you. You inspire him and influence him in a positive way. It not only means much to him but to me, too." She stepped a little closer to him, searching his eyes. "It's like you somewhat make up what he's been lacking all of his life, and I don't want him to loose this."

Cluelessness was written all over Castle's features and Kate was quick to explain. "What if this 'us' does not work out? How can we take responsibility for that? How can we justify ourselves to our children?" She was desperate to get him to understand.

"You're right Kate, we can't," Castle replied with an even voice, staring into the distance. "But I'm not ready to let the idea of 'us' go yet." He looked down into her eyes, his own having turned a steely blue. "What if we promised each other that, no matter what happens between us, we will still be there for each other's children? That even if we don't work out, Louis can still come over to the loft after school and Alexis can still come to you when she wants to sport a bun-hawk to school?"

She actually had to chuckle at that mental image but she quickly turned serious again. "Do you really believe that will work?"

"Yes!" He grabbed her hands in both of his and squeezed them. "Yes Kate, I believe it would work. And do you want to know why?" He waited for her to look at him before he continued, "Because we both love our children so much and would put their needs in front of our own hurt any time."

Kate had to agree with that, she would. They both would. "Okay," she breathed. "Promise me."

"Kate, I promise I will never do anything to hurt you or Louis, and no matter what happens, he will always have a friend in me." She searched his face for any trace of doubt, however she only found honesty and a determination that made her heart flutter. In a good way though, knowing, he didn't want to let go of her that easily was good.

Kate nodded and swallowed past the lump that had formed in her throat. He was so good to her. "And I promise you that I will always be there for Alexis."

Desperate to get everything out on the table, she addressed the second reason why they needed to talk.

"Castle, this 'us' ... What are we exactly?"

"We are what ever you want us to be." He looked at her with so much affection and adoration, and maybe a hint of something _more_ brimming in his eyes, it shot straight through her heart. "We will take this slow, as slow as you need it to be and see how it goes for a while before we bring my mother and the kids into the loop. Sound good?"

"Very," Kate smiled softly at him.

"So, are we good?"

"We're good," Kate responded as she wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, proving her point.

"Come on then, let's enjoy those last couple of hours we have before we have to go back to the city." He dropped a kiss to her head and led her outside.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. **

**Chapter 13**

It was Monday, and happily, Kate still had four days off. After returning from the Hamptons late the day before, she and Castle had planned to spend those four days together as much as possible, exploring their new relationship and building a solid ground it could stand and grow on. So here she was, dropping Louis off at school and waiting for Castle to do the same with Alexis, in order for them to go to Castle's loft together and and spend the morning in each other's company until it was time to pick the kids up from school again.

She finally saw Castle rounding the corner, holding Alexis' hand. She didn't know for how much longer she would have been able to keep standing in front of the school without looking suspicious, Louis having already disappeared inside the building.

"Hi Kate!"

"Good morning Alexis," she greeted the cheerful girl with a quick wave of her hand.

"Bye Kate! Bye daddy!" Alexis let go of her father's hand and sprinted through the gate, her red ponytail fluttering behind her like a flag in the wind.

"Have fun Pumpkin!" Castle called after her, but Kate doubted the girl heard him.

Mindful of the other parents and nannies, they greeted each other a little awkwardly. Not knowing if something as simple as a hug would raise suspicion, they decided to avoid all physical contact and simply started walking. Until they rounded the first corner that is. Before Kate could realize what was happening, Castle had pulled her in for a quick kiss, and before she could even think about responding, he was gone again, taking a step away from her, creating a respectful distance between them.

"Did you have breakfast already?" he asked her, totally ignoring that he just kissed her in public, however quick it may have been.

What? Her mind was stilling spinning from that unexpected kiss and he was asking her about breakfast? How does he do that?

"Ehh ... no, not really," she stammered and started walking again, hurrying to catch up with him.

"Good," Castle grinned, "Because I know this awesome bakery enroute to the loft and I thought we could pick up some pastries and take them home."

"Sounds great," Kate smiled. She loved how thoughtful he was and how he always knew an "awesome place".

They stopped at the aforementioned bakery and Kate picked out a slice of cheesecake, while Castle got himself a chocolate muffin.

Twenty minutes later she sat in Castle's kitchen and got the pastries out of the box and onto a plate while Castle prepared the coffee. He held out a steaming mug to her and she accepted it gratefully. She was about to take a sip when she caught a whiff of the coffee's aroma.

"This does not smell like my usual coffee, Castle. Did you put something in there?" She eyed the coffee suspiciously and swirled it around once, trying to detect the reason for it's different smell.

"It's nothing bad, I promise, but yes, I put something in there."

She slowly took a sip, Castle watching her reaction closely. She was pleasantly surprised when the faint aroma of vanilla warmed her mouth. She really had to pull herself together to prevent a small moan from escaping.

"This is really good Castle, what did you put in there?" she asked him, eyes wide and still a touch of vanilla - and maybe cinnamon? - on her lips.

"A magician never reveals his tricks," he told her with a twinkle in his eye and took a sip of his own coffee, hiding his smug grin effectively.

"Seriously?" She was not amused, this was possibly the best cup of coffee she has had in her entire life and he refused to tell her his secret?

"Seriously." He took a bite out of his muffin and pretended to not be bothered by the way she glared at him. "But I guess you could always cuff and interrogate me," he suggested cheekily around another mouthful of his muffin.

"Or maybe I will just follow the evidence," Kate retorted with a roll of her eyes, already looking around the kitchen for something that smelled or tasted of vanilla.

"You're no fun," Castle mumbled into his own mug.

"What was that?" She quirked an eyebrow at him in amusement.

"I said we should go somewhere fun today."

"M-hhmmm," she hummed in response, not believing a word he said. "Like where?"

"We could go to the Botanical Garden, I heard it's breathtaking in the spring, when the flowers are just starting to blossom."

"That does sound tempting, actually."

Castle immediately retrieved her coat and helped her into it, his hands lingering on her shoulders slightly longer than necessary, before freeing her hair from the collar of the coat.

They hailed a cab and Castle paid for the uneventful ride they had mostly spent in silence. He also bought both their tickets, something for which Kate glared at him. She made a mental note to herself to talk to him about constantly buying her stuff.

They decided on taking the path that led them through the forest part of the garden. A beautiful area where you walked on earthy, uneven ground and had to cross small rivers and step over large roots obstructing the path. It was a little adventurous and probably the reason why Castle liked it so much.

After having taken only a few steps, Kate felt Castle's large fingers wind through her slender ones.

"Castle!" she hissed, slightly confused. Wasn't it only yesterday that they had decided to keep this - whatever they were - to themselves? And here he was holding her hand in public?

Castle must have read her thoughts. "Relax, Kate. Look around us, we're basically alone." He gestured around them with his free hand and he was right, except for an older couple a few yards ahead of them, they were by themselves.

"It's not like the paparazzi are walking around the Botanical Garden, hoping to get a glimpse of someone famous. And even if they were, I've gotten quite good at spotting them, so there's nothing to worry about, least of all in this part of the Garden." He brushed his thumb across her knuckles, a gesture she found very soothing.

Kate had to agree with him, and it's not like he was George Clooney, right? She gave his hand a light squeeze and they continued to stroll through the beautiful flora.

"It's magical," Kate told him as she stopped on the path and looked at the saplings sprouting from the rich soil to her left.

"It is." Castle's voice was low and deep next to her ear. She wasn't quite sure whether he was talking about the green springing from the ground in front of them or something else, but she found she wouldn't terribly mind if he was talking about her, them. She briefly leaned into his side, taking in the sight and enjoying the moment. The rich and venturous scent of Castle assaulting her sense of smell, his warmth against her side, the heaviness of his fingers between hers and young, innocent life blossoming right in front of her. She tried to capture the moment, photograph it with her mind so she could revel in it whenever life got angsty.

She turned her head and found Castle staring at her, something close to wonder on his face. Shooting him a shy smile, she leaned up and captured his lips in a soft kiss.

"What was that for?" he asked after she pulled away.

"No reason." It wasn't true but she had no idea how to tell him how she felt right now. She was happy, so very happy and full of hope of what was to come. To some extent she was still scared of what was developing between them, scared of what would happen if things didn't work out, but she banned those thoughts from her mind for the moment. She still found it incredibly outlandish that Castle felt something for her that was more than just plain friendship, and she wanted to revel in the feeling of being cared for and admired, and didn't want the amazing morning she has had so far be ruined by negativity.

"Well, feel free to kiss me for no reason any time you like," Castle winked at her and put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his side and they continued to walk along the path.

When they left the thick cover of the trees, he hooked his pinky in hers, maintaining their physical contact in an innocent enough gesture, that was easy to quickly remove oneself from if necessary, until they got in a cab and went back to the loft.

Inside, Castle helped Kate out of her coat and started the coffee machine. He excused himself when his phone rang and Kate took the chance. Opening the same cabinet she had seen him open earlier this morning, she found herself face to face with various syrups and coffee creamers. She searched the etiquettes for something vanilla-flavored and found two different syrups and a creamer. Sighing with frustration, she grabbed the first syrup and poured a small amount into one of the two mugs she got from another cabinet. Would be ridiculous if she couldn't recreate the coffee Castle had made her in the morning. When she heard footsteps approaching, she quickly put the syrup back and poured the coffee into the cups, blending the syrup with the brown liquid.

"Thank you," Castle said, accepting his cup. "Sorry about that, but Gina is relentless."

"Don't worry about it," she told him as she took a sip of her coffee, having a hard time swallowing the ... absolutely gross-tasting liquid.

"Something wrong?" Castle asked her, noticing her grimacing.

"No, everything's fine," she forced out and turned her focus back to her coffee again. She took another sip, hoping she'd just have to get used to the taste and it wouldn't be as nauseating this time. Gulping, she gave him a not very reassuring smile.

"Oh my God!" Castle suddenly exclaimed and placed his own mug on the counter.

"What?" She looked at him with wide eyes, praying he hadn't noticed anything. But she had no such luck ...

"You used one of my syrups, didn't you?" He was gloating and having a way too good time for her taste.

"I did not!" Kate defended herself insistently but Castle had already snatched her cup out of her hands and taken a large sip, a grimace distorting his face immediately.

"Jeez, how much of that stuff did you put in there?" he asked her, dumping the contents into the sink.

Feeling stupid and a little embarrassed for being caught, Kate turned her back to him. "Just make me a new one, okay?"

Castle once again started the coffee machine and moved to her other side to open the cabinet to get the syrup, but halted mid-air when he saw Kate memorizing his every move. "Turn around."

"What?" she asked, incredulous.

"Turn around!" he insisted.

"What? No! I'm not turning around!"

Castle removed his hand from the handle and crossed his arms over his chest, looking very much like a three-year-old who is refusing to continue walking through the park unless his parents got him something from the ice-cream vendor.

Kate suddenly had the urge to just scream into a pillow and then whack him over the head with it. "Fine," she huffed at last and turned around.

When he presented her a new cup of coffee half a minute later, she had the urge to kiss that smug grin off his face. She decided to glare at him instead, which only made him grin wider and that was the final straw for her. Placing her cup on the counter with a deft thump, she lunged at him, shoving her tongue into his mouth almost roughly. Satisfied when it took him a few seconds to realize what was happening, she nipped at his bottom lip, eliciting a moan from him. He finally caught up with her and took hold of her hips, pulling her against him as he curled his tongue into hers. The next moan that filled the silence of the loft tumbled from her mouth. He tasted like coffee and something dark and just so purely _Castle_ and she was addicted.

When she broke away for air, she simply had to smile at how adorable he looked. He was still a little flabbergasted, his eyes wide with surprise and his lips red and swollen.

He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times as if to say something but not being able to form a sentence. She leaned in again and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "We need to go and pick up the kids."

"Kids? What ki- Oh, right, the kids," he stammered.

Kate quickly downed her coffee, enjoying the sensation of it mixing with the flavor of Castle that was still lingering on her tongue.

Side by side they started the short walk to Alexis' and Louis' private school, when a thought occurred to Kate. "Castle, we probably shouldn't be arriving at the same time."

"What? Why not?" he turned his head to look at her.

"We already left together and my apartment is in the opposite direction, don't you think it will look suspicious?"

"To whom? To the parents whose eyes are glued to the displays of their phones, or to the poor nannies who end up carrying the school bags and coats of kids that demand they cook them five-star pasta for lunch?"

What he said was most likely to be true, most people probably wouldn't notice. Nobody paid attention to her, she wasn't one of the rich and famous parents, her son simply was one of the few scholarship recipients, but he was Richard Castle and a few of the mothers and nannies did track his every move or force him into conversations. It was public knowledge after all that he was a rich and single dad to an overachieving eight-year-old. People may not pay attention to her, but they definitely did to him.

"Please?" she asked.

"Fine, I'll wait here for a couple of minutes."

"Thank you." She squeezed his hand subtly, not daring to kiss him so close to the school.

"Do I get to see you tomorrow?" His voice was hopeful and she hated to decline him.

"Probably not. Louis has an appointment with the dentist and will be late for first period."

Castle's face fell and Kate did her best to cheer him up. "But I'll see you Wednesday? And we can spend the morning together again?"

That lightened Castle's mood a little. "Sounds good. And now go, Louis and Alexis will be waiting." He gave her hand one last squeeze before he let go and she rounded the corner.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Since I'm stuck at home with a broken toe, expect quite a few updates over the next few days!**

**Chapter 14**

As promised, Kate came home with him again the following Wednesday. They stopped at the bakery and picked up some breakfast and then sat down at Castle's kitchen counter to down it with his special, vanilla-flavored coffee she still didn't know how to prepare.

"Kate, I was thinking," Castle started the conversation carefully. "Maybe Friday isn't such a good idea."

"The gala opening?" she asked and Castle nodded. "I've been thinking the same thing, actually."

"Introducing you as my date kind of defeats the whole purpose of keeping this," he motioned between him and her with the hand not currently holding his muffin, "Out of the public."

Kate nodded in agreement. "It seems I didn't quite think this through on Saturday. What are you going to do instead?" she asked, remembering the conversation they had had about him going to these kinds of events a few days ealier.

"I'll just go there by myself," he told her with a steady voice and broke off another piece of his muffin.

"But you said -"

"I know what I said," Castle interrupted her softly. "It's not a problem. I think I can ward those over-zealous women off one more time. And besides," he added after a small pause, "I want to take you somewhere more romantic for our first date."

She wasn't opposed to the idea. Making a public appearance with Castle didn't sound appealing at all anymore. She had no idea what had gotten into her that Saturday. "Did you have something specific in mind?"

"Actually, I did. And I want to take you there. This Saturday. It's not a very public place so we should be fine."

"If you're sure?" she asked, still not quite grasping the fact that he wanted to go on a date with her.

"More than." He emphasized his statement with a kiss to her lips. "Do you have someone to babysit Louis? Because you could bring him over and my mother could watch both the kids. I'm sure she won't mind."

"And what do I tell her when she asks why we dressed up?" she asked him dryly.

"Right, bad idea."

Kate hummed in agreement. "I'll ask Rosa if she can take him. When I was still an officer and pulled the night shift, he used to sleep over at her place. It should not be a problem."

"Alright then. I'll pick you up at seven?"

"Sounds fine," she confirmed with a soft smile.

XXX

It was seven o' clock sharp when she heard a knock on her door. Casting one last glance at herself in the mirror, she smoothed some imaginary wrinkles out of her navy blue dress and went to open the door in one fluid motion.

"Hey," she gave Castle a soft smile.

In response, he mutely handed her a small bouquet of flowers and Kate had to fight the urge to chuckle. He was adorable, especially when speechless, she could now admit that to herself.

She gratefully accepted the flowers. "Come on in, I'll be ready in a sec."

He entered her apartment, and she went to place the flowers in a vase. From her spot in the kitchen, she inconspicuously took him. He wore a suit that fit him nicely and a ... navy blue dress shirt. She didn't know whether to find the fact that they matched cute, in an absolutely nauseating way, or rather unnerving. Dismissing the thought, she quickly went into her bedroom to get her heels before meeting Castle, who had finally found his tongue, back in the living room.

"You look incredible," he told her warmly as she approached him, now almost as tall as he was. She inwardly sighed with relief. She had stood in front of her closet longer than she'd liked to admit and hoped the simple, navy blue dress, that hugged her body in all the right ways, was neither too much nor too little. She'd accessorized it with a silver bracelet and matching earrings and had carefully twisted her hair into a loose bun, which accented her long neck even more. The look was simple yet elegant and she was glad he seemed to approve.

"You look mighty fine yourself, Castle." She tipped her head up and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, but pulled away before he could deepen the kiss, in fear his wandering hands might ruin her hair.

"Where are you taking me?" she finally asked as he helped her into her coat.

"You'll just have to wait and see," Castle told her as he linked his arm with hers.

Outside her apartment building was a car waiting for them, the driver already holding open the door for them. "You called your car service?"

"We all need some luxury in our lives, don't we?" he winked and ushered her into the car.

The drive was short and comfortable in the smooth-going town car. Castle softly circled the skin of the back of her hand with his thumb and she casted long glances at the profile of his face. The manly slope of his nose, the sharp angle of his jaw and those full lips, that could elicit the most sinful noises from her. If he registered her staring, he pretended not to notice.

When the car finally came to a stop, they found themselves in front of a small Italian restaurant. "This is one of my favorites. It's nothing special but it's private and so very good." Castle smiled at her as he took her hand to help her out of the car.

"It looks lovely, Castle," Kate replied with a smile of her own.

When they entered the maître d' led them to a cozy table near the end of the restaurant, somewhat hidden from the entrance. It was a relatively simple restaurant and that's what Kate liked about it. She was glad Castle hadn't taken her to one of those overly fancy restaurants where a bottle of sparkling water had its price in the double digits and she would most likely have felt uncomfortable, knowing that she'd never be able to afford a single meal there on her cop's salary. The thought that he seemed to know her so very well let the butterflies in her stomach come to live once again.

"Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight"? Castle asked her once they'd taken their seats.

"You may have mentioned it." She knew she was blushing, but how could she not? It's not everyday that a man as handsome as Richard Castle complimented her. She looked up to find him smiling at her, his thumb once again tracing circles on the back of her hand on the table. They both knew this was as close to accepting the compliment as it got tonight and he accepted that with a smile. He would love to convince her of her beauty more fully, but a public place like this was not the place for that, not with Kate Beckett who found it hard to accept anything close to a compliment in general.

"What did you eventually end up telling Louis?" Castle asked once the moment had passed.

"I told him I was going out with some friends." She averted her gaze and started playing with her napkin. "I don't like lying to him, even when it's for his own good."

Castle gave her hand a soft squeeze. "I completely understand, I don't like it either."

That made Kate finally look up. "What did you tell your family?"

"I told them I was going to a party. Alexis bought it, but I'm not so sure about my mother," he noted vaguely.

"Does she suspect?" She nervously nibbled on her bottom lip, only stopping when the artificial taste of lip gloss assaulted her taste buds.

"Hard to say. She gave me this look. You know, the look that says 'I'm your mother, I know you're hiding something'?"

Kate nodded and he continued, "She gave me that one, but didn't ask any questions."

He must have seen her worrying her bottom lip, a tell-tale sign that something was bothering her, because he gave her hand another soft squeeze.

"Kate," he waited for her to look at him, "Don't worry about it, she doesn't know and I'll make sure it stays that way," he told her with firm belief in his voice.

She wasn't entirely convinced but gave him a smile anyway.

"But let's not talk about my mother please," he made a face and Kate laughed just as their server brought their plates and they dug in.

"This is fantastic, Castle!" Kate exclaimed after trying the gnocchi she had ordered.

"I'm glad you like them," he gave her a soft smile. "I really like this place and sure hope to come back here with you again one day."

She had just taken a sip of her wine and only barely managed not to choke on it. She took a deep breath and smiled at him because no, she was not totally freaking out right now just because he told her he wanted to take her out for dinner again in the future. No, she was totally calm. Or that's what she kept telling herself.

"So, how was the gala opening yesterday?" She tried to ask it nonchalantly and tried not to think about how she had spent large parts of the evening before wondering how many women had flung themselves at him and how she had been a little jealous even though she had no right to be and wasn't the type to be so anyway.

"The art displayed was very interesting but the company could have been better." He gave her an honest smile along with a knowing look and just like that she felt totally ridiculous about her behavior the night before.

"The next time you have to go somewhere like that, I'll accompany you."

"Promise?" He actually looked so hopeful she had to laugh.

"Promise." This time she gave his hand a soft squeeze to emphasize her words.

They spent the rest of the dinner in comfortable conversation. They talked a little about Kate's co-workers, Esposito and Ryan, the newcomer who had just been promoted and was a little clumsy but still very sweet and they talked about the current series Castle was writing, the _Derrick Storm_. novels. She secretly loved them, just like the rest of his work, but she would never tell him that. His ego didn't need any further inflating. But he knew she was a fan, he had found that out the second time they had met.

They rounded their dinner off with a portion of a sinfully rich tiramisu which they shared. In the past Kate had always rolled her eyes at couples that would share dessert and have eye-sex while feeding their significant other, but now, doing exactly all of those things, she secretly loved it.

After finishing up and taking care of the bill, Castle pulled her against his side and led her outside the restaurant and up the street. "You up for some dancing?" he asked, looking down at her.

She stiffened against his side. "I'm not much of a dancer actually, Castle," she admitted quietly and averted her eyes, not wanting to see the disappointment in his eyes. He was old-school when it came to dating, and they had already kissed before the first date so had definitely counted on taking her out for dinner and some dancing to at least do something by the book.

"But dancing is obligatory for a first date! How else am I going to sweep you off your feet?" he pouted.

"Oh, I just happen to know a way," she told him seductively before tilting her head up and pressing her lips to his. She was taking a risk, but she figured that in the dark, nobody would be able to recognize them and the neighborhood they were currently in wasn't known for celebrities roaming the streets. Castle responded immediately, placing one hand on the small of her back to pull her closer and using the other to angle her head, his tongue tracing her lips. She parted them without hesitation, moaning at the taste of him. Rich like the tiramisu they had just shared and fruity like the wine they'd drunk.

"See," she told him with a wide grin, after she had pulled away to prevent turning blue from lack of oxygen, "Totally swept me off my feet."

He grinned back at her. "If that's all it takes, I will make sure to sweep you off your feet more often from now on." He fortified his statement with another soft kiss to her lips, before pulling her into his side again. "Come on, let's take you home, you must be freezing in this short dress."

She wasn't, the heat of his lips on hers had made her immune to the cold March night, but she didn't tell him that, she liked being snuggled into his side, although she would never admit that if being asked.

He flagged down a taxi and held the door open for her to scoot in before him. He gave the driver the address of her apartment building and slid close to her, his warm palm resting above her knee, right at the hemline of her dress.

As the cab drove through the still busy streets of New York, her thoughts were going a mile a minute. She was reluctant to let the evening end, she had had a great time, and Louis was gone all night and she wanted to take advantage of that, but she was afraid that if she asked him upstairs for a cup of coffee, the evening would evolve into something she wasn't quite ready for.

"Penny for your thoughts," Castle murmured low against her ear.

Kate turned her head and smiled at him meekly. She didn't really want to voice her thoughts, afraid of sounding like a fourteen-year-old school girl, but she still needed to somehow solve this problem.

"If I invited you up for coffee," she started carefully, "Would you be okay with it, if that were the only thing we would be having tonight?" She forced herself to look at him, make him see what she was feeling.

He smiled at her softly. "Of course. Your pace, remember?" his words were laced with such honesty it made her heart ache.

"Wanna come up for coffee then?" she asked him shyly just as the cab stopped in front of her building.

"I would love to."

Castle took care of the fare, something that wasn't missed by Kate. "I asked you out for a date, remember? Meaning I'll pay." He took her hand again, giving it a squeeze to reassure her.

"Fine," she grumbled, still having a hard time accepting things.

She unlocked the door to her apartment and invited him in. Inside, she slipped out of her heels, shrinking a few inches in the process. Castle grabbed two cups out of the cabinets while she turned on the coffee machine. She loved how he wasn't the least bit insecure in her home and simply knew his way around. She had always liked confidence in men.

When she returned from putting her shoes away, Castle was standing by the large window in her living room, sipping his coffee. She joined him, and with her temple against his shoulder, they watched the cars drive by on the street below them. He rested his hand on her hip, pulling her a little closer and they stayed like that, content of simply being in the presence of the other, staring out the window. When Castle turned away to place his empty cup on a coffee table nearby, she missed his warmth instantly. But when he turned back to her, he wrapped both his arms around her and pulled her against the solidness of his chest, holding her captive in the heat of his body, which was so much better. She returned the favor and placed both her hands on his chest, fingering the small buttons of his shirt while breathing him in.

She never wanted this moment to end. Being surrounded by the scent of him and coffee in the comfortable silence of her apartment at the dead of night, his broad chest under her cheek and fingertips and the slight swaying from side to side to a melody only he knew.

She felt him press a kiss to her head and looked up at him. He was looking at her with so much unbridled affection and adulation it made her head spin.

"I should probably go," he said softly into the stillness of her apartment but made no move to extricate himself from her. He was obviously just as reluctant to let this evening end as she was.

"Stay." The word was out of her mouth before she had the chance to think about it twice. She found his eyes again and detected confusion but also surprise shimmering in them. He clearly had not expected this. And neither did she, truth be told.

Determined not to show how her own request had taken her by surprise, she forced her voice to be steady. "You can stay if you want," she told him again.

He took a moment to think about her offer. "I'll have to leave quite early so I can slip into the loft before my mother or Alexis wake up," he told her quietly.

She pulled back a little from their embrace so she could see him better. She hadn't thought of his family at all. "You don't have to, Castle. Stay here I mean," she clarified. "I don't want to make things more complicated."

"You're not. I just didn't want you to be confused when you wake up in the morning and I'm gone."

She smiled softly at him. "Does that mean you're staying?"

"I guess it does," he smiled back. "Are you tired yet?"

"A little," she admitted.

He took her hand in his and started walking through the living room. "Let's go to bed then." But he stopped dead in his tracks when he became aware of the fact that he didn't actually know where her bedroom was.

"Uhh, lead the way."

"Come on," she laughed and led him down the hall.

The dominant colors of her room were beige and purple and Castle made a mental note of that. He had noticed that she often wore purple and it was always good to know the favorite color of the person you ... really cared about. He didn't dare to think of her as more yet.

Kate came out of the en-suite and gave him a spare toothbrush. They stood side by side at the sink and held eye contact through the mirror. While his eyes conveyed happiness, she tried to not let insecurity shine in hers. _What were you thinking? _she accused her reflection. She would need to strip out of her dress, something he surely wanted to assist with, since the task of pulling down the zipper on her back was a little difficult by herself, though not impossible, and she would need to put her pajamas on, and she would need to remove her make-up, and so on.

She rinsed her mouth, careful not to get any water on her dress. When she stood straight again to place her toothbrush in its holder, Castle was already behind her, his fingers toying with the zipper of her dress. "Do you need help with that?"

Through the mirror she stiffly nodded at him and he slowly started to pull the zipper down. He stopped when he was about halfway down and reached for her hand, twisting it around her back and bringing it in contact with the zipper.

"Think you can do the rest by yourself?" he asked, his voice low against her ear.

She nodded and shot him a grateful smile through the mirror. That sweet, sweet man.

He pressed at kiss to her top most vertebrae and then pointed at the bedroom. "I'll just ...," he motioned something unrecognizable with his hands before disappearing into the adjacent room.

She pulled the zipper the rest of the way down and let the dress pool around her feet on the floor.

She reached her hand out to the towel rack, a place where she normally kept her pajamas when she changed in the bathroom, but she felt ... nothing. Her pajamas were still in her bedroom, neatly tucked away under her pillow. Asking Castle to stay the night had completely thrown her off her game and confused her nightly ritual, starting with brushing her teeth while still wearing her dress and now forgetting about her PJs.

Gritting her teeth, she forced herself to think of a way out. She could just walk into her bedroom in her underwear, grab her pajamas, pull them on, sleep with her bra on, something she absolutely hated, and pretend not to notice the looks Castle would surely be shooting her way, or she could ...

"Castle?"

"Were you looking for these?" A hand appeared through the slit of the open door, her PJs dangling off its fingers. "Found them when I was turning down the bed."

What exactly had she done again to meet such an honest and caring man?

"Thank you," Kate grabbed the pieces of clothing and hoped he could detect the gratefulness in her voice.

She quickly got rid of her bra, pulled on the sleep shorts and the baggy t-shirt and removed her make-up.

Castle was already waiting for her, wearing nothing but his boxers and his undershirt. "I found your pajamas under the pillow on the left side, but I didn't want to assume ...," he explained his irresolute standing around.

"You can pick your favorite side, I usually just sleep in the middle."

"I'll leave you the left side then?" he asked as he moved over to the right side.

"Fine with me." The left was her favorite actually and she was happier about the fact that he preferred the right side than she should be.

They both got under the covers and lied on their backs, a foot of space between them and an awkward silence hanging around the room.

She wanted to be closer to him but didn't know how to do so without appearing needy. She wasn't needy. She was a strong, independent woman.

"Thank you, Castle," she finally broke the silence, still staring at the ceiling.

"For what?"

"For probably being the most respecting and understanding human being tonight. And for knowing exactly what I needed. Not a lot of men would have done what you did," she told him, meaning every word.

"For you, Kate? Always." His words were laced with the same honesty as hers had been. He turned to face her and started playing with a strand of her hair. "If you're not a dancer, are you at least a cuddler?" She could see him waggle his eyebrows suggestively in the dark.

"No, I'm not," she told him and it was the truth. She had never felt the urge to cuddle or snuggle or huddle up to someone, her son excluded. "But for you I'll make an exception," she said with a grin and scooted closer to him, lying her head on his chest. He pulled her closer with an arm around her shoulders and whispered, "Good night, Kate."

She leaned up and pressed a kiss to his lips. "Sweet dreams."

He chuckled. "I'm positive I'll have the sweetest of them all."

She smiled into his chest before sleep pulled her under.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Chapter 15**

It was still dark outside when Castle's alarm went off the next morning. He carefully pulled his arm away from under Kate's head and silenced it. Getting up slowly, trying not to jostle her too much, he started to put on his clothes from the day before, which had been neatly piled up on top of Kate's dresser. Finishing with the last button of his shirt, he turned around to take one last look at the beautiful woman he just woke up next to and found her staring at him. Apparently he hadn't been as quiet as he thought he had been.

Smiling softly, he went over to her side of the bed and leaned down to press his lips against her forehead. "Go back to sleep, Kate." She blinked at him twice before her lids stayed closed and he silently made his way out of her apartment with a little more bounce to his step than normal.

It was almost six when the cab pulled up in front of his apartment building. Knowing he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep and Alexis would be awake in less than two hours, he decided to write. His latest _Derrick Storm _was in its final stages and it wasn't long before it would be published.

In the loft, Castle changed into his pajamas to at least create the illusion he'd been home for hours and slept in his own bed, before starting to type.

It wasn't long before a pair of tiny sock less feet pattered down the stairs, going the direction of his bedroom and thus his office. No doubt it was Alexis, wanting to snuggle up with him for another twenty minutes or so. She looked adorable when she came to stand in front of his desk. Her nightgown was wrinkly, her hair a tangled mess and she clutched her monkey-bunkey, a brown stuffed monkey, almost as old as she was, to her chest, while rubbing her eyes with her left hand.

"Good morning, Pumpkin," Castle greeted her and pushed his chair away from his desk and held out his arms, and Alexis immediately clambered onto his lap, curling herself into his chest while he held her tightly. He pressed a kiss to her hair and simply breathed her in. He loved those early Sunday mornings where she got all cuddly. He knew he shouldn't hold it against her and that she was growing up, but it always stung a little when she refused to let him kiss her in front of the school or pulled her hand out of his when they turned onto the street the school was located on. Therefore he cherished those moments at home, where she came to him for a cuddle, all the more.

He decided to get a little more comfortable, so he picked her up and walked to the couch in the living room, where he lied down, with her still curled against him. He pulled a blanket over them both and closed his eyes, taking a quick catnap as Alexis did the same.

About twenty minutes later, he felt her wiggle against him and he opened his eyes to find her grinning at him. "Wake up sleepy! You have to feed me!"

"Sleepy? You fell asleep before me." Castle lovingly tweaked her nose and stood up, not letting her go. "And you better help me prepare breakfast."

He carried her into the kitchen where he sat her down on the counter next to the toaster.

"You are in charge of the toast and I'll prepare the eggs," he told her as he handed her a package of the bread.

The duo performed a well-practiced dance around the kitchen. It was clear they had perfected this breakfast ritual years ago.

Castle had just finished pressing fresh oranges for a juice for Martha, her favorite drink for breakfast, when she floated into the kitchen, wearing an eye cancer-causing turquoise robe.

"Good morning, kiddos," the diva greeted them, looking fresh and wide-awake despite the early hour.

"Morning, mother," her son replied, scrambling eggs.

"Good morning, grams."

When the last piece of bread was skillfully toasted by Alexis, the Castle-Rodgers clan carried the full plates and glasses to the table.

"I didn't hear you come home last night, must've been relatively early," Martha told him with a look Castle couldn't quite place.

He shrugged his shoulders and tried to act casual. "I was just quiet." Before she could question him any further, he quickly changed the topic. "How was your evening?"

"Fun," Alexis giggled. "Grams brought home a few of her costumes and we tried them on. Some of them look very ridiculous." She giggled harder at the memory and some of the egg from her fork dropped down onto her plate. "Especially the hats with the feathers on them."

And with that, the topic of his whereabouts the last night were off the table.

After breakfast he called Kate, he couldn't wait to see her again and they decided to have a movie night, complete with pizza and popcorn on Friday of the following week, when she was not on call and could bring Louis.

XXX

Alexis was off the couch on Friday before Castle could even register that someone had knocked on the door.

The little girl skidded to the door and threw it open, cheerily greeting their guests. When Castle walked up behind her, he saw that she had thrown her arms around Kate's waist and hugged her_. _If it was okay for her to do that, it was okay for him to do that as well, right? When Alexis finally released Kate and went on to properly greet Louis, Castle pulled Kate in for a hug, ignoring the shocked expression that crossed her features. Friends hugged, right? And as far as the children were concerned, they were friends. After a moment of stiffness, Kate relaxed against him and returned the hug. Unobtrusively, he pressed a quick kiss to her hair before whispering, "Hey."

She looked up at him and smiled softly. "Hey back."

He released her and mussed up Louis' hair lovingly, making Alexis giggle when his hair stood up at odd angles. Kate quickly smoothed it down again and closed the door behind them.

"I took the liberty of already ordering pizza, it should be here any minute," Castle announced. He already knew what their favorites were from the time they had had some in the Hamptons.

"Why don't you and Alexis pick a movie?" he asked Louis and pointed at a shelf in the living room which was stacked with DVDs. Then he looked at Kate and gestured at the kitchen. "Help me with the plates?"

She followed him and when he was sure the kids were absorbed in choosing a movie, he pulled her in for a quick kiss.

"Castle-," Kate started to complain, but he silenced her with another quick kiss.

"They're not looking," he told her and pressed his lips to hers for a third time. "I missed you."

She quirked an eyebrow at him. "You just saw me yesterday morning."

"Yeah," Castle snorted, "In front of the school, with a distance of ten feet between us and no way I could touch you."

"Well, you touched me just now."

"Not enough," he growled quietly and placed his hands on her hips to pull her closer. "It'll never be enough."

He wanted to kiss her, really kiss her, but didn't want to push his luck. Instead he sought out her eyes, hoping she could read everything he wasn't able to say or do right now in them.

She met his eyes, a soft smile tugging on her lips. Apparently she understood.

There was another knock on the door, and he quickly removed himself from her, grabbed his wallet and got their pizzas, while she grabbed four plates from the cabinets and carried them out into the living room.

"We picked _Lilo &amp; Stitch_!" Alexis exclaimed when the adults joined her and Louis on the couch.

Castle handed Louis and Alexis each a plate and went back into the kitchen to get some water. He gestured at the couch and caught Kate's eye. "Sit where ever you want to."

She plopped down in the middle and Louis immediately sat down on her right, Alexis on her left. Castle sat down next to Alexis and simply enjoyed being with three of his four favorite people.

Halfway through the movie, Alexis got up from the couch, telling them she would go and get some juice. As soon as she disappeared behind the open door of the fridge, Castle scooted to his right, taking her place and therefore sitting right next to Kate.

She shot him an amused grin and Castle grabbed a large blanket, throwing it over Louis' and both their laps, so he could tangle his fingers with hers underneath it without anyone noticing.

When Alexis returned from the kitchen, she shot her dad a questioning glance.

"Move your feet, lose your seat," he sing-songed and playfully struck his tongue out at her.

"Daddy," the redhead giggled before climbing into his lap and leaning back against his chest. He used his left arm to hug her to his chest and pulled his right hand out from under the blanket, lying his arm around Kate's shoulders instead, tickling the side of Louis' neck with his fingertips. The boy giggled and looked at him, making Castle smile in return.

Kate turned her face to shoot him a loving smile, rubbing the outer seam of his jeans with her thumb in gratitude for making the boy feel so at ease in his home and including him, especially when his shyness held him back.

When the movie was over, it was just after seven and Alexis was still wide awake.

"Can we play a game?" she asked.

Castle looked at Kate and Louis to check if they felt up for it and both nodded. "Sure, why don't you go and get one?"

Alexis hopped off his lap and ran up the stairs while Castle moved about to collect the empty plates. After stacking them in the sink, he met the others back in the living room, Alexis hiding both her hinds behind her back, holding something.

"What did you choose?"

"This!" she exclaimed and showed them her choice.

"Oh no," Castle groaned. "You just want to embarrass me in front of Kate and Louis, don't you?"

Alexis giggled. "It's not my fault you're so inflexible."

Alexis turned to Kate and Louis and held up the game of _Twister_. "Is it okay if we play this game?" she asked them.

Behind her back, Castle shook his head violently, hoping Kate would get the hint and tell Alexis no. Kate caught his gaze and smirked. Not a good sign.

"Of course we can Alexis, it's been ages since I last played."

This must be his payback for when he kissed her in the kitchen.

"Great!" the girl cheered and went to set up the game. She spread out the white mat with the green, yellow, blue and red dots and grabbed the spinner.

"I'll spin first, and you three can go," she told the others and took a seat on the couch.

They stood by the side of the mat when Castle suddenly started jumping slightly up and down, shaking first his left, then his right leg, loosening his muscles.

"You must be older than I thought you were," Kate mused, her eyebrows raised in disbelief at his actions. "Only _old_ people stretch for a game of _Twister_."

"But he is old," Alexis giggled from her spot on the couch, "He's thirty."

"Hey, I am doing this for you," he told his daughter, referring to his stretching. "After all, you would be the one who would need to nurse me back to health after I pull a muscle."

"Please don't pull a muscle daddy, not again," Alexis told him with wide, crystal-blue eyes. "Having to do that once was already bad enough." Kate let out a low laugh from behind her fingers that she had pressed against her lips, and before Castle could defend himself and tell them that he had simply slipped on the mat and almost done an involuntary split, Alexis span the hand of the spinner and announced, "Left hand green."

Obediently, Castle, Kate and Louis all placed their left hands on a green dot right in front of them.

"Left foot red," was the next instruction. While Kate gracefully reached out for the red dot on the opposite side of the mat, Castle had a little more trouble. All the good dots were taken and his two dots were diagonally across from each other, meaning he had to stretch his limbs out at an odd angle.

They stretched and reached out, over and under each other, placing their hand and feet on the different dots without trying to lose their balance. Louis was the first one to fall on his butt. The boy simply had the disadvantage of having shorter legs than the other two and couldn't reach one of the dots. He got off the mat and sat down next to Alexis, helping her with the spinner.

With the next instruction, Kate decided to impress Castle a little. With one foot on a green dot, she placed her other on the blue dot the farthest away from her, basically doing a split but without letting her pelvis touch the floor, both of her hands on a yellow dot in front of her, supporting her weight.

"Holy shit, you're flexible!" Castle exclaimed with wide eyes when he saw what she was doing.

She smirked at him, seeming totally relaxed while his own face was probably red from exertion already.

Louis told them to place their left hand on a green dot. Kate reached behind her with one hand, placing it on the green dot closest to her. For Castle it wasn't as easy. He was currently in front of her, facing her front, but the length of her body blocked out most of the green dots from his position. He could either reach around her and stretch very awkwardly, and probably fall flat on his face in the process, or he could reach one hand under her thigh and place his hand on a green dot basically beneath her.

Not wanting to give her the satisfaction of face-planting, he opted for option two. He flattened out his palm to squeeze it in the space between Kate's thigh and the mat. It was a tight fit and the back of his palm softly brushed the underside of her thigh.

"What are you doing?" Kate hissed and a little startled he looked up at her face.

She had closed her eyes shut and now her face, too, was flushed. Her breathing was shallow and when she opened her eyes again to look at him, he was so taken aback by the lust swimming in the now green irises, he forgot all about his body tension and crumbled to the floor, landing on his stomach with an _oomph_.

"And Kate's the winner!" Alexis announced and clapped.

With feline grace, Kate got her feet under the center of her body and got off the mat, leaving Castle lying there, his hands and legs buried beneath him, looking somewhat like a newborn calf that had tried to take its first steps before learning how to coordinate its long limbs.

"The winner could at least help the loser up," he pouted, but Kate only laughed.

"Now you're also too old to get up by yourself?" She bent down to him, offering him a hand, and when he grabbed it, she pulled him up and whispered in his ear, "I sure hope you have more stamina in other ... activities." She seductively pulled her bottom lip into her mouth and looked up at him through her lashes, while Castle just gaped at her, all coherent thought having left his brain.

It took him a few seconds to recover, but when he finally did, he waggled his eyebrows and smirked at her. "Getting bold, are we? I like it."

"It's my turn now!" Alexis jumped between them and pointed a finger at her dad, "And you're going down!"

"Challenge accepted!" he told his daughter with the same enthusiasm.

This time it was Castle, Kate and Alexis waiting for Louis to give them their first instruction.

He told them to place their right foot on a red spot and Alexis threw herself into the game with eagerness.

Castle knew he didn't stand a chance against Kate and Alexis. Kate seemed to be very flexible and was able to reach almost all dots from any position on the mat with her long legs, and Alexis was wiry and deft.

At one point, Kate was doing something similar to the downward dog pose, they'd teach you about in yoga classes. With her hands and feet placed squarely under her and her butt lifted high in the air, right in Castle's field of vision and reach, he found he just couldn't resist.

She shot him a warning glance that told him to not do anything stupid, but when she looked at Louis again, waiting for him to continue, Castle lifted one hand off the ground and playfully smacked her right on that delicious butt of hers. Just hard enough to make her yelp out in surprise and topple over, making both children laugh.

"Payback's a bi-," he told her, grinning widely, but he bit his lip just in time before the word slipped out. When both Alexis and Louis shot him curious glances, he quickly finished his sentence, "Bee. Payback's a bee," he said, praying, the kids wouldn't ask any questions.

He shot Kate a helpless glance but she only clamped her lips together, trying to contain her laughter. He was relieved to see she didn't take offense at his actions.

Louis asked them to place their left hand on a yellow dot and Alexis stretched her hand out as far as she could. Her sweater rode up slightly and revealed an inch of the smooth skin of her belly, which was currently pointing at the ceiling.

Sensing his chance, Castle leaned over her and breathed out against the skin of her belly, making the girl giggle and fall on her back.

"And it looks like I'm the winner!" Castle announced before starting to tickle his daughter on the floor.

"You cheated!" the eight-year-old protested in-between bouts of laughter.

"Did not! After all I need to breathe!" he defended himself.

It was clear Alexis didn't believe him, but she let it go and he helped her onto her feet, just in time to see Louis hiding a yawn in his mother's side.

"Someone's getting sleepy, huh?"

The boy looked up at him and nodded, the tiredness evident on his face.

"We should probably get going," Kate said. "It soon must be bedtime for you, too?" Kate asked Alexis and ran her hand through the girl's long hair.

"Daddy says I can go to bed whenever I want, but I never go later than half past eight."

"I'm glad someone has a sense of responsibility in this household," Kate laughed as she moved towards the front door of the loft.

"I'm going to ignore that comment," Castle grumbled as he got his guests coats and helped the tired boy into his.

"Well, I hope you had fun and we can repeat that some time?" Castle directed his question at Louis.

"I had fun," Louis confirmed, "And I really want to do this again."

Castle was glad to hear that. Sometimes it was very hard for him to read the shy boy who guarded his emotions so carefully.

"But next time without the cheating, Mr. Castle." Kate gave him a pointed look and Alexis copied her and crossed her hands on front of her chest.

"Exactly."

"I wasn't cheating!", Castle protested, bringing his hands up in front of him. "I only needed to-"

"Breathe, I know," Kate cut him off, before continuing a little dryly, "And push me. Right."

He gave her his best innocent puppy-dog eyes and pretended to not know what she was talking about.

Luckily, Louis came to his help as he yawned again.

"This discussion is not over," Kate told Castle and gave Alexis a quick wave as she opened the door and stepped into the hallway, Louis holding her hand tightly.

"See you soon," she smiled at the two Castle's who waved back at her.

"See you soon, Kate."

* * *

_Thoughts? I'd love to hear them!_


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Chapter 16**

It was just after ten PM one week later when he knocked on her door. He had just had dinner with Gina, as his publisher, not his ex, and talked about editing some minor things in his book, when she had mentioned his birthday party and he had realized he had yet to invite Kate. Since he was in the neighborhood already, he had decided to drop by. He knew, if she was at home, she would still be awake. She called him some nights when they hadn't been able to see each other that day and it was always ridiculously late when she did so.

He softly knocked on the door, mindful of Louis who was probably already asleep.

The door opened and a tired and slightly confused Kate Beckett smiled at him.

"Hey Castle." She opened the door wider and bid him inside. "What are you doing here?"

"First of all, is Louis in bed?"

She nodded and Castle let out a relieved breath. He quickly covered the distance between them and caught her lips in a soft kiss, his hands cradling her face. Two days without kissing her were two too many.

"I was in the neighborhood when I realized I needed to ask you something," he answered her question after pulling away from her but still holding her close with his hands on her hips.

"Oh, what's that?" he asked suddenly, only now seeing the dozens of papers and photographs and crime scene reports strewn around the coffee table in Kate's living room.

She turned in his embrace to figure out what he was talking about. "You probably shouldn't be looking at those," she told him with a disapproving look and started to stack the papers before placing them in brown manila folders, shielding their contents from his curious eyes.

"It's the case I'm currently working on," she sighed once she stood upright again. "We caught it two days ago and we're getting nowhere." She ran a hand through her hair out of frustration, her face a mask of distress. "Every lead we had turned out to be a dead end and every possible suspect has a solid alibi." She started pacing the living room, clearly worked up, her eyebrows knitted together in irritation.

She came to stand in front of her large living room window and looked down at the cars passing by. "It's just so ... ugh!" she growled, and pent-up tension caused her to ball her hands into tight fists. It bothered Castle to see her so irritated and he decided to do something about it. He walked up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Hey, hey," he said softly as his thumbs worked themselves into the tight knots of her upper back. Kate stiffened at first but rapidly relaxed as he continued his ministrations. She let out a sigh that came from the depths of her very being and let her head hang down, giving him access to her neck. He swiped her hair over her shoulder and continued massaging her neck.

When her neck was thoroughly kneaded through, he slowly lifted her blouse a bit, testing the waters, and placed his warm hands on her lower back, just waiting for her to stiffen again or any other sign showing she was uncomfortable with this much touching.

"Okay?" he asked her, when she remained motionless. She hummed her approval and he started working along the bony protrusions of her spine.

She broke the silence after a couple of minutes, her voice slightly slurred. "What was it again you wanted to ask me?"

He looked at her over her shoulder and smiled at what he saw. Her chin was resting against her chest and her eyes were closed in pleasure, her face completely relaxed and slack.

"I'm throwing a birthday party on Tuesday and wanted to know whether or not you're coming," he told her, his voice low.

She let out a sleepy chuckle. "Your birthday is on April Fools Day?"

"Awesome, right?" Castle grinned, obviously delighted at that fact. "So, are you coming?"

Kate hummed.

"Are you gonna dance with me?" he tried his luck.

Kate hummed again, making Castle wonder if she was actually listening.

"Are you going to wear a skimpy dress?" he asked her, his voice even lower against her ear.

She hummed a third time before blinking a few times. "Wait ... what?"

Castle let out a bark of laughter, before guiltily clamping his hands over his mouth. Both adults listened carefully for any signs that Louis had awoken, but it seemed they were in luck.

Kate turned around to face him, a look of worry on her face. "Did you say Tuesday?"

Castle nodded.

"That's inconvenient," she told him, a look of regret now gracing her features. "I have to work on Tuesday and Wednesday. And what about Louis? I can't ask Rosa to take him for another night and to get up early in the morning to get him ready for school. She may be his babysitter, but she does have a life of her own." She pursed her lips, hoping he would understand that she couldn't ask someone else to basically play mother for a whole twenty-four hours for a child that wasn't hers.

She saw how his face fell and quickly apologized. "I'm sorry Castle, I really want to, but I need to find a solution that works for Louis."

"I may have one," he told her, quickly thinking it through again before voicing it.

"I could pick up Louis and Alexis from school and take them to the loft. You can join us after work, and we'll have some cake and cook dinner for the kids. We'll put them to bed together - Louis can join Alexis in my mother's room - it's soundproof, didn't want to scar Alexis," his eyes went wide with fear at only the thought of that possibility, "Meaning they'll sleep undisturbedly and you too will sleep over at the loft. You can slip away from the party at any point and sleep in my room. It's soundproof as well, because -"

"Because you didn't want to scar Alexis?" Kate interjected, her eyebrows raised.

"Exactly," Castle admitted with a shrug. "So you can go to sleep whenever you want and in the morning, I'll get both kids ready for school, so you can sleep a little longer, and I'll only wake you when it's time to walk them to school." He finished his suggestion with a proud smile. "What do you say?"

"Seems like I don't have much of a choice with a well-wrought plan like that," she grinned and wound her arms around his neck, delighted that she was able to attend his birthday party after all.

"No you don't," he grinned and kissed her languidly, moaning when her lips parted under the resolute glide of his tongue.

A little breathless, he pulled back and rested his forehead against hers. "I needed that after the highly unpleasant evening I've had."

"Glad to be of assist," Kate smirked, her hands resting on his shoulders. "What were you up to?" she asked, only now taking in the suit he was wearing.

"I had dinner with Gina." When he saw confusion creeping into her features, he was quick to elaborate. "We talked _Derrick Storm_. Only a few more weeks until the new book comes out and we went over the last few details and discussed upcoming book tours. The bloodsucker," he laughed quietly and shook his head, "Always greedy for money."

Kate's features softened but there was still something Castle couldn't place.

"You'll meet her on Tuesday," he told her, lacing his hands together behind her back to keep her close.

"Gee, I can't wait," she retorted dryly.

Castle chuckled. "She's not all bad, just very business-oriented." And after a small pause he found several other words to describe his ex-fiancée. "And cold. And snappish. And uptight. And- You get the picture. At least she's like that when we're talking business, she's a whole different person when you're friends with her. But since we only do business together, I mostly get to see her nasty side." His eyes clouded over a little at that.

"Sounds like you two aren't getting along too well?" The concern was clear on Kate's face. Concern for his daughter and how the aftermath of this break-up may affect her.

"As I said she's very business-oriented and a very successful woman, but nothing is ever enough for her, so she tries to get everything she can out of one deal, regardless of the consequences. I used to admire her for going at everything so strong-willed. Now it just annoys the crap out of me. When I said she was regardless of any consequences I meant it," he emphasized with raised eyebrows. "She basically ignores the fact that I'm a dad. Unfortunately, she's one of the best at what she does, and she knows me, that's why we are still working together. But don't worry, when I'll introduce you to her at the party, she'll probably be very pleasant company. If not, there's always my mother," he smirked and tickled her spine with one of his fingers that were still laced together behind her back to ease some of the tension that now hung between them like persistent fog.

"I hope I'll be hanging out more with your mother than with Gina." It was clear to Castle that Kate didn't know what to expect of his publisher.

"You're not business related, she'll be nice." He finally saw some of the worry leave Kate's face. "Speaking of my mother, I should probably relieve her of her baby-sitting duties." He smiled wistfully, wishing he could be with Kate a little longer.

"Thanks for stopping by Castle, it was a pleasant surprise. And thanks for the massage, you have very talented hands," Kate leered.

"Oh, you have no idea," he grinned mischievously and pulled her a little closer. "Just wait until I show you just how talented my hands really are," he growled quietly and attacked her lips, his hands on her back pulling her flush against his body and holding her there.

"Castle," Kate mumbled into the kiss. He broke away from her mouth and trailed a series of kisses along her jaw to her ear, only to suck on the soft spot he found there. "Castle," Kate tried again. "Your mother and Alexis," she added on a breath, trying to keep a moan from escaping since it would totally defeat the purpose of getting him to stop.

At the mention of his mother, Castle froze instantly. "Right." He took a step away from her, a dazzled look on his face. "Right, I wanted to leave. Right," he repeated again, his mind still a little hazy. "So I'll just leave." He pointed at the door and Kate shot him an amused look.

"Night, Castle."

"Night, Kate. See you Tuesday."

XXX

On Tuesday, Kate left the Precinct in a hurry. She drove her Crown Vic to Castle's apartment building and surprisingly got a parking spot that wasn't too far away from Castle's home. Getting out of the car, she grabbed a heavy duffel bag and a smaller plastic bag out of the trunk, before locking it and walking the short distance to the loft.

Castle opened the door with a wide grin. "You're here!" He relieved her of the heavy duffel bag and closed the door behind her.

She searched the loft for the presence of the children and when she found no indication that they were downstairs, she pressed her lips to his in a quick kiss. "Happy birthday, Castle," she told him with a soft smile.

He beamed at her.

"You'll get a proper kiss once the kids are in bed." Kate winked at him before placing the plastic bag she still carried on the counter, leaving Castle by the door, who suddenly couldn't wait for the kids to be tired.

No sooner than she had taken off her shoes, Louis was running down the stairs and towards her.

"Mommy!" He threw his arms around her waist when he finally reached her.

"Hey Tiger, what's up? Did you have a fun day?" She hugged him back and pressed a kiss to his hair.

Castle had called her during her lunch break and told her he had successfully picked both kids up from school and they were having a ball helping each other with their homework and looking through Alexis' science textbook in wonder; science being an interest they had in common. Kate hadn't worried about her son, she knew he was in good hands but she was still glad she could hold him close and seek reassurance in his brown eyes.

Louis nodded eagerly. "Alexis and I have been playing table football."

"Who won?" Kate asked him.

"We both did," Alexis chimed in, making her way down the stairs, obviously having overheard the conversation Kate and Louis had had.

"But right now we are having a championship. Best two out of three should decide who the champion is." The redhead crossed her arms in front of her chest and leveled Louis with a challenging look. The boy returned the look, also crossing his arms in front of his chest and stood a little straighter, making him almost as tall as Alexis.

They stared at each other for a few seconds, before Alexis turned around on her heel, aiming a "Race you!" at Louis over her shoulder, and heading for the stairs, the boy immediately following her with a giggle.

"Whoa, wait, I brought dinner!" Kate held them back and had to stifle a laugh at how comically quick both children came to a halt on the stairs, feet poised mid-air.

Kate pointed at the plastic bag on the kitchen counter. "I hope Chinese is okay with you?"

Castle had already gotten out plates for the children. He and Kate would eat later at the party, for which he had hired a caterer.

While the kids sat at the counter, eating happily, Castle asked Kate to follow him, her duffel bag slung over his shoulder. He had previously explained to the children that Kate would be sleeping in his room because, apart from his mother's room, where the kids would sleep, it was the only soundproof room in the house and the children understood that Kate needed to sleep at some point since she had to get up early in the morning and go to work. They had simply accepted that explanation with a shrug, obviously thinking their parents were having the same kind of sleepover they were.

Castle led Kate through his office, a room she had yet to inspect more carefully, and into his bedroom. Just as the rest of his loft, his bedroom was very stylish. The heart of the room was definitely the large king-sized bed with its leather headboard. Large black-and-white prints of a lion and an elephant decorated the walls and in one corner was a cozy looking loveseat with a reading lamp on a table next to it. A place Kate couldn't wait to curl up in and read a book from Castle's tasteful collection. But not tonight, tonight she was here to celebrate the man himself.

Castle went straight into the walk-in closet and placed Kate's duffel bag on an empty shelf, something that made her raise her eyebrows at him. She was certain the shelf wasn't empty by coincidence.

Castle noticed her look and tried to act casual. "I just wanted you to have enough space. I figured you must have packed several outfits for yourself and Louis." He shrugged it off as if it were no big deal that he had made space in his closet for her and Kate decided to let it go, but just because it was his birthday.

She thanked him and he showed her his bathroom. The term 'bathroom' was actually an understatement for the large room with all its high-tech functions. He had a large shower she wasn't sure how to operate, a bathtub that could easily pass for a small hot tub and a variety of large mirrors so you could see yourself from many different angles.

He had two sinks and while the one on the right was clearly his, the one on the left was equipped with fresh towels and a still wrapped bar of soap. It was clearly meant for her.

He placed one of his hands low on her back, while the other reached for the door of a cabinet that was located beneath the sinks.

"This is where I store the bath salts and bubbles. Feel free to use them any time," he offered generously. He must have seen her basically ogling his bathtub upon entering. Her apartment didn't come with one and she missed soaking in the hot water for hours deeply. She was sure she'd take him up on that offer at some point.

She leaned her head on his shoulder and smiled at their reflection in the mirror. "Thank you Castle, this is great. I've actually really been looking forward to this night," she admitted, a slight blush creeping into her cheeks.

"Yeah?" Castle asked with a smile of his own.

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "And happy birthday again." She turned to him and cradled his face in both of her hands as she pressed a sweet kiss to his lips. When she pulled back she found him smiling at her.

"Happy birthday to me indeed," he grinned before diving in for another kiss. He pulled her flush against his chest as his tongue swirled with hers and her hands found their way into his hair, holding him close, while she pushed up on her tiptoes, trying to minimize all space between them. The kiss was full of emotion, both participants were trying to convey feelings they didn't know how to voice yet and Kate shuddered in his arms as she thought of what he might be trying to tell her with this kiss. When he pulled her yet a little tighter into his chest, she let out the moan that she had so desperately been trying to hold back and felt him grin slightly into the kiss. If her eyes were open she would have rolled them at his smugness.

When at last he tore his mouth away from hers, both of them were panting heavily.

"I don't know if I can stay away from you tonight," he told her with wide eyes and a frightening seriousness. "I certainly don't want to."

"Yeah well, just remember that if you behave, you'll get to wake up next to me tomorrow." She gave him a coy look through through her lashes, something she knew made his knees weak.

"I can do that, I can behave," Castle nodded, trying to come across as sincere.

"Good," Kate smirked at him. She was happy as long as he tried. "Let's check on the children," she suggested. They have been gone for way too long already and she didn't want to raise suspicion. Even though the kids were far too innocent to think about the possibility that their parents might be more than just friends having a sleepover, she didn't want to push it.

They went back into the living room after smoothing down Castle's hair, which had been thoroughly mussed by Kate's hands, and only found two empty plates on the counter and no children in sight. They must have gone to finish their table football tournament.

Castle shrugged his shoulders and went over to the large leather couch in his living room. He placed his hands on one arm of the couch. "Can you help me push this to the side? This will be the dance floor and I wouldn't want anyone to topple over any furniture."

Only now did Kate notice the slight changes in the loft. There was a large stereo in one corner and adjustable lights scattered around the ground floor for proper party-lighting. A lot of the furniture has already been moved, all that was left for them was the large couch and the coffee table.

With combined muscle power they pushed the heavy piece of furniture to the side and Kate took care of the small coffee table herself while Castle cleaned up the mess the children had left behind in the kitchen.

They were just about to go up the stairs and ask who had finally won the tournament when Alexis and Louis came down the stairs.

"Daddy?" Alexis started, soft eyes focused on her father. "Can all four of us do something together before we have to go to bed? Something special since it's your birthday?" Her eyes darted from Castle to Kate and back to Castle. "I know we had cake together this afternoon and watched cartoons but I want to do something that we don't do every day." The faintest blush of rose painted the pale girl's cheeks.

Upon hearing his daughter's shy request Castle quickly covered the distance between them and silently pulled her in for a hug, his lips pressed to her forehead.

Sensing their need for a moment in private, Kate waved Louis over into the kitchen. It pained Kate to see sweet and cheeky Alexis so insecure and unsure of herself, almost afraid to ask for something so simple. Her mother's absence must have taken a heavier toll on the girl than Kate had previously thought.

When she heard Alexis giggle, she turned around again. Castle was holding her upside down by the waist, his large palms easily bracketing the slender girl's body, as he pretended to sweep the floor with the tips of her red ponytail.

Kate shook her head at the silly, yet absolutely adorable picture they made. Once more it became clear to her what a good father Castle was; able to erase the shy and insecure look on the girl's face and turning into one of glee within minutes.

"We decided on a birthday tournament," Castle announced, starting to carry an upside down Alexis towards the stairs.

Kate was unsure if she and Louis should follow. It seemed like father and daughter might want some one-on-one time, so she hesitantly lingered in the kitchen.

"Are you guys coming?" Castle asked, already halfway up the stairs. He looked at Louis and Kate and must have seen the hesitation in their posture. "It's alright, come on."

He waited for the two Becketts to set in motion before going back to the task at hand - swinging Alexis from side to side like a pendulum, making her shriek with delight.

Upstairs, Castle lead them to one of the doors that branch from the long hallway. He turned to her, mindful that she has never been upstairs before. "The first door on the left is Alexis' room, the first one on the right mother's. The other two are guestrooms and the last one", he pointed at the door straight ahead of them at the end of the hallway, "Is kind of our party room if you will."

He lifted Alexis higher, his biceps bulging under his sweater - as Kate noticed with a suddenly very dry throat - so the girl could open the door for them.

He finally set Alexis down again, and Kate took a look around the room. It was a party room alright. Not only did he have a table football, he had a pool table, a poker table, a game of darts and a karaoke machine.

She caught his gaze and smirked at him. He shot her a questioning look but she only shook her head. She wouldn't tell him that she'd love to spend some time - some alone time when everyone else was asleep - with him in this room once they have advanced a little in their relationship; the sight of the pool table having conjured up images in her head that were far from being rated PG.

She shook her head to will the thoughts and pictures to go away and saw Castle already holding onto two of the handles of the table football. "You wanna be on my team, Alexis?", he asked and the redhead tilted her head slightly to one side.

"No, I want to play with Louis. Increasing my chances of winning," she giggled, fully back to her old, slightly cheeky self.

"But no crying if you lose," Castle warned her with a twinkle of amusement in his eyes.

"I never cry," Alexis defended herself, siding up to Louis on the other side of the table. "Because I never lose." Her voice was light and Castle mumbled something unintelligible, that sounded much like "Need to change that," to Kate's ears.

Castle rolled the first ball onto the table and before Kate could as much as twist her wrist and get the tiny army of soccer players to move, Louis had expertly scored a goal, leaving Kate and Castle speechless.

"I told you he was good," Alexis grinned and proudly looked at her friend who grinned back.

"I can't believe it!" Castle exclaimed twenty minutes later, still perplexed. They had just tucked the children in in Martha's large bed, a cartoon playing on the small TV in her room, and were now in the kitchen, helping the catering service that had just arrived to settle in.

"They beat us! We had three, _three_," he stresses the number and even holds up the first three fingers of his left hand, "Goals. She couldn't have let me won? It's my birthday," he whined, not sounding like a man who's turning 31 today but like a three year old boy who wasn't allowed to have another cookie.

"You'll live," Kate said with probably less sympathy than Castle had hoped for. "How long do we have until the first guests arrive?"

"They should arrive at around nine." He checked his watch before looking at her again, "Which leaves us about an hour."

"Just enough time to give you your present before I have to get ready," Kate told him with a playful wink and already started walking towards the direction of his bedroom.

"You got me a present?" Castle was quick to catch up with her, the excitement clear in his voice, even when he told her, "You didn't need to get me anything."

Kate knew he hadn't expected her to get him anything, but she had anyway.

She walked into the closet to her duffel bag and got out a rectangular package. She handed it to him with a smile. "It's nothing big, but I stumbled across it while taking a walk in the city one day and immediately had to think of you."

Castle carefully tore away the red gift wrapping paper and his hands closed around a beautiful dark brown leather-bound notebook with a large brass clasp in front to keep it closed. The heavy pages and uneven leather gave it a slightly antique feel.

"Oh Kate," he breathed as he ran his fingertips across the rough leather of the notebook, "It's beautiful, thank you."

"Yeah? You like it?" She tried to catch his gaze as he further inspected the notebook and a wave of relief washed through her as she saw the honest awe and happiness on his face as he clutched it to his chest.

"I love it." He smiled widely and pressed a tender kiss to her lips.

"I'm glad." She really was. She had been somewhat at a loss when she noticed that his birthday was coming up. He was a multi-millionaire, he could easily buy himself everything he wanted, so what could she possibly offer him? She had always found personal and unique gifts were the best and had hoped the notebook would fulfill both categories. Apparently it did.

With a proud glimmer in her eyes she watched as he carefully placed the notebook in the small drawer of his nightstand. He rounded the bed and came back to her to give her another tender kiss.

"Is it wrong for me to wish I could just cancel the party and spend the rest of the evening with you?" he whispered.

Kate chuckled. "But don't you want to see the dress I picked?" She gave him a saucy look and slightly nibbled her bottom lip in a way she knew drove him crazy, and grinned when his gaze focused on her mouth.

"You could still wear it, even if it's just the two of us." He already started pulling her closer to him but she quickly stepped out of his reach.

"Nu-uh, you'll have to wait till the party." With one last saucy look over her shoulder, she grabbed her duffel bag and disappeared into his bathroom.

"That's not how you treat the birthday boy!" she heard him whining on the other side of the door. "You're supposed to grant him all his wishes!"

Kate just rolled her eyes and shimmied out of her work clothes. She folded them together and pulled on the dress she had chosen. The black dress was short, yet not overly so, and only had one strap, leaving her left shoulder bare. Something that would drive Castle a little crazy, she was sure of it.

She decided to leave her hair as it was - the curly ends lying artfully on her shoulders. But she did decide to touch up her make-up a little. She skillfully applied a second layer of mascara and reached for her eyeliner.

After also applying a layer of lipgloss she was pleased to see she still had fifteen minutes before the first guests would arrive. She slipped into the black pumps she had brought and carried her duffel bag back out into the closet where she almost stumbled into Castle, who had just slipped into a dark red dress shirt.

His eyes went wide when he saw her and with a smirk she observed his gaze linger on her bare left shoulder.

"Now I really want to cancel the party," Castle said breathily, still taking her in, his own half-buttoned shirt forgotten.

She stepped close to him and started buttoning up his shirt before she too started drooling. "Too bad that's not an option. But if you behave tonight, I'll wake up in your arms tomorrow." Just to tease him a little, she made sure to touch the skin of his chest every now and then as she fastened one button after the other.

"Behave." He ran a hand over his face. "Right. I can do that," he nodded as if to reassure himself.

"Good," Kate smirked and pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

"But I still have," he quickly checked the Rolex that adorned his wrist, "About ten minutes where I don't have to behave." He grinned cockily before he leaned down and kissed her so thoroughly all coherent thought left her and if it weren't for his strong arm around her waist she would have probably crumbled to the floor. His right hand began playing with the skin of her bare shoulder, trailing down to her shoulder blade, leaving goose bumps in its wake and she just hoped he really could behave himself at the party tonight because when he touched her like that, she didn't know if she would be able to resist him.

When he pulled back, there was probably more lipgloss on his lips than on hers. Using her thumb, she wiped it away and he returned the favor.

"Beautiful," Castle said and she looked up at him with the heat of a rose blush climbing up her cheeks, "You look simply beautiful."

She shot him a shy smile. "You don't look too bad yourself, birthday boy."

He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear as way of thanks.

"Come on, let's get you a glass of champagne, people should be arriving any minute."

A sudden thought occurred to Kate. "Castle, what will the caterers think? We've been in this room together for almost an hour!"

"First of all, they were busy preparing the food and drinks, second of all, I've used this service for years, they are very discreet. But if you prefer, you could always use the other door." He pointed to the door that led you from the bedroom into a hallway from where you could also enter the living room.

"No, I trust you," Kate smiled at him and squeezed his hand.

That was probably the greatest gift Castle had gotten for his birthday so far.

Together they went into the living room, got Kate started on a glass of champagne and a few nuts that were standing on the counter, and Castle plugged his iPod into the stereo.


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Author's Note: So sorry about the delays in updating! But summer has finally arrived and I'm out and about all day and night, enjoying the good weather. The FIFA World Cup is not helping me write either, haha (anyone else watching?). But I'll try to update more regularly in the future.**

**Chapter 17**

Shortly after, people started arriving. At first, Castle introduced Kate to as many as he could but people just kept streaming into the loft and he could barely greet all of them himself. The caterers started carrying trays with drinks and finger food around the loft and Kate helped herself to a small sandwich; she was starving. She stood slightly to the side and watched Castle opening the door to his guests. There were well over thirty people at the loft by now and Kate didn't know a single one of them.

When Martha strolled into the loft, Kate watched the scene with amusement. Martha patted Castle's cheek lovingly and even gave it a slight pinch, much to Castle's chagrin. But then he leaned down to whisper something into her ear and her eyes immediately began roaming the crowd and only stopped when they found Kate. Martha gave her a large grin, nodded at her son and made her way over to where Kate was standing.

"Katherine, how lovely to see you!" Before Kate knew it, Martha embraced her in one of these hugs only a mother could give.

"Did Castle force you into paying me company?" Kate asked with an apologetic smile on her lips. It was a sweet thought but she didn't need babysitting. "You don't have to, I'm fine."

"Nonsense, dear." Martha waved her hand dramatically and then patted her forearm reassuringly. "It's nice to know someone who isn't stuck-up." She made a vague gesture at the crowd in Castle's living room.

Kate chuckled and eyed the crowd. "So I take it you know most of these people?"

"Just the ringless," Martha winked and waggled her left ring finger, making Kate laugh. She loved how tireless and vibrant the older woman was.

She scanned the crowd for Castle and found him talking to a tall blonde on the other side of the loft. Martha followed her gaze and took a step closer to Kate to drown out the loud music. "That's Gina," she told her quietly, assuming Castle had told her about his ex-fiancée. Kate took her in. She could see why Castle had been attracted to her, she was tall and beautiful and had a noticeable air of confidence about her.

"Come on, I'll introduce you two." Kate really didn't want to, but how was she supposed to tell Martha that she wasn't interested in meeting her _boyfriend's? _ex-fiancée? Suppressing a sigh, she followed Martha as she wove through the ever thickening crowd on the dance floor.

Castle looked up when he saw them arriving and she was sure she saw a slight hint of relief swimming in his eyes. Martha gave Gina a quick nod of her head, neither overly excited to see her nor revolted by her, and Castle came to stand beside Kate, giving her a small smile.

"Gina, this is Kate, you know the ...," Castle was looking for the right words to explain Kate's attendance at his party without giving away too much, but Gina beat him to it, "The one you never stop talking about." Gina smiled warmly at Kate and extended her hand.

"Right," Castle cleared his throat. "Kate, this is Gina, my publisher."

Kate took the proffered hand and offered Gina a small smile. "Nice to meet you."

"The pleasure is all mine. Actually, I couldn't wait to finally meet you, Ricky here has told me a lot about you." Gina shot Castle a pointed look, one that said she knew something was up, and Kate tried to hide her pink cheeks.

"Oh, there are so many people I want to introduce you to!" Castle stated all of a sudden with urgency and took her elbow to lead her away from Gina before she could reveal more things that Kate would for sure grill him about later.

Kate gave Gina an apologetic wave and Castle told her he'd catch up with her later.

"So ...," Kate began and watched in amusement as Castle seemed to groan inwardly. "You talk to your publisher about me." She tried not to let him read how pleased she actually was about that in her voice and forced herself to sound indifferent.

"I may have mentioned you once or twice." He shrugged his shoulders and went to his kitchen counter that had been transformed into a bar and got them two martinis, obviously hoping the topic was off the table.

"Once or twice?" Kate raised one eyebrow and gave him a pointed look.

"Fine," Castle grumbled. "Maybe three times. But how could I not? I always have the most wonderful time with you."

She hid her smile in her martini glass just as a new song began to play. It was a fast song and she could feel the beat thrum through her body. She began tapping her finger on the bar with the rhythm and Castle caught up on it.

He extended his hand. "May I have this dance?" He gave her his most charming smile and batted his eyelashes at her.

"I told you I don't dance," she tried to talk her way out of it.

"But on Friday," Castle began in his best imitation of a stubborn three-year-old, even crossing his arms in front of his chest, "You told me you would dance with me."

Despite herself, Kate grinned and took his hand. He led her onto the dance floor where a few couples already moved to the fast beat. He clutched her right hand and wrapped his right arm high around her back, leaving an appropriate amount of space between them and then began moving. With her free hand, Kate held onto his bicep, secretly loving how she could feel the play of muscle beneath her palm. Nothing about the position they were in indicated that they were more than just friends and while she knew this was the way it had to be, in private, Kate missed the warmth of Castle's chest under hands.

Before she could dwell on it though, Castle flicked his eyebrows once and spun her out and in again, his moves secure and confident.

The song ended and the next one started playing, again a pop song with a fast beat. Castle apparently decided to notch it up a bit and lucky for him (and her), Kate was very stable in her pumps. He spun her out again, grabbed her second hand and twirled her in a half-circle before pulling her back flush against his chest. She didn't see the move coming and almost shrieked in surprise, landing against the solid wall of his chest with a soft thud. Castle laughed into her ear and let go of one hand to spin her out anew.

By the time he pulled her in again and they were in their original position, she was laughing, free and carelessly. It's what he did to her. Has been doing since they first met more than half a year ago. They were in a room full of prominent New Yorkers - she had actually spotted the Mayor, the Chief of Detectives, other famous authors and some actors from Broadway which Castle must have gotten to know spending his childhood at the theater with Martha - pretended to be nothing more than good friends and still managed to have fun and be themselves.

When she found his midnight blue eyes twinkling down at her, she knew, with such clarity that it frightened her, that she was slowly but surely falling in love with Richard Castle.

XXX

With a tired sigh, Castle closed the door behind the last group of his guests that left. He leaned against the door and Kate dropped down onto a barstool, equally tired.

"Having a party on a Tuesday has its benefits, I guess. They all leave earlier than usual," Castle chuckled with a glance at his Rolex. It was just after 4 A.M.

Kate bent down and removed her pumps, letting them fall gracelessly to the floor.

Castle pushed off the door and held one hand out to her. "Come on, let's get you to bed. I want you to catch at least a few hours of sleep before you have to go out there and convict criminals."

Kate accepted his hand and slid off the stool, landing on sore feet. "But what about this mess?" She pointed at the loft which looked like a horde of elephants had trampled through.

"I already called my cleaning service, they'll take care of it."

Inside the bedroom, Castle grabbed her duffel bag and carried it into the bathroom. "You go first, I'll just clear enough space in the kitchen to prepare breakfast tomorrow."

Kate nodded gratefully, he always thought of everything.

She quickly got out of her dress and pulled on her PJs before removing her make-up. It was funny how barely ten days ago she had worried so much about wearing a baggy t-shirt to bed and confronting Castle without make-up and now she didn't even give it a second thought.

She had just squirted some toothpaste onto her brush when she heard a soft knock on the door.

"Come in," she mumbled around the brush in her mouth and through the mirror saw Castle entering the bathroom.

He started brushing his teeth as well and Kate couldn't help but smile at their reflection.

"What's so funny?" Castle asked.

"Nothing," she replied. "Just ... content." She gave him another mint green smile and he smiled back at her.

"I'm glad."

They spit out and rinsed and Kate had to smile again. She was just so incredibly happy right now, she couldn't believe how much had changed to the better in her life in as little as six months.

In the bedroom she already found the bed turned down and crawled into the left side while he got rid of his slacks and dress shirt and reappeared wearing plaid flannel pants and a t-shirt. He crawled in next to her and pressed a sweet kiss to her lips before lying down and pulling her against his side.

"What time do you need to be at the Precinct tomorrow?" he asked, playing with a lock of her hair.

"Eight," she mumbled into his chest.

"I'll wake you in time. Good night, Kate."

But she had already fallen asleep.

XXX

When his alarm blared at half past six the next morning, Castle was about to simply ignore the fact that there were two children in his house that needed to go to school and one Detective that needed to go work and go back to sleep again. But, with a groan, he turned the alarm off and pushed the blankets off his body, the cold air that met his heated skin rousing him further.

He turned his head and found the aforementioned Detective peacefully asleep, her head pillowed on his arm. He pressed a quick kiss to her forehead before getting out of bed carefully.

He took a cold shower, and felt almost lively again afterwards. Sliding the last button in place on his shirt, he went into the kitchen, avoiding stepping on empty plastic cups, food crumbs and liquor stains in the process and started to toast some bread and pulled out all the spread he could find from the fridge and placed it on the counter. He didn't know what Louis usually had in the morning but hoped the boy was fine with a sandwich.

Castle quickly prepared both lunch and breakfast for both children before going upstairs to wake them. They looked tiny in Martha's large king-sized bed. He softly shook them awake and they followed him downstairs in their PJs, looking just as groggy as he did, even though they hadn't heard anything from the party last night. He joined them at the counter and ate a sandwich himself. Neither of them were much of a morning person so the meal was spent in relative silence.

By the time it was seven, Louis and Alexis went upstairs again to change, brush their teeth and pack their bags. Castle prepared his special coffee for Kate and went to wake her.

He sat down next to her on the bed and murmured her name. When she didn't budge, he began to softly stroke her shoulder and down her arm, but again, she didn't even twitch. Taking drastic action, he placed the cup of coffee on the bed in front of her and fawned the aroma into her nose. At last, she opened her eyes.

"Should I be offended that you wake up for coffee but not for me?" Castle chuckled and pressed a kiss to her hair before helping her into a sitting position.

"Am I even alive?" Kate asked, squinting her eyes to get his face into focus.

"Very much," Castle chuckled and handed her the cup. "I'll have a sandwich waiting for you in the kitchen whenever you're ready to leave this bed."

"Thanks. But I'll shower first I think," she said, running a hand through her thoroughly tangled hair.

Checking the time, Castle raced up the stairs first to help Alexis with her hair. Taking care of her very fine and tangled hair herself was still a little difficult for the eight-year-old and Castle had to comb it for her every morning. Alexis knew how to do a ponytail on herself but since she liked her hair long, it ended up more tangled than before every time she tried to run a comb through it herself.

Castle held onto Alexis' hair-ends with one hand while slowly working upwards.

"How do you want to wear your hair today?" he asked and nearly ran the comb over Alexis' ear when she turned her head to look at him.

"Do you think Kate would braid it for me?"

"I don't know but you should ask her. She'll be in the kitchen any minute." He handed his daughter the comb and a hair tie and went to help Louis who currently fought with a strand of hair that stuck out at an odd angle. Having experience with that, he helped him smooth it down with some water and hairspray he stole from Martha.

"This is going to be our secret," he stage-whispered to Louis as both of them tiptoed back into Martha's room to put the spray bottle back.

The boy grinned and Castle over exaggerated his tiptoeing, looking like a villain from a children's comic book, making Louis giggle softly.

Castle grabbed both the children's backpacks and carried them downstairs to the front door, before remembering he promised Kate a sandwich.

In a hurry, he popped two slices of bread into the toaster and showed the children their lunches.

"Is this what you usually have for lunch?" he asked Louis when he peered into his bag and broke into a smile.

Louis nodded in delight when he saw the candy bar Castle had snuck in. "I usually have a sandwich and some fruit, but no sweets."

Castle put a finger to his lips, saying "Shhh," when he heard Kate rummaging in his bedroom and Louis sprinted to his school bag and quickly hid his lunch in it before Kate could take away his candy bar.

Just as Kate stepped into the kitchen, Castle finished preparing her turkey sandwich, and she took a bite out of it while Louis snuggled into her side.

She smelled heavenly of cherries and the tips of her hair were still a little damp, leaving dark blotches on her royal blue shirt. When she started braiding Alexis' hair in-between taking bites out of her sandwich and asking Louis about how he'd slept, Castle was taken aback by how domestic the scene acting out in front of him was.

He checked his wrist watch just so he'd have something else to focus on and stop himself from fantasizing, but when he realized what time it was, he ushered the children to the front door.

"Come on you two, it's time to go to school," he called and retrieved both children's coats from the closet and helped them into them.

Kate still had a few minutes and Castle motioned for her to take her time when she hurriedly bit into her sandwich again and downed the last of her coffee.

"Just don't forget to lock up," he told her, even though it was superfluous. She was a cop, of course she'd lock up.

By the time he slipped into his own coat, Alexis was already by the elevator, afraid of being late, and Castle only managed to point to the silver thermos bottle in the kitchen, telling her he made her some coffee so she wouldn't fall asleep at work, before Alexis pulled him away from the door.

He made a phone sign with his thumb and pinky, mouthing he'd call her later but didn't know if she'd caught it. He seriously needed to teach that daughter of his some patience.


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Author's Note: I'm just going to leave you with this while I spend a week in Croatia. I won't be bringing my laptop so I probably won't update again before next weekend. Sorry about that!**

**Chapter 18**

But instead of calling, Castle went to see her.

He knew for a fact that Kate picked Louis up from school during her lunch time most days and drove him home where she made him something to eat before she went back to the Precinct. He hoped today was one of those days and decided to head her off in front of the Precinct and propose his idea to her.

At a quarter to three, when he was just about to leave so he could pick Alexis up on time, she finally descended the exterior staircase of the Precinct. He stepped into her field of vision with a grin and another coffee in his hand.

Stunned, she stopped two steps above him. When she spoke, she sounded pleasantly surprised. "Castle, what are you doing here?"

"Bringing you coffee," he explained simply and handed her the cardboard cup from the coffee shop on the corner.

She immediately took a large sip. "You came here just for this?" she asked with a soft smile and Castle shrugged. "Yes and no," he told her. "I came here to bring you coffee and to make a suggestion."

Kate got out her car keys and pointed at her Crown Vic down the road. Castle understood and followed her to the car, his hand repeatedly brushing hers on the way. Kate greeted a few fellow Officers and Detectives but didn't move to put any distance between herself and Castle, if anything, she leaned a little closer.

"Am I going to like your suggestion?" Kate asked once she slid behind the steering wheel.

"I'm sure you will." She will, Castle was certain of it. "You see, after the ordeal I put you through last night, I thought you deserved some luxury."

"Luxury?"

"Yeah, you know, a nice dinner, a bubble bath and a good night's sleep."

"And by 'good night's sleep' I suppose you mean a night spent in sinfully soft 800 thread count sheets and a mattress that feels like a giant marshmallow?"

He gave her a sheepish look and a shrug of his shoulders. "I'll even massage your feet." Yep, he'd seen her flats and knew her feet were sore from those ridiculously high pumps she'd worn last night.

"You do know I wanted to come last night, right?" Kate argued with a slight frown when she came to a stop at a red light. "You don't have to feel guilty about it, I wanted to come and I had a great time, you don't need to make up for anything."

"I know. But still," Castle whined. He just wanted to spend time with her and pamper her. "I'd even bring the kids to school again in the morning so you can sleep a little longer."

Kate put the car into first gear when the lights changed and hit the gas. "I have the day off tomorrow," she informed him.

"See? Even better! You can sleep in! Please?" He was begging and it was a little pathetic, but he'd gotten a taste of what it was like to sleep next to Kate Beckett last night and wanted a repitition of it.

"Fine," she gave in at last, "But you'll have to think of a way to explain this to the kids."

"We could just put in one movie after the other until they fall asleep. No explanation needed. Simple as that."

Kate just glared at him. He hadn't meant it, anyway.

"Fine. We'll just tell them the truth?" Castle suggested. "That you would like to use my bathtub and sleep in, while I take them to school?"

"Sounds good," Kate agreed and turned onto the street the school was located on.

"Slow down, Kate, shouldn't I get out here somewhere and walk the rest?"

Kate did slow down, though not to find a spot to drop him off, but out of surprise. "What? Don't be ridiculous, Castle. Unless you want to?" she added after a beat and glanced at him.

"Me? No. No, I don't."

With a satisfied smile, Kate sped up again and found a parking spot right in front of the school where parents, nannies and children were already romping about.

XXX

Castle and Kate had agreed on meeting around seven that evening, after dinner. Her argument had been that she hadn't spent a lot of one-on-one time with Louis lately and wanted to remedy that.

Upon hearing this, Castle had realized that he and Alexis hadn't had a lot of time to themselves either the past few days. Oftentimes he'd been stuck in meetings with either Gina or Paula till late in the evening, or Alexis had fallen asleep on the couch after dinner, exhausted from spending the day at a friend's house.

So he'd helped her with her homework and then taken her to the playground afterwards. Despite her age, Alexis still loved going to the playground. And he loved pushing her on the swings and cheering her on when she was on the jungle gym.

Now they were home again, in the loft that looked as neat as it ever had. His cleaning service had done a pretty amazing job and Castle had re-arranged the furniture to the way it had been before. All evidence that there had been a party last night has been successfully removed.

He and Alexis made spaghetti with meatballs together. Alexis was in charge of the silverware and the spaghetti, trying one every couple of minutes to tell him when they were al dente, and he made the sauce and the meatballs.

After dinner they did the dishes together and Alexis helped him set up the guest bed in her room for Louis. She was excited to have him sleep over again, but sometimes Castle couldn't help but wonder if she was truly excited about seeing Louis or if it was actually about seeing Kate. Alexis had a serious case of girl crush going on, and he was sure she was going to love the idea of him and Kate being in a relationship.

At seven o' clock, there was a sharp knock on the door and Castle and Alexis opened it together.

"Hi Kate! Hi Louis!" Alexis squealed before quickly hugging both Beckett's. She was still a little shy about that. She was so impressed by Kate that it made her a little timid at the strangest times.

"Look what we got!" Louis proudly held up the movie of _Cinderella 2_. "I chose it because I thought Alexis might like the princess."

"Thank you, thank you!" Alexis was jumping up and down with excitement, her ponytail bobbing violently, and then she pulled Louis through the living room to the TV, impatient to start the movie.

Castle couldn't actually quite believe what he was witnessing, such selflessness in a seven year old boy was unbelievable to him.

"He really likes her," Kate said quietly and shrugged it off as if it were nothing, but her eyes were shining with pride and motherly love.

"She likes him too. He truly is a great boy," Castle replied just as quietly before leading Kate over to the couch with a hand low on her back.

"Popcorn or ice cream?" he asked everybody around.

"Popcorn!" was Louis' and Alexis' united answer, Kate also nodded her agreement, so Castle went to make a bowl.

When he came back, he sat down next to Kate who had curled into one corner of the couch. Louis and Alexis sat down next to him and they started passing the bowl of popcorn around as the movie started. Somewhere close to the end of the movie Castle held the bowl out for Kate to take, his eyes glued to the screen, but she never reached for it. Turning his head, his gaze fell on a sleeping Kate. He chuckled softly, catching Louis' and Alexis' attention.

"Kate fell asleep," he whispered.

Louis and Alexis both leaned over him to get a better look.

"She looks so beautiful, when she sleeps," Alexis murmured, completely in awe.

She was right, in her sleep, Kate had an air of peacefulness about her that Castle wished she were able to have all the time. Louis destroyed their quiet moment of admiration and serenity by cheekily mumbling, "Sometimes she grunts in her sleep."

Castle had to press a hand to his mouth to hide his grin. Graceful, ladylike Kate grunted in her sleep? That made her even more loveable in his eyes.

"Shouldn't we wake her?" Alexis asked. "You always say that sleeping on the couch is bad for your back, daddy."

"You're right," Castle agreed and stroked over Kate's shoulders, softly calling her name.

When she didn't wake up, he nudged Louis' shoulder and winked, "Maybe she needs to be kissed awake by a prince."

Louis fully crawled over Castle and settled in the tiny space between his mother's feet and Castle's thighs, planting one kiss after another on Kate's cheek.

After a particularly smacking one, Kate finally blinked her eyes open.

"I did it!" Louis cheered, "I kissed her awake!"

"Great job," Castle congratulated, while Kate drowsily wiped her wet cheek.

"You fell asleep," Alexis explained and Castle made a show of checking his wrist watch.

"Well, it _is_ kind of late," he stressed and both children got the hint. Time for bed.

They raced up the stairs while Castle and Kate carried the half-empty bowl of popcorn into the kitchen, as well as the dirty glasses.

"Hey, do you still want to take that bubble bath or do you want to go straight to bed?"

"Would you mind running me one?" Kate asked, slightly hesitant, but when Castle shook his head, she smiled brightly.

"Not at all. In fact, I'll run it right now so you can start soaking after we put the children to bed."

He went into his office but stepped back out after a second. "Lavender or vanilla?" he asked her.

"Vanilla," she replied without having to think twice.

Castle turned on the tap and added a generous amount of vanilla bubbles and salt into the water, watching with satisfaction as the foamy blanket on the water grew thicker and thicker. Turning the water to a small rivulet, so it wouldn't overflow while they tucked the children in, he found Kate looking at photos in the living room.

"She was adorable," she said, picking up the picture of a small Alexis on her first birthday with cake crumbs on her face.

"I know, right? Especially with that lock of of orange hair."

"Daddy, we're ready," Alexis called from upstairs and Kate put the picture back, following Castle to the second floor. When they entered Alexis' room, both children were already under their blankets.

Castle sat down on Alexis' bed and tucked the blankets further around her, before pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Sleep tight, Pumpkin."

She gave him a sleepy smile. "Night daddy, I love you."

He smiled back down at her before giving her nose a soft tweak, making her giggle faintly. "Love you, too."

He waved at Louis before meeting Kate in the door frame, turning off the lights and closing the door.

"So," Castle whispered with a large grin on his face once they were by themselves in the hallway. "Finally alone."

"Finally," Kate agreed keeping her voice equally low and linking her hands behind Castle's neck.

"Let's get you into that bath and into bed afterwards, hm?" Castle suggested after pressing a light kiss to her lips.

"I'd like that," Kate responded, unwinding her arms from behind Castle's neck and taking one of his hands instead as they walked down the stairs, through his bedroom and into his bathroom.

The water had just reached the right height and Castle quickly turned the steady stream off, swiping one thick finger through the water, checking the temperature.

"It's just perfect I believe," he told her, noticing how hungrily she eyed the bath. "Enjoy," he ordered softly, slowly backing out of the slightly steamy room, allowing her to revel in the tub in private.

"Call when you need something," he told her just before stepping out of the room, "I'll be in my office."

She nodded and he finally left the room, closing the door behind him.

XXX

Kate quickly stripped out of the worn jeans and the thin, ruby-red sweater she had carefully picked out this evening, leaving her in just her underwear. She once again took note of the many large mirrors in Castle's bathroom and turned and pivoted in front of them, taking herself in from various angles.

She felt rejuvenated from her short nap on the couch and actually took the time to admire her body. If there was one thing in her life she could always rely on, it was her body. At the age of seventeen she had come to terms with the fact that she was never going to be curvy and the years with the Police Force and the physical toll that came with them had only added more definition to her stomach and stretched the skin tighter over the sharp angles of her hipbones.

She had never felt self-conscious about her body, she knew what it was capable of and was proud of it, but in a fleeting moment of lowered defenses, pictures of Gina popped up in her head. Tall, womanly Gina. With her long, toned legs, the enthralling sweep of her waist and a hint of cleavage beneath her designer dress, Gina had been all soft, feminine curves while she is all definite angles and solid edges.

But then she remembered the way Castle had looked at her when he'd first seen her in her dress last night and how he hadn't been able to keep his fingers off her exposed shoulder and hadn't even attempted to hide his desire for her.

Bearing the soft look of deep admiration and something more, something she wasn't ready to admit to herself yet, Castle regarded her with, in mind, she stripped off her underwear and stepped into the tub.

It was the first bath she had taken in years and she sighed deeply as she settled back against the tub, the rich smell of vanilla in her nose. She leaned her head back against the rim, the tips of her short hair dipping shyly into the water, and closed her eyes, the soreness from her lower back and feet from wearing too high heels for too many hours these two days simply disappearing.

Her thoughts drifted from the evening before to the very beginning of their relationship in November, and she had to admit that there had never been a time where Castle hadn't secretly - and not so secretly - leered at her, admired her, and she almost snorted at her ridiculous behavior not just ten minutes ago. The man had stared freely at her ass from the very first time they met, she was sure of it, how could she have ever doubted that he wouldn't find her attractive? Castle was an honest man, the trait she probably admired most about him, and with every kiss and every touch he had made sure to let her know how much he cared about her. Not once in the six months they have known each other had he given her any reason to doubt herself, to let her feel like she wasn't worthy of something. Contrary actually, he had used every opportunity she had given him to tell her how amazed at her he was. She shook her head at her own foolishness; nobody before had ever cared for her, about her, as much as he did, he didn't deserve to be doubted like that, reduced to being so superficial. Least of all by her.

"Castle," she called out, loud enough for him to hear her in his office. It was time to take this relationship to the next level. She loved him and she thought she had seen hints of that very same emotion in his eyes, his kisses and his touches and she knew, she _knew_, he would never hurt her or her son deliberately and if things didn't work out between them, she knew he'd keep the promise he had made her in the Hamptons, and that was reassurance enough to throw all caution to the wind, to dive in with him and give him what he deserved; her full investment into this relationship.

The door to the bathroom opened a crack and she heard Castle's voice, slightly muffled, from the other side of it, "Everything okay?"

"Keep me company?" she asked, looking down at the thick foam of white bubbles, that still protected her modesty from roaming eyes.

She heard a startled intake of breath from the other side of the door and had to stifle a smile. Slowly, his head peeked around the door. "K-Kate, are you sure?" he asked her, stammering slightly.

Her question came out of nowhere for him and she could see the surprise on his face.

She nodded, patting the rim of the bathtub with one hand, motioning for him to sit down.

He followed her request and sat down on the floor, his back against the tub.

"You okay in there?" he asked again, turning his head slightly so he could see her face.

Kate nodded again and ran her right hand through his soft hair, massaging his scalp. "Never better."

There was a comfortable silence in the bathroom. Castle was slowly relaxing against the tub after the initial shock had worn off and she kept up the ministrations of her hand.

"I've been thinking, Castle," Kate softly interrupted the silence after a few minutes and folded both her arms on the rim of the tub, laying her chin on them and looking down at Castle. He turned his head and looked up at her with a small and loving smile.

"I want more," she told him softly, the corners of her mouth tilting up in a hopeful smile.

"More?" Castle asked her, confused. His eyes darted to the water in the bath, thinking she might want more bubbles but she kept her gaze steady on him and when he met her eyes again, it dawned on him.

"You want more," he repeated with a slightly befuddled expression, "More of ... this." He pointed from him to her and back to him again, the motion slow with a hint of hesitancy.

Kate nodded. "I want it all," she told him, smiling wider by the second, "And I want everyone to know, no more hiding, no more holding back."

"Oh Kate," Castle sighed and turned around fully, his warm hands finding her cheeks and his mouth meeting hers in a tender kiss. She slid her hands into his thick head of hair once again and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss.

"Help me out," she breathed after he pulled back.

He stood immediately and took her outstretched hands in his, helping her to balance herself on the slippery floor of the tub. She slowly rose out of the water, a few bubbles sticking to her skin in the process and she had to stifle a smile when she saw how hard he concentrated on not just staring at her unabashedly.

As soon as she was safely standing on the plush carpet, Castle reached for a towel rack behind him, grabbed a large, white towel, threw it around her shoulders, and pulled her in for another drugging kiss that had her toes curling into the carpet.

Kate rose to her tiptoes and wound her arms around his neck, the towel falling off her shoulders in the process, leaving her bare in the humid air of the bathroom.

She pressed her still slightly damp body firmly into Castle's, who removed his hands from her hair and began to explore the naked skin of her back and shoulders.

When he got a little bolder and squeezed her ass, she gasped into the kiss, tightening her arms around his neck and pressing herself even more into him. She couldn't get close enough. All those lonely nights of the past six months where her mind had been in overdrive made themselves known now and left her with a frantic urgency.

She heard him mumble something into the kiss but she ignored him, kissing him back with even more fervor than before, one hand slithering down his chest to find a strip of skin underneath his sweater, while the other searched for the buckle of his belt. Desire and arousal were flooding her veins, pooling low in her abdomen and she poured everything she had to offer into the kiss.

It wasn't until Castle almost forcefully untangled her arms from him and took a step back, his lips red and swollen, his hair a disheveled mess from where her hands had run through it. He took a couple of deep breaths, pleasant shock and disbelief written across his features. "Kate, if we don't plan on taking this any further tonight, we need to stop," he told her with wide eyes once he had enough oxygen in his lungs to form the words.

"What don't you understand about 'wanting it all'? No stopping," Kate declared and hauled herself back against him, desperate to feel and see more of him. She let out a frustrated growl and nipped at his bottom lip as a punishment when he didn't immediately respond and even took another step back.

"Let's do it the right way then," he told her, both of his hands on her hips, keeping her from jumping him completely, something she was about to do if he didn't move things to the bedroom soon or lost some of his clothes.

There was a wrong way of doing this? She arched an eyebrow at him in confusion and he pulled her against his chest, wrapping his arms around her, trapping her eager arms against her body in the process. He gentled her immediately when she tried to roughly force his lips apart with hers, eliciting a chuckle from him. He kept kissing her softly, tenderly until he trusted her enough to keep from attacking and clawing at him furthermore and let his hands roam once again. They first traveled down the length of her spine before climbing up the stairs of her ribcage, his thumbs brushing the undersides of her breasts, wrestling a deep moan from her lips, and all of a sudden, she found going slow wasn't so bad and approved of his pace, following his lead.

She let her hands slide under his black sweater and ran them up his stomach to his firm chest, loving the feel of his warm skin beneath her fingers. He took a step back so she could rid him of the sweater and he finally took her in completely for the first time.

He took his time, letting his gaze travel over every stray freckle and mole, running light fingertips down her body as if memorizing every detail, and she found herself faltering a little under his intensive observation. But what she saw in his eyes when he found hers again knocked the breath out of her. He looked at her like she was some kind of godlike creature, total awe and love radiating from his eyes.

"God, you're magnificent," he mumbled, leaned in and captured her lips in a loving kiss before trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses along her jaw and down her neck, only stopping to softly nibble at her prominent clavicle.

All insecurity she had had up to this point was now tossed out of the window, he couldn't look at her like that and not mean what he said.

She pulled his face up to hers again, meeting his lips in another tender kiss while walking him backwards out of the bathroom into the bedroom.

Goose bumps immediately covered her whole body when she stepped out of the hot and humid bathroom into the cool and air conditioned bedroom.

Castle immediately began rubbing his hands up and down her bare arms. "Want me to to turn up the heat?"

"Oh, don't worry about it, I trust you to keep me warm," she said with a salacious smile and a flirtatious flick of her eyebrows. And he did. Twice.


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Author's Note: I'm back and dusted off my Twitter account ( kbymyside). Still not quite sure how to use it, haha, but if you follow me I'll try to keep you updated on how the writing is going. Also, thank you so much for the continued support!**

**Chapter 19**

The next morning Kate awoke to a tickling sensation on her back. She was lying on her side, her bare back facing Castle. She knew that he probably was the perpetrator and didn't even bother opening her eyes when she questioned him. "Castle, what are you doing?"

"And good morning to you, too," he chuckled and pressed a kiss in-between her shoulder blades, ignoring her question. Shortly after, the feather-light touches on her back continued.

She finally decided to turn her head and was met with two blue, innocently blinking, puppy-dog eyes. She knew something was up.

"What did you do?" she asked him, her head flopping back on the pillow. She hadn't gotten a lot of sleep after last night and was still too tired to hold her head up in a twisted position like that for long.

"Inspiration hit," he told her simply, making her groan with annoyance. What was it with him and riddles in the morning?

She turned her head again and he held up his right hand, holding a pen, looking sheepishly.

"Inspiration hit? So you wrote on my ... back?" She was hoping she was still asleep. "You couldn't have used your notebook?"

"Well," he started to explain, "When I woke up I was face to face with this large, smooth expanse of skin and-"

"Large expanse of skin?" She was irritated. Was he implying she was big? Now she was really hoping she was still asleep. "Are you trying to insult me or is this some kind of a really weird and twisted compliment?"

Castle opened his mouth and desperately thought of the right thing to say. "Uhh ... I was actually saying that I really love your back and I didn't want to leave the beautiful, naked woman in my bed to get my notebook but the words just needed to be written down."

"Good save," Kate murmured, her head hitting the pillow once again. "Now tell me what it says." She wriggled her back at him in encouragement.

But Castle evaded her question. "They are just some nonsense scribbles."

"They must be important to you or else you would not have chosen to write them down. On my back of all places," she pointed out, encouraging him further to tell her what had been going on in his mind in the early hours of dawn.

"It's basically just your name along with a bunch of doodles and adjectives. Here it says passionate," he softly traced the hollow between two ribs and then moved up to her left shoulder blade, "Here it says brave, and here it says golden." His fingertips came to a stop near the base of her neck and she wondered what other words were imprinted on her skin.

He misinterpreted her silence and continued to talk. "I know it's awful, just some sleep-addled scribbles -"

She turned around and silenced him with a kiss. "No, it's not, it's different but I like it. I just wish I had the same way with words and could give some of it back to you. I wish I could tell you that I had actually given up on the hope of finding someone to lean on until you came along and how much your trust and support means to me. But what I can tell you is, that I am done being afraid, I don't want to hold back anymore, Rick. I want this, all of this."

Wordlessly, he wrapped his arms around her and leaned in for a long, sensual kiss full of hope and promise. "I believe you just did tell me. And one day soon I'll tell you _exactly _how much you mean to me," he promised while hovering above her.

Kate looked up at him with wide eyes. She had definitely been thinking those three little words last night and her heart thumped faster at the prospect of him having done the same.

She angled her head up, pressing a soft kiss to his lips that quickly turned lighthearted when he tickled the soft spot just beneath her ribcage he had discovered last night and she squirmed to get away from him. Just like that, the heavy cloud of emotion and severity that had surrounded them just moments before, was gone and they were back to their usual, impish selves.

"I'll probably need your help washing the ink off my back," Kate told him with a playful smirk and Castle's hands immediately started dancing along her sides.

"Wanna know what it says here?" he asked, his voice gravely, as his hand dipped under her back and traveled lower, lower, lower, until her hips arched into his and she gasped. "Sexy as hell."

"Castle, that's _smudging_ the ink. Shower. Now."

XXX

Much later, they were sitting in the kitchen, eating blueberry pancakes, Kate's favorite, and drinking coffee.

"Did the kids get to school okay?" Kate suddenly asked, looking slightly panicked because she only now remembered that they both had children that were required to attend school.

Castle chuckled and nodded. "Yeah, I woke them and made them some cereal and walked them to school afterwards. You slept through the whole thing, didn't even twitch when I crawled back into bed with you."

"Yeah well, it's not like I had much sleep the last two nights," Kate scolded him lightly as she took a sip of her coffee.

"Are you saying you would have rather slept last night?"

Immediately memories of last night flooded her mind, coloring Kate's cheeks the faintest pink. "No," she grinned and shook her head, "No, last night was pretty amazing."

Castle chuckled again and tangled his hand in her hair while pressing a kiss to her lips.

"So, when do we start telling everyone?" he asked her after finishing his last pancake, an excited twinkle in his eyes.

"I thought we could tell the kids today and your the mother the next time you see her and work ourselves up from there?" she suggested, hoping he would get the hint and not publish a huge statement in the papers the next morning. She _was_ all in, she wanted everyone to know that they were a couple but she was still a very private person and disliked the press. Probably a job requirement for a police Detective. She knew, as soon as the news got out she was expected make appearances with Castle and actually be nice to the press.

"Sounds good to me," Castle smiled. "How do we tell the kids? I mean, do we tell them together or ... How do we do it, what do you think?"

Kate thought about that for a minute before coming to a conclusion. "I think we should tell them separately, that way they are not afraid to express their true feelings and ask questions. At least that's the way I would prefer to do it with Louis, but if you want me to be there when you tell Alexis, I'll be there."

"No, no," Castle shook his head, "You're right. We should tell them separately and be there solely for them in case they don't take the news too well."

Kate hadn't even thought about that possibility. Her blood ran cold at the thought that Alexis might not accept her as her dad's girlfriend. She knew Louis probably wouldn't have a problem with the news, he liked Castle and Alexis very much.

"Relax," Castle said softly and placed a warm palm soothingly on her thigh, "We will make this work, no matter what happens. And if you're afraid of Alexis' reaction, remember that she absolutely adores you." He gave her thigh a soft squeeze and she believed him. They were going to make this work.

She shot him a thankful smile and he got up to carry the plates to the sink. Wanting to be of assistance, she grabbed her empty cup and slid off the barstool. When her feet touched the ground she was yet again reminded of their activities last night. And this morning . The muscles of her thighs were protesting even more now than they were when she woke up two hours earlier, along with all those other muscles she hadn't used in quite some time.

Seeing her freeze and take in a sharp breath, Castle was by her side immediately. "Everything okay?" he asked, not knowing if he had reason to worry about her or not.

She nodded and took a tentative step towards the sink but sitting still for so long on the unforgiving barstool had upset those muscles even more.

"Kate, are you sure?" Castle inquired, stepping in her way, giving her no chance but to tell him the truth.

She sighed and rolled her eyes, knowing that now there was no way out. "I'm just a little ... sore," she admitted, not meeting his gaze.

That was plenty reason for Castle to be concerned. "Did I hurt you?"

"No!" Her hands immediately flew to his cheeks, "No. No, you didn't hurt me," she shook her head for emphasis and Castle relaxed again.

She regarded him with a slightly amused smirk but there was an undercurrent of sternness in her voice when she spoke again, "Next time you think I wouldn't tell you if you hurt me, I will be offended."

"Noted," he replied with apologetic eyes. He hadn't meant to imply that he doesn't trust her.

XXX

When it was time to pick up Louis and Alexis from school, Castle immediately placed his right hand low on her back, wanting to be physically connected to her in some way.

She glared at him but he just shrugged his shoulders. "What? I can do that now," he grinned a little smugly. "Know what else I can do?" he breathed into her ear, suddenly very close. "This." He pressed a kiss into her hair, right above her ear and noted with satisfaction that she was smiling.

When they turned onto the street the school was located on, Castle brought a respectful distance between them, mindful of their children not knowing the big news yet.

"Call me tonight?" he asked when they came to a stop in front of the school where children were already streaming out of the gate.

Kate nodded and eyed the other parents and nannies that were giving them curious glances.

Castle hadn't missed it either. For months now the others had eyed the two of them suspiciously but he and Kate had never given them anything to confirm those suspicions. He was sure that by now most of them suspected that something was going on between them, as he had taken Louis home with him a few times and he and Kate had either arrived or left the school together more often in the past. Hadn't stopped the other women from chatting him up though.

Before either of them could worry any further, Alexis skipped through the gate and towards them. "Hi daddy! Hi Kate!"

"Hey Pumpkin," he grinned before taking her bag. He gave Kate a small wave and a reassuring smile before starting the walk home.

At home, Alexis went to do her homework and he got a head start on the ravioli - Alexis' favorite, especially when he made them himself. It was not a bribe, he didn't think he needed to bribe Alexis for this, but he still felt better doing something to be on her good side.

He was just preparing the filling when Alexis came into the kitchen. He saw her looking at the different ingredients on the counter and the pasta dough sitting in a bowl and saw her putting the pieces together in her head.

She came to stand beside him, gripping the kitchen counter. "Is something wrong, daddy?" she asked, her voice low as if she didn't want to ask that question at all.

"Nothing is wrong, what makes you think that?" he replied, maybe a little too loud because Alexis directed her wide, blue eyes at him, pressing her lips into a thin line, a sign that something bothered her.

"There's only two reasons why you make ravioli. For my birthday, which is in September, not April, or when something is going on. The last time you made them was when you told me mom wasn't going to be there for my birthday." Alexis now stared at her hands that still clutched at the counter, her eyes watery at the memory and the fear of what her father had to say to her this time.

Castle closed his eyes and briefly cursed his daughter's receptiveness. She had always been able to read him, had always known when something was up. He had never been able to hide anything from her or get away with a lie. It was something that had made her already tender heart even more fragile.

He opened his eyes again and placed his hand on her back, rubbing it up and down in a motion that had already calmed Alexis as a baby. "You're right, Pumpkin, there is something I need to tell you, but I think you'll like it. Why don't you start rolling out the pasta dough so we can finish those ravioli?" he suggested, knowing how eager Alexis was to help.

She nodded her head and removed the dough from the bowl and then tackled it with the rolling pin.

Castle watched her for a couple of seconds before returning back to his task, the filling. There was an uncomfortable silence. Alexis was still worrying and he didn't know what else to say to her without making it sound too forced so he decided to just get it over with.

"Alexis," he started, trying to keep his voice neutral , "You like Kate and Louis, right?"

"Yeah," Alexis replied warily, looking at him with a confused look on her face. She didn't know where this was going. "Louis is my friend and Kate is fun."

"Would you like it if they spent more time with us? If we got to see them more often?"

"Like for pizza dinners and movie nights?" she asked, still spreading out the dough on the counter top.

"That too, but also for sleepovers and some weekends maybe?"

"Are you going to marry her too?" Alexis suddenly asked, her blue eyes trained on him and the spoon Castle had been holding clattered loudly into the bowl.

"W-what?" He was still holding the hand that had been grasping the spoon over the bowl but he was too shocked to move a muscle.

"Gina came over for movie nights in the beginning and then she started staying the night and came by on the weekends and the holidays and then you married her," Alexis quickly explained her reasoning, as if it was totally logical. And then suddenly, her eyes got watery again and she started rolling the dough with a little more force than before. "And then you broke up and I never saw her anymore," she said, her voice so tiny and raw it made Castle's heart clench.

She and Gina had not been best friends, had not done much together, but Gina had nevertheless been a part of Castle's and therefore Alexis' life for eighteen months. Alexis had gotten used to the woman. Even though Gina hadn't known anything about children, and had never been a very emotional person who could deal with a crying child, she had made an effort for Alexis and that's what had mattered to the girl the most. Gina had cared for her, in her own way, when her mother hadn't. After they had broken up, there was no reason for Gina to come to the loft anymore, they held their meetings at Black Pawn and Alexis had barely seen the woman anymore. There was simply no reason for it from Gina's point of view, she was not a kid-person.

"Alexis," he said, and removed her hands from the rolling pin, taking both of her tiny ones in his large ones, "Kate and I are in a relationship but we are not getting married, at least not yet. Maybe, _maybe_ some time in the far future but for now we are just enjoying being a normal couple."

He looked at his daughter but she didn't look reassured at all, she actually looked confused, like she still didn't know what was going on. He tried to tackle the issue from a different angle.

"Would you ever let Kate go as your friend?" he asked her and Alexis shook her head violently.

"See, neither would I," Castle said, squeezing her hands. "I can't tell you what's going to happen in the future, I can't promise you anything, especially not that we won't break up, but no matter what happens, Kate will always be your friend. She's different from Gina."

"She will always be my friend?" Alexis asked, a glimmer of faint hope in her eyes.

"Yes," ne nodded enthusiastically, "She said so herself, you can even ask her!"

That brought a relieved smile to Alexis' face and she threw herself into her father's arms. "I like Kate very much," she told him quietly, her voice slightly muffled by his sweater.

"Me too," he responded just as quietly and kissed her hair as he hugged her back.

"But daddy?" she asked after a minute and tilted her head to look up at him.

He gave her an encouraging squeeze that hold her to continue.

"If you and Kate are together now, is Louis my step-brother? Because that would be a little weird," she crinkled her nose at that thought, "Because he is my friend."

Castle chuckled quietly. "He is not your step-brother. But you could think of him as a friend you can't get rid off, even if you are fighting with him."

Alexis thought about that before nodding her head. "Okay."

"Okay," Castle repeated, relieved, now that the topic had been discussed. "Do you have any more questions or do you want to continue with the ravioli?"

"Ravioli!" Alexis grinned and grabbed the cutter from the counter to carefully cut the dough into equal squares.

She handed her dad two squares at a time and he molded them around a spoonful of filling, before making sure they stuck together and throwing them into the boiling water.

"Kate's your girlfriend," Alexis stated happily with a large grin after they had thrown the last ravioli into the water.

"Kate is my girlfriend," Castle confirmed and Alexis squealed happily and hugged him once more. That was the reaction he had hoped for. He hugged her back tightly.

XXX

"So, how'd go with Louis?"

Alexis was in bed already, Castle had tucked her in, told her he loved her and she had still been smiling broadly when he'd turned off the light. She had been doing so all evening. He desperately wanted to know how Kate's son had taken the news so he had decided to call her.

He heard Kate sigh over the phone. Not a good sign.

"I honestly don't know Castle," she told him, her voice serious. "He has been very quiet all evening, kind of lost in thought. I think he doesn't know what it means, he has never been in a situation like this before. Maybe he just needs some time to wrap his head around it."

"It's a big change for him," Castle said softly, having half expected the boy to react similar to this. "Do you want me to talk to him?" he offered. He had no idea what he was going to say to Louis but he figured he at least owed him that much after being the reason for such a shift of things.

"Thanks for the offer Castle, but this is something he and I need to do together," Kate said, sounding a little disappointed by the whole situation.

"I understand. But if there's anything I can do to help, just say the word, okay?" It was important to him that Kate knew he'd always be there for her and would always try to help her out.

"I will, thanks."

"Don't worry about it too much, I'm sure by tomorrow everything will look different. Children have a way of handling change extremely well. If not, just bring him over, Alexis' happiness is contagious, he can't not be infected by it."

That got a small laugh from Kate. "It's true though, she really knows how to brighten one's day."

"She certainly does," Castle chuckled, remembering how his little girl had skipped around the loft all evening.

He heard Kate trying to stifle a yawn over the line but he picked up on it anyway.

"Get some sleep, Kate. We'll talk tomorrow?"

"I'll call you and tell you how it went," she confirmed.

"Alright then, sweet dreams."

"Sleep tight, Castle." And then the line went dead.


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Chapter 20**

When Kate picked Louis up from school the next day, he still had that troubled look in his eyes. Their talk last night hadn't gone too well - Kate had tried to explain that not a lot would change for them, that it would still only be the two of them and that they'd only see Rick and Alexis a little more often, but Louis had only looked confused. Before Kate had come up with a way to explain the new situation better, Louis had already closed off.

He used to do that a lot when he was little and overwhelmed or over stimulated. As a toddler he would seek her out at the crowded playground, cling to her until she picked him up and then go limp in her arms, unseeing, and lost in his own little world. He would do that too at preschool sometimes. His teacher had even contacted Kate because of it.

Kate had found him at the table this morning,staring into space with his spoon held loosely in his hand and Kate had wondered if this was her doing. She has never been a very open person and preferred to deal with her problems in the seclusion on her bedroom and even though she tried to change and be a good role model for Louis - because bottling up your emotions was not the right way to deal with them - she can't help feeling like a failure.

She took his hand and led him down the street where she parked her car.

"Are you very hungry?" she asked and had to squeeze Louis' hand once before he focused his attention on her and replied.

"Not really."

"Do you want to come to the Precinct with me for about half an hour? I need to finish some paperwork but I could drop you off at the morgue and afterwards we'll go grocery shopping and get everything we need for some lasagna?"

For that she got a small smile and Louis climbed into the back seat with a triumphant "Yes, lasagna!"

They spent the drive to the Precinct mostly in silence and Louis was a little giddy in the elevator down to the morgue. He loved Lanie and spent a lot of time with his Godmother. Lunches with her were his favorite; Lanie never made him eat vegetables and completely spoiled him by allowing him to have as many cookies as he wanted.

Down at the morgue, Kate turned left, going the opposite direction of the autopsy rooms to the hallway where the offices and labs were located on. Despite spending a lot of time with Lanie down here, Louis had never seen a dead body, and Kate made sure it would stay that way.

Lanie was expecting them, so when Louis barged in the door without knocking, she was already out of her chair, pulling him in for a tight hug and smothering him with kisses.

"Louis, my dearest boy!"

He only grinned up at her and waited until she was finished kissing his cheeks.

"Giving your mommy trouble I hear, huh?"

What was meant to be a light-hearted comment, hit the nail right on the head, and Louis glanced at Kate with fearful eyes, who in return glared at Lanie.

In her frustration last night, she'd sent Lanie a text, asking for advice and had failed to mention this morning when she called that their problem was not yet resolved.

Lanie held her hands up in defense and mouthed 'sorry', but the damage was already done. Not that it was her fault.

Kate stepped forward, pulled Louis closer to her and pressed a kiss into his hair. "He's not giving me trouble. He's never giving me trouble. Right?"

Louis looked at her with shy eyes and then dropped his gaze, his shoulders tense under Kate's hands.

She knelt down on one knee to get a better look at his face and found his brown eyes glistening with unshed tears. "You're not giving me trouble Louis, but do you want to tell me what's going on? What's scaring you?"

Louis shook his head and stepped forward to hide his face in his mother's neck. At a loss, she sought out Lanie's eyes. she didn't know what the problem was and how to tackle it if he wouldn't talk to her. They both had never been in a situation like this. Of course she'd been in a relationship since Louis was born - or rather, tried being in one - but Louis had only been three years old and Kate had made sure Louis didn't get attached to the guy. She hadn't been ready back then, too protective of herself and her son and had always kept a foot out the door. But now she was ready and unlike then, she _wanted_ this relationship and wanted Louis to have a relationship with Castle.

Lanie dropped to the floor next to Kate and rubbed a hand up and down Louis' back. "Louis, baby, do you not like Rick and Alexis?"

As her best friend, Kate had given Lanie the basics - that Rick was a writer and Alexis his eight year-old daughter that attended the same school as Louis and that they'd met a few months ago. She didn't know Rick was Richard Castle and Kate intended to keep it that way until she was ready to introduce him to all her friends.

Louis jerked his head away from his mother and looked startled. "No, I like them. They're very nice. Alexis especially," he mumbled and Kate wiped at his tears with her thumbs, giving him an encouraging smile.

"The other kids at school didn't say anything, did they?" Lanie asked carefully after a second or two and Louis' face crumbled again.

"What did they say?" Kate asked with a hint of anger in her voice. She couldn't believe other parents were spreading mean rumors about Castle, or about her and Castle-

"Sophie said that her mom married her new boyfriend and now they have a new baby and it screams all the time and Sophie's mom is always tired and doesn't take her to the playground anymore or do fun stuff with her. It's all about the baby," he sniffed and Kate felt a little relieved. No rumors about her and Castle. "And Trevor said his new dad doesn't like him."

"Oh Tiger," Kate breathed and crushed him into her chest. "Nothing will change for us. We'll still be living at home and only going to the loft for movie nights and dinners. It will be a long time before the four of us live together." She doesn't doubt that she and Castle will end up living together one day, he feels too _right _for that. And they both have already invested too much into this relationship to give it up without a fight.

"And even if you do," Lanie chimed in with her low and soothing voice, "Your mommy will still love you beyond anything."

"Exactly," Kate agreed. "No baby in the world is going to change that. You will always be the most important person in my life. My big boy."

Kate watched as Louis' shoulders slumped in relief and his eyes lit up again. "And Rick already likes you," she reminded him with a gentle poke to the chest, "Who taught you how to dive? Or got you an awesome birthday present?"

At that, Louis let out a giggle and nodded before flinging his arms around Kate's neck again. She held him tight and Lanie got off the floor with a suspicious wetness to her eyes, getting the jar of cookies she kept at her desk for Louis only.

Kate grinned when Lanie grumbled something about "Becketts" and "getting her all emotional."

Still, she needed to clear one more thing with Louis: "Louis, will you promise me something?"

He took a step back and nodded earnestly.

"Will you promise me to come and talk to me if you're worried about something again?"

Louis looked away with shamed eyes, they had had a similar talk before, but then turned back to her with a small smile. "I promise, mommy. And I love you, mommy."

"I love you too, my big boy." She pressed a kiss to his nose before getting up with a grunt, her knee popping loudly.

Lanie already had her face stuffed with cookies and Kate was quick to bat Louis' hand away and save one for herself. Knowing these two, it would be the only one she would get.

XXX

Louis was the first of them to give in to the tiredness. He began to scuff, stumbled over roots and uneven patches on the earthy trail, almost fell to his knees a few times if it weren't for Castle's tight grip on his small hand that caught and held him upright every time.

Eventually, Caste relented and squatted down, offering the boy a piggy-back ride. Louis had been stiff against his back at first, still a little skeptical, but tiredness hat quickly succumbed and he had dropped his head on Castle's shoulder and relaxed into him.

Castle peeked a glance over his shoulder where Kate and Alexis were following him, his little girl still lively, carrying a thick stick, using it to support her body weight every second step. Much like a shepherd would.

Castle looked at the sky again, dusk was beginning to set in. Sighing, he hoped they would make it to the car before it got any darker and again, he wondered how this day had turned out the way it had.

He had had a brilliant idea - or at least he had thought it was brilliant at the time - now he was not so sure anymore. He had wanted to enjoy the nice April weather. Go for a hike with his girlfriend - he still grinned like a fool every time he thought of her as that - her son and his daughter, do something together, all four of them, on a sunny Saturday, have a little adventure and maybe one or two new stories to tell his mother. Now he had had a big adventure and a very long story to tell. Or none at all if they didn't make it back home soon.

He had packed a backpack, added a few bottles of water and a handful of granola bars and cookies; something to keep them energized on the hike up to the lodge on top of the mountain where they would have lunch before the climb-down.

Castle had served them a hearty breakfast early in the morning before driving the short hour to Harriman State Park, where they had parked the car and picked a route. The hike to their destination was beautiful, the sun was shining, the children were excited, walking - or in Alexis' case skipping - ahead of them, happy to have finally escaped the melancholy of a long New York winter where visits to the park or the playground had been kept to a minimum, embracing spring and the chirp of birds with open arms.

They had seen a lot of birds, along with squirrels and a few deer, until Castle had scared them away with his shout of _"look, there's a group of deer!"_ and his wild gesturing to catch the children's attention, making the long-legged animals flee with wide eyes. Kate had rolled her eyes at him, scolded him about his childlike excitement, but he had simply smiled; he had been way too happy to be gotten down by the disapproving looks of his two girls; Alexis having teamed up with Kate again.

On top of the mountain they had asked an elderly couple to take a picture of them - all four grinning widely, Alexis and Louis because they were extremely pleased with themselves for making it all the way up the mountain on a trail Castle had called "intermediate", not one of the very easy ones he used to take Alexis on when she was younger, and Kate and Castle because they were finally, officially in a relationship which both their children approved of.

They had had lunch on top of the mountain and had rested for a while, simply enjoying the sun on their faces before making their way down to the car again. And that's where things had kinda gone wrong.

There had been a lot of forks in their path and at some point they must have taken the wrong one because after a few miles Castle had noticed that the surrounding environment did not look familiar to him and the trail was a lot steeper than the one they had taken on their way up.

Kate, ever the Detective, too had noticed after a while and he had reluctantly admitted that he had no idea were they were. They had looked out for guideposts but had found none.

Together, they had looked at the map that Castle had picked up at the park entrance but it was of no use, they had no idea which trail they had taken and here they were now, alone on an unknown trail, darkness slowly setting in, one tired child on his back and another child that would soon be tired as well.

"Daddy," Alexis called, a little whiny. _And here we go_, Castle thought before stopping and turning around.

"Yes, Pumpkin?" He put on his most charming and reassuring smile, trying not to let Alexis see how he was really feeling.

"Is it far yet? My feet are getting kinda heavy," Alexis told him, exhaustion clear on her face.

He held out his hand for her to take, encouraging Louis to hold onto his neck a little tighter. Alexis took his hand, leaning into it heavily and with one reassuring glance at Kate, who carried the backpack and walked behind them, they continued.

About twenty minutes later he was practically pulling Alexis down the mountain, the little girl too tired to lift her feet properly. When she stumbled for the third time, Castle came to a halt. He was gauging if it was possible to carry both children at the same time, but deemed it too dangerous. Louis and Alexis were both kind of heavy and the trail was too uneven for him to risk it.

Kate sensed his hesitation and came to his help. "Come on Louis, Alexis is tired as well, let's take turns."

But Louis was reluctant to get off Castle's back and only tightened his hold around his neck.

"We'll walk together," she promised and gave Louis a stern look when he still refused to let go. At last, he loosened his hold on Castle, and allowed him to put him back down.

"It shouldn't be far anymore," Castle said and stroked over Louis' hair. "But let's give Alexis a chance to rest and maybe she'll switch places with you again later."

Alexis happily climbed onto her father's back, Kate took Louis' hand and they continued walking. But Louis was seriously tired and kept stumbling, so Kate handed him the backpack and then offered him a piggy-back ride.

Castle could see how much it strained her to carry the seven year-old boy and slowed down, minimizing their risk of someone stumbling and getting hurt. Although they made slow progress, they hit the even ground a couple of minutes before it turned so dark that they couldn't properly identify the ground in front of them anymore.

Kate pulled out the small flashlight she always kept on her key chain and after swiveling the thin beam around a few times, they actually found a map that gave them directions to their car. They only had to walk about a mile along the foot of the mountain, and she made Louis walk the rest of the way. He wanted to make Alexis walk as well - his back was protesting and his knees ached - but she was so limp against his back that he suspected she fell asleep.

When they finally caught sight of Castle's car - the only one left in the parking lot - relief flooded them both. Kate quickly opened all the doors and maneuvered a sleepy Louis into his seat, while Castle squatted on the opposite side of the car, sliding the smooth backseat under Alexis, causing her to let go of his neck and scoot into her seat, barely regaining consciousness before falling asleep again.

Sighing, Castle got behind the steering wheel. He was beyond exhausted, his arms were heavy and tired supporting Alexis' weight and he didn't feel like driving for an hour.

"Castle, let me."

Kate's voice next to him in the open door of the car startled him. "I'll drive," she told him with conviction, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"But you're tired," Castle protested, gripping the steering wheel. After successfully getting them lost on a steep trail where you really had to watch your footing, the last he wanted to do was for Kate to do some more hard work.

"At least I still have feeling in both my arms," she chuckled quietly, looking at his upper arms that were shaking slightly from exertion.

She had a point he realized.

"Fine," he unbuckled his seatbelt, "But tell me when you get tired and we'll switch."

"Get out of the car Castle."

XXX

As soon as they had turned onto the highway, Castle's head had dropped against the headrest and his eyes had slipped closed.

Shaking her head in amusement Kate turned on the radio, the quiet jazz music keeping her company until she pulled into the parking garage under Castle's building an hour later.

"Castle, we're home," she whispered and shook his shoulder slightly. He roused immediately. A little confused, he looked around the car. It was only shortly after eight but both children were fast asleep in the backseat, even without having had dinner yet.

Kate got out of the car and opened Louis' door. She was about to wake him, when Castle pressed a finger to his lips and shook his head, stalling her movements.

"Open Alexis' door and get the elevator," he told her before unbuckling the boy and positioning him on his left hip.

Kate called the elevator and turned back to the car in time to see Castle squatting down, pulling Alexis onto his right hip and straightening again, but not without a grimace of pain.

She ran over to him quickly, her steps echoing in the parking garage. "Castle, put Louis down, he can walk," she told him sternly before he did something stupid. She knew how heavy Louis was and could only imagine how much more Alexis, who was almost two years older than Louis, must weigh.

But Castle shook his head. "Just close the doors and lock the car."

With an unnerved look she fished the key out of her pocket and then met Castle in the elevator, pushing the button for his floor before placing both her hands under Louis' butt, supporting some of his weight.

Castle shot her a grateful look but she just glared at him. She'd have to talk to him about hurting himself. The children could easily have made their way up to the loft themselves, they needed to be woken up anyway since they still needed to at least have a snack for dinner, brush their teeth and change into their PJs.

When the elevator arrived at their level, Kate quickly opened the front door to the loft and Castle practically ran inside, placing both children on the couch a little ungracefully, before flopping down next to them.

The children were finally coming to again and Kate crouched in front of them, untying and taking off their shoes.

"How about I prepare us something quick and light for dinner?" she suggested to the children and got sleepy twin nods in return.

"I'm just going to make eggs and toast, do you want some too?" she asked Castle, touching his knee lightly to get his attention.

He nodded and she got up, dropping the children's shoes next to hers at the front door before scrambling some eggs and spreading butter on warm bread.

When she returned to the living room with plates for the children, she found them and Castle in the exact same position as she left them. Sprawled on the couch, the boys with their eyes closed and somewhere in-between awake and asleep. Only Alexis had her eyes open and smiled at Kate for bringing food.

Kate sat down next to Louis and shook the boy softly, encouraging him to open his eyes and eat a few bites. He was out of it. They had woken up relatively early in the morning and the hike had been more than exhausting for him, especially for him who rarely went hiking.

"Thank you, mommy," he mumbled into her shoulder after finishing his plate, eyes drooping again.

"Come on you two, let's get you to bed." Kate got off the couch and took both children by the hand. "You too, Castle. Bed."

Castle quickly kissed Alexis on the forehead and ran his hand through Louis' hair as way of saying goodnight before disappearing into his bedroom while Kate took the children upstairs and helped them change and brush their teeth.

Both children were fast asleep before she turned off the light.

Downstairs, she put the three empty plates into the sink and grabbed the last slice of bread from the toaster along with a slice of cheese while boiling water for a hot-water bottle. She was sure Castle needed it for his back, the way he had walked with the two children clinging to him had not looked healthy at all.

She found him in the bedroom, stripped down to his boxer shorts, shifting around under the blankets, trying to find a comfortable position.

"Here," she said, holding up the hot-water bottle, "Lie on your side."

Castle did as told and Kate found him a tight fitting t-shirt. A little confused he put it on and settled on his side again, facing the middle of the bed. Wrapping the bottle in a towel so it wouldn't be too hot, she slid it under the tight t-shirt and tucked it under the waistband of his boxer shorts, preventing the hot-water bottle from sliding out again.

Castle groaned in pleasure.

"Actually I shouldn't be taking care of you like this," Kate scolded him as she sat down on the bed, bending over him so she could see his face. "Carrying both children like that was foolish, they could have easily walked. I hope you learned your lesson," she said with one last glare in his direction and pressed the hot-water bottle tighter against his lower back with the flat or her palm.

"They were tired and I was the one who got us lost," Castle argued even as he closed his eyes at the sensations the warmth at his back was generating. "I'll be fine by tomorrow, don't worry."

"I certainly hope so," Kate hummed quietly, her anger replaced by concern for him.

"Hey," Castle said softly, as he twisted his head so he could see her face better. He reached for her hand and brushed her knuckles with his thumb.

When she looked up again and into his face, he gave her a reassuring smile that eased her worries a little.

"Now get in here," Castle patted the empty half of the bed next to him.

She rubbed his shoulder once before getting off the bed, stripping off her clothes as she went into the bathroom to brush her teeth and pull on her favorite new sleeping shirt - a button-down she had stolen from Castle.

She crawled under the covers, facing Castle and turned off the light on her nightstand.

"I'm sorry about today," Castle said quietly into the darkness after a couple of minutes of silence.

"Don't be, today was great," she reassured him, her right hand finding one of his.

"Really?" she heard him say, the confusion and incredulousness he was feeling clear in his voice.

"Really," Kate echoed. "I learned a lot today. About you. About us."

She heard him gulp and started running a hand through his hair. This was nothing to be nervous about.

He still was, though. "What did you learn?"

"I learned that you are an incredible father. I've always known that," she added after a short pause, she needed him to know that she had always thought highly of his fathering skills, "But today you proved it once more. I learned that you are incredibly selfless and caring and even though we were lost, had two tired children and it was dark, I felt safe. No one has made me feel safe in a very long time."

"Kate," he breathed and placed his hand on her cheek, his thumb caressing her cheekbone. "I will always keep you safe."

"I know," she responded quietly into the dark, taking one deep breath before saying the words she has never said and meant as much before as she did now. "And that's one of the reasons why I love you."

She spoke the words softly but they boomed in the stillness of the bedroom. His thumb on her cheek stilled and his breath hitched before everything turned quiet again.

She knew he was probably wondering whether or not he was dreaming, so she repeated the words. "I love you, Rick."

He started to breathe again, air whooshing out of his lungs audibly, painting her face and she felt him shift next to her.

She heard him bite back a wince as the movement strained his sore muscles, but before she could tell him to stop moving, his mouth was descending on hers in a kiss so tender it brought tears to her eyes.

"I love you too, Kate," he whispered against her lips before capturing them again and showing her just how much he meant the words.

Her reaction to his kiss, to his closeness was involuntary, she couldn't keep her body from arching up into his, wanting the space between them gone, but when his hands started to roam and stroke, she tore her mouth away from his, breathing hard through the thick cloud of arousal that surrounded them.

"Castle," she said on a low breath, sounding as reluctant as she probably looked, "Your back."

"Don't care," he ground out above her before attacking her neck with his lips and teeth.

"But I do," she said, this time with more conviction to her voice. "Wouldn't want you to hurt yourself more and be confined to bed for the next couple of days. Especially not when Louis is sleeping at his Godmother's on Tuesday and I am all alone and responsibility-free." She waggled her eyebrows playfully and gave him a teasing smile combined with a nip of her teeth to his lower lip, letting him know that she had plans for him Tuesday night.

"Thinking resourcefully ahead, I like it, Detective," Castle grinned, leaning in for one more kiss before dropping on his side again.

He pulled her close with his left arm and she came willingly, tangling her feet with his as she pressed her forehead to his collarbone, letting the events of the day wash over her with Castle's calming scent in her nose before being pulled under by sleep.

XXX

It was early the next morning when Kate heard the door to the bedroom creak open. From the corner of her eye she saw Alexis tiptoe in, but the girl stopped, unsure, when she saw Kate.

"It's okay," Kate said quietly as to not wake Castle and scooted back a little to make some space next to Castle for the little redhead.

Alexis was still a little hesitant and Kate briefly wondered if she had not been allowed to crawl into her father's bed on a Sunday morning when he had been with Gina. Then she banned all thoughts of Gina in Castle's bed on a Sunday morning and stretched her hand out in invitation, which Alexis took with a smile. As soon as Alexis was on the bed, she crawled next to her father and lied down, her back pressed against his belly. Without waking up, Castle held her close and mumbled something unintelligible.

Alexis shot Kate a sleepy smile before closing her eyes and going back to sleep.

Kate could have done the same but she decided to watch the father-daughter-duo instead. It still amazed Kate how good a father to Alexis Castle was, how devoted he was to that role.

Kate let her mind wander and when Louis too crawled into the large bed half an hour later and snuggled himself against her, she realized that's exactly how she wanted to wake up more often on Sundays.

She wasn't ready yet to say she wanted to wake up like this every Sunday, not yet at least, but definitely more frequently than she had until now.

She must have dozed off eventually because she awoke with a start when hot breath washed over her face from two different directions. Blinking her eyes open she found herself staring into Alexis' light blue ones.

Alexis was lying on her belly across the bed, her head balanced on her hands, her elbows boring into the soft mattress, staring at her intently. Louis was sitting next to her, looking at her just as intently.

A little confused, Kate looked from one child to the other.

"You're cute when you sleep," Alexis giggled.

"You sometimes snore," Louis told her, giggling with Alexis.

"I do not!" Kate defended herself and started tickling Louis's sides in revenge.

"What he said," Castle chuckled and pointed at Louis as he entered the bedroom and sat down on the bed, pulling Alexis into his side.

Kate glared at him, but he just shrugged his shoulders in a 'what, it's true' motion.

"Breakfast is ready by the way."

That was all it took to make the children sprint out of the room.

Making use of the privacy, Castle pressed a quick peck to her lips.

After breakfast, the children disappeared to watch some cartoons, leaving the cleaning up to the two adults.

"Last night," Castle said from behind the open door of the fridge where he was currently placing the cheese back onto its shelf, "You mentioned Louis' godmother."

"Right, Lanie." Kate was wiping down the counter and had a pretty good idea of where Castle was going with this. They've known each other for six months, yet Castle had never met any of her friends and colleagues.

"Want to meet her some time?" she offered, and Castle closed the fridge, turning to her with a hopeful expression.

"I'd love to," he admitted. "Especially since she's his godmother and he stays with her for the night sometimes. She must play a big role in his - and your - life."

She nodded in agreement. "Lanie and I sometimes work together. She's a medical examiner, came to the Precinct around the same time I did. She takes Louis out once a month and completely spoils him. But so does everyone at the Precinct," she laughed. It was true though, everyone on the Homicide floor seemed to love her son and slipped him cookies and gum when they thought she wasn't looking.

She suddenly had an idea. "You know what? Why don't you come to the Precinct with me one morning? Meet Lanie and the rest of the crew?"

Castle was by her side immediately, looking as excited as she had ever seen him. "Really? I could come with you?"

"My partners and I have to catch up on paperwork tomorrow, I'm sure we could all use the distraction."

"Awesome!" If he grinned any wider, his face would probably split in two.

"Alexis," he called, the excitement clear in his voice, "I'm going to the Precinct tomorrow with Kate!"

The redhead quickly clambered off the couch and ran into the kitchen, her eyes wide with uncertainty. "Are you being arrested again?"

"Again?!" Kate exclaimed and Alexis quickly covered her mouth with both hands, looking at her dad guiltily.

"Sorry," she mumbled through her fingers and worriedly flicked her eyes from her dad to Kate and back.

Castle suddenly seemed to be utterly fascinated with a speck on the counter Kate must have missed and refused to look at her.

"He stole a police horse," Alexis told her with a giggle once she realized she wasn't in any trouble.

"Borrowed, Alexis, I borrowed a police horse," Castle corrected her and gave Kate a smirk while shrugging.

"You stole it," she sing-songed and ran back to the couch, escaping her father's tickling fingers.

"Maybe I should have done a background search on you," Kate mused with a slight smirk.

"Too late now, Detective, you're already under my spell. And you love me."

"Don't gloat, Castle, it doesn't suit you," she scolded him lightly but hummed her approval anyway when he leaned in for a kiss that was probably not quite appropriate, considering there were two children not ten feet from them watching TV.

* * *

_Thank you all for the lovely reviews, I love hearing from you!_

_Twitter: kbymyside_


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Chapter 21**

It was Monday morning and Kate had just dropped Louis off at school and was now waiting for Castle to drop off Alexis so they could go to the Precinct together. She wanted to introduce him to everyone - Lanie, Ryan and Esposito. Maybe even the Captain.

She checked her watch for the third time when Castle finally hurried around the corner, Alexis skipping next to him. When she saw Kate on the other side of the school gate, she waved at her and gave her a slightly toothless grin, now both upper incisors missing, and Kate waved back.

She watched as Alexis very quickly hugged her dad goodbye and sprinted through the gate, her flaming red hair waving behind her.

Castle watched her disappearing in the brick building before sauntering towards her with a winning smile, looking sexy as hell in a light blue dress shirt and well-fitting jeans.

"Good morning, Detective." He pressed a kiss to her cheek and it didn't escape Kate how a few of the other parents, mainly female parents, stared at them unabashedly. Upon arriving at the school today, she'd received a few envious, and yes, angry glares. Richard Castle was one of the most sought-after dads in the circle of single moms and nannies, and to them, Kate was a nobody.

Castle brought her her special coffee and she greedily took a sip from the thermos bottle that kept it warm. In return, she pressed a lingering kiss to the corner of his mouth and Castle waggled his eyebrows at her. "Coffee flavored, I like it."

Okay, she was not only thanking him for the coffee, she was also making a statement. Slipping her hand into his, she led him up the street where she parked her car and Castle gave her an easy smile.

She unlocked the doors of her Crown Vic and before she even had time to get in, Castle was already fingering the different buttons and tools on the dashboard.

"This is so cool!" he exclaimed after inspecting her radio closely. "I can't believe I didn't notice any of this when I rode shotgun the other day! The back of this car isn't half as cool as the front."

This is what Martha must have meant when she said her son is a man-child at dinner the other day.

"What does this do?" he asked, his finger hovering over a button on the roof of the car.

She swatted his hand away and buckled herself in. Ever since Louis had jammed one of the buttons as a small child and the siren wouldn't turn off anymore, she was a little sensitive about it.

"Behave, Castle," she admonished with a stern glare before pulling away from the curb.

Castle pouted and Kate patted his thigh sympathetically when she came to a red light. His face smoothened after that but he remained unusually silent for the rest of the ride. He was staring out of the passenger window and after five minutes of total stillness, Kate was a little unnerved. Normally those five minutes would be bliss - the man seriously never stops talking - but today he should be excited and nervous at the same time and babbling nonsense.

"You okay, Castle?"

He just hummed, totally absorbed in thought as he kept staring out the window.

"You're not worried about meeting my friends, are you?" Kate pressed on, changing lanes and then looking at him again.

"Me? Worried? Pah." He tried sounding scandalized at that thought but off her look his façade crumbled. "Maybe a little," he admitted and dropped the act and Kate saw the worry sketched into his skin.

"Just be your charming self around Lanie and everything'll be fine." She tried to keep the teasing out of her voice but failed. Castle huffed and she had to fight to keep the grin off her face. Richard Castle, playboy millionaire, was afraid of meeting her friends. To be fair though, Lanie could be as intimidating as a pitbull. Despite her size. Kate had found herself at the receiving end of her death threats and outbursts quite a few times and it was nothing she wanted to experience ever again.

Kate parked her Crown Vic in the parking garage beneath the 12th and smoothed her thumb along the crease of Castle's eye, evening out the worry lines she found there.

"Ready?"

Castle nodded but then gave her his best puppy dog eyes. "Can I at least have a good luck kiss?"

"You don't need one," Kate reassured. "It'll be fine."

She kissed him anyway. Hotly. And when he got out of the car, he almost forgot about what lay before him.

They were in the elevator to the Homicide floor, when his worries resurfaced. "Maybe I should have brought pastries."

"Castle, would you relax?" Kate laughed and squeezed his hand. This was getting a little ridiculous.

She had to admit though that she was also a little nervous. Never before had it mattered this much that her boyfriend got along well with her friends and that they accepted him.

Before she could dwell on that any longer, the elevator arrived and they got off. Her partners, Ryan and Esposito, were already at their desks, working at the folder stack in front of them.

They looked up and nodded at her in greeting, but she ignored their curious glances for now and led Castle to her desk. She wanted to show him around first.

Her desk was nothing special, there was a desktop and a keyboard, a few note pads, a mug with pens in it, a magnifying glass and the same stack of folders as found on Ryan and Esposito.

"No pictures?" Castle asked and she could see him save away every detail for later use.

She shook her head. "They would leave me more vulnerable to a suspect if they got a glimpse of them."

Castle nodded thoughtfully while playing with her magnifying glass. She was just about to show him the rest of the bullpen when Ryan and Esposito appeared behind Castle, seemingly on a mission to find out who the mystery visitor was.

"Hey Beckett," they chorused with matching innocent grins on their faces.

Castle turned and came to a stand next to Kate who rolled her eyes at her nosy colleagues.

Just when she opened her mouth to introduce them to each other, the grin fell off Ryan's face and his eyes widened in awe.

"Y-You're Richard Castle!" he stuttered, his face bright. "I'm Kevin," he introduced himself with the widest grin. Castle took his outstretched hand and Ryan shook it with enthusiasm. "I love- I mean, my girlfriend, Jenny, loves your books."

Esposito simply stared at his partner, murmuring an embarrassed "dude" under his breath.

"I just read them because they were lying around," Ryan tried to save himself from further embarrassment, nonchalantly shrugging his shoulders and burying both his hands in the pockets of his pants. Esposito actually took a step away from him, afraid of catching Ryan's serious case of startstruck-ness.

"Speaking of Jenny, I forgot my lunch at home, maybe she can bring it over."

Kate casually hid her mouth behind her hand, trying to get the twitching corners of her mouth under control. They didn't have a case at the moment and the boys usually grabbed a burger for lunch when they got sick of the paperwork.

Ryan had just gotten his cell out to text his girlfriend, when he took a moment to think and quietly muttered to himself, "No, wait, I shouldn't do that, you'd probably be on her freebie five list."

Everybody hear and Esposito groaned audibly and turned around, unable to take any more of his partner's embarrassing fangirling. Kate too had to turn away slightly because she just couldn't contain her laughter anymore.

"You don't need to worry about the freebie five list," Castle told Ryan with a wink and after a second of confusion, relief washed over the Irish Detective's face. "Oh! You're gay! Phew," he laughed, trying to bridge the awkwardness of the situation. "Could have mentioned that in one of your interviews, right?" Ryan continued his over-the-top laughing and even though Castle was totally weirded out by the situation, he chimed in. It was just too ironic, him and gay?

Ryan was probably the greatest - and sweetest - dork around and after getting her own laughter under control, Kate decided to put him out his misery. She stepped up to Castle and curled one hand around his elbow.

"Castle's not gay and you don't need to worry about Jenny's freebie-five list because he's with me."

The way her thumb stroked the inside of Castle's elbow left no doubt as to how that was to be understood as.

Esposito, who had just been about to sit down, spun around, and re-joined their little group.

Both, Esposito and Ryan were staring at her, and only when she raised her eyebrows at them, did they react.

The situation was now completely awkward for Ryan and after giving them a thumbs up, he waved with his cell phone still in his hand and basically sprinted off. "I'm going to call Jenny."

That left them alone with Esposito and Kate remembered she hadn't introduced them yet.

"Rick, this is Esposito, one of my partners. Espo, this is Rick."

"Nice to meet you, bro." Espo shook Castle's hand with a very manly grip and while he gave him a smile, there was a warning in his eyes.

"Well, that was a little awkward," Castle unnecessarily pointed out after Esposito had excused himself and they were by themselves again. "But it went okay, right?"

"It went fine. Ryan's just a little clumsy. Do you want to meet Lanie straightaway and get it over with or do you want me to show you around?"

"Actually, could I just sit here for a few minutes and observe? Get a feel for the atmosphere of a police station?" He pulled out a small, black notebook and a pen that he always kept with him and flipped it open in expectancy.

"Sure, knock yourself out. My Captain's probably expecting the first few files already anyway."

She sat down at her desk and started filling out the first paper while Castle grabbed a nearby chair and sat it next to her desk, so that he was facing her when sitting in it.

After about twenty minutes, Castle unconsciously reached for the thermos bottle that was sitting on her desk and took a sip.

"Hey! Get your own coffee!" Kate protested and snagged the bottle away from him, nearly making him spill some of the treasured beverage.

Castle looked around, searching for a vending machine.

Kate pointed towards the break room. "Coffee maker is in there."

"Is it okay for me to just go in there and get coffee?" Castle asked, a little hesitant. He was a guest here after all.

Kate nodded. "We are one big family here on the Homicide floor. As long as there's no ongoing investigation and we still get our work done, children, spouses, boyfriends-" she gave him a pointed a look and a small grin, "are welcome here."

"Great!" Castle shoved the small notebook into the back pocket of his jeans and casually strolled into the break room, ignoring the many curious glances he got from other Detectives and uniforms.

Kate bent back over her paperwork until the staring got too much for her and she started glaring at some of the Detectives. Detectives, that were from Vice and Robbery, she noted a little sourly. It must have done the rounds that Richard Caste, famous mystery writer, was in the building and everyone wanted to confirm it themselves and get a glimpse of the celebrity.

From the corner of her eye she saw how someone shut the blinds of the break room. Her eyes flickered to the door, which was closed also closed. Well, that was weird. Especially since Castle was still in there.

She searched the bullpen for him, affirming that he really was in the break room when her gaze fell upon Esposito's empty desk and Ryan's guilty expression.

She immediately knew what was going on and pushed her chair back with a little too much force, got up and crossed the bullpen in quick strides, jerking the door to the break room open just in time to see Castle, who was trapped between Esposito's broad body and the counter, gulping and nodding his head vigorously. He was cradling a steaming cup of coffee to his chest with both hands, as if it could shield him from Esposito's threats.

"What's going on in here?" Kate demanded, crossing her arms in front of her chest and glaring at Esposito.

"Just having a friendly chat." The Latino Detective took a small step back from Castle, creating some distance between them.

Castle quickly nodded his head again, his eyes comically wide. Kate would usually have laughed about it, if only it weren't so important to her, that Castle and Esposito, who's been something like a big brother to her these last couple of years, got along well.

She knew he only meant well, that he cared for her and Louis but this intimidation was totally uncalled for.

"Knock it off, Espo. No more 'friendly chats'." She used air quotes for the last part and Esposito raised his hands in a gesture of retreat.

Esposito left the break room and Castle exhaled audibly. He took a sip of coffee to calm his nerves but spit the beverage out again immediately. "This is probably the worst coffee I've ever had," he groaned and dumped the contents of the cup into the sink.

"You can have another sip of my coffee," she offered, apology and sympathy in one.

They went back into the bullpen where still an unusually high number of Detectives and uniforms were pretending to go over what looked like _highly _important car park and speeding tickets to Kate.

She rolled her eyes at the silly behavior of her colleagues and handed Castle her thermos bottle. "Come on, let's go and see Lanie. She probably already knows you're in the building and is going to pump me if we don't see her soon."

Castle took a sip of her coffee and followed her to the elevator where she thumbed the button that led them to the morgue in the basement.

"How much does she know?" he asked.

"Well, Louis told her a little about you. She knows you have a daughter and are a writer and that we've been seeing each other. But I don't think she knows you're _the_ Richard Castle."

Just as the doors of the elevator opened, Kate received a text message. Flipping her phone open, she groaned and showed the message to Castle who swallowed heavily again.

'_Get your skinny little ass down here and introduce me to your writer boy!_'

She knew she was in trouble, but she let herself in for that. Lanie hated to be the last one knowing.

"Hey Lanie," Kate greeted, trying to sound normal as she entered the morgue with Castle in tow.

Lanie simply gave her a look that told her she was not amused at all about being excluded but then her gaze fell upon Castle and immediately softened. Kate knew she was a fan and she should probably not have left the little detail of his last name out whenever she had talked to her about a _'the Rick'_.

Kate was just about to open her mouth, when Lanie held up a hand, effectively stopping her.

"Would you give us a minute?" she asked Castle politely. "I need to have a temperamental outburst first before I am ready to meet _Richard Castle_." She gave Kate a pointed look when she said his name and Castle was out of the morgue before she could even roll her eyes at Lanie.

Lanie took a deep breath and Kate knew it was inevitable. "Girl! Is Richard Castle the Rick you've been talking about the past six months?"

Guilty as charged, Kate nodded.

"And you didn't think to mention that tiny detail?" Lanie had her hands on her hips and was more intimidating than some of the Detectives Kate had previously worked with.

"I'm sorry!" Kate defended herself but actually, she wasn't sorry. Had Lanie known, she would have insisted on meeting him earlier, back when things were still too new and fragile between them and she had had yet to figure out where they stood.

"And for how long exactly have you been introducing him as your _boyfriend_?" Lanie pressed, still a little angry and disappointed in her best friend as her gaze dropped to the message on her phone on the empty slab in front of her. "Louis has been talking about him for the last four or five months."

She had never actually told Lanie when they had morphed from friends to more, at one point she'd simply stopped denying it when Lanie ribbed her about it.

"I've known him for six, but we've only been together for about a month." Lanie was about to say something, but Kate cut her off. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier but we decided to keep things to ourselves for a little while and I haven't been this serious with anyone ever before and I guess I was a little afraid of admitting that. It's just such a huge step for me." She knew she was blushing.

"Oh honey," Lanie sighed and hugged her. "I just wanted to mess with you a little. You should know better than to be secretive around me," she chuckled, making Kate glare at her.

"What a friend you are," she said dryly but just had to laugh, despite herself, because this was typical Lanie and she loved her for it.

"I'm happy as long as you are."

"I am," Kate nodded. "Louis too."

"Then you're forgiven." Lanie pulled her in for another hug and held her tightly. She knew what this meant for Kate, knew she was a one and done kind of girl and introducing someone as her boyfriend and saying it was serious was a big step for her.

Castle chose that moment to poke his head around the swinging door of the morgue. "Is it safe for me to enter?"

Of course he'd been eavesdropping. "Come in, Castle," Kate called as she took a step back from Lanie.

He came to a stand next to her and his palm once again found that oh so familiar spot on her lower back. "Castle, this is Lanie, my best friend and Louis' Godmother, and Lanie, this is Rick."

She was glad to see Lanie wasn't as starstruck as Ryan and didn't make a fool of herself.

"You know, as the best friend it is my job to threaten the new boyfriend, and I know you already got the talk from Espo." Lanie quickly continued when Kate started to protest, "But just so you know, Rick, I know how to make your death look like an accident if you hurt my girl here or her little boy."

Castle took it in stride and smiled charmingly at Lanie while rubbing his hand in a slow, comforting circle on Kate's back. "I'll have you know that I have no intentions to do so, I care about Kate and Louis."

He looked down at her and she could see the truth of his words laid bare on his face. She held his gaze, taking comfort in his words.

"You two might actually be more nauseating than Ryan and Jenny," Lanie interrupted their moment with a shudder, but Kate could see how pleased she was for her.

"Now get out, I have work to do," she shooed them and started pulling on a pair of latex gloves.

"Lunch soon?" Kate asked on her way out.

"Lunch soon," Lanie confirmed. "You still owe me juicy details!" she yelled after them, making Kate laugh with relief. They were okay.

"You know," Castle said as they entered the elevator again to go up to the Homicide floor, "I'm a bestselling novelist and receive creepy fan mail and death threats on a daily basis, yet I've never gotten two so very disturbing death threats in such a short time before." He was laughing and Kate couldn't help but join in.

"I'll protect you," she winked, her hand falling to her empty hip holster and sealed her promise with a quick kiss to his lips.

It was just after ten o' clock when they sat down at Kate's desk again.

"Okay, what do we do now?" Castle asked, probably expecting her to take him into one of the interrogation rooms or down to lock up.

"I really have to finish this paperwork," she replied, somewhat apologetically. This was surely not what he expected. She checked her watch again. She usually went on her hour-long lunch break at two-thirty, where she picked Louis up from school and drove him home but she felt bad for making Castle wait that long. There was nothing fun to do at the Precinct and she was stuck with paperwork.

"I have an idea."

Castle looked at her with expectancy.

"We have lunch at around one o' clock, afterwards you pick up Louis and Alexis and I'll drop by the loft at around five-thirty with dinner? And in the meantime you could, I don't know, hang out with your fan club?" She jerked her head towards the various cops that were still lingering on their floor without purpose.

"Sounds like a plan," Castle chuckled. "Although Alexis will be at a friend's house today. Do you think Louis will be fine if it's only the two of us?"

"I'm sure he'll love it. Unless you need to write? I could always call Rosa to pick him up." She was hesitant again all of a sudden, she had never let anyone else except for Lanie pick Louis up from school and spent the afternoon with him.

"Don't worry about it, we'll have a boys-only afternoon."

She went on with her paperwork and he got his notebook out again but she looked up after only a few minutes when the third Officer walked by her desk a little too close and a little too slow for her liking. "This is getting ridiculous," she groaned. "I'm sorry."

"Is me being here going to get you into trouble? Or getting the Precinct unwanted media attention? Because I could always leave-"

"No! No, they won't talk to the press, they're not like that. They're simply nosy." And embarrassing. Of course, he was a best-selling author but did people have to be so blatant about it?

"You know what? I'm sure if I just talk to them for a little, they'll eventually leave."

She watched him walk over to a group of Detectives and say something casual, making them all laugh. Soon after he was shaking hands with them, taking the occasional picture or two and even signing some stuff. Even Jenny got the book and fan stuff signed she had brought along with Ryan's lunch.

After an hour or so, everyone was satisfied and went back to their own floors to do their work, leaving the Homicide floor in a much welcomed silence.

XXX

Castle hadn't been waiting long in front of the school when Louis stepped through the gate, searching the small crowd of parents and nannies for either his mother or Rosa, his nanny. When he saw Castle, who waved at him, he walked over to him.

"Hey Rick. Have you seen my mom?" he asked, standing on his tiptoes to get a better view of the crowd.

"Actually, your mom is still at the Precinct, she asked me to pick you up and she'll come over for dinner."

The boy dropped onto his feet in surprise and turned skeptical eyes on Castle. "Where's Alexis?"

"She's at a friend's house, it'll be just the two of us today," Castle explained patiently.

Uncertain, Louis stared at the ground in front of him and started to nibble on his bottom lip, an exact replica of his mother.

When he looked up again, a tinge of shame was coloring his cheeks. "I can't come with you. I'm only allowed to go with Lanie or Rosa."

Of course. Castle mentally slapped himself. His mother was a cop, he'd never go with anyone, not even him if his mother didn't allow him to. Even though Kate shielded her son from her work, he probably knew all the details about child abduction.

A few parents were already giving them worried glances and Castle was quick to get his phone out of his pocket before someone called the cops.

"Let's call your mom, okay?" He hit his speed dial - and when exactly did that happen? - and handed the phone to Louis who talked to his mom for a few minutes before giving the phone back to Castle.

"Okay?"

"Okay," the boy nodded and Castle relieved him of his school bag.

They were walking quietly for a few minutes. Castle knew that there was something on Louis' mind and waited for him to open up.

"I'm sorry," the boy said with slightly shamed eyes, worrying his bottom lip again.

"Hey," Castle said to get his attention and came to a stand on the almost deserted sidewalk, "You have nothing to be sorry for. You did the right thing and I'm proud of you for not just coming with me without talking to your mom first, even though you know me. You did the right thing, okay?" He needed the boy to know he handled the situation correctly.

Louis gave him a tentative smile and Castle ruffled his hair playfully. "Want to get some donuts?" he asked, holding his hand out for Louis to take and Louis grasped it eagerly, relieved Castle wasn't mad at him.

Castle and Louis stopped at the bakery where he and Kate had stopped so many times before and Castle picked his favorite chocolate muffin while Louis chose a slice of apple pie.

"What do you want to do today?" Castle asked as he tore off a piece of his muffing and popped it into his mouth.

Louis shrugged his shoulders and focused on the apple pie in front if him, still appearing to be a little shy about this 'boys-only afternoon' as Castle had dubbed it.

"Is there something you have always wanted to do?" He lowered his voice and leaned a little closer. "Something your mom doesn't want you to do?"

Louis chuckled and took another bite of his pie before sighing deeply, gathering up the courage to voice his wish. "Could we play ball?" he asked, his expression frail, as if afraid to get rejected.

Castle understood where this wish was coming from, he too had grown up without a father and never had the chance to do any of those father-son things like playing ball or go see a baseball game. That was probably one more thing why he had been such a lonely, dreamy child that spent his afternoons backstage of wherever it was his mother got a role this time, making up stuff and writing stories. "Of course we can. But I'm no good, just saying." He felt it was only fair to warn the boy, he was seriously lousy with balls.

"Me neither," Louis smiled. "But sometimes we play at school and all the other boys have already hit a homerun this year. I want to hit one too."

"Well then, let's brace ourselves with apple pie und chocolate muffins and go practice!" He swallowed the last bit of his muffin and watched with satisfaction as Louis quickly chewed his last forkfuls of pie before getting the baseball gear that was already catching dust in some corner in his party room upstairs.

"You ready?" he asked when he re-appeared in the open living area, having donned a baseball jersey and a cap. 'Cause if you don't know how to play already, you can at least look good, right?

Louis nodded having already pulled the glove over his hand in anticipation while Castle had changed.

XXX

It was almost six when someone knocked on the front door. It was Kate. He knew. She had a special way of knocking and he could tell that knock anywhere.

"Door's open!" he called, too tired to actually get up and invite his girlfriend in.

There was some scratching and shuffling of plastic bags going on on the other side and it took a while until the door finally opened. Kate stepped into the loft with a slightly annoyed expressions, juggling numeral bags that smelled deliciously of Thai food.

"Sorry," he quickly apologized and got off the couch he'd been slouching on, his back protesting against his hasty movements.

He relieved Kate of one of the plastic bags and closed the door behind her before following her into the kitchen.

He greeted her with the brush of his thumb against her cheek and a soft smile, mindful of Louis who was currently sprawled across the couch, watching his mother, or mainly the dinner she brought, with hopeful eyes. They'd told the kids they were in a relationship and both children were well aware that that included kissing, but they still wanted to keep it to a minimum in front of them for now, until everything has really settled in.

He got plates and silverware from the cabinets while Kate greeted her son, sitting down next to him on the couch, hugging him and asking him about his day. Castle listened to the boy's recitation of his afternoon in the park with a soft smile while distributing the food onto the three plates.

They had had some trouble getting into the game at first. The ball had landed in the bushes numerous times and once even in a ditch, but then they were joined by a few older boys who had showed Louis a few tricks and after a handful of tries he had gotten the hang of it.

They had been exhausted after not even playing for an hour and had barely made it back home. Four blocks from his loft, Castle had been seriously tempted to hail a cab, no matter how pathetic that made him. But they had made it - on foot. All they had been doing since was watch silly cartoons, even though neither of them were really watching, they both had had their eyes closed most of the time.

While the boy had the excuse of being young and therefore tiring easily, Castle had none. He simply was somewhat of a wimp when it came to sports and physical activity and he adhered to that. He'd leave it to Kate to be the physically fit one in their relationship.

"Wanna come eat while the food's still warm?" Castle asked after Louis had fallen silent again, resting against his mother's side.

Louis looked at the kitchen counter where Castle had the food waiting for them and back to the couch he was currently sitting on and groaned at the distance he would have to cover to get to the food. Kate pulled him up from the couch and Louis clang to her, pretending to be too weak to walk. Apparently he'd picked up on Castle's dramatics.

"Hope you're not too weak to eat, buddy," Castle smiled teasingly and moved to slide the food on the smallest plate onto his, emptying it.

That got Louis' attention and he sprinted to the counter, grabbing his plate and pushing it protectively out of Castle's reach with a cheeky grin.

He grinned back at the boy, happy to see him so at ease in his home and catches Kate mouthing a heart-warming 'thank you' at him but he doesn't want to be thanked. Not for this. It's his pleasure doing something for this little boy to prevent him from living through the same painful, father-figure-less childhood and youth he had struggled through.

* * *

**Author's Note: Wrote this instead of packing for my weekend trip. Hope you like it!**

_Twitter: kbymyside_


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Chapter 22**

This was not going as well as he had hoped. Running a hand through his hair in frustration, Castle watched his daughter angrily climb the stairs and bang the door to her room shut. He dropped his head into his hands and took a moment to sort his thoughts and process everything that just happened. His daughter rarely got angry and stormed off anymore. She'd had a stubborn phase as a young child where she'd always banged her door, simply because it got a rise out of him, but she'd stopped by the time she was four years old. Every time she does it now, it means he really messed up.

He was just about to get up from the couch and talk to Alexis, when there was a knock on the door. Pressing a hand over his eyes, he sank back into the couch. He forgot he'd invited Kate and Louis over for dinner. This was going to be a great evening for all of them, with Alexis angry at him and him in a bad mood.

Putting on a smile that felt more like a grimace, he opened the door to reveal his guests.

"Hey you two," he greeted. He was trying to be cheerful but knew off Kate's look he was failing miserably. She gave him a quick kiss and then hung their coats in Castle's closet by the front door, while he called for his daughter.

"Alexis! We have guests. Come and say hello please."

It took her a while and he was just about to call her again, when she appeared at the top of the stairs, eyes puffy, lips pouty.

"Hi," she said sullenly without offering a smile, before turning around and disappearing into her room again. There was no trace of the usually cheerful, happy little girl to be seen.

"I'm sorry," Castle apologized for his daughter's behavior. It's the first time she'd not been overjoyed to see Kate and her behavior was very impolite. Alexis was usually very well-mannered and easy, if there was a problem, they'd talk about it, but when she got angry she threw fits easily and forgot all about civility.

"Everything okay?" Kate wanted to know, while Louis hovered beside her, thrown off balance by Alexis' unusual behavior.

Castle nodded for Louis' sake but mouthed 'later' for Kate to see only.

"I don't know if she's going to be much fun today, buddy," Castle apologized to Louis. "But you could always play with my pinball machine in the party room if you wanted."

"Okay, cool," Louis grinned, took off his shoes and went upstairs. Castle's party room was usually off limits for the children. They had to ask him before they could play any of the games in it.

"Call me if you have trouble turning it on," Castle called after him and Louis gave him a thumbs up.

"If this is a bad time, Castle, we could always have dinner on another day," Kate said cautiously and smoothed down a strand of hair that stuck out an add angle, probably from running his fingers through it repeatedly.

"You're already here," he waved off. "And Alexis will come around. Wanna help me cook?"

Kate followed him into the kitchen and studied the ingredients he pulled out of the refrigerator with interest. "Chicken parmesan and a green salad okay with you guys?"

"Louis loves it," Kate approved. "Do you want to tell me what's going on with Alexis?" she asked as she washed the head of lettuce Castle handed her.

Castle got the chicken breasts out of the fridge and started coating them with breadcrumbs. "Once a year I go on an international book tour. Promote my books in Europe and Asia and Australia, you know? I was supposed to go to India last summer."

When Kate shot him an incredulous look he shrugged his shoulders. "Some of the scenes in the last book took place there and Black Pawn thought it'd be ideal promotion to send me there. Anyway, I didn't go last summer, had to cancel the book tour because Meredith's father died and we had to fly to L.A. and mother broke up with a guy and had to move in with us completely and it was all a little crazy that summer. So we postponed my trip to Christmas. I always take Alexis with me on international book tours which means we can only go during school breaks. But I didn't want to go during Christmas break. Alexis only has two weeks off and with the different time zones and the climate differences and the long flights and everything I thought that would maybe be too much for her, you know?"

Kate hummed her approval while carefully dicing the tomatoes in front of her.

"So we postponed it again. And when I had a meeting with Paula yesterday, she was already planning this summer's international book tour. Unless I want to go on two international and one national booktour this summer, I have to go to India this spring. Without Alexis." He was probably smacking the breadcrumbs a little too forcefully on the chicken but he didn't care. He was upset that his little girl was upset and as much as he loved meeting his fans and traveling to foreign countries, he wished he could just skip this trip.

"And she's angry because she wanted to go with you?" Kate checked she was following him okay.

Castle shook his head. "Not so much because she can't go with me, but because she has to stay with a babysitter."

Kate dropped the knife she had been using and turned to face him. "A babysitter?" She sounded appalled by the idea. But he didn't have a choice. His mother was working and since Alexis had school he couldn't send her to Meredith. And he couldn't ask her to fly to New York because she was also working.

With shamed eyes, Castle started browning the chicken in a pan. "I'll leave next Friday night and return the following Wednesday night. April 30th. My mother will stay with her on the weekend but she has shows during the week she can't cancel."

For a few minutes the sizzling of the chicken in the hot oil was the only sound to be heard. Until Kate spoke up. "What if she stayed with me?"

Castle almost dropped the fork he'd been using to turn the chicken and looked at her with wide eyes.

"Uh, Kate, I don't know ..." She was a Detective with a busy schedule and already had her hands full with one child, could he really ask her to take care of a second child?

"It's okay, I just thought I'd offer." She gave him a quick smile that was anything but real and he could read the defeat in her eyes before she turned back to the salad in front of her and hid behind a curtain of her hair.

This was not what he had meant at all, so he reached for her arm to turn her back around and tucked her hair back behind her ear. "It's not that I don't trust you with my daughter, Kate, because I do."

When there was still some doubt swimming in her eyes, he held onto both of her upper arms and squeezed them gently, urging her to believe him. "I really do," he emphasized again, looking her straight in the eye. "It's just that I don't know if I can ask that of you. Alexis may seem very easy when you're here, but she can also be a handful. And your job is already demanding, I don't want you to overdo it by taking care of a second child. I don't want to ask that of you."

He was relieved to see that the doubt had disappeared from her features. "You're not asking, I'm offering." She turned off the stove so they could talk untroubledly and took one of his large hands in her own, her thumbs brushing over his knuckles. "You said you need someone from Monday through Wednesday?"

He nodded.

"Well, I'm off on Monday and on call on Tuesday and Wednesday. If no body drops, good for me, if a body drops, I'll make sure I can leave the Precinct by the time Louis and Alexis get out of school. I'll even take the rest of the day off if I have to. I want this. I want to take care of Alexis and spend time with her."

That was all Castle needed to hear. Never before had someone made such an effort with his daughter, not even his ex-wife, the girl's own mother.

"You're extraordinary, you know that?" he mumbled as he pulled her in for a kiss that left her gasping into his mouth and clutching at his neck for support.

"Do you want to talk to Louis first or can we tell her immediately?"

"Let's put poor Alexis out of her misery," Kate chuckled and swiped a finger over the glistening corner of his mouth.

"Alexis!"

It didn't take long for the redhead to appear at the top of the stairs, arms crossed in front of her chest. "What?" she asked, her lips pressed into a thin, white line.

"Can you come down here please? Kate and I have something to tell you."

Alexis was suspicious at first but at the mention of Kate's name and the warm smile the older woman gave her, she started walking down the stairs, Louis, thinking dinner might be ready already, following closely.

Alexis stood in front of Castle and Kate expectantly, her arms still crossed in front of her chest but her eyes were a little softer now.

Castle looked at Kate and she nodded at him, giving him permission to tell his little girl.

"Would you like to stay with Kate and Louis while I'm away?"

Alexis looked from her father to Kate and back to her father before she started squealing and threw herself in her father's arms. Castle would have probably toppled over from the force Alexis hit him with, if it weren't for Kate's steadying hand on his back helping him gain his equilibrium again.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes," the overly excited girl chanted and struggled out of her father's arms to crash into Kate and hug her tightly. "Thank you, thank you!"

Castle watched in amusement how Kate barely had time to hug her back before Alexis ran over to Louis and grabbed both of his hands, jumping up and down with him like a bouncy ball, shrieking with joy. Louis seemed to be just as excited as she was, and grinned widely. "This is going to be so cool! You'll be sleeping in my room!"

Castle was relieved to see that his little girl had obviously forgiven him and seemed to be happy with the solution they found.

"Thank you." He reached for Kate's hand and squeezed it in gratitude, dropping a quick kiss to her lips.

Kate lovingly patted his cheek once. "No problem. Now, I believe you promised to feed me." She motioned to the half cooked dinner in his kitchen.

"Come on kids," Castle called, interrupting their little jig of glee, "Let's cook dinner."

XXX

It was Monday and Kate's first day of three with Alexis. She was excited and a little nervous all the same about having the redhead live with her and Louis for three days. She had gotten to know Alexis quite well these past six months but it was always something different to have someone around for twenty-four hours in a row or more. She knew she'd probably uncover a few more sides to the lively girl. She only hoped Alexis didn't miss her father too much, she didn't know if she could deal with a sad, teary-eyed Alexis. Seeing an upset child always broke her heart a little. And if Alexis came to her, crying, because she missed her dad, Kate would probably join in.

Not really, but she did miss Castle. More than she cared to admit. After having said goodbye and tucking Alexis in on Friday night, he had left her with Martha and come by, intent on spending his last few hours on United States soil with her. In the coziness of her bed he'd made sure she'd really miss him (and his talented fingers) and she'd fallen asleep with her head on his chest and her skin sizzling. She'd woken to an empty bed in the early morning and some of that emptiness was still with her. It would be until he touched down safe and sound on Wednesday night and she could bury her nose in the collar of his shirt. Sometimes it scared her just how grave her feelings were for him. It was nothing like she had ever experienced before. At the same time though, it was exciting, the diving into the unknown with someone.

Her musing were interrupted by a flash of brown and red and she was glad she was leaning against the fence of the school when Louis and Alexis ran into either side of her, boring their chins into her hip and grinning up at her. It surprised her actually, Louis had always been a little clingy and in need of a hug after a long day of school, but recently he'd entered that phase Alexis was also currently going through; the no-kissing-and-hugging-your-parents-in-front-of-the-school phase.

"Hey you two," she grinned back, ruffling her fingers through Louis' thick, brown hair and Alexis' silky, red strands, loving the physical contact. "You ready to go home and have some fun?"

Both children nodded, already excited for whatever it was Kate had planned for them.

"After you finish your homework of course."

"Mom," Louis groaned and pressed his face into her stomach, effectively shutting out a world where a seven-year old had to do homework.

Kate laughed and took Louis' left and Alexis' right hand in hers and started walking to the next subway station.

Since she had the day off today and didn't need to hurry back to the Precinct after picking Louis up, she decided to forego the car and use the subway instead. It was a sunny day anyway and as far as she was concerned, her son spent too much time inside air-conditioned buildings for his young age.

Alexis was chitchatting about her day at school. They had apparently talked about amphibians and while they had all swooned over cute pictures of frogs their teacher had showed them, one cruel boy had told them that frogs were a delicacy in France, having made all the girls squeal in horror, much to his delight.

"But that's silly," Alexis shook her head. "People don't eat frogs. Frogs are cute." She said it with conviction and Kate was glad about that. She didn't have the heart to tell Alexis that there were some nations that served frogs. Even though she didn't find them cute at all.

They squeezed into the jammed subway car and Kate found Alexis looking around with wide eyes, her fingers clutching Kate's a little tighter.

"You don't ride the subway often, do you?" Kate asked her with a hint of amusement in her voice.

The redhead shook her head. "We usually take a cab or walk. Daddy says the subway's too crowded and I can get lost too easily."

"Just don't let go of my hand and we'll be fine." Alexis pressed herself a little more firmly against Kate's side, holding onto her hand with both of hers.

Kate looked down at Louis who was completely at ease. They rode the subway frequently. As a little boy Louis had been fascinated by them and sometimes they had ridden it just for fun.

It was only a few stops before they got off again.

"What's for lunch, mommy?"

"We have some noodle soup at home, is that okay with you?" Kate gave Alexis' hand a soft squeeze, asking for her approval as well.

"Noodles are always good," she replied with a grin. "Right, Louis?"

"Right! But not the kind with the spinach sauce or the broccoli one with the shrimps in it. Those are y-"

Kate squeezed his hand in warning and he blinked up at her with innocent eyes. "Those are not sauces I like."

"That's better." The boy seriously hated vegetables and Kate had had a hard time teaching him that food wasn't 'yuck' and declaring that full-throatedly at the diner when his burger came with a garnish of greens.

They arrived at her apartment building and Kate quickly unlocked the door, guiding the children into the now clean apartment. She had spent the better part of the morning vacuuming and brushing dust off of the shelves. She hated cleaning, but having Alexis stay over had given her enough motivation to grab the duster and get it over with.

"Why don't you two get started on your homework while I get the noodle soup ready? And afterwards we'll do something fun?" Kate suggested.

"Like what?" Louis asked, not convinced yet to start doing his homework. He loved school but disliked homework and always needed a little extra push.

"Well, since you keep finding money on the streets, I thought we could make our own piggy banks, so you can save all that money you find."

It was true, almost weekly Louis found a quarter on the sidewalk or a dime in the hallways of their apartment building.

"That's so cool mommy!" Louis exclaimed. "I'll do my homework real fast!" He grabbed a few books from his bag and rushed over to the large dining table.

"Don't rush it or you'll get the answers wrong," Kate warned and showed Alexis where she could sit at the table to do her own homework.

"You have really neat handwriting," Kate complimented Alexis as she checked on the children between cooking the soup and setting the table and offered her help.

"Thank you," she replied, the tip of her tongue poking out between her lips while she kept spelling out words. "I've been practicing with daddy. I'm a writer's daughter, I need to have neat handwriting."

"Just like your dad?" Kate asked but Alexis shook her head.

"Dad's handwriting is even worse than Louis'," she giggled with a glance at the math problems Louis had to solve.

"I can read it, that's all that matters," the boy grumbled back but tried harder to make his 9 look less like a 'g'.

"I can too," Kate assured him, and while it sometimes took her a while to recognize a word, nothing was worse than Castle's handwriting. It had taken her three tries to decipher what Castle had written above his signature that fateful day seven year ago where she'd waited in line for hours to get her book signed.

The children finished their homework and Kate served them a warm noddle soup with bits of carrot in it, which Louis carefully picked out.

After that, Kate covered the table in newspaper and got the materials ready.

She handed both of the children a balloon with the instruction to "inflate it the size you want your piggy to be".

"Since I find a lot of money, mine needs to be really big," Louis declared and blew out his cheeks comically before inflating his balloon, promptly making it pop.

Kate handed him a second one and helped him to knot it after he had inflated it to a size that suited him.

Next, they formed the ears and the nose together and taped them onto the balloon.

"I can see the pig already," Alexis stated after handing Louis the tape so he could give his pig four feet, two ears and a nose. In the meantime Kate got the papier-mâché ready and the children dipped their hands into the sticky substance and covered their pigs with it.

Kate helped them to cut the slit for the money into the pig and the children chose the color they wanted their pig to be.

"Mine is going to be red," Louis said, picking up the red paint. "It's going to be a fire-truck-pig."

"How are you going to do that?" Alexis asked while Kate cut a hole into her piggy's back.

"The feet are going to be black, for the tires and the ears will be blue."

"For the sirens, right?"

Louis nodded and Kate was proud of her son's creativity. She thought they'd both paint their pigs just one color but children never ceased to surprise her.

"How are you going to paint your pig?" Kate asked Alexis, handing her the pig back.

Instead of giving an immediate answer, Alexis asked her what her favorite color was.

"Purple," she said without hesitation.

"Then my pig will be purple," the redhead declared. "With yellow dots because that's my favorite color."

By the end of the day they had one red, blue and black pig and one purple and yellow pig and let the day fade away with a pepperoni pizza and a movie.

The movie ended and Kate turned the TV off. "Come on you two, let's take a quick shower before bed. Why don't you go first Alexis, since your hair needs longer to dry?"

Kate showed her the bathroom and the shampoo and soap she could use. "Are you okay showering on your own or do you need help?"

"I need help washing my hair," she admitted, averting her eyes.

"That's okay, you're allowed to need help with your hair, it's gotten so long." It was true, when they had first met, Alexis' hair had been a little longer than her shoulders, by know it went halfway down her ribcage and was difficult to take care of for an eight-year old.

"Call me when it's time to wash your hair, okay? I'll leave the door open so I can hear you."

Alexis nodded and Kate went back into the living room to spend a few minutes alone with her son.

"Hey Tiger, what's up? Are you okay with Alexis staying here?"

Louis nodded. "The piggy banks are really cool, thanks mommy."

"I'm glad you liked the idea," she told him as she pulled him in for a quick snuggle. She hoped that was something that would never fade - his love for cuddles.

"I think I should be getting Christmas and birthday money now," he said with a cheeky grin, his lashes fluttering as he peered up at her through them.

"We'll see about that," Kate retorted and ruffled his hair.

She heard Alexis call from the bathroom and quickly went to help her, leaving Louis with the instruction to look for his PJs and get his and Alexis' bed ready.

"This smells like cherries." Alexis peeked around the shower curtain and held Kate's shampoo up with a grin. "I love cherries."

"Let's make you smell like cherries then," Kate said, moving the shower curtain to the side and lathering Alexis' silky hair with the red shampoo, working the foam into a pointed hat on top of her head.

Alexis broke out in a fit of giggles when she saw her reflection in the mirror. She looked like a garden goblin.

"Remember to close your eyes when you wash the shampoo out," Kate reminded her, still grinning and drawing the curtain again.

Five minutes later, Alexis trudged into the living room where Kate was currently cleaning up the plates and empty juice glasses and Louis went into the shower. Alexis sat down on the couch, wearing a white and purple pajama with unicorns on it, trying to wrap a towel around her wet hair.

"Let me help you with that." Kate reached for the towel and got the excess water out of her hair, giving her scalp a little massage and the girl's eyes slipped closed in pleasure. Then Kate slung the towel across her shoulders and finger-combed through the red hair, separating the strands and leaving them to air-dry.

"All done. Why don't you set up your stuffed animals on the air bed in Louis' room and Louis and I will come find you in a minute?"

"I need to make sure they don't fall off at night anyway."

Kate didn't want to baby Louis and he didn't like being treated 'like a baby, mommy', but he was a little sloppy sometimes when it came to soaping his hair and rinsing all the soap out again, so she always peeked around the curtain when he showered and hoped he wouldn't notice.

When she peeked around the shower curtain today, Louis was just reaching for the shower head but the hair above his right ear was missing foam.

Even though he groaned and furrowed his brows, Kate reached out and massaged the shampoo in again, hearing the phone ring faintly in the living room.

"Alexis, could you get that for me?" she called, her hands wet and some soap trickling down Louis' face, dangerously close to his left eye.

"Got it," she heard Alexis yell and the ringing stopped when she took the receiver off the hook. Kate had to grin when she heard Alexis speak into the phone. "Beckett residence. Alexis speaking. Who is it?" She was simply adorable.

Next thing she knew, Alexis squealed into the phone, loud enough for Louis to hear in the shower. "Daddy!"

Kate quickly got the shower head, telling Louis to close his eyes before turning the water jet onto Louis' head, ruffling through his wet hair a little rougher than usual to get all the soap out. She couldn't wait to hear Castle's voice.

When Louis was finally clean, she wrapped him in a towel and halfway sprinted through the hallway into the living room where she saw Alexis hanging up just as she arrived.

"Was that your dad?" she asked, even though it was needless, she already knew it was him.

"Yeah," Alexis replied with a smile.

And what? He didn't want to talk to her? Kate furrowed her brow in confusion and also something that might be close to hurt. She'd only received a very short e-mail from him the day he landed, saying he was in his hotel now but had to be at the first book store in a couple of hours.

"But I think he was in a tunnel or something, I barely understood anything and had to repeat that I'm fine three times before he got it."

That explained it. "India is pretty far away, Lex, long distance calls are always a little tricky."

"Yeah, he showed me on the globe we have at home," the redhead agreed, her face falling a little, one hand twisting around the hem of her PJ top.

"Do you miss him?" Kate asked softly, watching as Louis padded into his room to change into his PJs.

"A little." Alexis looked down at the floor and pressed her lips together but Kate didn't miss the slight watering of her eyes.

"Hey." She pulled the girl into a hug, stroked through her damp hair. "You're already over the halftime. It's just one more full day without seeing him. And I promise we'll do something fun together to make the time go by fast, okay?"

Alexis rested her cheek on Kate's stomach and nodded, sniffling a few times, clearly fighting against the tears.

Kate played with Alexis' hair, knowing she loved it, and offered the little comfort she could to the girl.

"You know what? The faster you go to sleep now, the faster it'll be tomorrow and the faster it'll be Wednesday and your daddy will be here again."

"Okay," Alexis nodded again and looked up at her with a small smile.

"Then let's go to bed," Kate grinned, leading the girl into Louis' room, who was already under the covers.

"Can you read us a story, mommy?" he asked.

"Sure thing." Kate helped Alexis to lie down on the bouncy air bed before picking up a book and kneeling on the far side of Alexis' air bed and lying the book down on Louis' bed, being close to both children when she started to read.

* * *

_There's a reason I chose India, can anyone guess? ;) _

_Twitter: kbymyside_


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Chapter 23**

Thirty minutes ticked by slowly and she was still waiting. She'd been a little early but the info screen said Castle's plane landed fifteen minutes ago and she was getting restless. The others waiting with her to be reunited with a loved one were also sighing and tapping their feet impatiently. It was almost unbearable.

Louis would always bounce up and down on the balls of his feet when he was on edge and while she wasn't as bad, she really couldn't wait to lay eyes on Castle again. Or hear his voice. She'd never thought she'd say this, but the last five days had been eerily silent without him and she'd missed the deep rumble of his voice in her apartment, in her bed.

Furthermore, she'd go so far as to say she missed _him_, which was new for her. She'd never missed a man in her life. Her former boyfriend had been with the FBI and used to be gone for weeks, solving cases all over the country and she'd never missed him. But then again he wasn't Castle.

She has never been in a relationship like this before (sometimes she feels like this is her first _real_ relationship) and has never had trouble sleeping before because she hadn't heard from her boyfriend for days and his scent was no longer lingering in the unwashed sheets of her bed.

She figured that was reason enough to be a little like the fourteen year old schoolgirl with the crush.

Finally there was some movement on the opposite side of the glass wall. People started walking towards the baggage conveyer belt that held the luggage of Castle's flight and among the first few people, she saw his thick head of dark brown hair, the rest of his tall figure shielded from view by other passengers.

He didn't scan the crowd on her side of the glass looking for her because he wasn't expecting anyone to pick him up. He thought she'd be waiting for him at home with the kids like they had stipulated and he'd be taking a taxi. So, Kate leaned against a pillar across from the doors he'd walk through in a few minutes, certain he'd make her out in her navy blue blouse that stood in stark contrast with the white concrete at her back.

Luckily, she didn't have to wait long. Castle was the proud owner of a Gold Card, meaning his luggage was one of the first on the belt. She saw him grab his suitcase, pull out the handle and make his way to the door. He looked tired, worn-out and thoroughly jet-lagged but he was a sight for sore eyes nevertheless.

He casually strolled through the doors, looking down at his cell which he had just turned on again and looked up briefly to check where he was going. He caught sight of her and looked down at his cell again, his sleep-deprived brain clearly not completely processing what he had just laid eyes on. Kate smirked when his brow furrowed as realization hit and he stopped dead in his tracks, almost causing another passenger to run into him.

This time when he looked at her, he held her gaze and the most beautiful smile spread over his face.

Returning his smile, Kate stalked the distance between them and threw her arms around his neck, pulling his head down and kissing him with such desperation and fervor that Castle's knees actually buckled and he had to hold onto her with both hands to keep the two of them upright, his suitcase toppling over with a soft thump when he released the handle.

"Miss me?" he laughed softly after they were forced to break apart due to people not so discreetly clearing their throats around them.

"Shut up," Kate mumbled with a smile as she hid her face in his neck, a little embarrassed about losing it so completely, but still pressing her body into his, not intending to let go of him in the next couple of minutes.

She felt him press a kiss to her head and breathe her scent in. It was clear, _somebody_ missed _somebody_.

When her face had taken on a normal shade of skin color again, she pushed up on her toes, pressing her lips to his in a sweet and way more decent kiss.

"I think I need to leave more often if this is the welcome I get," Castle chuckled and Kate shot him her best 'don't you dare' look.

He pressed a light kiss to the tip of her nose, and she knew he was joking. Being away this long from his home and his little girl was never easy for him, and the tension slowly started to drain from his body when he wrapped one arm around her and walked towards the exit, his suitcase dragged behind him.

"Where are the children?" he asked as he slipped his arm from around her back, respecting her rules. Even though she wasn't on duty, she was still a cop, always on alert, and especially in crowded places like the airport she couldn't stand being physically restricted.

She touched his wrist in gratitude before pushing the button for the elevator. "I left them at the loft with your mother. Told them to go to bed but they're probably waiting for you," she explained with a shrug of her shoulder, for a change not caring that they were up beyond their bedtime. They had missed Castle as much as she had, in Alexis' case probably even more.

"Let's go then," Castle said, impatiently waiting for the elevator to arrive. Kate couldn't fathom what he must be going through. She and Louis had never been separated for more than twenty-four hours.

They were quiet on the ride home. He was probably tired - it was early morning in Mumbai after all - and he'd once told her he doesn't sleep well on airplanes. She was content with just sitting next to him, his palm warm on her thigh.

He had closed his eyes for a couple of minutes but was wide awake, even jittery, when she parked her car in front of his building. He couldn't wait to get upstairs and see his baby, therefore Kate took his shoulder bag and suitcase, allowing him to storm up into the apartment and hug his little girl tight.

After missing the keyhole twice he finally managed to get the door open and no sooner squeals of "Daddy, daddy!" were echoing around the loft and the hallway outside.

When Kate entered the loft behind Castle and closed the door so as not to disturb the neighbors, she couldn't keep the happy smile off her face. A pajama-clad Alexis was already clinging tightly to Castle, her thin legs wound around his waist and her short arms wrapped around his shoulders. He showered her face and hair with kisses, telling her how much he had missed her over and over again. Martha was watching the scene from her spot on the couch, a glass of wine in her hands and Louis, who had also jumped up and ran towards Castle when he first came into the loft, was standing off the side a little awkwardly. Castle noticed and shifted Alexis onto his left hip before bending down dramatically and tipping the girl's head back, picking up Louis. He settled him on his right hip and kissed both children's hair again, holding onto them firmly with his strong arms.

Kate sat down on the couch next to Martha who squeezed her hand. There was no need for words to be exchanged, the simple gesture was enough to let Kate know Martha currently had the same lump in her throat and too was battling with the same onslaught of emotions the picture of Castle and the two children evoke.

Kate squeezed her hand back, too touched by the scene in front of her to do much else. Castle was an amazing father with such a big heart.

Castle bent forward again, dipping both children dangerously low, and Kate actually sucked in a breath. He'd never drop them, but they were both fairly heavy by now. The children giggled though and held on to him before he straightened again and placed them back on their feet.

"Who wants their present?" Castle lured them closer to his suitcase by rubbing his hands together excitedly, immediately catching the children's attention. He opened his suitcase and pulled a large, white plastic bag out and carried it over to the couch, where Martha and Kate were still sitting. The children were following him closely, trying to sneak a peek into the bag.

Castle mad a big show of getting the presents out of the bag. He kept rummaging and 'ahh-ing' and 'ohh-ing' until Alexis couldn't take it anymore.

"Daddy," she scolded but it came out more like a giggle and she dropped to the floor in front of Martha with an exasperated sigh. Finally Castle pulled something out of the bag, moving his arm in Alexis' direction, but instead of giving it to her, he gave it to Martha, making the little girl huff in annoyance. But she still turned around to inspect the colorful silk scarf Castle had gotten his mother with interest.

"Richard, this is beautiful," Martha said in wonder while wrapping the scarf around her neck. "Such gorgeous patterns!"

"I also got you this," Castle grinned and handed her a pouch with many different, exotic-looking teabags.

"Oh, thank God, you remembered." Martha wrapped her son in a tight hug. "Missed you, kiddo," she told him quietly.

"Missed you too, mother," he replied, pressing a kiss to her cheek before reaching into the bag again and pulling another fabric out, this time something light blue and sparkly.

"Can you guess what this is?" he asked Alexis while holding the garment out for her to see.

The redhead looked at it for a minute before clamping her hands in front of her mouth, her eyes widening with disbelief and joy.

"Mm-hhhm," Castle nodded, reading her thoughts. "It's the Indian version of Princess Jasmine's outfit. It's a sari. With pants instead of a skirt, so it looks very similar." Alexis squealed, jumping up and down excitedly before bowling into her dad, squeezing his waist tight.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," she chanted, grinning widely and letting her hands run over the soft piece of clothing which looked eerily similar to the one her favorite Disney princess wore.

Kate knew they'd been looking at costumes lately, so Alexis and her friends could dress up as their favorite Disney princesses, but none of the costumes in stores had been to Alexis' liking or were special enough. Martha had offered to sew her one, but warned that it might take months before she got the right fabric and found the time as she was quite busy with her shows. She'd likely have procrastinated anyway; Martha wasn't too keen on sewing, so Castle had done her a favor by getting Alexis the sari.

"You're welcome," Castle chuckled, clearly amused by his daughter's behavior.

Next he got a wooden flute out of the bag and handed it to Louis with a dramatic gesture of his hand and a bow.

"I don't know if you can find any snakes around New York that are cooperative enough to dance for you, but at least you can get your mom out of bed on a Sunday morning to make you breakfast."

Martha was on the verge of scolding her son, this was definitely not how she'd raised him, but Louis accepted the flute and sank into the couch cushions in a fit of giggles while Kate reached out and managed to slap Castle's thigh before he could escape her hand.

"Castle," she hissed, shaking her head, "Don't give him any ideas."

Castle's laughter was drowned out by a shrill shriek of the wooden flute as Louis blew into it experimentally.

Cringing, Castle reached into the bag one last time and pulled out a wooden box with beautiful inlaid marble work decorating the lid.

"And this is for you, Detective," he smiled as he handed her the box and plopped down on the couch next to her.

"You got me something?" Kate asked, her voice full of disbelief and wonder. She hadn't expected anything at all, it had actually surprised her that he had had the time to get any presents at all, his schedule had looked pretty busy.

"Of course I did," Castle said easily and bumped her shoulder with his. "Open it."

Kate did as she was told and slowly lifted the lid, revealing four wooden, hand-carved elephants, each one holding its trunk high in a sense of pride, one smaller than the previous one.

They were beautiful. The carving was detailed and accurate and surely done by hand. Kate traced the bumps and dents in the light wood with her index finger, relishing in the smoothness of the wood against her skin.

"They're beautiful, thank you Castle."

In response, he pressed a kiss to her temple.

Alexis and Louis came closer, also inspecting the elephants.

"You're the big one daddy," Alexis giggled, pointing to the first elephant, being her eight-year-old silly and tired self.

"And you're this one, Kate," she pointed to the second elephant, "It's clearly a woman because its tusks are smaller, and female elephants have very small tusks and male elephants have large ones."

Kate picked up on the redhead's train of thought and traced the third elephant in the box. "This one must be you then," she looked at Alexis and gave her a soft smile. "And this one," she lifted the smallest elephant from the box, showing it to Louis, "Is you."

Louis reached for his elephant and looked at it closely while Kate turned to Alexis again. "I like that idea, Alexis. And you know what? I'll take these to the Precinct and put them on my desk, that way I don't have to miss you guys so much when I'm at work."

"Because you can't have pictures, right?" Louis asked, the small elephant clutched in his fist.

"Why can't you have pictures?" Alexis immediately asked, always curious.

"Because sometimes the bad guys get to see her desk, and they shouldn't know that she has a family," Louis explained, snuggling a little closer to his mother.

"Exactly," Kate agreed and put a hand around Louis to hold him against her side.

"Kind of like daddy doesn't want pictures of me in the paper and gets really mad when there are people with cameras waiting for us?"

Kate looked at Castle for help, and he nodded. "That's right, Lex, but this is a good solution don't you think?"

"It's awesome! And they're even a family!" Alexis cheered and bobbed happily up and down before her face split into a huge yawn, making the three adults in the room laugh.

"Off to bed you two," Kate said and waggled her hands in a shooing motion. She got up from the couch to follow the children upstairs but stopped when Alexis came to a stand at the bottom of the stairs, turning shyly around to her father.

"Dad?" she asked, wanting to be tucked in by him tonight, after not seeing him for five days.

Castle understood immediately. "Be up in a minute, Pumpkin. Let me talk to your gram first."

Alexis happily climbed the rest of the stairs and brushed her teeth in sync with Louis before hopping into her bed, while Kate tucked Louis in, kissing his forehead and running her hand through his hair until he closed his eyes.

Soon after, Castle appeared in the doorway, carrying Alexis' new sari and sat down on the edge of her bed.

Kate always had to smile at how ridiculous Castle looked in the tiny, narrow bed with the purple bedding.

She decided to give them some privacy, and went downstairs where Martha currently went through the different sorts of tea Castle had gotten her.

"Nice to have him back, hm?" the older woman said without looking up.

"Very," Kate smiled. "Are you staying the night?" she asked as she sat down next to her. "I only want to know how much I need to prepare for breakfast tomorrow," she hurriedly explained. It was none of her business whether or not Martha stayed at the loft. While the older woman had a small studio apartment above her acting school, she still had her own room at Castle's loft where she sometimes spent the night while Castle was out and she was watching Alexis, or when she simply wanted to spend some time with them.

"Oh, I think I'll make myself scarce and leave you two lovebirds alone." Kate felt her cheeks heat up, even though Martha said it almost nonchalantly. She hadn't had a parent for so long and Martha's indiscretion about her and Castle's or her own sex life always left her shifting in her seat. Maybe it was a normal thing, talking to your parents about your sex life, but she didn't know. She hadn't had many nice things to say to her parents while in high school, and then she'd been off to college, and soon after she'd found herself parentless. Her mother lost to the injustice of the world, her father to the bottle.

"Right," Kate said a little dumbly out of lack for something else to say. Luckily, Castle chose that moment to descend the stairs and Martha got up to say goodbye to him. She kissed her son on the cheek and hugged him tight again, before waving to Kate and closing the loft's door behind her.

"You alright?" Castle asked when he walked over to where she was sitting on the couch, her eyes downcast.

"Yeah, yeah," she mumbled and got up quickly, wrapping her arms around him and pressing her nose against his collarbone. "Missed you."

"I missed you too, Kate," he said quietly, lying his cheek on top of her head while they swayed from side to side, simply enjoying the moment.

It was the perfect melancholic moment to let it all out, let him hold her up while she cried over the wrongness of her life, but she pulled herself together. The past week had taken a toll on Castle, he was exhausted and they should be in bed now, making up for what they had missed out on the past few days.

She forced her mouth into a playful grin and looked up at him. "Want me to show you just how much I missed you? Or are you too tired for that?" she teased, already backing away from him with an extra sway to her hips, something she knew would catch Castle's attention, and the hunger in his eyes set fire to her insides.

"Never too tired for that," Castle growled and basically lunged himself at her, pulling her close and fusing his lips to hers in a searing kiss that evaporated everything that wasn't him, _them_.

XXX

"Good morning," Castle said cheerily as he passed Ryan's and Esposito's desks.

"Hey Castle," they said in unison and watched him as he walked over to Kate's empty desk, carrying two cups of coffee.

"She is just catching our Captain up on the case," Ryan provided when Castle started searching the bullpen for her.

"Oh, so you have a case?" He tried to ask it nonchalantly, like he was just another boyfriend who wanted to know if his girlfriend would be over for dinner tonight, not like the mystery writer he was, always on the scout for an idea he could use in a book.

"Yep. Victim's a spy." Ryan opened a folder and shrugged his shoulders, pretending this is everyday business for them.

Castle's interest was piqued and unconsciously, he started walking to where the two Detectives were sitting.

"Had some kind of super-weapon on him when we found him," Esposito played along. "Can't wait to test-fire that thing."

Castle stared at them in disbelief, already outlining _Derrick Storm_'s newest case in his head. Maybe, if he talked to his friend, the Mayor, he'd be able to get the case files, or even better, witness the test-firing of the weapon.

"Victim's not a spy," Kate's curt voice carried across the bullpen, bringing Castle out of his daydreaming.

"I knew that," he lied, holding his chin a little higher, walking over to Kate's desk at a smart pace.

He heard the boys snickering behind him and Kate's look told him she caught him but he ignored that. Since meeting her partners for the first time two weeks ago, they had met twice. Played video games, ordered pizza, and Ryan and Esposito had quickly learned how easy it was to make a little fun of him. They were buddies and got along well and had fun together, but Castle was such an easy mark that the boys sometimes couldn't resist.

At her desk, his gaze immediately fell on the four elephants, parading proudly next to her name plate. They looked good on her desk, gave it a little more personal touch.

Kate caught his gaze and her face softened a little before she slipped back into work mode. "What are you doing here anyway?" she asked, not unfriendly but also not overly delighted.

"I woke up to an empty loft and thought I should thank you properly for taking Alexis to school." He held one of the coffee cups out for her and she took it, pushing the blue mug she usually used at the Precinct, to the corner of her desk. Castle picked it up, took a quick look at the lukewarm, watery swill and set it down on Kate's desk with a loud thump.

"That's it!" He shook his head and fished his phone out his pocket, dialing a number before disappearing into the break room where Kate couldn't hear him.

She shot him curious glances when he re-appeared and sat down in "his" chair. "What was that all about?"

"Surprise." And that's all he said about that matter. The glare he got from Kate did nothing to convince him to reveal more.

"Listen Castle, not that I don't appreciate you bringing me coffee, because I do, but you can't be here, not when we're on a case."

"But what about my surprise?" He knew he was whining but he had missed her while he'd been in India and one night, no matter how amazing it had been, did not make up for that. And if he went home now, he'd probably fall asleep, his body still working Indian time.

Kate glared at him. She was obviously not in the best mood today.

"Just thirty more minutes," he begged.

When she rolled her eyes and sighed, he knew he won. "Fine. But you wait in the break room."

He was more than happy to do that. It actually gave him a chance to prepare the room for his surprise. He closed the door behind him and unplugged the old coffee maker, dumping the rest of the stale coffee in the sink.

He just finished cleaning the old coffee maker when a delivery boy entered the bullpen. "Delivery for Kate Beckett?" He was pushing a very large, square packet and Castle saw Kate eyeing it with suspicion before giving the delivery boy her signature.

Luckily the bullpen was relatively empty so the only ones watching as the delivery boy pulled an already built, ready to use espresso machine out of the cardboard box and placed it one the counter where Castle showed him, were Kate and the guys.

"I got you an espresso machine," Castle said with a proud grin, standing next to machine and throwing an arm around it, as if posing for a photo with a good friend.

"Your coffee seriously was not drinkable, but this baby here, makes an espresso that's to die for." He almost lovingly traced the machine's buttons and knobs.

Since the three wary looks he got were not satisfying, he grabbed a cup from one of the shelves. "Who wants the first cup?"

Ryan and Esposito looked at each other, both not a fan of fancy, creamy coffee.

"Beckett, why don't you ...?"

"Yeah, let Beckett have the first cup," Ryan agreed with his partner, pretending to be chivalrous when in reality both he and Espo were not keen on trying that stuff.

With child-like glee, Castle placed the cup under the machine, pressed a few buttons and soon the rich fragrance of freshly brewed coffee filled the break room.

Sensing, that he needed to do a little more to sell his machine, Castle got the milk and poured it in while twisting and turning the cup in his hand. In the end, he had created something that had the round shape of a large wine glass with a heart in the middle.

He presented her his artwork with a flourish and his most charming grin. "One for the lady."

When Esposito caught sight of the artwork on the coffee, he spun on his heel comically fast and fled the break room with a groan, Ryan following closely.

"I think I scared them off." Castle smiled a little sheepishly and Kate took a tentative sip to hide her own smile.

"This is amazing, Castle, but you can't just buy my Precinct an espresso machine."

"Think of it as a donation to the Police Department. Your old coffee was crap."

"Well then, thank you." She pressed the quickest of kisses against his jaw before banning him from the Precinct for the day for good.

* * *

Author's Note: I had parts of this chapter written before Veritas aired and just didn't have the heart to delete/change it.

Twitter: kbymyside


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Chapter 24**

"Castle?"

Her voice sounded faint over the phone and it wasn't because of bad reception.

"Could you come pick me up from somewhere?"

"Sure, Kate. What's going on?" He stuffed the last of the cheese in the fridge and grabbed his wallet from where he left in on the counter after coming back from the supermarket.

"I'll explain everything when you get here. I'm at the corner of Thompson and Bleecker Street, outside _The Red Lion_."

"I know the place, be there in ten."

He locked the loft behind him and took the stairs to the parking garage beneath his building. Anxious energy was already bottling up inside him and being physically active always brought him some relief.

At least she hadn't sounded scared this time, so he wasn't too worried, but there had been a defeat to her voice that made him pick up the pace on the last flight of stairs.

He slipped behind the wheel of his Mercedes, but when he arrived at the restaurant, there were the flashing lights of police vehicles and ambulances, and news vans occupied every single parking spot. Typical. But at least he knew he was at the right place.

A little worried now, he jammed his car into a narrow spot two blocks away, and reached for the pair of sunglasses that he always kept in the glove compartment for emergencies. He slipped them on before checking the backseat and then the trunk for a cap. He's not too tidy and surely there must be something to cover his head-

He found a ratty, bleached baseball cap that he didn't recognize and put it on with a disgusted shudder, before locking the car and easily jogging the two blocks to the restaurant slash crime scene.

The scene was crowded and he was careful to shield his face from the press, pictures of him in the papers picking up his Detective girlfriend from a crime scene was the last thing he needed right now. He actually didn't need _any_ pictures of them in the papers.

He couldn't spot Kate anywhere behind the police barrier and the three ambulances that were at the scene suddenly had him worried. She hadn't sounded bad though, just a little tired, and surely if it were something serious, she would have told him to hurry or something of the like.

He was just about to fish his phone out of the back pocket of his jeans, when Ryan spotted him and discreetly waved him through the barrier.

"She's over there," he said, pointing to one of the ambulances and assigned one of the officers standing around to escort him.

His steps were fast and measured and the officer that was supposed to accompany him, hurried to catch up with him.

Kate was sitting in the back of an ambulance, arguing with a young EMT that she didn't need to lie down, she's feeling 'perfectly fine'. The poor paramedic seemed a little exasperated - Kate could be so stubborn, he knew that better than anyone else - before thrusting an ice pack at her with the instructions to hold it to the frightful-looking laceration on her forehead and leaving her to tend to someone else.

She did as she was told and held the ice pack to her head with a tired sigh, but her head jerked up when she saw him.

He was by her side in an instant, his sunglasses tucked into the vee of his shirt, one hand curling around her shoulder, palm against the dried blood on her blazer, the other feathering around the angry cut high on her forehead.

"Hey," he breathed and her eyes slipped closed when he cupped her jaw and angled her head so he could inspect the gash. "What happened?"

"Nothing bad. Got an elbow to the face while we were trying to take down a frantic suspect. Caught me by surprise."

"Did anyone else got hurt? I saw Ryan-"

"Espo's okay. Suspect was the sous-chef of the restaurant and started throwing plates and pans at us, but except for a few cuts and bruises everyone's fine," she mumbled and leaned her head against the side of the ambulance.

Only now Castle noticed how pale she was. "What did the paramedics say? Are they sure you're okay?"

"She's far from okay," the paramedic from earlier cut in. "Don't think she has a concussion but she lost a lot of blood and-"

"Head wounds bleed a lot," Kate defended and fixed the young man with a glare. "And I do not need to go to the hospital for a CT scan. Castle here will take me home, I'll sleep for a few hours and take some Tylenol, then I'll be good as new."

The paramedic just threw his hands up, and Castle found himself giving him a sympathetic smile. Kate could be a little ... difficult when it came to her well-being. And she hated being the center of attention and being fussed about.

"I'll check for signs of concussion," Castle assured him, helping Kate to a standing position. "Anything else I should do?"

"The blood loss is making her sleepy, and even though she needs to rest, you should wake her every couple of hours. And should she feel nauseous, or dizzy, or throw up or anything of the like, take her to a hospital. Immediately."

With one last stern look at Kate, the paramedic took her ice pack and disappeared into the ambulance, leaving them to themselves.

"I parked the car about two blocks from here, are you okay to walk?" he asked, one hand on her biceps to steady her. He wanted to hug her, hold her close, and reassure him that she was fine, but that was contrary to all of her rules.

She ran a hand across her face, her fingers skirting over a few spots of dried blood that she hadn't caught with the wet paper towels, and nodded.

Castle watched in amazement as the slouching, heavy-lidded Kate Beckett from the back of the ambulance transformed into the determined Detective Beckett that stood straight and held her chin high.

She shook his hand off her arm and strode through the police barriers, nodding to a few fellow officers and detectives, and marched down the first block until she was out of view. Only then did she allow her steps to falter; with Castle being the only one to witness her showing weakness.

He immediately cupped her elbow and she allowed his touch, allowed him to help her walk the last block, and maneuver her into the passenger seat of his Mercedes.

Her head lolled against the closed door and Castle helped her with her seatbelt when he slid behind the wheel.

She was fighting against sleep and Castle nudged her shoulder every few seconds to keep her awake. They weren't far from the loft and she'd need to take a shower. It would do her no good if she fell asleep now and Castle had to wake her in fifteen minutes. She'd be so grumpy.

When the car was parked beneath his building, he actually debated whether or not he should carry her upstairs, but Kate didn't like to be babied and taken care of. And true to herself, she kicked the car door open, detangled herself from the seatbelt, and got out on shaky legs.

"Easy Kate," Castle murmured and slipped an arm around her waist to guide her to the elevator.

In the loft, Kate stumbled out of her shoes and Castle pushed her towards the bathroom, sliding her ruined blazer from her shoulders.

"Start the shower Kate, I'll be right back."

He saw her struggling with the buttons on her blouse and skidded through the loft on socked feet, almost crashing into the fridge.

Blindly groping around for a juice box, he also grabbed a water bottle and the package of Tylenol Martha kept hidden in one of the kitchen cabinets, out of Alexis' reach.

Back in the bathroom, Kate was already standing under the spray, her back against the cold tile of the shower, her face angled away from the water.

Castle shed his clothes and stepped into the shower cubicle, handing her the juice box. "Drink this, it should help get your blood sugar up a little."

Kate hated drinking with straws but started sipping the apple juice without arguing, her body exhausted from re-producing the blood she'd lost, and Castle guided her directly under the spray of the warm water, his broad body replacing the supporting tiles.

Making sure her face remained dry, he grabbed a washcloth and started scrubbing at her shoulders and neck and ear, everywhere the blood had touched and dried. Then he started to gently wipe at the slope of her nose, her cheek, her eyebrow, until she began hissing because he came too close to the wound.

The wound was high on her forehead, the butterfly stitches almost touching her hairline and some of the curls around her face were dark with blood.

"Can you bend your head back a little so I can wash your hair?" he asked and Kate looked up at him with luminous eyes, two tender fingers coming up to stroke his jaw.

"I'm okay, Castle. And yes I can. Just be careful with the shampoo."

"I wasn't going to use any," he told her while she turned her back to him, already tipping her head back.

"Please do. Or else my hair will be all greasy after it's dried."

After wringing out the washcloth he'd used, he positioned it at her hairline so it would soak the water and shampoo up, then softened the spray and ran it through her hair. She still kept it at shoulder-length, the curls glossy and strong. Unlike Alexis' hair. It had gotten so long over the past few months and was already starting to thin out at the tips and lose color. Also, ever since Kate started doing her hair, Alexis had been trying to braid it herself the mornings Kate wasn't at the loft, and he got a feeling that she actually ripped out quite a lot of hair while doing that. Maybe they should get her a hair cut, and then Kate could teach her how to properly take care of her hair and how to do an easy braid on herself.

With all this responsibility resting on his shoulders, Castle started shampooing Kate's hair with the utmost care and in the end, he actually managed to get her hair washed without any soapy water getting into her wound.

When they stepped out of the shower, Kate was looking much better. She had a little color in her cheeks and was steady on her feet when she leaned into his body and brushed her lips over his in a soft kiss.

"Thank you."

"Always, Kate. Anything."

Her fingers slipped around the hot skin of his ribcage, and the vulnerability that she let him - and him only - see had his heart thrashing against the palm of her hand.

"Are you okay, too, Castle? You're quiet."

"We'll talk when the kids are in bed, okay?"

Kate wasn't entirely happy with that answer, but when he handed her her sleep shirt, she slipped it on and then reached for his hand.

"Lie down with me for a little while?"

"'Course." His voice was rough because how do you explain to your independent Detective girlfriend that your over-imaginative mind was currently in overdrive? And that you wanted her to move in, so that she'd always come home to you after a bad day and you could take care of her?

"You want to know one of the reasons why I called you earlier?" she asked him as she slipped under the covers of his bed and leaned against the headboard. "Alexis."

It was only then that he realized she called _him_. She could have asked one of the boys or one of the many officers on the scene to drive her home, but she called _him_.

"I love you," he blurted gracelessly and Kate startled, having been elsewhere with her thoughts.

Soft fingers stroked the slope of his ear, ended up cradling his jaw, and Kate leaned over, pressing a hard kiss to his mouth and giving him that soft smile that she reserved for him. "I love you too."

It was only the second time he heard those words out of her mouth, and he felt his heart swell in his chest, thumping erratically against his ribcage.

"But, Castle, we really need to figure out how to deal with her. And this," she said, one hand pointing to the harsh cut on her face, breaking their little moment.

Shit, he hadn't even thought of that. Alexis had such a tender heart and deep admiration for Kate, that she was bound to get hurt more deeply than she already would if they did this the wrong way.

"How do you- Louis?" he asked, scrubbing a hand over his face. This had so not been on today's agenda.

"This is the first time in two years that I actually got hurt," Kate admitted. "So, it'll be kind of new for us, too. But when he was little, I usually told him the truth. I'd censor it a little, leave a few details out, but he'd get the bare bones of it. Then he'd kiss it better, and after an evening on the couch, he'd usually be okay. He came to me a few times because he had nightmares, but they were never reoccurring. Oh, and I would usually wear make-up all the time, so the bruises wouldn't look as harsh. I think that helped."

"Okay, let's do that," Castle agreed heavily. "Let's tell her the truth, and then have comfort food on the couch."

She could probably sense that he wasn't as okay as he'd looked in the shower, because her hand found his on top of the covers. "I'm s-"

"No," Castle interrupted. "Don't. This isn't your fault."

Guilt clouded her eyes and he could see that she wanted to argue with him, but he wouldn't let her. This wasn't her fault. So, he cupped the side of her face, his fingers brushing the wet strands of her hair, and pressed his lips to hers.

"Rest, Kate."

XXX

She had to promise him three times that she would stay awake while he got the children before he actually left.

One part of her liked that he was so caring and attentive, the other couldn't stand his hovering.

She'd gotten an elbow to the head, not a bullet to the chest. She'd slept for two hours, taken some Tylenol and downed a bottle of water and a granola bar for her blood sugar. She hadn't been dizzy when she'd gotten up to use the bathroom and she had been able to answer all his questions satisfactorily. She was fine, seriously.

The minute the door clicked closed, she'd slipped out of bed and called Ryan for news on the case. Afterwards, she'd checked out the wound. There was only minimal bruising on the surrounding skin and it didn't look as angry anymore. It was just a little over an inch long, but the ragged edge of the cut made it look harsher than it was.

Her hair had dried in messy curls and she parted it a little off center so some hair would fall over her forehead naturally.

She slipped into a pair of worn leggings when the front door opened again and she heard Castle and the children hustle in.

"Mom?" she heard Louis call and the sound of shoes on wooden flooring echoed through the loft.

She had barely rounded the corner of Castle's office, when Louis crashed into her.

"Hey Tiger," she breathed and hugged him close, waiting for the stiffness of his spine to dissipate. His thin arms were like iron around her waist, but she cradled his skull against her belly, rubbed her thumb over his ear until he let out a deep sigh and slackened his hold on her. Louis looked up at her with those big, brown eyes that were dark with worry today, and she dropped to her knees in front of him, allowing him to inspect the cut closely.

He brushed her hair away from her forehead and she bit back a wince when it pulled at her sensitive scalp.

Very softly, Louis ran his fingers over the butterfly stitches and she heard his breath hitch.

"It's okay, baby, not that bad, just looks a little angry because it's fresh. Mommy's okay."

"Not a baby," he huffed before his voice turned soft again. "Does it hurt?"

"Barely. But would you like to kiss it better, just to be sure?"

"Just to be sure," Louis agreed and leaned it, placing the softest of kisses against it. As a toddler, he had always smacked his lips against her injuries, multiple times, and it had taken her years to teach him that sometimes less was more. But she was glad he remembered, she didn't think she could take it if he kissed it with more force today.

When Louis pulled back, she gave him a beaming smile, and he let out a sigh of relief, and it occurred to her, that he hadn't asked for the story but simply accepted. She gaged whether to tell him or not, but he looked fine. Nothing of the scared four-year-old that had clung to her for days when she hadn't been able to dodge the sharp blade of a knife to be seen, and tonight, when she tucked him in, she would promise him again that she was doing everything in her might to stay safe.

Kate turned her head to look for Alexis and Castle, and to her horror she found Alexis hiding behind Castle, clutching his waist and burying her face in his hipbone. Castle tried to pry free from her arms and get her to hug Kate, but Alexis only held on tighter, shaking her head and sniffing suspiciously.

With one last kiss to Louis' head, Kate sank to her haunches in front of Castle, and started untangling Alexis' arms from her father's waist.

"Hey, Alexis, what's wrong?" she asked softly, trying to catch the girl's gaze, but Alexis refused to look at her, now sniffling harder. Ashamed of her tears, or scared of her, or just overwhelmed, Kate didn't know, and pushed Castle out of the way once he was freed.

Kate hugged her close and Alexis clung to her neck, tears coursing down her cheeks freely.

"What's wrong, Lex?" she asked again. "Did you get scared?"

The redhead nodded and Kate put a little distance between them so she could look her in the eyes. "Do you want to look at it and then listen to the story?"

Kate gathered her hair away from her forehead, and Alexis framed her face with her tiny hands, reminding Kate of how young she really was and how protected she'd grown up. Castle had always shielded her from everything after Meredith had left, and now Alexis had a hard time dealing with the bitter truth. She was easily overwhelmed and upset, always on the verge of becoming hysterical.

From the periphery of her vision, she saw Castle leading a calm Louis into the kitchen, distracting him by filling a pot with water for the noodles and getting cheese out of the fridge that needed to be grated, trusting her to deal with the girl.

Alexis probed the laceration with gentle fingers and then sought out Kate's eyes, an unspoken question lingering in hers.

"Go ahead," Kate gave her permission and Alexis dropped two soft kisses to her forehead.

"Thank you," she smiled and sat on the floor cross-legged, her arms open in invitation.

Without hesitation, Alexis crawled into her lap, her little body stiff, but her cheeks dry again.

"I got an elbow to the face," Kate started to explain. "By someone who panicked. That could have happened anywhere, to anyone."

"So they didn't do it to hurt you?" Alexis asked, her voice tiny, and with the way she'd phrased her question, Kate couldn't tell her the truth. That yes, it had been done on purpose, with the intent to hurt her.

"No, he didn't. He was scared and couldn't think straight anymore and I didn't expect it to happen, so I wasn't quick enough to duck. It was my fault entirely. I promise to be more careful in the future."

"Oh," Alexis breathed, snuggling closer. "Daddy said you had to sleep a lot because you bled a lot. Is that true?"

This time, it was Castle that answered, trying to fix what he had messed up by truthfully explaining to the children why Kate needed to rest. "Remember how you hit your head on the bench at the playground once and daddy almost fainted in front of all your friends and you only giggled?"

"Yeah," Alexis nodded and Kate spotted Louis in the kitchen behind Castle, stirring the sauce to their noodles.

"That's because head wounds bleed a lot. There are a lot of veins going to your brain, transporting a lot of blood, and even small wounds bleed a lot, although they don't necessarily hurt much. That's what happened at the playground."

"So Kate's really okay?" Alexis asked, looking from Kate to her father and back.

"I'm really okay, Lex," Kate said and the girl slumped into her chest, the tension draining out of her small body, one hand curling loosely in the fabric of Kate's sleep shirt.

Louis called for Castle's help in the kitchen and he stroked both their hair before helping him out.

"Are you okay now?"

"Yeah," Alexis sighed.

"You come talk to me when you're scared again or have a question about anything at all, okay?" Kate breathed into the girl's red hair, feeling her nod against her chest before two thin arms twined around her neck.

"I love you Kate," Alexis whispered, sniffling into her neck and Kate gathered her even closer.

"I love you too, Lex, very much."

* * *

Author's Note: This seemed like a good place to stop, Kate and Castle will have their talk in the next chapter.

Twitter: kbymyside


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Chapter 25**

"Kids are in bed, now talk," Kate demanded later that evening. They were sitting on the couch, four empty bowls of mac and cheese on the coffee table along with another empty juice box.

She was tired, but had been feeling pretty good all day given the circumstances. They'd had an early supper on the couch and watched cartoons, both children snuggled into her side, until it had been time for them to go to bed.

"There's nothing to talk about," Castle evaded, but the hand curled around her wrist, the shoulder pressed against her own and the hovering said otherwise.

"Castle."

"I- This is just-" He broke off, collecting himself. "I always knew something like this could happen, I know worse things could have happened, and I thought I was okay with that. But today, it became real and I-" He trailed off again, his lips clamped together and his eyes focused on a speck on the floor.

"You're not okay with it anymore?" she finished for him, leaning forward with her breath caught in her lungs. This was it. The point where people usually told her she was on her own. Her dad had been against the whole idea of her joining the Academy, but when she'd come by with her first black eye, he'd yelled at her in his drunken stupor, thrown her out. Carly, Maddie, her old friends from high school had declared her crazy and had stopped partying with her when she told them it couldn't be like old times anymore where they'd disappeared into the dingy bathroom of a club to make the party a little more vibrant and longer lasting.

"I- I don't like the aspect of your job where it's possible for you to get hurt, no. But I realize that your job is a part of you, that you _need_ your job, and I admire your reasoning for doing it, but the fact that you could get hurt doing it, scares me."

When he looked at her, there was a carefulness on his face she wanted gone. She would never judge him for voicing his fears.

Her hand slipped between his damp palm and the crumpled fabric of his pants that he had clutched at. Giving it a squeeze, she turned to face him more fully.

"It scares me too sometimes," she confided quietly and this time it was him that squeezed her hand. "But I wouldn't be me without this job, and if that is a problem for you-"

"No! No," he protested loudly, his eyes wide with horror and she immediately felt ashamed that that tiny little nugget of doubt that had accompanied her all day had gotten the better of her at last. She thought she'd been beyond that. "I mean, yes, it is a problem; I don't want to see you hurt, but I'll come to terms with that if you give me some time."

She could do that. He had given her time, she could do the same for him. She just needed to be sure that he eventually would come to terms with the risks of her job. She wouldn't be able to cope if she became further invested in this relationship only to have it shredded to pieces because he suddenly decided he couldn't do it. Hell, she was probably in too deep already.

His hand came out of nowhere, settling on her cheek and turning her head so she was looking at him. "Don't even think it," he said quietly, his voice strained. "I will always support you in your job, I'm too proud of you to ever stop doing that. Just be patient with me over the next couple of days."

"I will," she promised, and his thumb stroked over her eyebrow, skirting the edge of her injury and making peace with it.

"How's the pain?"

"Head throbs a little," she admitted. It'd been hours since she'd taken her last painkiller and their earnest talk had been a little much for her poor head.

"Why don't you go on to bed and I'll clean up out here and then bring you some water?"

"Don't take too long," she whispered and let her lips brush over his ever so softly.

He smiled at her as he watched her go and she heard the clatter of the dishes in the background as she half-heartedly brushed her teeth, checked the wound one last time and then crawled under the covers.

Castle wasn't far behind her and quietly moved about, the familiar sounds of his evening routine lulling her to sleep.

She briefly resurfaced from her slumber when the bed dipped and his warm body slipped in next to hers, one of his legs settling heavily over hers.

The next time she rose, it was due to fingers trailing over her skin. Soft, memorizing touches. Her eyes fluttered closed again until she noticed _where_ he was stroking. The back of her right upper arm.

"Did this one happen on the job as well?" he murmured into the dark and she flung her arm out to turn on the lamp on her nightstand.

Pulling herself into a seated position, she rolled up the sleeve of her sleep shirt and bared her arm to him.

"It happened right after I made Detective and got to finally play with the big boys. Thought I had to prove myself. I talked the suspect into surrendering and walked towards him to take his knife, but something spooked him and while I was trying to disarm him, he stabbed me in the back of the arm. It was foolish," she added after a beat of silence and Castle hummed his agreement, still focused on the scar.

When she looked at him over her shoulder, she saw him soaking it all in, and even though his face was dark and his eyes stormy, she realized he needed to hear those stories. In a swift move, she rid herself of her shirt and turned her back to him once more.

His fingers immediately found the small twin cuts on her back, right beneath where her bra clasp would be.

"Someone shot through a window and I dove for cover," she explained, one hand going to the back of her neck and threading through the thin hair above her hairline until she found the knobbly scar there. "This is where they pulled shards of glass from my skin."

Castle's hands were on her back and in her hair now, comparing. "Why are these two on your back so thin and the one on your head so bumpy? And the one on your arm is also barely noticeable; shouldn't you have gotten stitches?"

"I did. But as a child, I frequently came home with scraped knees or a bleeding palm and always itched the scabs, leaving behind terrible scars. So, one day, my mom bought this special oil and it literally made all scars disappear. I still use it and it works wonders. Also did with my stretch marks," she added, almost as an afterthought. After Louis' birth she had thought that the mention of her having a child with another man would hurt a future relationship, but Castle soaked every single detail of her life before him up, and he was always so eager for more. Stories from her high school days were his favorite.

"You had stretch marks?" Castle retorted, surprised, and she turned around with a small laugh.

"Luckily just a handful. But there is one that never completely faded."

Using two fingers, she stretched the skin above her hipbone and Castle leaned in close to inspect the thin, silvery line he found there.

He touched his fingers to it and looked at her with shamed eyes. "I never noticed that before."

"That's okay. You don't really notice it unless you know it's there. It becomes more visible when I'm tan, since it doesn't change color, but when I'm pale like this after the winter, you don't really see it."

"Is it weird that I find it beautiful? That I find all of your scars beautiful?" he asked with a sheepish smile.

Kate raised her eyebrow at him in confusion, but winced when it pulled at the butterfly stitches.

Castle let out a soft chuckle and combed her hair out of the way, allowing the wound to breathe. "They just have a unique way of telling stories, that's all," he explained and Kate's fingers found the scar on his forehead.

"What's this one's story?"

"That would be the story of a stupid, four year-old boy who thought he didn't need training wheels anymore," he grinned, looking much more at ease now, compared to thirty minutes earlier, as he rearranged the covers around him.

"Will you be able to sleep now?" he asked with a cheeky twinkle in his eyes.

"Will I be able to- Castle, I was asleep before you woke me! You're the insomniac here," she muttered and Castle chuckled into his pillow, grunting, when she slapped his chest with her shirt.

She slipped it on and curled up under the covers, one of Castle's legs between hers, his arm sneaking around her waist.

She would allow it for the night. She still wasn't much of a snuggler and Castle was naturally warm, easily turning the bed into a sweatbath, but she'd promised to endure his need to be close for a few days.

And to be truthful, tonight it just felt right; his strong arm around her, pulling her into the safety of his broad body.

XXX

He woke to his phone ringing in his office. Turning to the clock on his nightstand bleary-eyed, he flopped back down with a groan.

The first number on the digital clock was a seven. That's all it took for him to decide it was way too early to get up. On a Saturday no less.

But the caller was insistent and he rolled out of bed at last. He had a sense of foreboding it was Paula. She was the only one he knew who had the nerve to call him on a Saturday morning.

He sank down in his office chair with his eyes closed, listening to Paula's nasal voice over the phone. "Listen closely now, Ricky, this is about your international book tour."

With a red pen in hand, he flipped through his desk calendar, circling the dates Paula rattled off.

He must have dozed off a little because he jerked awake when Kate stumbled through his office, heading for the kitchen. Paula was still talking about his schedule and he held the phone away from his ear, covering the speaker. She'd e-mail him the program anyway.

"What are you doing up?" he asked when Kate came back, cup of coffee in hand.

"I have to go to work, Castle."

"Work?" He'd thought she would stay home one more day with the head injury and all.

"Yeah, work," she replied. "The case isn't closed yet."

He wanted to protest, tell her to stay home, rest some more, but she was already pulling out fresh underwear from the "Beckett drawer" as he'd dubbed it.

Over the weeks, he'd found more and more of their clothing mixed in with his. Kate's underwear and a few blouses for work, Louis' sweatpants that he'd gotten yogurt on and Castle had washed, along with a few more comfortable t-shirts he could change into after school, just to name a few.

"But I'll be back for lunch," Kate promised. "Just need to wrap up a few lose ends. Why are you up?"

He was suddenly reminded of Paula still talking on the phone and quickly held it to his ear again, but she was already saying her goodbyes, reminding him to pack some "accentuating clothing that would gain the ladies' attention."

"That was Paula, giving me the dates for my international book tour."

Kate shrugged into a blouse and came to stand behind him, buttoning it up while watching him write 'Norway' across the third week of June in his calendar.

"You're flying to Norway?" she asked and he turned in his chair with a grin.

"Oslo to be exact."

"Oh, wow," she replied, her eyebrows knitting together, forgetting about her forehead for a second. She groaned and slammed her eyes closed. "That's pretty far away," she offered when the pain lessened.

"It is," he confirmed and flipped back to the beginning of May. "But we're only gone a week."

"I saw some more red in there, where else are you going?" she demanded to know and snatched the calendar out of his hands before he could react.

She started flipping through the weeks, her face devoid of emotion, and he got out of his chair to look at her wound just so he had something to occupy himself with.

"How's it feel?" he questioned and refrained from poking and prodding the angry looking gash.

"The day after it happened is always the worst," Kate murmured, still flipping through his calendar, and it was starting to make him nervous. He didn't even know why. Maybe because he'd made plans before consulting her first? It's not like he hadn't thought of her while making them, but there was the traditional Hamptons-visit, the international and national book tour, and Alexis needed to see her mom.

"You're gone a lot," Kate observed, her voice even, unreadable.

"I am," he replied; careful. "Is that a problem?"

"I don't know, is it?" she tossed back and threw the calendar on his desk, turning on her heel to find some pants.

Okay, being gone, or rather busy, for six and a half weeks out of eleven was kind of a lot. And he didn't even know if she had plans for the summer and whether they coincided with his or not.

He pushed himself out of his chair to find her in the bathroom, combing her hair and then applying a layer of mascara.

"We'll find some time to ourselves, I promise," he started cautiously, sitting on the rim of his bathtub to observe her.

"Oh, really? When? In-between you visiting your ex-wife and flying across the Atlantic Ocean?"

"Is this about Meredith?" he questioned, completely thrown off. She had never made a secret out of disliking Meredith, but surely she realized that Alexis needed to see her mom?

"No!" she replied, forceful and irritated, knotting her eyebrows together before remembering the wound.

She hissed in pain and annoyance, threw her mascara onto the vanity and stormed out of the bathroom, leaving a confused Castle behind. He knew he should have stayed in bed this morning.

"Are we going to talk about this?" he called, a little angry and annoyed himself now when he heard her zip up her boots, and she paused in the door of the bedroom from where she could see him still standing in the bathroom.

Her shoulders slumped forward and even over the distance he saw regret flare brightly in her eyes.

"I'll be back for lunch, okay? And Castle, don't do anything behind my back," she warned before slipping out the door.

Yeah, like he would dare to fly them to Norway with him after the speech he'd gotten the day he'd bought that espresso machine for the Precinct. She hated when things were done behind her back, even if it was to surprise her. He'd learned that the hard way.

XXX

"And the shark was _so_ big!" Louis exclaimed, his arms stretched wide, tipping the ice cream cone in his hand dangerously.

"Really?" Alexis replied, eyes wide, while Castle tried to fumble the key into the lock. "Can we go to the Aquarium some time, daddy? We've never been."

"Sure, Pumpkin, sure."

"You have to! The stingrays there are awesome. You can even pet smaller ones!"

Castle finally managed to get the door open and stumbled through with the children behind him.

To his surprise, he found Kate in the kitchen, preparing what looked like a salad. His super must have let her in again. They both knew she wasn't ready for her own key yet and he didn't dare hide one under the doormat.

"Hey," she greeted them, and much him like, she didn't seem to be her usual self. Their little squabble this morning must have been just as had on her.

"Hey mom, what's for lunch?"

"Ice cream, so it would seem," she replied tersely, fixing Castle with a pointed look, but he only shrugged his shoulders. He knew what she thought of giving the children sweets before lunch or dinner, but he'd needed some cheering up and the children had been bored stuck inside.

"And _salad_," Louis drawled, his nose wrinkled in disgust as he peeked into the bowl filled with the offending green leaves.

Kate dropped the knife she'd been using to cut the cucumber and shot him a look that made him shrink visibly.

Castle took the boy by the shoulders and turned him towards the living room. "Come on you two, finish your ice creams and then go play till lunch is ready. No TV," he added, trying to earn some points with Kate. But she was back to chopping the cucumber.

"You gonna tell me what's wrong?"

His question was met with silence and he sighed. Fine then.

He found some bacon in the fridge and started frying it. Just salad really was a meager lunch for two hungry children. Kate was usually a great cook and prepared large meals with several side dishes when she had the time, but when she was in a bad mood, salad or toast was the best they'd get.

"We don't have any plans this summer," Kate admitted quietly after a few minutes and Castle immediately abandoned his bacon to stand beside her at the kitchen island.

"So?"

"It just reminded me of the different lives we live and it made me think."

"Not good thoughts, I presume."

"Nope," she replied and looked at him with sad shimmer to her eyes.

"You do know that money doesn't matter to me, right? Neither mine nor yours."

"I know."

He helped her dump the cucumber cubes in the salad bowl and then slid the chopping board out of her reach so that she was forced to focus solely on him.

"Does it matter to you?"

"No, it doesn't. But today it was just a reminder."

"I understand," he said quietly, reaching out to take one of her hands between his, toying with her fingers absentmindedly. "I'm sorry if my money or my status make you uncomfortable, but it's not something I can change. I'm not vain of it and it really doesn't matter to me. I'm just Rick."

"Yeah, I know," she replied, a weak smile flirting with her lips. "It's just a little sobering sometimes when you realize that you have all the money - and the time - to travel the world with your kid. Norway is one of the most expensive countries in the world and I heard it's spectacular."

"You know, Kate-" he started softly, but she must have seen it in his eyes, because she shook her head and pulled her hand from his grasp, her eyes fiery.

"Don't even say it, Castle."

The silence in the kitchen was strained, the tension almost palpable, but he refused to give up. He wanted Kate and Louis to join him on this trip, he wanted to see the world with them, create those new memories with them. If only Kate weren't so stubborn. She would never accept his money.

"But what if-" he started again, only to be cut off once more by Kate's steely voice.

"Just drop it Castle!"

Only when her voice cracked on the last syllable of his name and she angled her body away from him to heave in a deep breath he noticed _how_ much she was bothered by this.

He wasn't allowed to touch her now, he knew that. She'd only shrug him off and then run. So he gave her the space she needed, even though every fiber of his being screamed for him to hold her and soothe the pain with the gentle stroke of his fingers at her back.

Her eyes were suspiciously bright when she turned back around and he took a small step closer, his voice calm.

"Would you listen for a second? What if you were able to contribute to the trip?"

Her mouth was still set in a grim line when she looked up at him, but whatever she saw in his face slightly softened her features.

"W-What do you mean?"

"Alexis is always terribly bored on those trips. My schedules are pretty tight and there are only a few hours each day where we get to explore the new city. She'd love if someone came along and took her shopping or showed her all the sights. And it would be so much easier if I didn't always have to worry about her and wonder if she's fine in a book store that only sells books in a foreign language. And the suite with the two bedrooms is already booked anyway."

"You're not just saying that to talk me into going with you?"

Her eyes were a wary brown and he held his hands up in defense.

"No, I'm not. You can ask Alexis yourself, she really is bored and I know she would miss you terribly over the summer. I would too," he admitted, his heart constricting at the thought. He really _would_ miss her.

"Just promise me not to buy me stuff and to let me pay for things myself, Castle. And I mean in general. I can pay for tickets and cab fares and ice cream."

He wanted to argue, tell her she didn't have to because he had all this money lying around without designated use, but decided not to push his luck. He'd achieved far more just now than he'd hoped.

And as he nodded his agreement, Kate's demeanor softened and her lips curved into a soft smile that made his heart flutter.

A warm hand settled on his chest and when he looked down to find Kate's eyes sparkling with joy, he simply had to slant his lips over hers and draw her closer with an arm around her waist.

"Under that condition we'll come to Norway with you, Castle."

They were flying to Norway in less than five weeks. All four of them.

* * *

Author's Note: So sorry for the long wait, had a crazy long weekend.

Twitter: kbymyside


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

Finding a parking spot on the last day of school was crazy and it took Kate ten minutes to find a spot wide enough for her Crown Vic. She wished she'd taken the subway but time had been sparse after she'd run into Karpowski in the locker room where she'd changed from her work clothes into a dark blue summer dress. She had the rest of the day off and wanted to do something fun with Louis.

When she finally arrived at the school, it was even crazier than usual. Parents had formed little groups on the sidewalk, bragging about their children's grades, children were running around with wide smiles, playing tag and weaving around people, and everywhere there were people hugging and saying goodbye for the summer. Some even with tears in their eyes.

She was a little late and all the kids had been released from class already. Louis was for sure looking for her in the large crowd. She hoped he wasn't alone or had already found Castle.

Her gaze swept over the mass of people and fell on a small group of parents that immediately caught her eye due to the ruggedly-handsome novelist amidst them.

Castle was talking to a couple, both dressed in elegant business suits and another mother, also dressed very tastefully.

Next to him was Alexis - and Louis, together with his new best friend, Adam. Louis and Adam were currently showing Alexis how to make shadow puppets and the redhead mimicked Louis crossing his spread hands at the wrist and aligning the thumbs.

"This will look like an eagle," she heard him say in passing and then she was already at Castle's side.

"Hey babe," he greeted and took a small step back to allow her into their little circle. He introduced her to the other parents, whose children were in Alexis' class, and completely missed the glare she sent his way. Babe?

The four parents ranted over a teacher Kate didn't know and she excused herself quickly to greet her son.

He was still wearing his backpack, so she came up behind him and reached for the handle, pulling it slowly from his shoulders.

"Oh, hey mom." Louis barely had the time to glance at her before Adam showed him something new and they stuck their heads together again, leaving Kate with the heavy backpack in her hand.

Just half a year ago, when she'd picked him up for Christmas break, it had been the total opposite. He'd knocked into her and hugged her tight and had been so eager to get home. He was growing up and needed his mother less every day. And that hurt. Even though it was the way things went, it hurt.

At least Alexis was a scrap of comfort. Ever since that afternoon they'd spent on the floor three weeks ago, the girl had been downright affectionate and loved the hugs Kate had to offer.

Speaking of Alexis, the redhead just came back from a little stroll to greet a friend's parents, having been bored with the boys, and her face split into a beautiful smile when she spotted Kate.

"Kate!"

"Hey Lex. Glad school's finally out?"

"Yes!" she cheered. "Ten weeks of doing nothing. Well, except traveling and seeing my mom."

They'd be leaving for Norway in two and a half weeks, but before that they had to survive Meredith's week-long visit to New York. She was scheduled to arriver later that day.

It was Kate's first time meeting her and while Castle had been trying to prepare her for the worst, Alexis hadn't stopped telling her how great her mom was. Naturally, Kate had no idea what to expect. And how Meredith would react to the news that she was Castle's new girlfriend. Unless Alexis had let it slip while on the phone with her, Meredith didn't know yet. Castle didn't have a lot of contact with his ex-wife, and when they did talk, it was usually about Alexis' grades, trips or birthday presents for the girl.

Kate was approached by Adam's mom, a woman who was only a little older than her, and they talked for a few minutes until both boys started to get impatient and Adam's mom gave her her number so the boys could meet up in the summer.

"Can we go get ice cream now, mom?" Louis asked, his eyebrows already drawn together in that plaintive way Kate hated.

"I just waited fifteen minutes for you to stop chit-chatting with your friend, now it's your turn to wait five minutes until Castle's finished talking to his friends," she admonished him and Louis let out a heavy sigh and leaned against the iron fence of the school with his arms crossed in front of him.

"Finished," Castle breathed hotly into her ear from behind and she shivered when his day-old stubble scraped against her neck.

It'd been a week since they'd seen each other last and the roughness of his stubble against her skin always left her aching for more.

She quickly put some distance between them but didn't miss his smug grin. He was doing this on purpose, the bastard.

"Hey, do you guys have time for some celebratory ice cream before Meredith arrives?" Kate asked and efficiently diverted her own attention before she gave in to her desire and got back at him with the hot press of her mouth.

Castle gulped heavily and sullenly stared at something in the distance. "Don't think so."

Kate turned, followed his line of sight and her gaze fell upon a tall woman who was currently greeting another parent. Kate knew without a doubt who she was. Fiery red hair, swept elegantly over one shoulder, light green eyes that sparkled in the sun, and delicately chiseled features. Wearing an olive-green pantsuit that let her appear even taller than she already was, Meredith let out a cutesy laugh and flicked one of her thin wrists, the jingle of her bracelets shrill.

Alexis saw her too and let out a squeal before sprinting towards her. "Mommy!"

Meredith held out her hands, and Alexis crashed into her, hugging her tightly and crumpling the pantsuit in her little fists.

"Oh Sweetie, I missed you so much," Kate heard Meredith say and it sounded so artificial that she had to fight the urge to roll her eyes. It's not that Kate doesn't believe Meredith doesn't miss her child, it's just that she expresses it very poorly.

Castle came up behind her and when she turned her head to look at him, he looked defeated. "I'm sorry Kate, I told her we'd meet her at the loft. You shouldn't have to meet her under such circumstances."

"It's fine," she replied and squeezed his elbow in comfort. It really was fine. Didn't matter where and under what circumstances they met, she was going to be nice to Meredith. For Alexis' sake.

Just then, the woman in question hustled Kate aside and brushed Castle's cheek with her lips. "Good to see you, Richard."

"Been a while," Castle agreed and took a step back and Alexis re-claimed her mother's hand. "Mommy, this is Kate and this is Louis," Alexis introduced them to her, grinning up at Meredith with so much admiration in her eyes.

Meredith looked at Louis like one would look at an adorable kitten that just took its first, wobbly steps. "Is he your boyfriend?" she asked her daughter with a barely suppressed squeal, her free hand pressed to her lips in gleeful anticipation.

"What?" Alexis looked at her mother in shock and then turned helpless eyes towards Kate and her father. "Eww, no mommy, he's my friend."

"Things can always change," Meredith said light-heartedly and flicked her wrist again, obviously smitten with the idea of her little girl and doe-eyed Louis shyly holding hands in the school yard.

Since Meredith had yet to acknowledge her, Kate took the first step and held out her hand. "I'm Kate, Louis' mom." She didn't want to withhold the fact that she was also Castle's girlfriend, but telling Meredith so in front of their respective children's school didn't seem like the right place for that.

Meredith looked Kate over. "Kate," she said, cogitating with her head tilted, and Kate could see the wheels turning in her head.

Then she seemed to remember where she'd heard that name before, because Meredith's head suddenly snapped back into place and the smile she gave Kate was anything but warm. When she finally shook her hand, the first thing Kate thought of was a baby bird. An ugly, bald baby bird with thin bones and gnarly joints and papery skin. That's what Meredith's wrist looked and felt like in her own hand. Cool, slim fingers, fragile skin stretching taut over bone and no strength in her grip.

And now that Kate took a closer look, she saw nothing of the redheaded eyecatcher she had admired from the distance. Meredith was twiggy, her face mouse-like with a sharply angled chin and a tiny, pointed nose and her pale green eyes seemed hollow, without any depth to them.

"Well, it was nice meeting you," Meredith said in that sweet, high-pitched voice of hers. "But we should really get going, Alexis and I have a long day of shopping ahead of us."

Kate managed a small smile. "Don't let us keep you. Have fun."

Alexis hugged Kate one last time, something that didn't go unnoticed by Meredith . "See you soon, Kate."

"See you soon, Lex," Kate waved and nudged Louis' shoulder in warning. The grimace on his face disappeared immediately and he offered a half-hearted wave of his hand.

"I'm sorry about that," Castle repeated and she could tell he really was. "Are we still on for dinner tomorrow?" he asked cautiously, as if expecting her to be mad at him because his ex-wife had picked up her daughter from school and it was his fault she had been forced to make that unwanted encounter. But she'd promised him he could seek refuge in her apartment while Meredith was in New York.

"We are," Kate nodded with a sympathetic smile just as Meredith's voice rung out with a slightly annoyed undertone to it, "Richard! We don't have all day!"

Castle huffed in annoyance. "I just hope I'll make it through the next couple of days. Be cautious who you marry, buddy," he told Louis before hurrying after his ex-wife and daughter with a last wave in Kate's direction.

"I'm really glad that _you_ are my mom," Louis said all of a sudden, his wide eyes trained on her and Kate choked out a surprised laugh.

"And I'm really glad I have the honor of being your mom," Kate replied, leaning to press a kiss to his hair, but Louis twisted out of her reach quickly. Right.

"Do you still want to get some celebratory ice cream?"

"We have to get some! My grades are that good," Louis boasted with a proud grin, puffing his chest out a little.

She ruffled his hair. "And I'm so proud of you."

They went over Louis' grades together while they had ice cream. Marlowe Prep was a demanding school and in the beginning of the year she'd worried whether she'd made the right choice by sending Louis there. Without doubt, Marlowe Prep was one of the most prestigious schools in New York City and while she wanted the best possible education for her son, being a scholarship recipient also meant a lot of pressure. His grades weren't allowed to slip and any misbehavior would get him kicked out of school. Not that she had to worry about that, Louis didn't even ask to go to the restroom during class, but he was a little lazy when it came to classes he didn't like. And he was shy, which meant his oral participation in class was barely existent. Which in turn meant, no matter how long he worked on his English homework and how few spelling mistakes he made, without oral participation he would never get an A in that class.

Primary school was supposed to be fun, children were supposed to make friends, play tag during recess and learn the fundamentals of English, math, history and science. She hadn't wanted to force Louis to raise his hand during class when he wasn't comfortable doing that, or be strict with him when he'd made a botched job of his math homework, that would come later, so she was very pleased with how good his grades were.

His fortes were definitely science and math, but surprisingly he also excelled in history. He definitely didn't get that from her.

There was a time where she'd almost regretted sending him to private school, he'd had huge trouble finding himself in-between all those children whose parents were top notch lawyers or managers or even actors, and she'd wondered if she'd made the right choice when Louis still hadn't made any friends after the first few weeks, but now, eight months later, he didn't only have Alexis, who was the only girl he'd hang out with, he'd also made other friends and actually loved going to school.

She'd love paying for the smaller fees the scholarship didn't cover if it meant Louis continued to do this well in a school he felt comfortable in.

She figured that was partially Castle's and Alexis' doing. They were both so good at bringing him out of his shell and all the time he'd spent with the outgoing redhead had paid off.

They had done so much for her and just when she was trying to think of something she could do for them, an idea sprung to mind.

After they had had ice cream, Louis got to choose a new DVD at the store as a reward for his good grades, and while he watched it later that evening, Kate dialed Castle.

"Castle," he answered, sounding a little stressed.

"Hey Castle, it's me," she replied. "Is this a bad time?"

"No, no, it's fine. Just discussing movie choices. What's up?"

"I was just thinking about dinner tomorrow, and I had an idea. I thought maybe we could, uh, all have dinner together?" she asked, biting her lip. Spoken out loud, the idea didn't sound as good anymore. She didn't want anyone to think she was trying to intrude on Alexis' and Meredith's precious one-on-one time.

"All? Who's all?" Castle asked, clearly confused and she heard the voices in the background fade and a door close.

"You, Meredith, Alexis, Louis and I? I don't want to interfere or anything and it's not like I'm Alexis' stepmother, but I am someone who loves her and she can confide in and I thought maybe it would be good for her to see Meredith and I getting along?"

There was a long pause before Castle spoke up again and she tortured her bottom lip with her teeth, wondering if she had overstepped.

"You would do that?" Castle asked, his voice rough. "Spend time with her mother even though you know she's a witch? To make sure Alexis doesn't need to worry?"

"Well yeah, I love Alexis," she explained, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. It probably was. Alexis was easy to love.

"God I love you," Castle croaked over the phone, sounding like he was getting a little emotional.

Her breath hitched at those words. An effect she hoped would never fade. She quickly brought them to a safer topic before they made each other cry over the phone. "So, what do you think? Dinner tomorrow?"

"Let me check with Meredith, she might have plans." In the background, she heard a door open before the muffled, tinny voices of a TV reached her ear. She waited patiently while Castle talked to Meredith, their conversation muted by Castle's hand covering the receiver.

"Meredith said she just learned how to make a curry soup in a cooking class she'd been taking and she would just _love_ to make it for us," came his sarcastic voice over the phone and Kate had to stifle a chuckle. He really didn't think much of his ex-wife. "And while Meredith works on her soup, we could whip something up? Make some Thai chicken and rice that goes along with the soup? She'll prepare the soup in the morning because she's out all afternoon with Alexis and friends, so we should have the kitchen to ourselves."

"Yeah, sounds great."

"Okay, I'll see you at half past five, Detective?"

"I'll be there. Night, Castle."

"Night Kate."

XXX

Kate had brought the chicken while Castle had bought the other ingredients they needed for their chicken.

"What kind of chicken are we making?" Kate asked as she got the chicken breasts out of the package.

"I was thinking a lime stir-fried chicken. Does that sound good, Louis?" Castle asked the boy who was perched on a barstool, observing the scene in the spacious kitchen with great interest.

The boy wriggled his head from side to side, indecisive. He was not the adventurous kind when it came to food.

"There's always rice and sauce if you don't like the chicken," Kate told him, grabbing the herbs Castle handed her for the sauce and began chopping them. Her eyebrows were knit in concentration and her lips slightly puckered while she tried to avoid her fingers with the sharp knife.

When she finished and reached for the onions, she found Castle staring at her, his mouth curved into a sweet smile.

"What?"

"You're adorable," he said simply and shrugged, his eyes still trained on her.

"And you're a goofball," Kate retorted, a small smile tugging on her own lips.

"But you love me."

"That I do," she replied and leaned in to press a kiss to his lips just as Louis chimed in from his place on the barstool.

"Can I help?"

Kate jerked away from Castle, having all but forgotten about her son.

He wasn't a huge fan of all the PDA, especially when they were in public, and Kate gave his earlobe a tug when he wasn't quick enough to hide his impish smile.

"You can be in charge of the food processor," Castle told him and Louis got off his barstool, only to be lifted up on the counter by Castle.

Every time either Kate or Castle finished chopping vegetables or herbs, Louis put them into the mixer and hit the button, chaffing the ingredients into a thick sauce. Castle added some lime juice and got a spoon out of a drawer, offering both Kate and Louis a taste of it, before swiping his own finger along the rim of the food processor, taste-testing the sweet-sour balance.

Louis crinkled his nose a little and Castle added a small pinch of sugar. It took a few tries until Louis finally nodded his approval and Castle dipped his finger into the sauce again, agreeing with Louis, who burst into giggles when he looked at Castle's face again.

"What?" he asked and turned to Kate for help while Louis kept giggling.

Kate's face split into a large grin; Castle didn't only behave like a nine-year-old from time to time, he also ate like one. Kate motioned to the left corner of her mouth. "You have a little-" she started to explain but when Castle touched his own finger to his right mouth corner, she stopped talking and reached out instead. With a sure stroke of her thumb, she swiped the dark green sauce off his face and held his gaze while sucking it off her skin. Castle's eyes darkened immediately and he reached to tug her thumb free and have a taste of his own, but Kate spun out of his reach, facing the kitchen island and forcing him to come up behind her.

His hands were heavy on her waist and he pressed closer when she let go of her thumb with an obscene pop.

They were so caught up in their little moment, that neither of them heard the front door open, and only froze when Meredith's voice reached them.

"This clears my question of who, or rather _what_ exactly, you are," she glowered at Kate, her pale green eyes sparkling with something akin to jealousy and utter dislike. She leaned against the fridge in what she hoped looked casual while staring the Detective down.

"Meredith!" Castle admonished, but Kate quickly stepped away from him and forward, positioning herself between them. She was here to get along with Alexis' mother and even though Meredith had been nothing but rude to her so far, she put on a smile and tried to calm things down a little. This could not turn into a fight. After all, Louis was still sitting next to the food processor and Alexis too, was flitting around somewhere in the loft.

"I'm sure Rick and Alexis simply failed to mention it," she said with a casual shrug. "It's fairly new." Saying those words stung, but she ignored the unpleasant stuttering of her heart. She was doing this for Alexis.

"Alexis certainly didn't fail to mention you," Meredith countered snappily, her sharp chin raised high. "In fact, you were all she would talk about. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to heat my curry soup, I'm starving." With that, she pulled the fridge door open with a little too much force, making the juice and wine bottles in the door clatter.

While Meredith was shoving ingredients around and reached for her pot of soup in the far back, Alexis came running into the kitchen, hugging first her dad and then Kate, who quickly refrained from hugging the girl back when she noticed Meredith's gaze on them. She didn't want to make things worse, Meredith was obviously already unhappy with the situation. In fact, seeing her own daughter hug a woman she didn't know and approve of, made her slam the pot onto the counter with a loud bang and the light green soup swish around noisily.

"Is something wrong?" Alexis asked, immediately picking up on the tension. She looked from Kate to her mother and then to her father who gave her a tight smile and a pat on the back. "Everything's fine, Pumpkin. Why don't you and Louis set the table? Dinner should be ready any minute."

Meredith put her pot on the stove to reheat it and Castle stood next to her, stir-frying the chicken. Meredith shot him a deadly look, but Castle only regarded her coolly. This was his house, his life - which she both chose to leave - and she was not in the position to be rude.

Kate got some juice and water out of fridge and occupied herself with pouring two glasses of apple spritzer for the children.

When Meredith finally served her curry soup, everyone was tense. Even the children had picked up on it and sat obediently in their chairs, backs straight and elbows off the table. Castle sat at the head of the table with Alexis to one side and Kate to the other. Meredith had chosen the seat next to Alexis from where she pretended Kate was nothing but thin air. Kate shrugged and was the last of them to pick up her spoon and try the soup. But just as she led the spoon to her lips, Castle shot out of his chair and reached across the table to where Louis sat and slapped his spoon out of his hand with a shout of "No, don't!"

Louis' spoon clattered to the table, the curry soup splattering in all directions, mixing with the apple juice on the table from a glass Castle had knocked over.

"Richard! What the hell-?" came Meredith's high-pitched angry voice, her cheeks painted a dark red, but she was interrupted by a loud wail.

Alexis had clamped both of her hands over her mouth and tears were leaking out of her eyes and running down her pink cheeks.

"Don't breathe through your mouth!" Castle instructed while jabbing an angry finger in Meredith's direction. "How can you serve children something his hot?!"

"It's a green curry soup, it's supposed to be hot!" Meredith defended herself and also got out of her chair to be at face level with Castle.

Kate, who hadn't yet had a try of the soup, only slowly began to understand. She took a tiny taste of the soup and immediately had to suppress a cough, the soup really was hot, even more so for a child. After checking that Louis was okay, she sprinted into the kitchen, got a glass out of a cupboard and retrieved the milk from the fridge, pouring Alexis a glass.

"Drink this, it'll help," she told the poor girl who was still crying while her parents shouted at each other.

Alexis shook her head and squeezed her eyes closed, which caused another onrush of tears.

Suddenly, Castle turned away from Meredith and took a sip of the milk before pushing the glass into Alexis' direction. "I had some of the soup and I feel better now," he told her with a tight smile and the little redhead finally reached out and downed the glass hastily, her face still red.

"Better?" he asked her when she finished and Alexis nodded, turning to her father and burying her face in his stomach.

While Meredith stood around helplessly, Kate got some paper towels and a sponge and started cleaning up the mess on the dining table. Louis pushed his bowl of soup away from him and poured Alexis another glass of milk, handing it to her with a shy smile.

Alexis thanked him and took it before placing the empty glass on the table and wiping her face with her hands.

Finally, Meredith moved. "Sweetie, I'm so sorry," she said, for once sounding like she meant it, crouching and hugging Alexis. Her long fingers hovered over Alexis' back, unsure of where to touch and it was like a punch to the gut to see a mother so estranged from her daughter that she didn't even know how to offer her comfort.

"It's okay," Alexis replied bravely and swallowed. "Just stings a little bit."

"Maybe it'll go away if you eat something more," Castle suggested and Alexis nodded.

"But I don't want the Thai chicken. No Thai food."

Instead of arguing and telling her that the chicken he and Kate had made wasn't hot, Castle told her he'd fry her a few eggs with leftover potatoes from the day before.

"Do you want some too, Louis? Or do you want chicken?"

"Eggs," Louis nodded, not a fan of Thai food anymore all of the sudden.

"I'll take care of the chicken," Kate declared and got the dish out of the oven where Castle had put it to keep it warm.

Castle shot Meredith a questioning glance, but she only got her purse. "I think I better leave."

"No mommy!" Alexis protested and ran after after her mother.

Castle stood at the sink with his head bowed and his eyes closed, while Alexis' frantic shouts of "No, mommy, don't leave" and "Please, mommy," rang through the loft.

Kate placed the chicken on the counter to let it cool so they could put it in the fridge later on. But she had a feeling that neither of them would be in the mood for Thai food any time soon. Alexis was still crying in the living room and when Kate peeked around the corner, she saw Meredith physically prying the girl's arms and legs loose from where they were coiled around her own legs.

She succeeded at last and slipped through the front door, leaving a devastated Alexis sitting on the floor, sobbing.

This was the first time Kate saw what running away from a problem did to another person and she promised herself to never run from anything again. She never wanted to be the cause of such hurt.

Castle had seen the scene as well and rushed to Alexis, scooping her up with his strong arms and whispering to her.

Kate grabbed Louis and pulled him into the kitchen to prepare the eggs and to give father and daughter a moment to themselves.

XXX

Later that evening, Kate found Castle in his office, staring out the window. Alexis was in bed already and Louis had passed out on the couch, exhausted from trying to cheer up Alexis.

"This was by far the worst dinner I've ever head. Even trumps the one where mother introduced me to my third step-father."

"I'm sorry," she offered as she leaned into Castle's side, dropping her temple to his shoulder.

Castle pressed a kiss into her hair and took a minute to inhale the smell of her cherry shampoo. "Not your fault."

"And it's not yours, either," she told him and lifted her head off his shoulders when he didn't reply but simply continued staring out at the city lights. "It's not your fault, Rick," she repeated with more strength to her words.

"Probably not," he sighed. "But I shouldn't have assumed that Meredith knew not to give something too hot or too spicy to children, I should have double checked."

"Castle, you can't double check everything Meredith does and take responsibility for her mistakes."

"But I have been double checking everything she does for the past six years," he retorted indignantly, his eyes flashing. "You can't trust her with anything. When Alexis was four, she wanted to take her to see an exhibition in the art museum. Only when I found a flyer in the mail about the exhibition, I learned that it was about death and darkness. Who takes a four-year-old to see dark, gruesome pieces of art? She just doesn't _think_. She may have given birth, but she's not a mother."

Kate stared at Castle in shock. She had never seen him so riled up and she had never heard him talk badly about anyone. But he was very protective of his little girl and Kate could see how this evening had hurt him and Meredith's negligence had once again been proven by her wrongheaded actions.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, defeat and exhaustion stark in his voice.

She reached out to stroke his arm in an attempt to calm him down. "But Alexis has you, Castle. You are the best father a child could wish for."

Castle's eyes were bitter when they found hers. "Then why does it feel like I'm failing her?"

There was a silence so heavy she was afraid her knees were going to buckle beneath the weight of it, but then Castle ran a hand over his face, his eyes glistening suspiciously, and Kate stepped in front of him, her grip on his biceps strong.

"This is just what parenthood feels like sometimes. You will always wonder if you're enough for your child." She closed her eyes against the onslaught of emotion. These were her deepest fears but while she didn't tell him that, she was afraid he could read it written all over her face. "But I'm telling you Castle - Rick, you're doing the exact opposite of failing her. You are raising a wonderfully independent, strong girl and Alexis is _happy_. She is," she insisted when he didn't seem to believe her and her hands flew to frame his face, forcing him to look at her. "She is," she repeated again and after a long moment Castle succumbed to the honesty of her words and pressed his forehead against her's, breathing deeply.

"You're the best father she could wish for," Kate murmured and stroked her hands over his ribs and back until he believed her.

* * *

Author's Note: I truly appreciate all feedback. Thank you all for telling me what you think.

Twitter: kbymyside

And now we're finally off to Norway ...


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

He woke her gently by pressing tiny kisses to the visible parts of her neck, his hand caressing her shoulder and running over the length of her arm.

"Not again, Castle," she groaned and pulled her shoulders up, denying him access to her neck. "Lemme sleep. 'M tired."

He pressed his mouth to her hair to smother his laugh. "The driver will be here in thirty minutes to take us to the airport. And I'm glad you're admitting I wore you out last night."

"Thirty minutes?" Kate exclaimed and shot into a sitting position, nearly head-butting Castle in the chin.

"Relax, that's more than enough time. All we have to do is wake the kids, get dressed and carry our luggage downstairs."

But Kate was already out of the bed, hustling towards the bathroom and releasing the messy braid she'd slept in.

With a lazy grin on his face, he trailed into the bathroom after her and turned on the shower, but Kate shoved her hands hard against his chest, shooed him out again. Apparently they didn't even have time to fool around in the shower.

"Oh, and Castle? You did _not_ wear me out last night." With that, she shut the door in his face.

He so did.

In the kitchen, he poured two glasses of orange juice and carried them upstairs where the children slept.

They were adorably confused when he softly shook their shoulders. It was the middle of the night and their plane left at 7 A.M., making them arrive in Oslo at 9 P.M. local time. With a flight this early, they'd have huge trouble adjusting their sleeping pattern, considering it was only afternoon in New York when it was night in Oslo, but it had been the only flight available that didn't have a layover. Even though a flight with layover was a lot cheaper, it also tended to make the total travel time much longer, something he tried to avoid when flying with children.

"Hey you two, you need to stay awake for a while," he told them, when Alexis' eyes slipped closed again.

Louis sat up in bed and Castle handed him one of the orange juices. He shook Alexis' shoulder once more but she didn't bother opening her eyes again, so he slipped his hands beneath her shoulder blades and lifted her into a sitting position.

"You can sleep all you want on the car ride to the airport but now I need you to get dressed and brush your teeth, so we can leave, okay?"

Louis nodded and already got out of bed, always doing what was asked of him to the best of his ability. Alexis was still a little slow.

"Do you remember what we picked out for you to wear?" he asked her. "You were really excited about it because it's-"

"It's the dress mom bought me," Alexis interrupted, her eyes open now and focused. "The grey dress with the pretty lace sleeves, for which I have a matching hair bow." Ah, fashion. Always did the trick.

"Exactly. Now drink your juice, brush your teeth, get dressed and then come find me, and we'll put your toothbrush in your suitcase."

Alexis was eager to get out of bed now, her new dress already laid out in her desk chair and waiting for her.

"You might want to wear some leggings underneath it," Castle advised, handing her the juice. "It'll be late evening when we arrive in Oslo."

"Okay, daddy," Alexis nodded, handed him the empty glass and began to search for a pair of leggings that fit the dress. Might take a while. Her mom had started to teach her about fashion and about which colors to combine and which better not, and Alexis took it very seriously.

He grabbed Louis' empty glass and went downstairs, where he found a very flustered Kate with wet hair that left dark spots on her grey t-shirt, grabbing a knife and the butter from the fridge. Not wearing any pants.

"What are you doing?" he asked, his voice rich with amusement.

Kate leveled him with her 'isn't it obvious?' look. "Breakfast. For the kids."

"Kate," he laughed. "It's four A.M., I doubt they want breakfast. We'll be having some on the plane anyway."

With a frustrated growl, Kate shoved the butter back in the fridge and dropped the unused knife in the sink.

"Where did the cool-headed Detective go I fell in love with?" Castle mused, having all the time in the world while sitting at the counter.

"Ran away screaming around the same time you and your crazy ideas appeared. Who books a flight this early in the morning anyway?" she glowered and placed a hand on her hip.

Despite the fact that her legs were gloriously bare and her hair dripping wet, she looked intimidating and he didn't dare let his gaze travel the length of her body once more.

While she was nervously excited, he tried to be the antipole. Calm. Relaxed. It's how they worked best. Where she was strong, he was weak. Where she was serious, he was lax. "We have all the time in the world, Kate. Come on let put some pants on."

He caught her arm and guided her like one might an elderly, disorganized lady at the nursing home, and when she saw the mischievous twinkle in his eyes, she slapped his shoulder and stomped into the bedroom, a breathy curse of "asshole," lingering in the air.

Oh he loved getting her all riled up, especially in the bedroom. That's where they were different too. He was a tease while she was a seductress. And a tease.

He made himself a coffee, knowing he'd not be able to sleep any time soon and carried it into the bedroom where he changed out of his pajamas and into a black v-neck shirt along with a comfortable pair of jeans.

Afterwards, he brushed his teeth and packed the last of his toiletries and then did the same for the children.

He helped Alexis adjust the grey hair bow and at the last minute, she threw a couple more in her suitcase and Louis squeezed one more stuffed animal in his, before he could finally zip them closed for good.

He'd gotten them all a matching set of suitcases. The family set. He was so very proud of it and carried the children's suitcases downstairs with the utmost care, setting them down next to his own red one.

They'd been on sale and since Louis hadn't even had his own suitcase, Kate had been okay with it. Mostly.

"Are you ready, Kate?" Castle called with a quick glance to his watch. It was four-thirty, their car would be here any minute.

"Ready," she called back, pulling her suitcase through the office, walking in long strides.

He couldn't stop staring. Just ten minutes ago, her hair had been wet, and she'd worn a ratty, old t-shirt and not much else, and now she simply looked ... stunning. Black leggings, a white top and an oversized olive-green army jacket with pockets and black lace-up boots, her damp hair in a bun. It was such a simple look but she just - she just pulled it off. Effortless beauty.

Kate caught him staring - hell, even the children did - and then her soft lips covered his, her fingers finding a sliver of skin above his jeans.

After regaining his composure, Castle ushered them out of the apartment and locked it up while Louis got the elevator. Their driver was already waiting for them and with his help the four red suitcases were quickly stowed away in the trunk.

While the children got into the backseat, Castle offered Kate the front seat, but she shook her head. "You'll be sitting in a cramped space for eight hours straight, you should enjoy the legroom while you can."

He thanked her with a quick kiss and then they were on their way to the airport. The ride was spent in silence and when Castle turned around in his seat at one point, both children were leaning against Kate's side, their eyes closed while she stroked their hair. It was a lovely picture and their elderly driver shared a knowing smile with Castle.

Although it was early, there was already a queue at the luggage check-in, and Castle, ever the child, got one of the luggage carts and stacked their suitcases in a way that it was safe for Louis and Alexis to sit on them. They happily climbed on and held onto the little basket on the cart that was meant for small, personal items. Making sure they were holding on tight, Castle raced through the airport, making random zig-zag lines and figure eights with squealing tires and abrupt stops. Alexis and Louis were having a blast, giggling and laughing while being jerked around like marionettes and, much to Castle's liking, they were far from falling asleep again. He needed them awake for the luggage check-in and the passport control. They could sleep again once they had found their terminal.

Castle got a few grins from other parents that were delighted to see such a devoted father, but Kate trailed a few yards behind them, pretending not to know this man-child. He didn't care. They were flying to Norway.

It was a little before six o' clock when they finally found their terminal and took a seat. There weren't many people at first and they spread out over the seats, occupying a total of six, but when the terminal started to fill and people were looking for places to sit, Kate scooped Louis into her arms, making room for an elderly lady. She had one arm around the boys' shoulders and the other hooked under his knees. His head was turned into her chest while he slept.

It wasn't often that you got to hold your child like that anymore once they exceeded the age of three and judging by the tender smile Kate gave Castle when he kept staring, she knew that. This position couldn't be comfortable for her, but she treasured the moment.

Alexis was leaning into Castle's side with her favorite purple butterfly backpack strapped to her chest, her nose twitching adorably in her sleep.

These were the moments Castle lived for. Simple, yet meaningful moments with the people he loved. Leaning to his right, he pressed a tender kiss to Kate's temple, catching a whiff of her cherry scented hair.

She gave him a soft smile and he dropped a hand to her leggings-clad thigh, simply resting it there in a comforting gesture. They didn't need to use words to communicate, looks and the simplest of touches were enough for successful communication between them.

Castle watched their fellow passengers while waiting for the minutes to tick by and studied their boarding passes over and over again until his gaze fell on their assigned seats. By the looks of it, there were two seats on either side of the aisle, a total of four in a row.

"Hey Kate, how do you want to sit?" he asked quietly, showing her the boarding passes.

"Are we not sitting together?" she asked, twisting her body beneath Louis' heavy weight to look at the boarding passes.

"We are," he reassured her. "There's just an aisle between us and Alexis mentioned that she wanted to sit next to you. I just don't know how that's going to work for Louis."

"It's his first time flying, I doubt he'll leave my side. And I really hate flying, I wanted him to sit close to you for reassurance," she huffed out with furrowed brows and slumped back against her seat.

"You're not scared though, are you?" Castle asked carefully and laid his hand on her forearm, squeezing lightly.

"No. I just don't like it with all the noise during take-off, the vibrations and the possible turbulence."

Castle reached out tucked a loose curl behind her ear. "It's just a lot of noise. Maybe the children will let us swap places at some point, they'll surely want to play some of the games Alexis packed."

He gave her one last bolstering smile before it was announced that they could board now. Castle shouldered his carry-on and scooped Alexis onto his left hip, clutching her tight while holding onto all four of their passports and boarding passes. Kate attempted to carry Louis, but couldn't even get out of her chair with him in her arms. She shook him softly and while he whined and moaned about it, he stumbled after his mother to the check-in, one hand fisted in her light jacket.

They stood in line, Castle handed their boarding passes to the friendly flight attendant and then they were already looking for their seats. Fortunate for Louis, who was still half-asleep, they were sitting relatively in the front.

Castle sat Alexis in the window seat, buckled her in and tucked away his carry-on that held his laptop.

Kate helped Louis with the seatbelt and the boy pressed his nose against the window, reaching back for his mother's arm with one hand and pointing at things outside. "What does this do?" Castle heard him ask. "And where are the wings, mom?" and "What's that funny looking car do?" and "What are those people yelling?"

"I don't know, Louis," Kate replied, her head reclined and her eyes closed.

"Hey mom, what's that noise?"

"Louis," Kate warned and breathed deeply through her nose. She looked stressed and Louis was somewhere between tired and excited. Never a good combination with a child.

"Hey Kate," Castle whispered, nudged her foot with his. "Let's switch."

When Kate seemed hesitant, he called for Louis. "Hey buddy, want me to explain to you what's going on out there?"

The boy looked thrilled and Kate unbuckled her belt. Her hand squeezed his in passing.

"Look, that's the tunnel through which we boarded. All passengers are on board and now they're retracting it," he explained and Louis stared out the window in awe.

Before they knew, they were rolling backwards, then turning, and slowly rolling towards the runway.

The airplane came to a stop and Louis looked at Castle in askance. "In just a few seconds, the engine will come to life with a roar and then we're going to speed down that runway, bump over the center lights and-"

He was interrupted by a chuckle and he turned around to find Kate laughing at him. Louis seemed to like his excitement. Hanging on his every word and holding onto the knee of his jeans.

Just as he predicted, the engine howled beneath them seconds later and then Louis was clutching his stomach, sprawled in his seat and giggling while they gained altitude.

"Feels funny," he gasped, his feet pressing into the back of the seat in front of him.

Turning in his seat, he saw Kate swallowing repeatedly, her hands pressed against her stomach. He reached to stroke her forearm. "You okay? It's just a lot of noise," he reassured and Kate nodded, casting him a thankful glance.

Then the landing gear retracting with one last thump and the airplane straightened.

XXX

It was two hours later when Alexis began to stir. He'd been writing with Louis' head against his arm and he suspected the boy would sleep a little longer, but Alexis would be demanding his full attention soon. So he closed his laptop, slid it under the seat in front of him without jostling the boy too much.

Alexis started stretching, throwing her arms over her head and kicking her feet out in front of her before slumping into Kate's side and then jerking back with a confused look on her face.

"Oh, hey Kate," she grinned while Kate slowly came to. "Hey dad," she greeted, waving at him.

"Sleep well?"

"Yeah, but I'm still tired. I just woke because I was hungry," she replied, yawning, and then resting her fingers shyly on the armrest between her's and Kate's seat.

"Food will be here any minute," Castle told her while Kate pushed up the armrest between them and drew the girl into her side.

After half an hour of dozing, the stewardess came by and handed them their trays. Louis was awake and thanked the stewardess obediently for the bag of gummy bears he'd been handed along with his meal.

"There are so many yellow ones in mine," Alexis complained and picked them out, stretching her arm out as far as possible to give them to Louis. Louis did the same with his white ones. The children didn't even need to communicate about this, they simply knew which gummy bears the other liked and disliked.

After they had eaten and their trays had been cleared, Alexis got her backpack from under her seat and pulled out a few games.

"Wanna play, Louis?" she asked and the boy nodded enthusiastically. Castle, Kate and Louis all got out of their seats and after performing a little dance in the narrow aisle of the plane, Louis was finally sitting next to Alexis and Castle scooted in next to Kate who was currently staring out of the window.

"Stunning, isn't it?" he murmured softly, peeking over Kate's shoulder at the millions of tiny clouds that looked like cotton balls, floating on the azure blue sky.

Kate hummed in agreement and leaned her forehead against the glass, a soft smile tugging at her lips.

"What are you smiling at?" Castle asked, his hot breath skirting over her neck, making her squirm away from the tickling sensation.

"I don't know," she admitted, a soft blush painting her cheeks. "I'm just happy, that's all."

She turned her head slightly and regarded him with this tender, adoring expression that made his breath hitch. He reached for her hand and tangled his fingers with hers. "Me too."

She surged into him then, her mouth hot, her tongue wicked. It sizzled through him and his insides came alive with the taste and smell and feeling of _her_.

XXX

Many hours later, after having dealt with two very bored children, Alexis' fear of the airplane toilet and its loud flushing noise, and several cramps in his right calf due to the confined space, they finally landed in Oslo, got their luggage and took a cab to their hotel.

Castle had Paula book a suite with two bedrooms and that's where they arrived now, in the late hours of the evening. Wide awake.

As soon as Alexis had discovered the large king-sized bed she was going to share with Louis, she had started jumping on it, Louis having followed soon after. It was going to be a long, sleepless night. The children were wide awake - it was only afternoon in New York after all - and wanted to move, while Castle himself was drained. He never slept in while in the air.

He turned on the TV, hoping to find some cartoons that would keep the children entertained, but he couldn't find a single English-speaking channel. It was going to be a very long night.

Normally, he was against Alexis jumping on the bed or the couch, but for today he'd let it pass, the children needed to get rid of their energy one way or the other. After checking out the suite, and its luxurious bathroom with the Jacuzzi, he and Kate started to unpack their suitcases.

"What time is your book signing tomorrow?" she asked him while lining up the shoes she brought on the trip - six pairs for ten days - at the bottom of the closet.

"Eleven," Castle groaned and flopped down on the bed, strung out from waking up early after only a few hours of sleep and keeping the children entertained on the long flight.

Kate checked the alarm clock on the nightstand. It was almost midnight and she knew, thanks to the jet lag, they'd probably wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to go back to sleep again. "Why don't you try and sleep?" she suggested, sitting down at his hip. "I'll entertain the children and tuck them in later."

"You sure?"

She leaned over him and kissed him softly. "Get some sleep, Castle."

"I'll text you the address of the bookstore. Maybe you could meet me there for lunch? It's in walking distance from the hotel."

"We'll be there."

He fell asleep to the vivid images of the three people he loved coming to see him doing what he loved.

* * *

Author's Note: I'll be flying to Paris early on Wednesday and while I'm trying to get another (short) chapter up before that, I'm not going to make any promises. I might tweet you some pictures though ;) See you next week at the latest!

Twitter: kbymyside


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

After the worst night she'd probably ever had - up twice to shush first giggling and later squabbling children while troubled to find sleep herself - they had all been a little groggy in the morning.

Kate's alarm had brought her out of a deep sleep at noon, but at least she had slept a few hours without waking up. She hadn't even heard Castle getting ready two hours earlier.

It had been too late to get breakfast at the hotel but to her surprise there had been a basket of fresh bread rolls in the tiny kitchenette, along with fresh orange juice in the mini fridge. Castle.

He had also left them the address to the large bookstore he was signing at along with simple directions. Deciding a walk would be good for all of them, she had grabbed both children's hands outside the hotel and started the twenty minute walk.

They were now strolling through a large pedestrian area with shops on either side of the street and she had already torn away the children from an overpriced souvenir shop that sold troll wigs and a stray cat.

"Look Kate, that's so funny, they call 'street' 'gate'," Alexis pointed out a few minutes later and Kate turned her head to look at the street sign stapled to a house.

"Karl Johans Gate," Alexis read.

"Look," Louis shouted. "Olsens Gate!"

"Prinsens Gate!" Alexis shouted back and then giggled while Louis was already turning his head for the next street sign, tripping over a lose cobblestone. Kate managed to hold him up before he hit the ground but he scuffed the toe of his shoe - his new shoe. He didn't seem to notice, so focused on finding a street name that he almost stepped in a large puddle if it weren't for her jerking him out of the way just in time.

Overfatigued children were the worst.

XXX

After a seemingly never-ending walk and about a thousand street names later, they finally arrived at the book store.

If the modern building with the large windows didn't catch your attention, the throng of people outside certainly did.

With a glance to her watch, Kate noted it was only about half past one and Castle still had half an hour of signing left. "Can we go in Alexis, do you know?" she asked the redhead as she herself was unsure of what to do. Were she and the children welcome in the store? Could they just go in and slip behind the desk where Castle sat at? Only now did she notice that she had never really talked to Castle about this part of his job.

"Yes, we can, we're his family," Alexis complied unwittingly and headed for the open double doors.

Kate gripped her hand tightly and followed her through the doors where Paula was already headed for them.

Paula had flown in a day earlier. Usually, she was never one to pass on a chance to spend time with Castle, but when Alexis was with him, she stayed clear of them. She didn't directly despise Alexis, but the girl made her job a lot harder. Easy to spot with her red hair, she was an easy target for the paparazzi and Castle put Paula under a lot of pressure to keep those pictures out of the tabloids. Paula took the frustration that unnerving job brought with it out on Alexis. Not outwardly of course, but innerly, so when she spotted the redhead, she rolled her eyes.

"Come on in," Paula sighed defeatedly and shooed a woman to the side so Alexis could pass easily. Unless it came to Castle himself, the woman was seriously rude.

Alexis released Kate's hand and sprinted straight to the desk where her father was signing books, but when Kate tried to follow her, Paula blocked her path.

Paula's lips curled into a waspish smile and she pointed a red-lacquered finger at Kate. "You know, if you come in here, I won't be able to keep your little relationship out of the papers anymore," she told Kate, her tone trying to belittle what she and Castle had. And Kate realized - Paula was jealous. As hell.

She actually had pity with her; Castle was a great man. But the rudeness and those disguised digs at her had to stop.

Castle had left the room when he'd called Paula to ask her to book two more flights and make it a ten day trip instead of a seven day one, but she'd heard the beginning of his agent's rant through the phone. And she'd also heard Castle's hushed but steely 'Paula, that's enough'.

"That's okay," Kate shrugged and caught Castle waving at her from his seat behind the desk. "Now if you would excuse me, I think Castle is expecting us." She felt good the moment she said it and Paula actually clamped her lips together in surprise and stepped aside, but then she regretted her words. Paula was Castle's agent, had been from the very start and probably would be till the end, so maybe she should make an effort to get along with her. It couldn't do her and Castle's relationship any good if she and his agent couldn't stand each other.

"Hey," Castle grinned and lifted the barrier that separated the area behind his desk from the rest of the book store for them to duck under and ruffled Louis' in greeting. "Twenty more minutes and we're out of here," he promised and she bent to brush her lips over his cheek. She didn't care who saw or took pictures.

"Take your time," she whispered. It was her turn now to support him in his job.

Castle rewarded her with a beaming smile and then reached for the next book on his desk to please his next fan.

The tall woman with the thick, blonde hair clutched the book to her chest, stumbled over her words while trying to express her gratitude, and left the store with an awestruck smile.

Kate wondered if she'd been the same almost eight years ago. She remembered smiling, just because it had felt so _weird_ and her skin had stretched tight over the apples of her cheeks. She hadn't smiled a lot back then. And her hair had been short. Those luscious locks she'd been so proud of during her high school years had been chopped off just weeks after her mother's murder and she hadn't let them grow again until a few years ago. Until she'd felt secure enough in her job as Detective and leader of a male team.

One day she'd tell him the story of how she'd waited in line for an hour to get her worn copy of '_Kissed And Killed_' signed. It was actually one of his worst books, but the first of his she'd gotten her hands on and it would always hold a special place in her heart.

Twenty minutes later, they were outside the store, where Castle shook hands with a few fans that had waited and even took a few pictures while Paula eyed the situation critically from a distance. But Alexis and Louis were both with her and she made sure none of the cameras were pointed at them.

The fans were nice, not at all bothersome, and Kate could tell Castle had fun engaging with them. But then he bid them goodbye, shrugged into the thin jacket he'd brought and pressed a lingering kiss to Kate's lips.

Of course, both children turned away, groaned, and an "Eww, daddy!" escaped Alexis - for which Castle gave her ponytail a sharp tug.

Kate noticed that Paula had watched the scene from the distance, and the woman looked plain miserable. Lonely and miserable.

"We're not far from the National Theater," Kate murmured lowly. "Why don't we look at it together with Paula? I'm sure she only has a few minutes before she has to start preparing your afternoon at the book store, but, I mean-" She glanced at the woman again - who had been locking the front door for the past three minutes - and couldn't help but feel sorry for her. According to Castle, she was not very popular with the agency she worked at and also not with Black Pawn.

"Kate Beckett," Castle gasped, partly amused. "You feel sorry for her."

She'd been in the same situation before. Bitter, moody, lonely. She'd had a reason and she was sure, Paula had one as well. But unlike now, nobody had tried to get her out of that viscious cycle. She hadn't looked like she wanted that at the time, but she had. She had only had trouble expressing herself.

"Hey Paula," she called. "Wanna come check out the National Theater with us?"

Paula looked up in surprise and when Kate used her elbow, Castle nodded obediently in invitation.

They hustled along the sidewalk in a group of five until they reached the courtyard of the impressive brick building that was embellished with four large stone pillars in the front that framed the building.

It was an impressive building, but Louis was more interested in the water fountain opposite it. To Kate it looked like a bronze tree but the water fell in a round shape, making it look like a ball. Kind of. If you squinted your eyes a little. It was an interesting piece of art, that was for certain.

Paula seemed to enjoy it as well and she dug out a small digital camera from the depths of her large purse.

"Want me to take a picture of you?" Kate offered and accepted the camera while Paula situated herself on a wooden bench in front of it - but not before pulling Castle down next to her.

"Come on, Ricky, take a picture with your favorite publisher."

Castle pulled a face when Paula didn't look and drawled, "Of course I'll take a picture with my absolute _favorite _publisher."

Paula was displeased with him, but he slung an arm around her shoulder's for the photo and smiled charmingly.

As Kate had predicted, Paula didn't have a lot of time and after their little trip to the National Theater, she excused herself, warning Castle to be back at the store at four o' clock for another three hours of signing.

She actually spared Kate a smile and she hoped she had made up for her snarky comment earlier and they were on better terms now.

"Okay, let's do something fun," Castle suggested and reached for the city map of Oslo he had tucked in his pocket. "What's close to the National Theater?"

Kate leaned into his side to study the map while the children posed with some of the many statues standing around.

"That doesn't look too far away," Castle mumbled and pointed at a spot on the map. "Ak- Akse- Ake-"

"Akershus Festning," Kate supplied helpfully with a little smirk. Castle may have mastered the English language, but he was just hopeless when it came to other languages. She thought it was important to at least know a few phrases of the native language of a country, but teaching Castle had been a disaster. She doubted he even remembered that "god morgen" meant good morning.

"What's that?" Louis asked, having overheard their conversation.

"I think that's the fortress, isn't it?" Kate asked, looking at Castle for help, but he only shrugged his shoulders.

"I have no idea, but let's check it out."

XXX

The fortress was wonderfully intact and Kate had never seen anything like it. It looked so old and smelled of history and she could just imagine the sound of horse hooves on the cobblestones.

Places like this didn't exist in New York anymore and Kate soaked in every detail. The pointed roofs, the grey stone walls, the low-rise buildings.

The yard behind the fortress gave a clear view of the ocean and the harbor and of course both children were immediately climbing on one of the many canons that stood around as adornments.

They were red and gold, the metal turquoise with age and Louis was already balancing on the barrel, pretending to be a pirate.

Laughing, Kate got her camera out and took a few pictures of the children who weren't able to stop pulling faces. Eventually she gave up on getting a normal picture of them, and when an elderly man offered to take their picture, Kate handed him the camera and she and Castle posed with the children.

She had the apprehensive feeling that Castle was pulling faces as well, and when she caught him doing it, she pinched his earlobe between two fingers.

"You're such a child," she scolded and released his ear when he promised to be good, but the next moment, Castle had an arm wrapped around her waist and pressed a scalding kiss into her mouth.

She heard the click of the camera and Louis' whine behind her on the canon. "Now we have _pictures_ of it."

Kate broke away from Castle with an unbelieving laugh, pulled Louis off the canon and showered his hair and face with kisses in retribution.

The boy moaned and groaned and whined and shrieked and Kate didn't let up until he practically begged.

Everyone was laughing, and he was too. At first. Then his eyes turned murderous and he scuffed after them, dragging his feet over the grass and pouting.

From the yard they had a clear view of the ocean and the harbor beneath them and Kate was watching a group of tourists climb off a boat and scatter around the many little cafés and ice cream shops that lined the far side of the harbor.

"We should go on a sightseeing cruise," Kate suggested and Alexis was on her tiptoes in a matter of seconds, both arms clutched around her father's arm.

"Yes, daddy, please, a boat tour!"

Castle swallowed visibly. "You mean on one of those rickety fishing boats? No way."

"They're not rickety and they're not fishing boats. They are perfectly safe cruise boats. Hundreds of people use them every day, we should too. The harbor is only a short walk away, we have time."

"There's not enough money in the world to get me on one of those," Castle insisted, shaking his head adamantly and convulsing in repulsion.

"Oh, come on, Castle. It'll be great. We'll get to see a lot of things and the tour guide will give us some insider tips for sure."

"Please, daddy. I don't want to walk anymore today. And Louis wants to be a pirate. And we will learn so much," Alexis added, looking at him with those huge baby blues, knowing her dad could never say no to those.

Louis, who had been sulking in the background, finally came closer and gave Castle a tiny, hopeful smile and he broke with a groan. "Fine," he agreed at last. "But if the boat is rusty or squeaks when I get on, we're not going."

Kate simply rolled her eyes at him, and turned around to leave the fortress and start the short walk down to the harbor.

The boat that had come in just ten minutes ago was still docked and people were already boarding, but Castle still looked repelled and Kate realized that he might not be overly dramatic for once, but might actually have a serious problem with boats.

She stepped up to him, her hands finding his shoulders and he looked down at her with that little boy fright in his eyes.

"The kids and I can go by ourselves another time," she offered quietly, her hand drifting down his arm and curling around his elbow.

"No," he huffed. "I want to go on the tour with you. I just get a little sea sick sometimes. Especially when the boat is so small."

"It's not that small and the sea looks very calm. But we can look around, see if there's a cruise with bigger boats."

"The kids are already excited," he declined. "Let's get it over with. You might just need to borrow me your purse."

Castle laughed at the look on her face and reached for his wallet, pulling out enough money for four tickets. "Don't worry, babe, I'll puke over the railing."

"Not your babe," she grumbled and fixed him with a look but he was still grinning when he reached for her hand and led her to the jetty.

He went first, and after regaining his footing on the wobbly boat, he helped Louis and Alexis over the gap between the boat and the jetty.

Of course Kate waved his hand away when he tried to help her and the flats she chose to wear today allowed for a graceful leap that had him whistling low in his throat. "Sexy," he muttered hotly into her ear and she squirmed away from the teasing fingers on her hip.

She pushed him into one of the empty benches in the open back of the boat and because there were so many empty ones, Alexis and Louis slid in in front of them, allowing them all to see better.

When they were all settled, the boat slowly chugged away from the docks and Castle gripped the railing tightly. The boat was vibrating, zig-zagging between other boats and moored buoys and Castle's pale face was pinched.

Her hand found his and she started stroking calming patterns on the back of it with her thumb.

Then the boat gained speed and parted the water more evenly.

"Okay?" Kate asked and Castle opened his eyes again, nodding.

"Better now."

Then he relaxed, pulled her into his side and they looked at a reddish-brown brick building together, which their tour guide explained was the city hall where the Nobel Peace Prize was awarded each year.

XXX

Towards the end of the cruise, Louis' head lolled against the railing and even though his stomach was still churning, Castle was kind of sleepy as well.

The boat glided smoothly through the water and there was a lot to see out here at sea. Hundreds of colorful houses lined the shores, built on the rough terrain of Norway's stony beaches. Something that looked like a church was in the middle of the sea, with only a small footbridge connecting it to the mainland, and there were lots of boats.

"Do you think I should take them back to the hotel for a nap?" Kate asked to his right, jerking her head towards the tired children.

"Probably. They'll only get cranky without sleep."

Kate nodded and stared back out at the sea and he nudged her foot with his, an impish smile on his face. "Not too long though, or else they won't be able to sleep tonight. And that would be a pity. Especially tonight," he teased and Kate narrowed her eyes at him in suspicion.

"What's tonight?"

He leaned in close, fingers finding a sliver of skin above the waistband of her jeans and her reaction was instant. Goose bumps rose under his touch and her eyes were a shade darker than before.

"Got plans for you, Ms. Beckett," he rumbled against her temple and her lids fluttered closed. After all these months, the simplest of touches still affected her.

But then she turned the tables on him and her slim fingers high on his thigh had his leg jerking and his knee bumping into the wooden bench in front of him.

Her voice had a teasing lilt to it when she lifted her head to speak directly into his ear. "What kind of plans?"

He stilled her migrating fingers on his thigh; any further and they'd be crossing into dangerous territory and he knew, once that happened, he'd forget about the book signing and drag her back to the hotel.

"Definitely those kind, as well," he got out. "But first, I want to take you out."

"Where're we going?"

He glanced at the kids in front of them. "Just the hotel restaurant, so we'll be close. But the food is excellent there I heard."

"The bread rolls you got us from there this morning definitely were."

"I'm glad. I'll make sure to get us a table at eight.

"Great. I can't wait," Kate hummed and pressed a kiss to his jaw.

He couldn't either. He had something for her, kept it in a pocket in his wallet, and while he was excited to give it to her, the metal also felt strangely heavy.

* * *

Thank you all for your patience and lovely reviews.

Twitter: kbymyside


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29 **

She's glad she'd had the foresight to bring a dress. With Castle you never knew, so she'd made sure to bring something for every occasion. She even brought her hiking boots, in case he wanted to go explore some of the scenery in the north and west of Norway.

The dress she brought was red and strapless and she already knew that the amount of skin on display would catch Castle's attention. It always did, and she thoroughly enjoyed teasing him a little. That desperate and dangerous edge it brought to the confines of their bedrooms was just what she needed sometimes.

She laid the dress out on her bed with care and inspected it closely for wrinkles. She had had to stuff it in the bottom of her suitcase to hide it from Castle's prying eyes. He had already gotten a glimpse of her underwear the night before their flight and that had led to - well, very little sleep.

When she was certain the dress didn't have any wrinkles, she grabbed the phone on her nightstand and ordered room service for Louis and Alexis. They had wished for pasta and juice and even though they weren't really hungry yet, she wanted them to be fed and ready for bed before she and Castle left.

While the children slurped their pasta at the table, Kate was in the bathroom trying to fix her hair. She wanted to do something different with it, but wasn't in the mood for a bun. She wanted something elegant yet playful.

"Louis! Alexis!" she called and they hurried into the bathroom. Their opinion was as good as any. "What do you think I should do with my hair?"

"You should put braids in it. Lots and lots of braids," came Louis' idea and Kate set her hope on Alexis.

"No, you should just clip the front strands to the side, like this." When Kate didn't understand, she bent down so Alexis could show her. "Just those strands. I think that looks really pretty."

Kate placed her fingers over Alexis' to keep the hair in place and straightened again to look at herself in the mirror.

What she saw was a cute hairstyle - but not one for her date with Castle tonight. It gave her an idea though.

"You know what? I'll do something similar to that and wear my hair half up half down."

"With braids?" Louis asked and Kate blew him a kiss. "Not tonight. Next time, baby. Remind me."

Louis didn't seem to mind much - he wasn't into hair at all, not even his own - and she started working on her hair while the children went back to their noodles.

When Castle bustled in at half past seven, she had just finished her make-up and he shooed her out of the bathroom in order to take a quick shower.

She slipped into the dress, pulled the zipper up and slid into a chair at the table to talk to Louis and Alexis again.

"Remember not to open the door, no matter how persistent the knocking is. Rick and I have a key card and nobody from the hotel would come and knock on the door. They'd call."

"But we don't pick up the phone when it rings," Louis got out around a forkful of spaghetti, looking pleased with himself.

"Exactly."

"And daddy's number one on your speed dial," Alexis remembered, swinging her legs eagerly like she did every time she was proud of herself.

"I am?" Castle asked, having just come out of the bathroom. His hair was still damp and he was just shrugging into a dress shirt, but he still managed to look a little smug when she rolled her eyes at him.

But he got serious then and joined them at the table. "Remember, if anything happens, anything at all, we're just downstairs."

"Yes, daddy, we know," Alexis said kindly yet impatient. This was not the first time they had had this talk today.

XXX

After listening to Louis flip the lock from the inside, they were finally headed downstairs.

"Hey there, by the way," Castle murmured when they got into the elevator. "You look gorgeous."

He brushed his lips over hers while his palm splayed widely over her back, his pinky dipping just beneath the fabric of her dress. Bingo.

"You look mighty fine yourself, Castle," she complimented and straightened his collar, smiling when her hand slid over his biceps to finally tangle with his.

They were led to their table and Kate didn't even have to look at the menu. She wanted fish. Norway was famous for its fish and her mouth watered at only the thought of grilled salmon.

Castle was with her on that and while she got her grilled salmon with a side of asparagus, he ordered a rainbow trout with butter-steamed potatoes.

But first, they had to deal with their appetizers. She had chosen a light cucumber salad and Castle had ordered a seafood platter.

"Oh my god, Kate, you have to try this, this is fantastic!"

He offered her a fork of shrimps and she smirked. "We gonna be one of those couples?" But she let him feed her anyway.

She pressed her lips together to keep in the moan that threatened to spill out. It really was good.

Seafood was something she loved but rarely had. Louis wasn't a fan of it and she usually didn't have the time to buy fresh fish and prepare it properly, and she refused to eat those cardboard-like fish sticks Louis was so fond of. So tonight's meal would definitely be one of the highlights of their trip.

They were laughing by the time their main course was dished and after a round of moaning, complimenting and trading bites of their fish, Castle put his fork aside. By the look on his face, Kate could tell something he was about to say something serious.

"You okay?" she asked even though it was redundant. Castle was rubbing his damp palms over his thighs and took a large gulp of the water they had ordered along with their wine. He was clearly not okay.

"I- There is something I've been meaning to give you," he started carefully, gaging her every movement like a hawk. "It can mean as much or as little as you want," he continued, placating her already, even though she hadn't said anything yet.

She found his hand on top of the table and gave it an encouraging squeeze. "Castle."

He shook her hand off and reached for his wallet. After a few moments of digging around, he produced a large silver key and held it up between them.

"Is that-?"

"Yes, it is. And as I said, this doesn't have to mean anything at all and-"

She made a noise that interrupted him and feathered her fingers along his jaw. "No, this is huge Castle. It means a lot and I love it."

A silly, happy smile spilled from his lips and she couldn't help but lean in for a taste of his happiness.

"I figured it would make things a lot easier. And that way you don't always have to pester my super to unlock my door for you," he grinned.

"We need to go keychain shopping," she grinned back and curled her fingers around the key.

But then something occurred to her and left a bitter taste in her mouth. Had Castle been nervous because this was huge for him as well, or had he actually feared her reaction? Probably the latter. And justifiably so.

"Can we talk about something more serious for a second?" she asked then because she just needed to know. "It'll probably ruin the mood, so I'd understand if you don't want to right now." Her tone left no doubt though that she wanted to do this right now.

"If it's something that bothers you, we should address it as quickly as possible, don't you think?"

"Okay," she breathed out, leaning back in her chair to gather her thoughts before resting her arms on the table and finding his hand. "Last month - I know I reacted very poorly and I realize that all this time I haven't been very fair to you."

"Kate-"

"Don't interrupt me, Richard Castle. No need to sugarcoat it, I was downright nasty and selfish. And I know that and I'm working on myself because I want to be better than that. I want to be what you deserve. But while I do that, I need you to ask things of me. I _want_ you to be able to ask things of me. I- I notice you skirting topics that might be sore points for me but I realize it shouldn't be that way. You shouldn't be afraid to talk to me about something because you're worried about my reaction. It doesn't work like that in the long run."

They had both stopped eating by now and while it had been his hand that had been becoming damp minutes ago, it was hers now.

"I want us to be equals, Rick. Partners. It's the least you deserve."

Her pulse was thundering beneath his fingers but her eyes were determined. The long run was what they were both in for.

"Okay," he replied hoarsely, stunned and overwhelmed, his eyes glittering in the low lights of the restaurant. "Partners."

"Partners," she echoed, the corners of her lips lifting until Castle circled her wrist, brought her palm to his mouth and feathered his lips over it, his eyes never leaving hers.

He was such a stunning man. So tall and broad, with hands that dwarfed her body, but he was so gentle and patient. And he deserved everything she had to offer.

"Tell me what you want," she rasped, still under his spell.

He hesitated only a moment before lacing his fingers with hers, their food cold and forgotten. "I want a life with you. In whatever form you're willing to give."

Her pulse was drumming her ears. "No, Castle. What do _you_ want? Details."

He took a shaky breath but his voice was strong and clear. "I want us to be a family. And I want you with us at the loft. Wearing my ring."

"I want that too," she entrusted quietly, suddenly aware that their conversation had become too intimate for a public restaurant. "But first I need to be better."

He shook his head, pressed his thumb against her lips. "No. That's not true. You're perfect for me the way you are."

This time it was Kate who shook her head. "These past few months, you've offered me everything. You've been everything I needed you to be. And now it's my turn to offer you the same. And more. But for that I need to be more than who I am."

"Okay, Kate, we'll both work on being better until the time is right," he offered.

"Until the time is right," she promised, and this time, he was the one to capture her radiant smile with his lips.

XXX

What had started out as soft little kisses in the elevator, were now sharp nips at his earlobe and jaw while he tried to get the key card into the lock.

Kate's hands were roaming; up his chest, around his ribs, over his biceps, and the teasing, feather-light touches were driving him crazy.

"Jesus, Kate," he groaned when he missed again.

"Need help sticking it in?" she purred, her tongue pushing against her teeth teasingly, and Castle dropped his forehead against the solid door with a whine.

"Kate, stop doing that, you're not helping."

Her laugh was throaty as she pushed him aside and swiped the key card with a flick of her wrist.

She stepped into their suite with one last taunting look over her shoulder and the next thing he knew was her strong body between him and the wall.

One of her heels was poking him in the calf but he didn't notice it. He was so focused on the rocking of her body against his thigh and the tiny zipper on the side of her dress that had somehow gotten stuck and-

"Hey daddy, can we order cookies from the room service?"

He jumped away from Kate as if burned and had just enough brain cells left to reach for her elbow and keep her from tumbling to the ground.

When Alexis rounded the corner of her room, he was just wiping lip gloss off his face and shielding Kate who was trying to work the zipper free and up again.

"Pumpkin, A-Alexis," he stuttered and got an elbow to the ribs. "No. No, we can't get cookies. You know the rule, no more sweets after eight."

"I thought that was just Kate's rule," she mused but then shrugged her shoulders. "I'll go watch TV then. Louis found an English channel."

"Yeah, do that," he murmured, facing Kate and helping her with the zipper when Alexis disappeared again. "Wait, aren't you guys tired?" he called out as an afterthought and got a curt "No!" back.

"The zipper is stuck," Kate hissed and let her head fall back against the wall in disappointment. They both had totally forgotten about the children. And while they loved them dearly, sometimes they were just ... in the way.

"I'll get them to bed. And then I'll get you out of that dress."

"That better be a promise." Her voice was rough with lust and need and he knew she had already been halfway there.

"Definitely a promise."

As it turned out, both children were extremely tired, just too stubborn to admit to it.

"Come on you two, tomorrow Kate is taking you to see the castle. You need to be fit for that."

"You should come too," Louis murmured, his face already smashed into his pillow and his body limp. "Castle visiting a castle."

"That's kind of funny," Alexis cackled with a note of hysteria to it, her eyelids heavy. "I'm also a Castle visiting a castle."

"Not when you fall asleep on the subway," Castle warned and the kids finally seemed to get it. After a little help getting with his PJs, Louis was off to the bathroom to brush his teeth and Alexis went to look for Kate who had managed to free her zipper.

"Was everything okay while we were gone?" she asked the redhead and Castle pretended to look over his schedule for the next day.

"Yes. We're big kids. I'm almost nine."

"I know," Kate sighed. "But I'm a mother, it's my job to worry about you."

"About me, too?"

"Technically, it's not my job to worry about you. But I do anyway. I worry about all the people I love."

"I worry about you too, sometimes," Alexis admitted with a tiny smile that was part sweet shyness, part embarrassment.

"I promised to be careful, remember? So you just focus on your school and your friends, okay?"

"Okay."

When the children were finally in bed, and Castle had swallowed the lump in his throat, he wiped an imaginary bead of sweat off his forehead. "That was close."

"So close," Kate let out and he wasn't completely certain she was referring to them almost being caught.

He took his sweet time peeling her out of her dress, worshipping her body everywhere he touched, and this time when he brought her close to the edge, he hurled her over and followed closely behind.

* * *

Twitter: kbymyside


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

The rest of their time in Norway flew by at lightning speed. They spent a few more days in Oslo until they drove to Bergen, located in the west, and then to Trondheim in the north. When Castle's week of signing was over, they drove back to Oslo and went to the National Gallery and the Reptile Park and shopping in Aker Brygge. It was expensive but everyone still got a little something.

And they found Kate a keychain. She had wanted something that would always remind her of Norway, but while she had had something touristy in mind - like the Norwegian flag - Louis had begged her to buy a Norwegian troll.

She had denied him a troll wig he found in a souvenir shop, and now she had a tiny clay troll with spiky hair, a huge nose and a green overall dangling on her keychain. She just hoped she wouldn't crush the poor guy, and if so, that Louis would never find out.

All of them were sad to leave beautiful Norway and make the bubble they had been in for the past few days pop, but Castle was worried about the state of his loft. Martha had said she only wanted to 'invite a few friends from the theater', which meant he'd probably come home to an empty liquor cabinet and lime wedges on the ceiling.

It was late that Wednesday evening when they touched down in Manhattan and neither of them were at all ready to face their real life.

But Kate needed to go back to work and Alexis missed her grandmother and the beach in the Hamptons. Norway had beautiful beaches, but just wasn't warm enough in June to enjoy them.

Back in Manhattan, Castle's car service waited for them and he only let Kate and Louis get out of the car after they promised they would be visiting him and Alexis in the Hamptons for a day or two. After ten days of practically living with them, he couldn't bear not seeing them for two and a half weeks.

Kate didn't drive out there for the weekend of the Fourth of July. Mainly because it would be crazy to drive a car to the Hamptons on a National Holiday, but also because she knew Martha would visit her son and granddaughter that weekend.

She was the reason why Martha hadn't seen as much of her family as she used to, and she wanted them to have some time together. Spending a weekend alone with Louis didn't hurt either. The boy had been so good lately - sharing her with Rick and Alexis - he deserved to have her all to himself for a few days, doing things he loved; mini golf and ice cream.

It always surprised her how good he was at mini golf, how he was so quiet and determined and concentrated solely on the ball while the other children usually goofed around and just hit the ball as hard as they could.

He had always been intellectual and a little withdrawn, and her heart ached when she remembered how many times he'd played by himself at the playground because he'd been too shy to walk up to the other children. Now she had all the more reason to be proud of him. He was opening up, trusting himself to do things and ask for help.

He was also the one who told Castle that he didn't want to join them in the Hamptons but would rather stay in the city with his mom, even though she had to work. Six months ago, he would have begged her to tell Castle, but now he was starting to stand up for his decisions.

So instead of Louis spending a week alone with the Castle's, Kate drove them out to the Hamptons the next time she had two days off in a row.

Just in time for the annual beach volleyball tournament and barbeque that took place on a public beach close to the Castle's.

"I hope you're fit," Castle grinned in greeting as she stepped out of the car early on a Friday morning.

"I hope _you _are fit," she retorted, poking a finger into the soft flesh beneath his ribs, and okay, so maybe he had had a few too many of those Norwegian crispy, wafer-like cookies - Krumkake - but he was still a champion when it came to volleyball.

"I could give you private lessons," he husked with a waggle of his eyebrows, drawing her closer with a hand on her hip, and she pressed her lips together to fight off a smile.

"Think you can handle it? This time, I brought my own bathing suits." And then she was out of his arms with a wink, helping Louis with the overnight bag they brought.

XXX

"This is what we call bumping," Castle explained, helping Louis fold his hands correctly. "When a ball comes low, this is how you accept it. Just remember to keep your arms straight and to look in the direction you want the ball to go."

Louis untangled his hands, shook them and then re-folded them.

"Exactly. Show me again how you set."

Louis opened his palms above his head, the shape of a perfect triangle between them.

"Very good," Castle praised. "You ready for a few experimental throws?"

"Ready," Louis nodded, leaning forward in anticipation, eyes fixated on the ball.

They were on his private beach, near the water where the sand didn't give too easily beneath their feet.

"Here it comes," Castle warned and threw the ball so it was easy for Louis to accept it.

He did. He folded his hands quickly, locked his elbows and stepped forward. The ball bounced off his wrists and whizzed past Castle's head, landing in the ocean.

"I got it," Castle called and walked the few feet into the shallow water where the ball was floating.

The next ball was a little higher and Louis jumped, pitching the ball into the sand with his forward momentum.

"Nice jump, didn't think you'd be able to reach it," Castle complimented and Louis gave him a thumbs up. "Next time, look at me, not the ball. If you look at me, the ball will fly my direction."

"I'll just look at your face," Louis grinned, his tongue poking out cheekily and Castle pretended to hurl the ball at him.

Alexis would have scolded him for being so wild, but Louis was laughing and flexing his biceps at the same time, daring him. He was trying to be so intimidating, puffing his pale little chest out with his wet hair standing up in spikes that Castle played along.

They got serious again after a few minutes and Louis listened to him, concentrated and they managed to play back and forth a few times.

Just when Castle suggested they take a break, Kate appeared on the patio. "Lunch is ready, boys!"

"Mom! Come look at this," Louis called back, and Kate came closer.

Louis threw him the ball and he played it back easily. Louis accepted it, pitched it high in the air, jumped, and played back to Castle, who caught the ball.

"Oh Louis, that was amazing," Kate cheered and scratched her fingers through his hair. Castle saw her fighting the urge to give the boy a smacking kiss and grinned.

"What's for lunch?" Louis asked.

"Alexis and I made grilled cheese sandwiches. Better get one before they're cold."

Louis sprinted off with an urgency that let sand fly in every direction.

And then Kate stepped towards him with soft eyes.

"You taught him to play volleyball," she murmured, looking at him with awed eyes. And without shoes in just a thin top she looked so young and vulnerable.

"It's not a big deal," he tried to shrug it off even though he knew it was a big deal. He'd never had anyone to teach him sports, but every time Kate looked at him like he'd hung the moon, he wanted to run out and buy a ring and crush her to his chest to protect her from getting hurt ever again at the same time.

The flat of her hand found his wildly beating heart. "You know it is."

But then the mist cleared from her eyes and a smile broke through. She reached for his hand and pulled him with her and he followed gladly. Today was a sunny day and they were going to a barbeque this afternoon. They shouldn't spend the afternoon dwelling on what could have been had they only made wiser choices and being melancholic. That was something for rainy days when the children were asleep.

"So, you gonna be on my team?" he asked her with a grin as they fell into step.

"Your team. Yes. Always your team."

He didn't think she was talking about volleyball but the moment passed when they entered the house and saw that the children had prepared plates and drinks for them.

XXX

"And this tournament takes place every year?" Louis asked when they grabbed two beach chairs and put their stuff on them. They were early so they had gotten chairs close to the volleyball net.

"Yes. For some reason, the weekend after the fourth of July a lot of people from the area meet here and bring leftovers that would otherwise go to waste and we play a few rounds of beach volleyball. Sometimes we play northern streets versus southern streets, sometimes it's men versus women and sometimes the teams are random."

"And what do we do?" Louis asked, referring to the children belonging to other families that were running around.

"Build sand castles where we can see you," Kate chimed in, giving Louis a stern look. "You guys don't go into the water without telling us first, okay? No, wait, you don't go into the water at all while we play. We want to be able to see you at all times."

"But can we go into the water now for a little while?" Alexis piped up. "We have thirty more minutes before the game begins."

Castle, who had already spotted some friends in the distance, looked at Kate in askance.

"I'll take you," she agreed and Castle hurried off with a quick "thanks", carrying the vegetables for the burgers they'd chopped earlier to a large table by the grill area.

Kate stripped off the wrap she had worn, made sure their valuables were well hidden and then walked the few feet to the shoreline.

"Oh, the water is so warm," Alexis sighed, looking so relieved that Kate laughed.

"Unlike Norway, huh?"

"Yeah, the Norwegian water was cold," Louis nodded.

"You mean the Atlantic Ocean," Alexis corrected.

"It's not the Atlantic Ocean that's cold, it's the water in Norway," Louis argued, looking irritated. "Because this is also the Atlantic Ocean and it's clearly warm."

"No-" Alexis started, only to be interrupted by Kate's warning, "Come on you two, cut it out."

"But this _is_ the Atlantic Ocean," Louis protested, trying to stomp his foot, which wasn't nearly as effective in knee-high water.

"The Atlantic Ocean is pretty big, it's possible for it to be warm in one place and cold in another," Kate tried to settle the dispute without taking sides and being fair.

Alexis scowled at Louis once more, but hid behind her hair when Kate caught her.

They walked further out, and soon, Louis, who was still the shortest of them, had to hold onto her arm.

She pulled him through the gentle waves and when the water reached her collarbones, Louis pushed his goggles down, took a deep breath and started diving for shells.

Alexis stayed close to Kate and did flips in the water, looking so much like a mermaid with her red hair and aqua blue swimsuit.

She was like a fish in the water, and with Kate's assistance, she even managed a backflip.

When she was tired and sputtering water, she sat on Kate's hip, so light in the water, and they watched Louis dive for shells beneath them.

He gave Kate a few pretty ones to hold onto and only rested a few seconds in-between dives, but the first day at the beach was always the one where he was brimming over with energy.

"That's all of them," he panted when he came up for air again. "All the pretty ones. And now my arms are kinda heavy."

"Come on, I'll pull both of you back," Kate laughed and offered each child an arm until the water got too shallow and they had to walk.

She had almost forgotten that she wore that skimpy black bikini of hers until she walked back to their beach chairs.

Castle had spread two large towels over them and was just getting the shovels and buckets for the children out of the bag, but stopped mid-movement when he saw her.

Other men (and women) were staring too, but she only had eyes for him and pressed her lips together to keep from smiling when his jaw dropped.

"You can't wear something like that and then come out of the ocean all wet and- and looking like _that, _when we're stuck here all afternoon," he whined when she was close enough.

"What are you going to do about it?" she asked, eyebrows raised and tongue pushed against her teeth, making a show of wringing out her high ponytail.

Castle gulped and actually looked around for a secluded place to-

"Tonight," she promised, leaning close and ghosting her hands over his still t-shirt clad shoulders. She probably shouldn't tease him like that when they hadn't seen another in two weeks.

She was glad he didn't retaliate, because when the game began and he was standing in front of her, all broad shoulders and muscled back, diving headlong for the ball, she was the one swallowing heavily.

XXX

"Louis and Alexis were fighting today," Kate murmured, tracing patterns on Castle's naked chest.

He had insisted that she model the bikini for him to see only - with the allowance to touch - and after a midnight swim, they had barely made it to the beach chair on the patio that could not be overseen by any of the windows of the house.

And from there, they had barely made it to the couch in his library.

But the night breeze had been cool on their skins, and the couch had multiple blankets to keep them warm until they had the energy to go upstairs. And it had a door that could be locked.

"Like they did in Norway?" Castle asked.

Louis had adjusted to the new time zone much quicker than Alexis, and while he had wanted to sleep, she had wanted to read. With the lights on, which had made it impossible for Louis.

More than once had he found them at night, his grey stuffed whale clutched to his chest and his voice weepy.

"No, it was pointless this time. They were both being petty."

"I think they're just spending too much time together."

"What do you mean?" Kate startled, lifting her head from his chest to look at him.

He sat up, leaning against the back of the couch and Kate clutched one of the blankets to her chest, curling her knees up.

"They've been sleeping in the same room for months and we spend most of your off days together and have dinner all the time," Castle explained. "They're practically living on top of each other. And if we don't change that soon, they will only continue to grate on each other."

"But- What do you suggest?" she asked, because clearly, he couldn't be indicating they should spend less time together? Or one of them should get a babysitter when they did see each other?

"Don't look so worried," Castle remarked, slightly amused. He leaned forward and stroked his thumb over the crease above her eyebrow and then let his hand fall to her knee. "I think I have a simple solution to that problem."

When looked at him in expectance, he continued. "I have a guest room that is never used. Never. It could easily be Louis' room."

"Louis' room," she echoed, stunned. His own, permanent room at the loft. This was _big._

"I thought we could decorate it, get him a new bed and stuff, but we could leave it the way it is now. Light blue and beige."

Still offering her a way out. She didn't want a way out, she wanted in, in, in.

"Let's get him his own room," she got out, her smile already stretched wide.

"Next week," he promised, his smile mirroring hers. "Before I leave for the book tour."

"Next week," she seconded and flung her arms around his neck. "Thank you, thank you," she chanted, puncuating each word with a smacking kiss and he laughed while holding her close.

They were really doing this. Slowly but surely.

* * *

Twitter: kbymyside


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

"Castle!" she scolded when another mist of blue paint sprinkled onto her bare arm. "Give me that," she scowled and ripped the paint roller away from him, replacing it with a screw driver instead.

"But I thought you didn't trust me to build your son's bed," he retorted, still pouting over the fact that she'd thought of him as incapable of constructing a simple bed.

"I trust you less to not get any paint in my hair," she replied dryly, pointing to her bare upper arms and left cheek that were covered with dark blue blobs of paint.

"The blue on your cheek is your own fault. Shouldn't have distracted me by bending over and looking for a screw in those tiny shorts of yours."

"Just get the bed constructed, will you?"

It actually flattered her profoundly that after over five months of being together, she still had that effect on him. That he still couldn't keep his fingers off her the moment they were alone, that he still chose to walk behind her only to check out her ass.

Even in this outfit, a baggy t-shirt, some old shorts and her hair in a messy bun, he'd let his gaze linger on her a little longer than probably socially acceptable, considering they were decorating a children's room.

Louis had been delighted by the idea of getting his own room and had wished for it to be space themed, which was right up Castle's alley.

She and Louis had gone shopping for paint and furniture right after they had arrived back from the Hamptons and now they were hurrying to finish the room so that Louis could christen it before Castle had to leave for his next book tour.

They hadn't needed much. A new bed along with bedding and a desk and chair. The room already had a bookshelf and Kate had offered up an old dresser of hers she didn't really need anymore. She had never spent this much money before in one summer, but when she looked around, saw everyone pitching in and working together, saw how much richer her life had become, she found she didn't mind at all.

One wall of the room was going to be a dark blue and Martha, who was quite artsy, had offered to paint a big red rocket onto it and the solar system in the background once the paint had thoroughly dried, and while Castle was piecing together the bed, Alexis and Louis were decorating the bookshelf with glow-in-the-dark stars.

Louis had a nice room at her apartment, but she had to admit, this room was going to be spectacular. The theme was well-wrought and the dark blue was present in almost every piece of furniture. Martha had brought a few knick-knacks from the props department of her theater nobody would miss as she had assured, and now there was a lampion dangling from the ceiling with a moon on it and a deep red lava lamp on his nightstand.

But the lampion with the moon and stars on it was probably her favorite thing in the room. It reminded her of the lanterns they had build when Louis was three, and it was so babyish hanging there in a room that would soon belong to a schoolboy that wouldn't need her much longer.

Castle's voice close to her ear brought her out of her reverie. "Where have you disappeared to?"

She shook her head to get back to reality.

"It's not too big a step, is it?"

She had never lived with a guy before, and she had trusted Castle with the secret that the commitment and responsibility had scared her to death once, but now she was slowly getting there.

"What? Oh no, Castle, no, this is perfect." Her hand reached over her shoulder to give his cheek a reassuring pat and together they stared at the lampion at the ceiling. Sensing he was still waiting for an explanation, she shared her thoughts with him. "Just yesterday it seems I could cover him in kisses and cup his tiny head with one hand and lull him to sleep by pressing his ear against my heart, and now he's too cool to be seen with his mum."

"Ah yes," Castle sighed, his forehead coming to rest on her shoulder. "They're growing up. Don't remind me. Alexis turns nine in less than six weeks. Nine! That's almost the double digits."

He was close to whining - but not the dramatic kind this time, the real and heartbroken kind - and she reached back to scratch a hand through his hair.

"It's not all bad though," she reminded him softly, mindful of the children just outside in the living room decorating picture frames. "You get to have real conversations with her, she can help you cook dinner and she can make you laugh."

"She made me laugh when she ran around in only her diaper or when she wouldn't hold still and I accidently blow-dried her hair into an orange mohawk."

His hands banded around her waist and when she turned her head to look at him, he was pouting and back to being dramatic. Meaning he was fine. She was too. Just wistful. What she wouldn't give to be woken by soft cooing sounds and nonsense babbling once more.

XXX

"I already love my new room so much," Louis told her with a timid lift of his lips when they took a few minutes to rest on the couch after dinner.

The dishes were piling in the sink, the dirty pans still on the stove, but neither of them cared tonight. Getting Louis' room finished had been more work than they'd anticipated. It had been fun at first; taping the edges of the wall to make sure they'd paint in a straight line, sticking the tarp to the floor and making sure it covered everything, applying the paint equally in smooth strokes; she had all done it with painstaking precision, wanting to give her son a perfect room, but after a few hours her arms had tired, the tape slowly peeled off and she'd been so glad when Castle had announced he'd just inserted slot Z and Louis' desk was an exact copy of the one pictured in the instructions. It had meant they were finally finished.

Of course, it wasn't completely finished yet. They had yet to roll out the dark blue plush carpet and they still needed to pick out pictures for his little nightstand, but the bed had already been thoroughly tested by Kate and Louis' eyes had lit up like the glowing stars he and Alexis had stuck onto every wooden surface in his room when he'd seen the rocket on his wall.

He had always been a little shy with Martha - her extravagance had always been a little too much for him - but today, today he'd grinned up at her until she'd hugged him and he'd hugged her back.

They'd finish the room .

But before that, Castle had promised them a surprise.

Alexis was just sauntering back from the bathroom when Castle carried a plastic box into the living room.

He clapped his hands once and cleared his throat, obviously preparing for a big speech while the box sat at his feet. "I thought, in celebration of Louis and Alexis having done so well in school last year and being so good about all the big changes lately and sharing their parent without protesting, and simply being such _good _children, they deserved a reward. And therefore, I have a little something."

He lifted the lid of the box and Alexis gasped in surprise, her little hands flying to her mouth. "Daddy, daddy, is that-?"

"Yes it is," he grinned and threw her something sturdy and black, yet light. Alexis caught it, clutched it to her chest and let out a little shriek of joy. "Look, it's a laser tag vest," she explained when neither Kate nor Louis seemed to get it.

"We've been playing since she was five," Castle added, distributing guns and vests. "But our old guns died around Christmas and we chose to wait for the new models to come out. And they just did."

Louis caught on quickly and fastened the Velcro straps at his sides while Alexis did a few practice shots with her gun.

But Kate put her vest aside and stepped up to Castle, who was putting on his own vest, grinning like a madman. "A reward for the _children_?" she asked with a barely suppressed smile.

"Yeah, well-" he stuttered until he caught up on her thinking. "I've been really good lately, sharing- sharing my, uh-"

"Yes?"

"Sharing my- I deserve an award as well," he finally got out. "I've been really good. Wouldn't you say so?" he asked with that sly grin on his face that told her his mind was in the gutter again.

"Yeah, but good enough for an award of this size?" She let a skeptical look travel the length of his body but then pushed up into him and stole his breath with the fierceness of her kiss. "Go play with the kids and then meet me in the bedroom. Maybe, just maybe, I'll have a reward myself for you."

His face lit up, but fell again. "You're not playing with us?"

"No. You go ahead, you have fun with the children."

He didn't quite understand, but accepted it. He knew she'd tell him why soon enough.

"The rebels shall overrun Voltar," Alexis announced then with a loud victory cry, firing a warning shot before running after Louis to hide.

XXX

Turns out, Kate offered the best rewards.

His skin still sizzled and was hot and flushed everywhere her body pressed up against his.

She wasn't sleeping, just resting her head on his chest and tracing her fingers over his ribs, clearly thinking about something.

"The rebels get you?" she then hummed softly.

"Of course they did," he huffed back. "Alexis is a pro and Louis is learning quickly. They're well attuned."

She gave a noncommittal noise and he tightened his arm around her, asking the question she desperately wanted to be asked. "You're not a fan of laser tag?"

She shook her head. "I know it's just a game, but shooting means something different to me than it does to you. And I could never point a gun at you, not even a plastic gun that shoots beams of light. Never."

She was still tracing patterns on his chest but he got his elbows under himself and jerked upright. "God, Kate, I haven't even thought of it like that, I'm sorry."

She shushed him and eased him back down with a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Nothing to be sorry about," she calmed him. "I've actually shot people before and it's not something I do lightly or because it's the easy way out of a difficult situation. And I have to carry that burden around with me, but that doesn't mean you should suffer because of it. I still want you and the kids to enjoy the game."

He sat up again, he just couldn't help it. He couldn't have a serious conversation lying in his bed with her curled into his side. And her words didn't reassure him at all.

Kate sat up as well and as far as he could see in the dark bedroom, she didn't look upset like he had expected.

"I think it'll be good if there's something only you and the kids share - if you're willing to welcome Louis into your tradition."

"No, yeah, he's already a part of it. I bought four vests."

"I think, laser tag should be something that's yours. Something the three of you can bond over."

"What about you?"

"I'll find something else. Alexis and I already have hair, but I don't know, maybe I'll just start taking them inline skating. I'll find something."

He let out a relieved breath. Laser tag was something that was important to him. And Alexis. He'd have hated to have to change their rituals. He would have done it of course - or compromised to make both of his girls happy - but this was so much better. "I promised them we'd play until one of us has ten points, and then, when school starts, we'll reset. So this is just a warm-up for the real battle."

Oh, he was excited. The children were at an advantage because they were small, but there were also two of them, and they needed to communicate, which increased the likelihood of him catching them whispering or messing up.

"Speaking of school," Kate sighed as she got under the covers again and curled up on her side. "I can't wait till we have the loft to ourselves again in the mornings."

"You mean, until you can have your wicked way with me whenever you like," he grinned back.

"Yeah exactly that. No need to lock doors or to always have clothes within reach."

"Three and a half weeks, babe, three and a half weeks."

"Not your babe," she huffed and slapped his bare chest, but there was no force behind it. Now that everything was off her chest, she was fading quickly. "And you're gone for two of those three and a half weeks."

It's the closest she had ever come to whining.

"Yeah, but I'll be close. Just a state or two away. Although, I don't suppose you'd be willing to-"

"No, Castle, sorry. Really can't afford to take any more vacation days."

He hadn't thought she'd actually do it. He wasn't disappointed, he understood.

"Just think of how great it'll be when Alexis and I return. School will start, I'll have epic laser tag battles with them, you'll take them inline skating, and we'll celebrate Alexis' birthday."

"It'll be great," Kate agreed sleepily and he felt her slowly drifting off.

This fall was going to be great.

* * *

Twitter: kbymyside

I promise the next chapter will be up quicker! Thank you again for your patience and lovely reviews.


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

"You that desperate to go in?" Castle mused when Kate stared at her phone for the fifth time in as many minutes. "Thought you liked it when we have to loft to ourselves in the morning."

Kate glanced up from the bowl of grapes in front of her, looking caught. "Can't be late again for a body drop," she mumbled, avoiding his eyes.

It was a Thursday in late August and the kids had been back to school for over a week. When Kate didn't have to be in early, she was usually already waiting for him when he came back from dropping them off, and in their zealousness they may have not heard her phone once or twice. While she hated him when she saw she had three missed calls from the boys, she was the one to initiate the exact same thing the next morning.

But not today. Today, she was off. Hadn't even been up to snuggling in bed.

"We can do something else. Go out for breakfast? Maybe have more than just a handful of grapes?" He eyed the half-full bowl in front of her and she scowled at him in return. She hated when he criticized her eating manners, he hated when her diet consisted of caffeine, fruit and nothing much else.

"Don't you have some writing to do?" she asked flippantly and he pushed off the kitchen counter.

She was probably on her period again. He'd never dare say it out loud but she could be so petulant sometimes. He should probably mark the date in his calendar or something and try to avoid that time of the month. Would be better for everyone.

And now he was grumpy and being plain mean.

But he still didn't write. He should; Gina wanted an outline of his next book soon but he just didn't feel like it right now. He'd do it tonight.

For now he grabbed a book and settled on the leather couch in his office; see what his rival authors had been up to lately.

He'd usually interrogate them over their weekly poker game, but all of them were always busy over the summer, so he hadn't met up with them in a while. But he'd invite them over again in September, after Alexis' birthday, when everything had settled.

He'd been reading for about an hour when she slinked into the room. He could see her leaning against the door frame from the corner of his eye and let her believe he hadn't noticed her. She always scolded him for staring at her, but she did it too.

At last, she sat down on the arm of the couch and threaded her hands through his hair, massaging his scalp.

He had meant to make her work for it, but when the first words tumbled out of her mouth, he closed the book and turned to her.

"It's my dad's birthday."

She kept up the ministrations of her hand. It seemed to sooth them both.

"I always mean to call. But I can never bring myself to do it."

He knew so little about her dad. She spoke to him last when she was twenty-two and Louis eighteen months. Almost exactly five years ago.

"Every Christmas I talk to his sister, Theresa, and she keeps me in the loop. Not that I ask for it but she's just one to gossip and she can really make your ears bleed." She let out a small huff and then looked at him with something akin to pride in her eyes. "Did you know he's been sober for the past two and a half years? He struggled those first few years, but he did it."

"Two and a half years?" he gasped. "That's good Kate, that's really good."

A small smile flirted with her lips. "Yeah. Aunt Theresa said he needed that wake-up call when I left."

Her teeth clamped over her lower lip then and she ducked her head, playing with his fingers that had flown to her thigh in excitement.

"You saved him, Kate. _You_ did that."

"But at what cost?" She shook her head sadly and continued without waiting for an answer. "Anyway, every year I mean to call him, but every time I just... I don't know. I can't do it."

"Do you think he might call you one day?" he asked carefully as Kate sniffled once.

"I told him not to. Told him to stay out of our lives for good. He- He always respected what I said. Mom was the nosy one, the one who would come into my room even though I told her not to, or the one who snuck up on me when I brought a boy home. Dad was always the one who gave me space. Sometimes I think he might, but I think he's waiting for me. He knows that I know that he's sober and back on track, and he's just waiting for me."

"You know you have every right in the world to wait until you're ready, right? No one's pressuring you or going to hold it against you when it takes you another five years."

She nodded then and he rubbed his thumb over her patella.

"I thought, maybe with you by my side, I could..." She trailed off but her eyes told him everything he needed to know.

"Yes, of course, Kate. By your side. Always by your side."

Her fingers brushed through his hair again and even though her eyes were a little red, she was smiling.

Just then her phone sounded in the kitchen and Kate slid off the couch with a small huff. He watched her leave the office and rubbed a hand over his face. This day had just taken a 180-degree turn.

"Castle, I have to go in," Kate called from the kitchen and he met her by the front door to see her off.

"How about mac 'n' cheese for dinner? I'll even make you the greasy kind," he offered with a wink. She hated the one he liked, the one with the gourmet cheese and the stewed onions and the fresh cream. She wanted the cheep and greasy kind from the package with fried onions on top.

"Deal." She slipped into her heels, grabbed her purse from the closet, and brushed her lips quickly over his. "See you tonight. Love you."

"Love you too," he called after her and waited until the elevator doors closed before he locked his own door, only to fall back against it with a thump.

XXX

"It can't be that bad," he coaxed but Louis remained stubborn and shook his head.

"He wouldn't even tell me," Alexis piped up from her spot on the couch where she was watching cartoons.

"It is bad," Louis insisted and drummed his feet against one leg of the barstool he was sitting on. "She's gonna be so angry."

"She won't be angry," Castle promised. "Everyone gets bad grades once in a while. I did too."

"He got kicked out of a lot ofschool because of his bad grades." Alexis again.

"And look where I am now!" he boasted, and okay, maybe this was encouraging having bad grades, not motivating the children to study harder.

"Really?" Louis asked. "You had bad grades as well?"

"You don't have _bad grades_," Castle corrected. "You have one bad grade. And you still haven't told me how bad it is."

With a sigh, Louis got off his barstool and pulled a piece of paper from his backpack. "Ms. Chad said she wanted us to read over the summer and told us the name of a book we should buy, and she told us there would be a quiz after summer break, and she even said it multiple times but I for-forgot to tell mom," the boy hiccuped, his nose running already. "I made some stuff up and tried to write really nice, but look!" He thrust the sheet at Castle and his jaw dropped when he saw the red D in the upper right corner. Who gives a second grader a D?!

"It's really bad isn't it? Mommy is going to hate me for forgetting," he moaned and Castle bent down to catch him around the waist and sat him on a kitchen counter.

"First of all, it's completely normal to forget something once in a while. And second, it's really good that you didn't lose hope when you saw all these questions and made stuff up. That means you tried. You tried to make the best out a bad situation and your mom's going to be very proud of you for that."

Louis wiped at his eyes and leaned his head against Castle's shoulder, staring at the offending grade. "I'm not good at English and now my first grade of the year is a D. I won't be able to make a B by the end of second grade."

"You will," Castle reassured. "You're so good at spelling - look, only two spelling mistake in this quiz - you'll be able to fix your grade. If it looks really bad after the first semester, we can always talk to your teacher and ask her what you can do."

Louis sighed deeply, nowhere close to tears anymore, and Castle ran a hand through his hair. "You're a smart boy, Louis."

He acknowledged the compliment with a small smile and hopped off the counter. "When is mom going to be home?"

Castle checked the clock on the oven. "She said she'd be home for dinner, so an hour and a half?"

XXX

When Kate called at seven - an hour after they usually had dinner - to tell them she had to work late and couldn't make it, Louis was restless.

He'd picked apart his mac 'n' cheese, drunk too hastily and dropped his fork on the floor.

"I really want to tell mom about the quiz," he said quietly when Castle stacked the dish washer and cleaned the kitchen. "I don't feel so good keeping it from her. She always wants to know important school stuff immediately."

"You could call her," Castle offered and Louis looked down at his socks.

"Can we go see her? I really want to see her."

Castle kept from sighing. There's no way the children would be in bed by eight thirty when they went to see Kate at the Precinct now. But on the other hand, Louis had such a guilty conscience that even Alexis hadn't wanted to play with him.

"Alright, go get dressed. And tell Alexis to do the same."

Louis scuttled off and Castle took the plate with Kate's mac 'n' cheese and transferred the noodles into a plastic container. She had for sure skipped lunch and hadn't yet had dinner.

"We're going to the Precinct?" Alexis called down the stairs.

"Louis wants to tell Kate about the quiz and we're bringing her dinner."

"But what about school tomorrow? We'll be tired if we go to bed late."

Alexis, always the responsible one. "We're not going to stay long, I promise."

She seemed happy enough with that answer and skipped down the stairs in her colorfully layered purple skirt.

"I've never been at a police station," Alexis said in the car. "What's it like there?"

"My mom's is really old. The air conditioning is always broken and it's all grey and brown and worn-down, but I know everyone. Like Javi and Kevin. They're my mom's partners. And I can show you where they keep the criminals," he grinned but Alexis didn't seem too enthusiastic about that.

They had to walk a few blocks because Castle couldn't get a parking spot right in front of the Precinct (a man could hope), and when the desk sergeant called her, Kate met them in the lobby.

"Hey, what are you guys doing here?" she asked with a wide smile. She was playing it up for the children, but Castle saw the lines around her tired eyes.

"We brought you dinner," he smiled and showed her the plastic container. "The greasy kind."

"Oh, thank you," she breathed and reached for the box, clutching the cold meal tightly. She looked a little better then, and how could she not? Louis and Alexis were sweet as ever, radiating happiness. At least in Alexis' case.

"And Louis has something to tell you," Castle went on and gave the boy an encouraging nod.

"Don't be mad mom, but I forgot to do something over summer break and our teacher had us take a quiz on it and I did really bad." Louis hung his head when he handed his mother the quiz and Kate let out a small gasp when she saw the grade. She looked at him for help and he leaned close, brushing his lips over her ear. "Taken care of," he murmured, hoping she'd understand that he'd already talked to the boy and he felt guilty enough as it was.

Kate brushed her hand over his arm once before addressing Louis. "I'm not happy about the grade, Louis, but I'm not mad. I know that you'll work hard on your English homework this year and whatever the assignment was, I expect you to make it up."

"I know," he whispered, his eyes filled with tears, and then he lunged forward to bury his face in Kate's stomach. "I'm really sorry mom, I didn't mean to forget. And I really wanted to tell you before bed."

And even though he forgot, and received a bad grade, Kate was proud of him. Proud for not trying to hide the grade and coming straight to them. She held him close for a moment longer, and blew Castle a kiss over the boy's head.

XXX

He woke to gentle fingers feathering over his cheeks and forehead.

The arm of the small leather couch in his office was hard under his neck and he let out a strangled groan when he tried to shift.

He was getting too old for falling asleep while writing.

"Sorry I fell asleep here," he apologized, looking down at Kate kneeling in front of the couch. He had no idea what time it was or when she had come home.

"It's okay," she promised and he could make out her wan smile in the fair moonlight streaming in through the windows.

He blinked twice, his hand finding her cheek and his fingertips combing through the hair above her ear while he tried to gather the strength to push off the uncomfortable leather and slip into bed with her.

Tiny damp curls twined around his fingers and when his thumb brushed below her eye he felt the grit of tiny salt crystals on her skin.

Shit. She'd been crying while he was out here asleep.

He shot into a sitting position and held his arms out for her.

Kate curled into his side, her knees against his hipbone, her forehead resting against his neck and swallowed heavily while he wrapped her in his arms.

He held her until her jaw stopped working against his shoulder and the tension started to drain out of her.

"Kate," he murmured, playing with the tips of her hair, his other hand curling around her thigh.

"I don't know what to do," she rasped, her voice scratchy from sleep and crying and fighting against more tears.

"Your dad?"

"I miss him so much, Castle," she pressed out, her eyes tightly shut. "But it's me. It's me, I'm the reason I can't call him. I made a mistake, not him."

"I'm not sure I understand," he admitted gently and Kate leaned back, wiping her nose with a finger.

"Every day for eighteen months I brought him Louis. I took out the trash when I left with him at night. And I didn't notice he was drinking?"

"I'm sure he hid it very well."

She shook her head. "No, Castle. I think I noticed. I noticed the empty beer bottles in the trash, the redness on his neck he always got when he drank. But I- I just-" She broke off here, tilting her head towards the ceiling. Always trying to be strong and not giving into weakness.

"I remember thinking I don't have time for this, too."

Her quiet admission shocked him. He knew it had never been easy for her, but he didn't think he understood just _how_ difficult it must have been, how down and out she had been. Until now. The pain of that was still there, a dark thing deep inside her chest.

"There was Louis, my job, _losing my mom_, and I was barely keeping my head above the water and-"

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, Kate. Look at what you've accomplished, look at the live you've built for you and your son. I'm _proud _of you."

"You're not supposed to be proud of me," Kate howled, her fist thumping hard against his chest. "You're supposed to tell me I'm a horrible mother for leaving my baby son with my father who was slowly turning into an alcoholic! You're supposed to hate me for being selfish and failing my dad."

"Hey!" Castle interrupted, angry now. "You were not failing your dad. He was failing you."

Never one to completely lose control, she took a deep breath. "We were failing each other," she admitted in a moment of clarity; before the anger rose once again. "And look how it blew up in our faces! You should have seen him Castle, should have seen Louis. Crying and screaming in his playpen, his diaper leaking and ruining his outfit while my dad was drunk and couldn't get his dinner prepared and didn't see the urgency."

Her arms slipped around his chest and he let her cry. Nothing he said or did would make this better. He'd known that everything had been fine until one day Jim had been completely drunk and irresponsible, but he'd never known the magnitude of it. She'd upbraid herself for this for the rest of her life. He hoped one day she could see that she did not fail her role as mother.

"I always thought I couldn't call him because I could never trust him again, and while that is partially true, it's me who I can't trust. What if I ignore the signs again? With anyone?"

"By your side, remember?" he breathed into her hair, holding her tight. "I won't let you ignore them."

"But what if it's about you? And I miss the signs?"

"You won't miss them. You know me so well, you could never miss them. And you're in a good place now, right? You weren't then."

A smile found it's way through the tears. "I'm in a very good place. Not right now, right now I'm blubbering like a three-year-old-" she let out a wry chuckle and he squeezed her shoulder in retaliation, "- but generally speaking I'm as happy as I've ever been."

"It shines right out of you, you know? You're always beautiful, but when you're happy, there's no comparison to it."

"Way to make me cry again, Castle."

He laughed softly against her ear and she reached up to pinch his biceps before getting serious again.

"Rick, I-I really miss my dad and it's just not right to deprive Louis of his only family. But I don't think I can do it alone."

She didn't look at him and he didn't think he could handle it if she did. They have come so far over the past few months and there's no explaining as to how _vital_ she's become to him. His chest is tight with her pain and he doesn't want to see the vulnerable hurt in her eyes.

"We'll do it together. All of it. Whenever you're ready."

"We have a family cabin near a lake in the Adirondacks. Dad has always wanted to catch a Musky. The season is open until the end of November, so he usually spends all the weekends in the fall up there. I thought we could just drive by one weekend, see if we're lucky and he's there? If not, I could show you where little Katie spent her summers."

"Yeah, totally. We can leave the kids with my mother and test the waters."

She smirked at him playfully and he waggled his eyebrows. "Smart, huh? Going to a lake to test the waters?"

"Terrible," she disagreed on a choked laugh but pressed a kiss to his shoulder. "Sometime after Alexis' birthday?" she suggested and he nodded eagerly.

"One question though, what's a Musky? Nessie's little brother?"

"Sorry, no loch monsters in our lake. It's a Muskellunge, a pretty large fish. And tasty, too. But they put up a hell of a fight."

"So it's pretty rustic up there?"

"Yep," Kate smirked, patting his chest. "Better dress warmly in case the fire wood gets wet again."

Despite her playfulness, she let him see that vulnerability once more, and he rocked her for a long time until they were finally ready to go to bed.

* * *

How many hours left? Happy Castle Monday everyone!

Twitter: kbymyside


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

"Kate," he whined when she opened the door to him late on Tuesday night. "She's too expectant, I can't get her cake right. I used to be her hero when it came to birthday cakes but after tomorrow I think that'll change."

His blue eyes were dark pools of regret and defeat and she allowed him in despite the late hour.

She was already in her PJs and Castle let out an appreciative whistle when he noticed that her sleep shirt was an old t-shirt of his. "Looking good in my clothes, babe," he grinned and she turned on her heel and snagged his ear. "What did I tell you about pet names, _babe_?"

"It slipped out, it slipped out," he quickly defended himself. "It's late and I'm tired."

"So am I," she replied, releasing his ear. "So, let's make this quick. What's up with Alexis' cake?"

"Nothing quick about it, I'm afraid," Castle grumbled. "She wants a rainbow cake but one with fruit. And mother said something negative about food coloring so now I can't use any." He was back to whining.

Kate groaned and rubbed a hand over face. This was going to be a long night. The third one in a row. "You got the ingredients? I might have an idea."

He dumped the plastic bag he'd been carrying on her kitchen counter and got everything out. "I brought flour, white chocolate, raspberries, blueberries, blackberries and a stick of butter. You have more right? And eggs? Because I used mine up with the last two attempts."

"Yeah, I got butter and eggs and sugar. And I actually have an idea."

"You do?" Castle exhaled and his shoulders slumped in relief. Nobody wants to disappoint their child on their birthday.

"I do. Can I trust you to melt the white chocolate without burning it?"

He gave her a sheepish smile. "Maybe you should do it. I'll get started on the batter."

She hated melting white chocolate. It burned easily and her kitchen didn't have any windows. Nevertheless, she grabbed a pot, filled it with water and then placed the small bowl with the chocolate on it once it boiled. She kept stirring and adjusting the heat and at last, it was liquid.

"White chocolate is the best kind," Castle grinned around two of his fingers and Kate slapped his wrist with the spoon she retrieved from a drawer. "Eat the one I didn't melt," she chided and poured the chocolate into the cake batter while Castle came up behind her to peer over her shoulder. "And give me some space to work."

"What if I don't want to give you space?" he husked and yanked her hips back into his. "What if I want to peel you out of my t-shirt and take that can of whipped cream I brought to bed with us?" He nipped at her earlobe and her traitorous erupted in goose bumps. He had her. And her voice was hoarse with lust already. "Did you really bring whip cream?"

"No," he admitted. "But I still want to peel you out of that shirt."

"Better be fast Castle, we still have a cake to bake."

XXX

They'd been fast, alright. And oh so good. She had always enjoyed being in control, but it was even more spectacular with a partner like Castle, who knew when to trust her to get them both to the finish line and not try to take over.

And while he was still in too much of a daze to get out of bed, she was already back in the kitchen washing the berries.

She poured equal amounts of cake batter into four different bowls and put the berries in the blender one by one.

The loud noise of the blender finally got Castle out of bed and he came into the kitchen just in time to see her mixing the blended raspberries with one portion of the batter, turning it a deep red.

"Can you check if Louis woke?" she asked, hesitating to put the blueberries into the blender.

But Louis was asleep and ten minutes later, they had a bowl of red batter, a bowl of blue batter and a bowl of purple batter.

"Wow, this is amazing," Castle cheered and pressed a kiss to her temple.

"It's just three colors though. Some green would be nice, don't you think?"

"Do you have anything green?"

"I have spinach," she offered. "Or carrots."

"You want to put _spinach _into a birthday cake?" Castle almost screeched.

"It's not like they're going to taste it with the amounts of white chocolate in there."

"No spinach! It's bad enough that there's fruit in this cake."

Kate shook her head at him in disapproval. While she at least tried to teach her kid something about eating healthy, Castle steered clear of anything that was good for the human body. Luckily, where that's concerned, Alexis did not come after him.

"We could mix it with cocoa though, do you have some of that?"

She would have preferred the carrots over cocoa, but it was his cake.

In the end, they had four different colors.

"Do you want to stack them?" Kate asked, greasing a cake-pan.

"Or we could pour them it at the same time, make a pattern of some sort. Or maybe even write her name!"

"Hold your horses, Picasso. We only have one try and we can't mess it up."

"Okay then, let's go for a pattern. We could try going in half circles and blending the colors somehow?"

"Sounds good," Kate agreed and grabbed two of the bowls while Castle did the same.

Working as one, they went back and forth and poured, even attempting some swirls with the batter. In the end, their cake looked very artistic and colorful - almost too beautiful to eat.

"It looks amazing. Wonder woman you," Castle complimented and nudged her hip with his.

"Yeah, now all you have to do is stay awake and bake it," she grinned teasingly. It was just past one in the morning and they both would need to get up before seven to get the kids ready for school.

"Wha-What?" came his disappointed reply while she was already sauntering off in the direction of her bedroom, smirking at him over her shoulder.

"Just be quiet when you finally make it to bed, will you?"

He woke her with wandering hands and teasing lips.

XXX

"My cake is so beautiful," Alexis got out, her hands flying to her cheeks upon her first glance of her birthday cake.

"A beautiful cake for a beautiful girl," Martha agreed and Castle's chest puffed out in pride.

"Thank you. Took me all night."

When Kate nudged him in the ribs, he bit back a wince and added, "Kate helped me with it."

"_Helped_?" she hissed under her breath and raised an eyebrow at him. He'd been at a complete loss before she'd saved him with her brilliant idea.

"You wanted to add spinach," Castle accused just as quietly, but their little banter didn't go unnoticed by Martha who smirked at them over the rim of her tea cup.

Alexis impatiently tapped her new shoes against the hardwood flooring, ready to blow out the nine candles. The red Mary Janes had been a gift from her mother and she'd practically skipped to school in them; the color and glossy finish and golden buckle a complete mismatch to her green checkered school uniform. But she hadn't cared. They were a gift from her mother and she loved them.

Meredith hadn't been able to make it, but that had been clear from the very beginning, so Alexis wasn't too disappointed. From what Kate had heard, Meredith had been truly sorry about not being able to come and the card she'd enclosed with the shoes was very heartfelt.

The rest of Alexis' presents were still waiting to be opened, but they were all hungry, so the cake came first.

"Blow the candles out, darling. Before the wax drips on the exquisite cake," Martha warned, and when Alexis had everyone's attention, she stood from her chair, inhaled deeply, and then puffed out her cheeks to tackle all nine candles at once.

Everyone applauded and Alexis sat back with flushed cheeks and a brilliant smile.

Louis helped to rid the cake of the candles and Castle carefully cut it into pieces, handing Alexis the first one. It was just the five of them today, the actual birthday party was on the weekend.

The cake tasted excellent. You couldn't quite distinguish between the different fruit but it tasted sinfully like white chocolate, and even Martha had a second helping.

"This is a good cake, mommy," Louis complimented, licking his fork clean. "You should bake more often."

"Yeah, you should," Castle agreed, his eyes darkening. "Baking with you is a lot of _fun_."

Kate took a sip of her water but it did nothing keep the heat from flooding her cheeks. She loved when they went slow and loved each other thoroughly, but when they had to be quick, really quick, and his broad body pressed her into the mattress and he left marks on her collarbone without meaning to and she had to press her open mouth to his shoulder to smother her cries-

"Hey babe, where'd you go?" Castle asked with that cocky grin of his and her foot found his shin under the table. He was playing a dangerous game and he knew it.

"Can I open my presents now?" Alexis interrupted and you really couldn't blame her. Some of them were huge.

They moved to the couch and Kate was just close enough to Castle to let her fingers graze high over his thigh, causing him to stumble while she was as put together as ever.

He glared at her but she only shrugged her shoulders and sat down on one side of the couch to watch Alexis reach for the first gift on the coffee table.

The girl unwrapped each gift painstakingly slow; she pulled of the ribbon band, slipped a finger under each piece of tape and then discarded the wrapping paper with the utmost care.

"She'll use the wrapping paper and ribbon band to do handicrafts," Martha explained with a pained smile. "I keep telling her, I'd bring her all kinds of fun stuff from the theater, but she wants to re-use it."

"Can I help you with that?" Louis asked from his spot on the couch. His legs were jiggling from anticipation but Alexis only shook her head.

And so the lengthy process of gift unwrapping continued.

Kate had to suppress a yawn by the time Alexis reached for her gift. Louis would have torn through that pile within minutes.

Had she known that Alexis read the card first, she would have written neater. But at last, Alexis turned to her and smiled widely. Then she unwrapped it and nearly jumped into her lap, clutching the jewelry case to her chest. "It's so pretty, Kate, thank you, thank you," Alexis chanted and Kate pressed a smacking kiss to her forehead.

"Actually, Louis has something that goes along with it."

Louis picked up two smaller presents from the coffee table and was a little timid when he handed them to Alexis. "I picked them out myself," he told her and Alexis thanked him.

The first gift turned out to be a silver bracelet with a handful of charms on it, and the second one was a hair bow.

"There's a place for hair bows, look-" Louis reached for the lady bug shaped jewelry case and pushed the wings to the side, opening it. And at the very bottom, next to the ring holder, was a compartment with a bow painted in it. Alexis placed her new hair bow inside it and Louis showed her the swivel drawers that were the wings of the ladybug. "That's where you can put the bracelet." But Alexis asked Kate to put it on for her.

Then, the girl crawled into her father's lap, opening the last - and biggest gift. It revealed to be the satchel she had wanted so badly and she refused to leave it at the loft when they went out for dinner.

XXX

She was hot, so hot, and pushed at Castle's arm with a groan where it was slung across her stomach. Her legs were trapped by his thigh and his face was smashed into her chest.

The man was using her as a human teddy bear and while she was not only hot, she also couldn't move, and the side of her breast hurt from where he was digging his chin in.

"Get off me, Castle," she grunted but he only held on tighter.

"'M not feeling so well Kate."

"You'll feel even worse when I tweak your ear," she threatened and Castle reluctantly eased his hold on her.

"Something was wrong with that Mexican food," he whined as he rolled on his back, holding his stomach.

"Or maybe it was that piece of cake I saw you stuffing your face with before bed," Kate retorted but she could see the way Castle's eyebrows were pinched together. "You feeling sick?" she asked, rolling on her stomach to see better.

"Don't think I'm going to throw up. Just a stomach ache."

He wasn't whining anymore, and it had her sitting up in bed and turning on the lamp on her bedside table. He looked a little pale and a thin sheen of sweat was coating his forehead. The stomach ache was either really bad or he was having a fever.

A touch to his forehead told her it was not the latter and she got out of bed to make him a cup of tea. She didn't normally have a lot of sympathy with sick men, most of them were malingering anyway, but when she returned and saw that he was clutching his stomach and completely tensed up, she placed the cup of tea on his nightstand and sat down next to him.

"Tea is cooling on the nightstand," she told him, scratching her fingers through his hair. "Anything else I can get you?"

"You," he replied, and was quick to clarify when she arched her brow. "Your warmth will make it all better. If you'd only let me snuggle up-"

"Nice try, Castle. Not happening." She was okay with spooning from time to time, but she absolutely hated being restricted. It was his game to lure her into cuddling whenever he could.

"But I'm sick," he whined in protest, pulling the corners of his mouth down. Anyone else might have been thinking that he was playing it up, but after only a few months of being with him, she already knew that he really was in pain.

"I'll bring you a warm cherry pit pillow, okay?"

"'S not the same!" he called after her but he was sitting up and leaning against the headboard when she came back with the warm pillow and holding his hands out for it.

It took a few minutes for the warmth to relax his cramping stomach muscles, and she sat down next to him, holding the pillow in place and circling her thumb over his stomach while he slowly sipped his tea. She let her head drop to his shoulder and he sighed when he closed his eyes and touched his cheek to it.

She thought they both may have fallen asleep because when she jerked her eyes open, his empty tea cup was sitting on the mattress and the cherry pit pillow was cold.

Hating to wake him, she scratched her fingers through his hair again and whispered his name. He woke easily and she murmured an apology, but he placed the empty cup on the nightstand and slid down the bed.

"Want me to warm the pillow again?"

"Would you?" he asked, drowsy and timid and adorable.

The clock on the oven said it was just after four and when she handed Castle the warm pillow and crawled into bed, she brushed her lips over his cheek and whispered, "Sleep in tomorrow. I'll take the kids to school."

He closed his eyes in relieved response, and turned on his side, facing her.

"Stay on your side," she warned him one last time, but when she awoke two and a half hours later, his arm was draped across her chest and his nose buried in her shoulder. She couldn't turn her head without bumping into his hard skull and her left arm had fallen asleep at some point during the night, but she would give him this.

If he needed this, she would give it to him.


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

Getting up this morning had been a real struggle. He normally enjoyed getting up with everyone and preparing breakfasts and lunches, but today, he wished he would have been able to sleep in. Just so it'd be almost time to pick up the children by the time he woke up; just so that he didn't run out of excuses to keep his laptop turned off.

Gina was expecting the first three chapters of his newest _Storm_ book next weekend, but he simply didn't have an idea for the guy. Storm had already done everything, been in every possible situation, had gone rogue and cheated death so many times that Castle simply didn't know what to do with him for the next book.

Castle had always been like that; stalling, stalling, stalling until the last possible moment, but he'd always at least had an idea for the book and had been able to binge-write a handful of chapters the days before the deadline. This time, though, he was in serious trouble.

What's more, he barely had _time_ to write or do research. Whenever he was out of ideas, he combed the internet for something interesting - a real case in the news, a prankster video on Youtube, an interview with a war veteran, and something would spark his creativity; but this time, he was too busy to do so. Most days he had to take care of two children instead of just one, and while he loved having Louis here, two bored children were worse than one. And at a certain point, after he'd assisted them with their homework and hidden the remote control for the TV, they'd morph into little trouble makers.

Just like now. "Alexis!" he called for the second time. The thumping in the living room stopped for a brief moment. "I'm trying to work, can you guys tone it down a little, please?"

"Okay, daddy!"

He went back to the interview he'd been watching, scribbling random things that struck him as interesting on a notepad—but when he had to replay one part of the interview for the second time because the reporter was mumbling and the thumping had picked up again, he had had enough.

The door to his office slammed against the bookcases and his heavy footsteps must have alerted the kids, because they were both sitting on the floor, skipping ropes hidden behind their backs, and looking up at him with wide eyes.

"Alexis, what have I told you about rope skipping in the living room? We have neighbors. Do you want the people upstairs trampling on your head all day?"

Alexis shook her head, but he needed to vent. It was not the children's fault that he currently sucked at his job and that everyone told him to 'just write,' and 'you're lucky, you have such an easy job, where all you have to do is sit down and make something up,' but he found it impossible to stop himself. "And how many times have I told you that you're supposed to do something quiet when I'm writing?" he went on, and Alexis hung her head, her bottom lip already quivering. It wasn't often that he raised his voice.

"We wanted to watch TV," she defended herself quietly. "But you didn't want to give us the remotes."

"If those are the only options - skipping rope in the living room and watching TV - then something in this household has to change. What happened to playing Legos or reading or playing board games?" Sometimes he's afraid that he spoiled his daughter too much, that he hadn't said 'no' too often when raising her and she wasn't able to appreciate the simplest things anymore.

It was then that the front door of the loft opened and Louis scrambled off the floor and flung himself into his mother's arms, clinging to her.

"Hey, what's going on here?" Kate asked, holding her son to her side and looking down at Alexis, who was still sitting on the floor with tears glinting in her lashes.

"Rick is mad at us," Louis ground out, looking at the floor in discomfort.

"I'm not mad," Castle corrected, his voice less stern now. But Alexis got up and sought Kate's comfort, too. And that stung.

"Daddy needs to write," Alexis explained. "And Louis and I are bored."

"And so you started skipping?" Kate asked, taking in the two ropes on the floor.

"I was skipping," Alexis admitted. "Louis wanted to tie the rope to the stairs and a chair and balance on it."

"You what?" both adults called out at the same time, looking at the boy who was now hiding his face in Kate's stomach.

Castle hadn't even known that.

"Louis, what were you thinking?" Kate asked, but he refused to look at her.

"It sounded cool when he explained what he wanted to do," Alexis piped up, taking the focus off Louis for a second.

"But Louis, you don't use the stairs and a chair. Why didn't you ask Rick for help?"

"Because he wanted to write! And we were bored."

Where Castle felt anger before, he felt nausea now. The things that could have happened-

"Kate," he started, wanting to apologize for being so careless, but she cut him off with a shake of her head. "How about I take you two to the park and we get dinner on our way home? And then we'll discuss what happened this afternoon?"

"Are you mad, too?" Louis asked and Kate brushed his bangs away from his face.

"I'm not mad. Rick isn't mad either. But we still need to talk about this. What you did was very dangerous."

Both children nodded their heads and mumbled apologies, but Kate sent them upstairs to change.

When it was just the two of them left in the living room, Castle swallowed heavily. Would she accuse him of being a careless father?

"What's going on with you lately?" she asked softly, coming closer and brushing a hand over his biceps. "You have been distracted."

"I'm just having some trouble writing. But Kate, I swear, I didn't know- I came out here twice and they weren't tying any ropes to chair legs."

"You couldn't see them through the bookshelves?"

"Not when they're sitting on the floor. And usually they do stupid stuff when it's quiet, but they were making noise all the time. And I needed to concentrate and write. I'm so behind, and I-"

"You don't need to justify yourself to me, Rick," she murmured, stroking his jaw with a finger from the hand on his shoulder. "But we need to have a talk as well tonight."

He gulped. "That sounds serious."

"It is serious," she agreed. "But it's not bad, I promise."

The children came down the stairs, wrapping scarves around their necks to protect them from the cool September wind.

Kate brushed a quick kiss against his lips, before she turned around and picked up her purse she had dropped earlier. "Love you."

"Love you, daddy," Alexis called from the door, chipper again, and he helped her with the zipper of her coat before he saw them off.

XXX

"Look what would have happened if you'd tried to balance on the rope." Kate gave the rope between the stairs and the chair a tug, and the chair toppled forward.

"But if I asked Alexis to sit on it?"

"No Louis, absolutely no. It's still too dangerous. You could have slipped off the rope and hit your head on the metal of the staircase. And then you would have needed stitches."

"I hate hospitals," Louis whispered, his face pale. "Okay, it was a bad idea. I'll never try it again."

"Come find one of us, if you want to try something new again, okay?" Castle asked, addressing both children. "Even when we say we're busy. We'd rather you interrupt us than having to drive one of you to the E.R."

"We just got excited, daddy," Alexis said, holding his hand and looking up at him. The children had both been fine during dinner, maybe a little tired from playing outside, and neither of them had mentioned the events of the afternoon, but they couldn't get away like that. They had both apologized and knew what they had done was wrong, but for Castle it was important to show them _why_.

"And I understand that, Pumpkin. But please try to think about the risks of something first next time."

"I will," Alexis promised and Louis nodded his head as well.

He caught Kate's gaze and the look she gave him told him that she thought the children had been vituperated enough. He thought so, too. They had apologized multiple times and knew the risks; there was no point in over-doing it.

"That's all we ask for," Kate said and invited Alexis in for a group hug.

"And we'll also find a solution for your bad case of boredom when I have to write," Castle supplied, and then Alexis wriggled out from Kate's hold and hugged him hard instead.

They finished off the evening with card games and while that meant he was still not getting any writing done, family time mattered more. Louis had been uncertain about him all evening, but when they built a team and decided to beat the girls, he'd unbent again.

He'd even gotten a good-night hug from the boy. Where he and Alexis were affectionate and loved openly, the Becketts were more reserved. They didn't love less—just didn't show it as much, and a hug from Louis or a kiss from Kate would never be "just" a hug or "just" a kiss.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" he asked Kate when they retreated to their bedroom later that night. He was still slightly nervous about that. Talking. When Kate _wanted _to talk, it was something serious.

"How far behind are you on your book?" she asked instead, and he momentarily paused in collecting his dirty clothes and throwing them in the hamper.

"My deadline for the first three chapters is a week from today."

"And how much have you already written?" She was leaning against the headboard, and only her knotted fingers gave away how uncomfortable this talk made her. She had promised she would work on opening up and talking to him, but that didn't mean it was easy for her.

He waved his hand through the air, looking for the words to paraphrase the complete emptiness of his word document, but when he was met with her steely gaze, he came out with it. "I don't even have an outline yet. I mean, I sent Gina one, but it was crap."

"Castle!" she gasped and got off the bed. "Are you telling me you have absolutely nothing?"

She sounded so horrified that he averted his eyes in shame. Nobody knew how hard it really was to get the words right, and yes, he may be gifted but it's still hard work. Only no one seemed to realize that.

"Why didn't you tell me you had trouble writing?"

"It's not unusual. You know I like to stall. And it's not like I didn't _try_. But every time I got the creative juices flowing again, I needed to be somewhere or entertain someone." It came out as an accusation even though he didn't mean it that way. He loved what he did. Spending so much time at home and playing with the children.

"Is that what happened today? You had to write?"

"Yes, but Kate-"

"No, shh. They're children, big children, and they shouldn't need supervision twenty-four seven and they will do stupid things. You prevented it. But it can't go on like this."

"What do you mean?"

"You're taking care of both our children and your work is suffering. Whereas my work is blooming. It's not fair. You never have time to fully focus on your work because at the back of your mind, you're always thinking about when you have to pick them up from school, or when you have to wake them up for school or that you still have to cook dinner."

"But Kate," he protested, "I like doing that. I love getting up with you in the mornings and cooking meals and watching stupid movies."

"But Castle, you also love to write. And I want to make sure you have enough time for that."

"What do you suggest?"

"How about I'll come and get the children for one night a week? I'll cook them dinner and take them to school the next morning and you have time to write." She must have sensed his hesitance because she curled her fingers around his elbow and stepped even closer. "Look, Ryan just made Detective and he's still proving himself. He'll be happy to have a bigger work load. I'll just pull an all-nighter once a month and do his paperwork and we're even."

"But that means we get less Kate and Rick Time. With two children, we already have so little time just to ourselves."

"We'll have even less Kate and Rick Time if Gina keeps breathing down your neck like that. We'll just make the most of the time we do have."

"You know, you're pretty great," he said then, smiling down at her as the corners of her mouth lifted.

"Do we have a deal?" she asked and he nodded. She was right; he missed writing.

XXX

"We still don't know what to do about your lack of inspiration," she said some time later when they lay sated and flushed in their bed.

"You always inspire me plenty," he retorted with a leer and let his gaze roam the naked skin of her back and side where the haphazardly retrieved blanket didn't cover her fully.

"I'm serious, Castle," she replied and snapped her fingers to get his attention.

"Oh, me too." His touch along her spine was feather-light and she shivered visibly, still sensitive from their previous round. "You could help me with your access to case files."

"'M not letting you follow me around," she mumbled into her pillow and his head flew up. He hadn't even thought of that.

"Kate! That's brilliant! I could shadow you and gain insight into all of your coolest cases! Just for a few days." When she didn't reply, he changed tactics and lowered his mouth to her ear. "How cool would that be? You and me, partners in every sense of the word."

"As flattering as that sounds, I work for the NYPD and you write about the life of a rogue CIA Agent. Doesn't really match up, does it?"

"You don't sound very delighted," Castle pointed out and bit back a laugh. She was so damn serious about her work, but why was she so against it? All he wanted to do was sit in an interrogation, maybe read some reports and get a feeling for the place. It's not like he hadn't done it before.

"I'm not. And you're not following me around at work."

"Maybe I should just drop by then one day." He had barely spoken the words before Kate already had his ear in a firm grip.

"If you do that, it's more than just your ear you'll have to worry about."

"But Ka-ate," he whined, giving her his best puppy dog eyes, now that she had both her eyes open and was glaring at him. "It would really, really help. I _need_ this. Or else the book will be a flop. And we wouldn't want that, would we? I mean, just imagine; me, moping around all day long, whining about book reviews, desperate for affection."

Her eyes widened slightly in horror and the grip on his ear loosened a little but her voice remained stern. "No, Castle. Once and for all, no."

She had already softened a little and he wasn't going to give up now. Just a little more and he'd have her. "I bet I could persuade you," he said as his fingers started gliding along her collarbones before dipping beneath the sheets.

"You can try all you want, you're staying home."

"We'll see." He smirked, and his mouth began its descent down her body while she rolled her eyes at his smugness. Very soon though, they'd be rolling for a different reason.

And he'll be going to the Precinct.

* * *

Twitter: kbymyside

Very special thanks to anonymous033, without whom this chapter would have been a huge disaster.


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

"You sure you want me to come inside?"

"You'd rather stay in the car? In the cold?" Kate tried to joke, but it fell flat. Her hands were gripping the steering wheel tightly as they sat in the car in front of a wooden cabin in upstate New York.

He couldn't see a lake and Kate's car was the only one in the driveway, which-according to Kate-could mean that her father was at the store down the road or fishing at a bigger lake nearby.

"I just don't want it to look like an ambush," Castle hedged. "He doesn't even know of me. Maybe it's too much."

"I still don't really know what to say to him."

That was Beckett Code for 'don't make me do this alone' and as close to saying she needed him as it would get at the moment. Or ever actually. The moments where she vocally admitted she needed him were so very rare. She was better at expressing herself through looks and gestures, like reaching for his hand or cuddling close when he wasn't paying attention. He used to take these gestures for granted; barely noticed that their shoulders suddenly brushed when they were watching a movie, or the one time where he met her and a few others from the 12th for lunch during a hard case and she kept squeezing his thigh and he didn't know what it meant. But now he does; these gestures are tiny distress signals signalizing she's in need of support or comfort. It took him a while to figure it out, but now that he has, they work together better than ever before. They're in sync. And he doesn't need her to voice her need for him, he knows it's there.

"Let's go then," he said and opened the car door, the icy October wind of the mountains hitting his cheeks.

It was scarily silent when they stepped onto the wooden porch and he couldn't help but look around and search the forest behind them for yellow eyes staring back at him. He had been to the catacombs in Paris, had gone caving in South America, and come across more snakes than he could count in South-East Asia, but this little wooden cabin in the mountains, where the fog hung low and the forest was dark, gave him the creeps.

Kate was still rifling through the keys on her keychain and he stepped closer, pointing to a small bronze one. "Try this one," he whispered.

"Already did, wasn't the right one," she replied. "And why are you whispering?"

"It feels like we're breaking in," he said, his voice still not much more than a low murmur. "And like we're being watched. Are there bears up here?"

"I have a key; ergo, we're not breaking in. And all you have to worry about up here are coyotes." With that, she opened the door to the cabin and stepped inside, leaving Castle out there looking over his shoulder.

"You're kidding, right?" he hissed as he stepped in after her.

"Maybe," Kate smirked. "Maybe not." But then she flicked on the light and sobered. They were standing in a large living area with a small, open kitchen attached to it. Off to their right was a hallway with what he assumed were doors leading to bed- and bathrooms.

The fireplace was unlit and the kitchen spare of dirty dishes. "I don't think he's here," Castle said and Kate nodded. "Let me show you around then."

It was cool in the cabin and they left their coats and shoes on.

"Everything is still the same," Kate murmured as she let her gaze sweep over the old flower-print couch and the pictures on the walls. "Oh my God," she grinned as she noticed the picture directly over the fireplace. "Castle, come look at this."

He stepped up behind her and let out a small laugh. What he saw were pigtails, a toothless grin and a purple bathing suit with ruffles around the waist. Kate was sitting on a deck, her toes barely reaching the water as she grinned at the camera. "You looked so cherubic. I didn't know you could pull that off." That earned him an elbow to the ribs and a disbelieving huff, but he was already looking at the next picture on the wall.

"I'll have you know, I was a very well-behaved child." When she followed his gaze, she smiled softly. "I didn't know he'd hung that up."

The picture showed her sitting in a rocking chair, looking over Louis' shoulder. The boy had his fist stuffed in his mouth and was standing on Kate's thighs. Her fingers were thinner than he had ever seen them where they held onto Louis' hips, and the circles beneath her eyes were highlighted by the pale complexion of her face. But her smile was a radiant thing and her eyes shone with it.

"Wow," Castle breathed. "You were young. I forget that sometimes."

"Twenty-one in that picture."

"And already stunning."

"There's nothing stunning about baby throw up on your shoulder and spit in your hair," she laughed, but the pink tinge of her cheeks didn't escape him.

They were so lost in bickering about 'Little Katie Beckett' that they almost didn't hear the creak of old wood.

"Coyote!" Castle squeaked, and out of habit, Kate placed herself in front of him and reached for the gun on her left hip that wasn't there. "Coyotes don't open doors," she hissed and turned to face the dark hallway that led to the bedrooms, where the creak had originally come from. "And they don't need to come through the back door."

Just then, an elderly man stepped under the bright lamps of the living area, leaned a fishing rod against the wall and set down a heavy ice box.

He startled hard when Castle moved and reached for the fishing rod to defend himself, but paused when he recognized Kate.

"Katie," he croaked, but she seemed frozen. "Katie," he repeated. "Are you- Is Louis- And who's-?" the man stammered, eyes wide when he saw Castle standing behind his daughter. Something like recognition crossed his features, but it was immediately replaced by shock.

He looked pale and was reaching for the wall to support him, and it seemed to spur Kate into action. "We're fine, dad," she squawked, her voice thick with emotion. "And this is Rick, Rick Castle."

Castle stepped forward with his hand outstretched and Jim pushed himself off the wall with a grunt, accepting his handshake. "Sir," Castle greeted, trying for a smile. It was hard to stay neutral when he'd had Kate cry into his shoulder about the hurt her father had caused her, but she was ready to give him another chance and Castle would put his best foot forward to not hinder that process. He was still wary of the older man, but it wasn't his place to judge him.

"I'm- I'm a little confused, Katie. What-?"

"I'm sorry that we just showed up like that, dad. But I- It's been so long, and-" She broke off there, knotting her hands together and looking at Castle for help.

But before he could help her along, the sharp click of tiny nails galloping on wood could be heard. Confused, Kate and Castle stared at the dark hallway behind Jim, and seconds later, a dachshund appeared. The tiny dog with the foxy red coat scurried through the living room and sat up in front of Kate, paws against her knee.

"You got a dog?" Kate exclaimed, immediately dropping down to scratch the animal behind the ears. The dog didn't keep still though, and went to sniff Castle's ankle, and then Kate's coat, and then followed some trail through the living room with its tail whipping.

"That's Lulu," Jim replied, scratching his head in discomfiture when the dog picked up its pace, looking so very eager. "Was actually looking for a big dog that would enjoy being in the woods. Like a shepherd or a Bernese or Swiss Mountain Dog. They didn't have any of those at the shelter and Lulu just kept staring at me with those sad brown eyes. All I wanted was to play with her for a few minutes, but she followed me everywhere, and- Yeah, I adopted her. A dachshund's supposed to be smart, this one's-" he broke off with a sigh just as the dog dropped onto the worn rug in front of the fireplace, rolled over and started to paw at the air.

"For what it's worth," Kate said as she bent down again to beckon the dog, "I think she's adorable."

The dog shook Kate's hand off and wandered over to Castle, pleading. He crouched to pet her and caught Kate's gaze. She was watching him, smiling a tiny little and looking composed again. In control.

Jim then cleared his throat and Kate turned back around to him. "I thought it was time we talked, dad."

"Okay," Jim rasped before clearing his throat again. "Let's talk. But let's take this somewhere more comfortable." Jim sank down on the old couch and Kate sat on the coffee table in front of him. Castle lingered on the side. He wanted to be there for Kate, he _was_ there for her, but sitting next to her, towering over her poor father who still looked like he might pass out any minute? That seemed a little unnecessary-and Jim didn't even know him, it was so not his place.

Kate turned her head and saw him standing there, totally out of place. "Could you make us some tea, Castle? And put the ice box in the freezer?"

He'd only be in the kitchen, able to hear every word Kate and her father said, but he was also giving them the illusion of privacy.

"I'm sorry, where are my manners," Jim said, sitting up. "Have you had breakfast yet? It's so early. I only drove out here a few hours ago, I haven't even come round to lighting the fireplace-"

"It's fine, dad," Kate gentled and Castle went about stowing the ice box away and boiling water. Finally, he had something to do.

"So, what did you, uhm, want to talk about, Katie?"

"Everything," she replied. "I hate how things are between us and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to reach out to you, but, dad I-"

"You don't have to apologize, Katie. I should be the one to apologize. What I did was unforgivable. And what you did that day, was the bravest thing you've ever done. I'm so proud of you."

Castle heard Kate sniffle once and he was already pushing off the counter, but then she straightened her spine. "You don't have to apologize either, dad. It was unfair of me to dump all this responsibility on you when you were clearly struggling. You were so selfless, retiring early to take care of my son, and I feel like I just threw in your face."

"You're forgetting, Katie, your son is also my grandson. And I don't regret a single minute I spent with him. He is the single best thing that happened me since-"

No clarification was needed for this and his gaze was automatically drawn to the pictures of Johanna Beckett on the walls. The older Beckett's eyes were filling with tears, but he gave Kate a smile that teemed with gratitude and pride, and the moment felt so intimate that Castle turned back to the now lukewarm cups of tea on the counter.

When he peeked over his shoulder a few minutes later, Jim and Kate were holding each other tightly, and he thought he heard her say, "I missed you so much, dad."

"I know I've lost all right to ask anything of you Katie, but I would do anything to be a part of your life-your lives, actually, again. And I'll do anything to earn your forgiveness and regain your trust."

"I think I forgave you a long time ago," Kate murmured. "And you know, I talked to Aunt Theresa a few times; I'm really proud of you. But there's still a lot of things we need to talk about and I think Louis shouldn't just yet see you again. I don't want there to be any tension between us when he is around."

Jim looked defeated, but also proud. Kate would do anything to protect her son. "Anything, Katie. Slow and steady."

"And if you really want to be a part of our lives," Kate continued, "You should meet Castle. Properly."

Castle pretended he hadn't heard them at all and started spooning sugar he found into one of the cups, looking like it required all of his focus, but Kate only huffed out a breath of laughter and he knew she was rolling her eyes at him behind his back. "Castle."

"What?" he asked, blinking innocently, but then gave up all pretenses and met Jim Beckett with measured steps. The conversation he just overheard made it harder for him to dislike the man. He seemed genuinely torn up and desperate to have his daughter back in his life, in whatever form.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Beckett."

"Likewise. But please call me Jim."

Castle took place next to Kate on the coffee table, their thighs grazing. When he looked at her-really looked at her-her eyes were a little more moist than usual but she was glowing.

Her hand found the crook of his elbow and it left no question for Jim as to what role Castle played in his daughter's life.

"How- how's Louis?" Jim asked after assessing the situation.

"Louis is great. He is doing really, really well. And he's grown so much. You should see how much he looks like mom."

Castle turned his head to stare at Kate. She had never mentioned anything of the like.

"The eyes," Kate explained, looking at him. "He has mom's brown eyes. And the straight brown hair? That's also hers."

"Where did you get your chameleon eyes from then? And those curls?"

"Nobody knows," Kate grinned. "For the longest time I thought I was adopted. But I'm not. I'm my dad's girl." Kate covered Jim's hand on his knee and he gave her a tender smile.

Kate smiled back, but then Jim dislodged her hand and stood up. "She may have inherited my pig-headedness, but the temper is her mother's. Now, who wants breakfast?"

XXX

It was afternoon and they were standing on the dock, looking at the small lake behind the cabin. The fog had cleared and Castle now thought of the silence as beautiful.

They had had a great day with Jim. Everyone had been very cautious with what they said and there had been a lot of tip-toeing around, but Jim had shared stories of a younger Kate, and some of Louis, and to Castle's relief hadn't demanded to know anything about him. He'd been afraid the older Beckett would corner him in a quiet moment, ask him about his intentions and threaten him to never hurt his daughter. Castle wouldn't have been comfortable with that and wasn't able to predict his reaction to such a situation. Things had gone fine today, Jim and Kate had talked some more, but that hadn't earned Jim the right to play the protective father back yet.

"You're quiet," Kate observed.

"So are you," he retorted and nudged her elbow with his.

"You first," she asked.

"I was just thinking about how your father is making it very hard for me to be mad at him."

"You want to be mad at my dad?"

"I will never understand how- how-" He was fumbling for the right words.

"How I wasn't enough?"

Startled, he looked back at her. She looked him straight in the eye. "Don't put it so crass," he croaked. "He loves you."

"He just loves my mom more," she reasoned, but he corrected her. "Differently. He loved her differently."

"It doesn't matter. Not anymore. We are moving past this. And all that matters now, is that he is back in my life and that I love you. I love you so much, Richard Castle."

"C'mere."

She came willingly into his arms and his fingers threaded through her thick curls as he kissed her and gave her everything he had. She was shorter than him without her heels and the angle was just perfect.

His tongue stroked deep and he devoured her on a wooden dock in front of a mountain lake. So cliché. But so perfect.

When they broke apart, her cheeks were pink from more than just the cold.

"Now you," he said after regaining his breath. She didn't understand and he clarified, "What were you thinking about?"

"Just how perfect my life is right now."

He pulled her back to him with a growl and this kiss was more aggressive. She clung to him, nipped at his bottom lip and absolutely devastated his mouth with her wicked wicked tongue. There was no space left between them and when he felt her leg snake around his calf, he had to gentle her and, at last, pull away.

"Kiss me like that again, and I'll have to drag you into the woods."

"Where the coyotes are?" she asked, still a little breathless and feverish looking.

"I'd fight half a dozen of them if it meant I'd get you."

"Only half a dozen? Wow, you're working real hard for sex here, Mr. Castle," she replied, her voice thick with sarcasm.

"You would of course fight the other half. You don't need someone to protect you. You need someone to fight alongside with you. A partner." He just gets her.

Whatever retort she had prepared, it died on her lips. Instead, tears welled up in her eyes, and he caught her as she flung herself into his arms. "So much, Rick. I love you so much."

"I love you, too, Kate," he breathed against her ear as he held her tight.

XXX

"This is _different_," he said as he took in the room. The walls were purple, the twin bed covered with pillows that had butterflies on them, and there were stickers of horses on the dresser.

"Shut up, Castle. I was twelve when I redecorated the last time, and afterwards I was too cool to come up here with my parents. And when I did start to come up here again, I had Louis and was too busy."

"There's always the couch," Jim offered from the hallway and Kate glared at him. Over the course of the evening the two had gotten yet a little closer and Castle slowly started to see the fatherly side of Jim shine through.

But before Kate could reply, something on the nightstand caught his eye. "Oh my- Kate!" he exclaimed and rushed forward, picking up the book. "This is- this is a first edition. Of my earlier books. How- Why- Kate?" He knew she was a fan and he'd teased her about the few books of his she had at her apartment, but this book was at least ten years old and it looked worn and often-read.

"Oh, you didn't know?" Jim was smirking now as he leaned against the door frame. "Johanna had all of them and then Katie started reading them as well."

"Dad!" Kate hissed, but it was no good. "She'd lie on the dock for hours, totally engrossed. Johanna used to tease her about 'her new boyfriend' when she caught her staring at your picture on the book jacket again. 'Ruggedly handsome' is what I believe they dubbed you."

Kate looked like she wanted the earth to swallow her up, but Castle's face split into the largest grin. "'Ruggedly handsome', huh?"

"One more word, and you're really sleeping on the couch."

"Oh but Kate," he groused, still grinning madly. "This is great news. So much material to torture you with."

"And that would be my cue to leave," Jim cut in, looking mostly amused but his ears were a little pink. It was a new situation for all of them and they had yet to figure out the other party's comfort zones. "Shout if you two need anything. Spare toothbrushes are under sink and I put out some extra towels and sheets."

"We'll manage, dad, thanks."

They hadn't planned to stay the night. But Jim had caught so much fish today and after not seeing her father for years, Kate hadn't been entirely willing to leave yet, so they had decided to spend the night.

They had given Martha a call to check if she could watch the children for the night, and in return, if the children were okay with staying with Martha overnight, but Louis and Alexis had both promised that they were not babies anymore.

So they were staying in Kate's old bedroom. With the tiny twin bed.

Oh, he'd be sneaking a lot of cuddles tonight.

When Castle returned from the bathroom, Kate had changed the sheets and he stripped down to his boxers and waited for her to finish in the bathroom. Only when he lied down in the bed, did he realize just how narrow it was. Or rather, how bulky he was. Maybe he should really sleep on the couch in the living room. Or drive home tonight. He'd offered to drive back, spend the night with the children and return to pick Kate up tomorrow afternoon, ensure she got enough time with her dad to talk things through, but she had wanted none of it.

And when she stepped into the dimly lit room, closed the door behind her, shed her sweater and bra and slid out of her jeans, he didn't want to leave anymore.

He'd teased her about the books earlier and thought she would take vengeance for it by forbidding him to touch or sleeping on the very edge of the bed, but she came straight into his arms and coiled her body around his.

Even with them so close together it was a tight fit and he found himself shifting, trying to find a position where she had enough space and he didn't have to fear tumbling out of the bed during the night.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Just tired," she murmured. "Eventful day."

"Eventful good or eventful bad?"

"Good. Very good. I missed my dad so much. And I think I forgave him a long time ago. It was just hurt and fear, and maybe pride, keeping me from reaching out to him."

"You needed to be sure. You couldn't let yourself get hurt again."

"No. It would have pulled me under. But it wouldn't now."

She started pressing kisses to his jaw and he reached for the hand resting on his sternum and pressed a kiss to its palm. He wasn't used to Kate being so tender and open and sharing things so easily. He hoped she would keep doing it.

XXX

Even though they'd said they wouldn't do this-not in her childhood bed with her father sleeping in the next room-he awoke when she slid her knee over his thighs and started trailing kisses over his chest. She seemed restless and jumbled, and his body was still too drowsy to keep up with her wandering hands and lips and teeth.

She had probably been up for some time already, lost in thought.

"Need you, Castle," she pressed out, when his hands started to reach for her hips, skimming down his body and letting her fingers flirt with the waistband of his boxers.

He wanted to roll her under him, love and worship her thoroughly but judging by the way she looked at him, she had other plans. Nothing about this would be tender and controlled.

In all honesty, he had expected this; a relapse from her happiness last night. He'd known that, in the dark of night, she would lie awake and be powerless against the doubts creeping back in. Just like the nights before. But unlike last night, where the nervousness about meeting Jim had almost eaten her alive, this time, he could do something about it.

XXX

The sun had started to rise and he could see her face clearly in the low light.

Her incisors had left indentations beneath her lower lip from where she'd tried to keep from shouting, and his thumb traced them over and over until she swatted tiredly at his hand. "Stop it."

"You gonna fall asleep on me, now that you've woken me up?" he teased. He was wide awake and Kate was slumbering almost completely on top of him.

"You love me," she sighed as way of explanation and he grinned, stretched his head up and pressed a kiss to the top of her head before shimmying out from under her.

"Where're you going?" she mumbled as he rearranged the covers around her.

"Sleep Kate, I'll take a walk."

His clothes from the previous day were mostly neatly arranged over the back of a chair; he only had to go look for his boxers-which he found at the end of the bed.

He tried to avoid the creaking floorboards and stepped out into the ice cold morning. Lulu, who slept in front of the fireplace in the living room, crept around his legs with her tail wagging, but he wasn't sure she'd stay close if he took her with him. So he went alone.

It was barely after six and it was foggy and cold, but he could feel the weak rays of the sun on his skin. It was nice.

He circled around the cabin to the lake and stood on the dock while the sun rose over the mountains in the background. Jim's old truck had been parked behind the cabin, which is why they hadn't seen it yesterday, and it only added to the scenery.

It wasn't long until he was joined by Kate's father. He was carrying a fishing rod and a can of worms and Lulu was running along the lake, nose on the ground, tail pointing in the air.

"Mr. Beckett." Castle was startled out of his thoughts. "I didn't wake you, did I?"

"Jim," he corrected before continuing, "And don't worry, I'm an early riser. I like the serenity of a cold fall morning by the lake." He began preparing his fishing rod and Castle took a step back. "I'll just go and see if Kate's awake yet or I could start on breakfast for everyone?"

"Oh, no, I didn't mean to chase you away. You could join me. Lulu's off chasing mice and fish aren't necessarily great company."

Somehow that sounded more like a request than an offer, so Castle sat down on the cold planks of the dock next to Jim.

Castle watched in silence as Jim finished preparing the fishing rod, making sure the fishing line was correctly attached and the worm was safely on the hook before he cast it.

They were quiet until Jim spoke up. "How has my daughter really been?" He sounded hesitant and Castle couldn't decide whether it was because Jim had to ask him-basically a stranger-about his daughter, or because he was scared of the answer.

"I've only known Kate for about a year. When I first met her, she was doing okay. She was really busy with work and taking care of Louis, and I don't think she went out much, but over the past year, she's changed so much. To the better."

"Changed how?"

Castle took a minute to think about a good example. He didn't want to share too much. He started to liked Jim, but he didn't really know him, and Kate was deciding on the pacing here, he didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable in any way. "You know how she never took any time off work, went in early and brought work back home with her?"

Jim nodded.

"Yeah, she doesn't do that anymore. She comes home in time for dinner and she spends her off-days at the park with us and lets me treat her to dinner. Of course, sometimes she still has to stay late, or go in early or bring paperwork home, but she doesn't _want_ that anymore. She's really living her life now."

"And home is?" Jim asked, so very shy that Castle's heart stuttered in his chest. He couldn't imagine being so estranged from his daughter that he didn't even know where she lived anymore.

"She has her own apartment. But Louis has a room in my loft in SoHo. I hope she'll fully move in soon. And then I'll ask her to marry me." He was stating it as a fact, not asking for a blessing or permission. There is somebody else he has to ask, though. Apart from Kate, obviously.

"It's funny," Jim murmured next to him. "I never thought I'd see Katie be in love again. I always thought that was something Johanna had taken with her."

"It wasn't easy," Castle admitted with a small smile which Jim returned. So much wisdom and knowledge in his eyes.

"Katie's a spitfire."

"She's worth it."

"You're a good man, Richard Castle. And Katie's been in love with you for far longer than a year."

"What do you mean?" Castle asked, brows furrowed. They had only met a year ago, how could she have loved him before that?

"It's a story I think Katie should tell you herself."

There was nothing more to say after this then, and when Castle shifted for the umpteenth time because he had lost all feeling in his butt, Jim chuckled. "I don't think the fish are biting today. Katie's told me you make a killer cup of coffee, how 'bout you make us some while I drive by the store down the road and get some fresh bread?"

Castle was just happy he could go inside.

It was after seven and Kate was still asleep. He sat on the bed and stroked her bare shoulder, waiting for her to come to. "Morning, babe. You sleep okay?"

She nodded and rubbed at her eyes. "Why're you wakin' me? 'S early."

"Your dad just went to buy some fresh bread and I thought you maybe wanted to talk?"

"'Bout what?"

"About what made you ravish me last night?" Castle chuckled and stroked her hair back from her face. While Kate thought sex solved all their problems, he usually insisted they still talk about it the next day.

"Nothing to talk about. Honestly. I was just tired and that tiny nugget of doubt started growing and everything worked itself into a frenzy that just kinda crashed over me. But it's all good now."

"I'm glad," he whispered and leaned down to press a kiss to the corner of her mouth. "And feel free to use me anytime you like when you have trouble sleeping again."

"I didn't bite you too hard, did I?" she asked, worrying her bottom lip and looking him over. She liked to be vocal when she was worked up, but had had to restrain herself last night.

"I may have some fingernail-shaped bruises on my shoulder, but it's nothing you can't kiss better."

Kate let out a sleepy laugh and sat up. "You said dad went to the store? Gives us forty minutes. Wanna join me in the shower? I'll be sure to kiss more than just your bruises."

She threw him a saucy wink and Castle watched in amazement how she got out of bed and picked up her clothes, totally put together.

As he sat and watched her, there was an idea forming in his head. He couldn't pinpoint what it was exactly, but over the course of the last day, over the course of watching Kate go from nervous to forgiving to being a daughter to sharing stories of her childhood to being confused and totally in control of herself a few hours later, something had been brewing up in the center of his imagination. The idea was almost palpable, and he knew, as soon as it was, he'd be inseparable from his laptop.

He couldn't wait to go to the Precinct with her. He had a feeling that seeing her in action would make the idea come to life.

* * *

Happy Halloween!

Thank you for the lovely reviews &amp; special shout-out to LF for leaving such a sweet one! Had me smiling all day.

As a reminder, I'm not a native speaker and bound to make mistakes. Point them out to me and I'll be sure to avoid them in the future.


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

He was on her the minute she stepped through the front door of the loft, Louis in tow.

"And? What's the new case? Is it gruesome?"

The excitement radiated off him in waves but Kate only glared at him. Her seven year old son did not need to be confronted with this.

Castle gave her an apologetic look. "Hey Louis, how was school?"

"I did really well in P.E. today. We played baseball. And I think I grew!"

Castle held out his hand and Louis high-fived him with a loud smack. "See? I told ya."

"One day I'll be taller than you," Louis grinned and Castle rumpled up his hair, resisting the urge to give him a smacking kiss on the cheek. "Sounds about right."

He caught Kate's relieved expression over the boy's head. Louis' frustration over his height had troubled her immensely and while she had tried to make it better, she had remained unsuccessful.

After Louis had had tears in his eyes when she'd picked him up from school last week, Castle had grabbed the bull by the horns and shared something with the boy he'd never shared with anyone else before: he, too, had always been the smallest, and had even been picked on for it in school. Until he'd had a growth spurt and everyone had to look up at him.

It was their little secret now; not even Kate knew. And every time Louis felt down again, they talked, played ball in the park, and watched superhero movies.

"Alexis is upstairs by the way, repairing your _Lego_ town."

Hurriedly, Louis ran off. He and Alexis had been working on a huge city, complete with supermarkets, a hospital, family homes and of course a police station. Their town was his pride and joy at the moment, and just a few mornings ago, Kate had found Louis crying into his cereal bowl. While glaring at her father, Alexis had explained that Castle had tripped over a building of some sort and crushed it. The damage was extensive and the children were still working on re-building their town.

"Okay, so, case?"

"Hello to you, too," Kate retorted stonily and gave him a disapproving look. It had been a long day with a frustrating case and all she wanted to do was curl up on the couch, watch a movie and not think about tomorrow where she'd have to go back to work.

"Hello," Castle grinned and grabbed her face, peppering small, rushed kisses on every patch of skin he could find, his nose almost poking her eye when he kissed the soft skin beneath it.

"Okay, thank you." She pushed him away when his lips smacked forcefully against the corner of her eye, and trailed a finger over the skin around her eye as if to make sure it's not broken.

"Case?" he asked again, his expression the one of a hopeful little boy and Kate dropped onto the couch with a groan, burying her face in her hands.

"You're not gonna let this go, are you?"

"Nope," he grinned and plopped down next to her, waiting eagerly for her recitation of her day. He'd been doing that ever since she promised him he could shadow her for one day. Since she'd only given him one day, he'd been eagerly waiting for a gruesome case, a terrifyingly weird case or one with a spy, so he could make the most of his day. "I mean, it took me long enough to convince you."

"You didn't convince me," she argued, glaring a little. "You blackmailed me."

"No, no, no," Castle protested, waggling a finger and grinning. "I asked you. I distinctly remember asking you 'Can I come to the Precinct with you?' and the blanket over my head did little to muffle your shouts of 'Yes, yes-'"

He clamped a hand over his ear before her vicious fingers could twist it. Mad now, Kate pinched the sensitive skin beneath his ribcage.

"One more word, Richard Castle, and I'm going to show you what a holding cell looks like. From the inside."

She was full-on glaring this time and he felt bad for it, but couldn't she see how badly he needed that? These past few weeks had driven him crazy; the inspiration was there, the story was forming as well, he just couldn't - access it yet. As stupid as that sounded, his brain had always worked a little differently, and currently it was like there was a wall between him and the idea, and he knew, one crucial moment, as superficial as it may seem to an outsider, could knock that wall down and he'd be inseparable from his laptop.

"Please?" he asked, gentler this time, and Kate scraped a hand through her hair and leaned back on a sigh.

"Feed me food, and I'll feed you details."

"You haven't eaten yet?" It was afternoon already.

"Louis and I had sandwiches. But I need to go back in later and won't have time to eat. So early dinner it is."

"You mind having leftovers? I still have some of yesterday's lasagna."

"Sounds perfect." After a beat she added, "You know, Castle, I understand that you are waiting for a "special" case, but it's not like on TV. Cases in real life are not that exciting and you'll be grey and wrinkly before we have one with a spy or a voodoo master."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying, you should just come to the Precinct with me tomorrow. It's also highly plausible that a case that falls into your category of 'interesting' will bring another jurisdiction on board and they won't tolerate your presence."

He hadn't even thought of that. "Maybe you're right," he conceded just as the microwave pinged, signaling Kate's lasagna was heated.

"And you said it would help you to just be in a Precinct," she reminded him. "So just come in with me tomorrow. I'll be back some time during the night, but I'll get up with you at seven tomorrow and we could walk the children to school together and then go to the 12th for the day."

He sat down on the couch, handing her the warm plate and mulling over the suggestion. "Okay. Okay, I'll come to the Precinct with you tomorrow." He stroked a hand beneath her low ponytail, twisting a strand of it around his finger, but she shrugged him off, balancing a piece of lasagna on her fork. "You doing alright otherwise?"

"Yeah," she sighed. "Just stressed. And dad called this morning."

"What did he say?"

"Just that he's really glad we came to see him last weekend and- He likes you."

"He does?" he asked, relief flooding his system. He hadn't even known he'd been anxious about Jim's opinion of him, but judging by how light he felt all of a sudden, he had been.

"He's never liked a guy I brought home before; I think that says a lot. Oh, and he wants to meet me for lunch sometime next week."

"You gonna see him?"

"I've asked Ryan and Espo to cover for me a lot lately and the Cap is starting to notice, so I'll have to work more this month. And probably next. I really have to reimburse the boys somehow, but I'll try to squeeze him in."

She had just finished the last of her lasagna when Alexis came down the stairs. "Kate!" she shouted and landed gracelessly on the couch, throwing her arms around Kate's neck.

"Hey Lex," she greeted. "Sorry I didn't come up to say hello."

"She just couldn't resist the lasagna you made last night," Castle chimed in, flicking Alexis' thigh to get her attention.

"You made the lasagna?" Kate asked the girl, winking at Castle.

"Yep," Alexis nodded. "I cut the zucchini and poured the sauce over every layer of noodles."

"That must have been why it was so good-because you supervised your dad."

Alexis giggled into her neck and fully climbed into her lap while Castle pretended to pout. Kate reached over to squeeze his knee and then he banded his arms around Kate and Alexis, shouting "Group hug!" He pulled on them, and they were heavy, and Alexis' knee was sharp against his ribs, and Kate's elbow was trying to pierce a hole through his thigh, and he was sure, Kate had just smudged her mouth on his shirt and left a stain, but everyone was laughing and it was music to his ears.

He held his girls close, just breathing with them for a while, uncomfortable as it was. And then Louis traipsed down the stairs, and Castle made some space for him. Louis squeezed his head between him and Kate, laying it on Alexis' thigh and grinned up at them, one of his legs hanging awkwardly off the couch.

Alexis was laughing, shaking with it, and it dislodged Louis' head so it lolled against Castle's stomach, and then Louis' warm breath tickled him and he had to smother his own laugh in Kate's hair.

Only when all his limbs had fallen asleep, did they start to separate. A lot of joints popped and legs had to be massaged back to life, but when Kate kissed all of them goodbye and gathered her purse, she looked happier. Freer.

XXX

The next morning, Castle was preparing breakfast in the kitchen, whistling. He'd woken up around five, unable to sleep any longer and had showered and then dressed in his carefully chosen outfit: a pair of jeans, a periwinkle dress shirt and a dark blue suit jacket.

Last weekend, after his return from the cabin, he had modeled several outfits for Alexis-who had feared to die of boredom-but this was important to him. He wanted to look sharp but still somewhat casual, and he had promised to be on his best behavior today.

"Good morning," he greeted cheerily when Kate's alarm finally went off and she stumbled into the kitchen for her first coffee fix. She had only gotten in a few hours ago.

He handed her a cup and a plate with scrambled eggs on it. "Made you breakfast."

"Thanks. Are the kids awake yet?"

"Nope, but I'll go and wake them now."

He went into Louis' room and pulled the curtains aside, letting the early morning sun stream through the closed window.

"Wakey, wakey Louis," he sing-songed and sat down on the edge of the boy's bed, shaking his shoulders softly.

Louis blinked up at him before dropping his head back onto his pillow with a groan.

Knowing he was awake and only needed a few more minutes to get out of bed, Castle went to wake Alexis.

He knew by the stiff way she was lying, a hand strategically placed over her mouth and not moving a muscle, that she was awake already.

"I know you're awake, Pumpkin," he chanted and crept closer to her face, breathing on it and just waiting for the corners of her mouth to betray her.

"Get up now, or do I need to tickle you out of bed?"

When she didn't move, he slowly trailed a finger down her ear and along neck where she was the most ticklish.

Alexis' eyes flew open and she rolled away from him with a shriek. "No, daddy, please don't!"

Castle relented and pressed a kiss to her forehead before checking up on Louis again. The boy was still in bed, but at least he had kicked off his blanket and seemed a little more awake. "Come on buddy, out of bed with you, mommy and I need to go to work."

_Mommy and I need to go to work. _The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them, but boy did he like the sound of them.

Louis gave him a funny look but then smiled broadly and trudged out into the kitchen to eat his own breakfast.

The rest of the morning went by smoothly; they drove the children to school and had just parked Kate's Crown Vic in the parking garage beneath the Precinct.

"And remember, Castle, professional behavior," Kate reminded him again while they waited on the elevator.

"I'm nothing but a professional," he replied with confidence but belied his words by letting his left hand graze her ass.

She swatted his hand away and shot him a glare. "Castle! I mean it!"

"Fine, I'll be good."

When they arrived on the Homicide floor, there was a respectable distance between them and Castle had a notebook clutched to his chest.

"Yo Castle, what are you doing here?" Esposito greeted him and got out of his chair to bump fists with him.

"I'm shadowing _Detective Beckett _for the day." He opened his notebook and showed him and Ryan the blank first page. "Need some inspiration."

"Welcome to the team, bro," Espo congratulated and Ryan too gave him a back slap. He was one of them for today. How cool is that?

XXX

Apparently, not cool at all. Kate had showed him the murder board and the long list of suspects whose alibis she was currently checking. Meaning, she was hunched over the keyboard of her computer, pulling up confidential data he wasn't allowed to see.

They couldn't even pick up a suspect together because he hadn't signed any wavers and therefore wasn't allowed to ride shotgun. Ryan and Esposito had made a show of holstering their guns, and had practically waved their car key in Castle's face until Kate told them to go or she'd pick up their suspect on her own, leaving them to babysit Castle.

The detectives had rushed to the elevator and he was left in his chair next to Kate's desk, twiddling his thumbs.

He didn't know what he'd expected, but this certainly wasn't it. This was lame. He let out another disappointed sigh and Kate looked up from her paperwork. "What's the matter, Castle? Real police work not interesting enough for you?"

She was smirking, not hiding the fact that she was making fun of him, and he pulled out his still mostly empty notebook, pouting a little. He hadn't expected it to be like that one time he got to follow a CIA agent around, but he had hoped for a little more action.

Three minutes and five heavy sighs later, Kate was on the verge of lunacy. "Come on, Castle, I'll show you something fun." She got out of her chair, grabbed something from Ryan's desk and headed for the staircase behind her desk. He'd never been up there, so he followed quickly.

Upstairs, he found himself in a hallway with two doors. Kate led him through the one on the left, and his gaze fell on blue mats on a concrete floor, and a punchbag in the far back. It was the precinct gym.

Confidence lightening his step, he walked towards the punchbag and rammed his fist into it. He noted with satisfaction that the bag was swinging back and forth fairly quickly but his knuckles felt warm and raw and wriggling his fingers tickled.

"Don't punch the bag without proper support," Kate chided and glanced at his hands teasingly, her tongue pushing against her teeth as she leaned in to whisper, "Might hurt those mollycoddled writer fingers."

"Hey, those fingers could take you!" Castle defended and Kate raised her eyebrows, took a step back and measured him up slowly from behind hooded lids.

He puffed his chest out a little because he _could_ take her. He was tall and broad, all he needed to do was tackle her and hold her down with his weight on top of her. Just like he did when they were- Oh, thinking about that probably wasn't 'work appropriate behavior'. But then again, the way she currently looked at him, wasn't either.

"We'll see about that." Kate threw him a small object and Castle caught the key while Kate sauntered away to the women's locker rooms.

Castle found the door to the men's room and looked around till he found locker number twelve. He hoped the key was the thing Kate had taken from Ryan's desk, and furthermore, he hoped Ryan did his laundry regularly. He did not want to wear his sweaty, smelly clothes.

He was lucky. There were several outfits in Ryan's locker, all of them neatly folded - and pressed? Must be Jenny's doing.

Ryan's clothing was way too small for him but he figured he could always take the shirt off; maybe distract Kate with his biceps.

While he didn't have a washboard stomach, he did have a few free weights in his office that came to use whenever he was stuck on a scene, and he found his upper arms and shoulders to look quite nice. Judging by the bite marks he woke up with from time to time, Kate felt the same way. Oh, this was _exciting_.

When he stepped back into the gym, though, he learned that he was not the only one trying to use his body as a distraction.

Kate was stretching-wearing only a sports bra and a pair of tight gym shorts, her hair in a high ponytail, showing off her slender neck.

"Wasn't expecting to work out this week, so I took my regular gym clothes home to wash them. Shouldn't be a problem though, right?"

Nope, not at all. Not at all.

He did a few jumping jacks to loosen his muscles, and then wrapped the bandages Kate threw him around his knuckles and wrists to support them.

When he was done, he stepped up to Kate and they started circling on the mat, measuring up the other, waiting for a weakness or a moment of abstraction to attack.

But that's where the problem was. Looking at Kate-barely clothed-he didn't know where to hit, where to grab her. With a guy he'd just throw punches, jerk his knee into the other guy's stomach, but Kate was all soft and silky skin and curves-

His head connected hard with the blue mat and Kate towered above him with a teasing gleam to her eyes. And while she took pride in surprising him, he wiped her feet out from under her with his arm.

Now he was the one taking pride in surprising her and he remembered his earlier plan: holding her down with his weight.

He pinned her beneath him and trapped her wrists high above her head with his hand, triumphant. Unfortunately he'd forgotten all about her legs-her glorious legs-and in milliseconds she had them flipped, their positions now reversed. But not for long. With a foot to his hip and both hands holding onto one arm, she rolled him on his stomach, fixating him by kneeling on his thighs and holding his arm behind his back.

He was determined though and used his free arm to push his chest off the mat and bucked once, twice, until Kate slid off his sweaty thighs, and he could tackle her again.

They rolled around on the mats for a few minutes until Castle managed to get to his feet again. Up until now he'd pretty much precipitately attacked and pinned her down; without much success, though. Kate knew what she was doing and could wriggle herself out of all of his holds, so he decided to go about this with a little more tactic.

He'd never practiced any form of martial arts before, but he had done a lot of research on it for _Derrick Storm_, and started blocking her punches. He wouldn't attack, just block and wear her out, and then, when she was tired and unconcentrated, he'd have her in a hold she couldn't get out of.

Kate tired quickly. Castle was tall and broad and she had to kick pretty high to get her foot where she wanted it to go, and he was steadfast and determined.

He didn't know for how long they had been doing this, but he was sweating and Ryan's tight shirt clung to him in a way he hated. So he lifted his palm to signal a short pause and took it off.

Kate's eyes darkened visibly when he turned back around, and a smug smile stretched across his face. But there it was again, that moment of inattentiveness, and he found himself sprawled on his back once more, Kate on top of him, leaning down a little more than she had to and giving him a perfect view of her cleavage.

He wasn't going to survive this. He loved sweaty Kate and he could actually see the glistening skin between her breasts-

He needed to finish this and take her somewhere more secluded.

With new-found fervor, he curled his abdominals and flipped backwards over his shoulder, Kate tumbling off him with a squeak.

He straddled her left thigh, lifted her right leg over his shoulder and leaned forward so that he trapped it between their bodies, while his hands pinned both her wrists down. She was completely at his mercy.

She could probably, somehow, slide out from under him with one of her crazy ninja moves, but she relaxed beneath him, her breath hot against his cheek, and the win was his.

Her eyes were dark with desire when they found his, but the need for _him_ flared brightly in them. He let go of her right leg, nudged it aside so he could press his flaming skin to hers and swiped his tongue through her mouth, hot and thorough.

His hands let go of her wrists and found their way into her ponytail, messing it up, and Kate arched into him, shivering in anticipation when he pressed his hips against hers.

But then he was on his back again, dizzy. Whether from the completely unexpected flip or the kiss, he didn't know.

Kate let out a breathless laugh and sauntered away to the woman's locker room, throwing him a saucy smirk over her shoulder.

"You always need to have the last word, don't you?" he called after her and dropped his head back onto the mattress to pout a little. She just ruined his perfect, triumphant victory.

Her head popped out of the locker room again. "Come find me in the shower when you're done sulking."

At that, he scrambled off the floor. "But I'm not going to use my 'mollycoddled' fingers on you, Detective, since you don't seem to respect them," he warned her. "You need to _earn_ that privilege."

XXX

She'd sent him home after their... _shower_, told him she couldn't concentrate when his eyes kept glazing over like that, but he hadn't minded one bit. It had hit him when Kate had walked over the blue mats in the gym. Something about her ass in those pants, the high-heeled boots on mats they'd sparred on only minutes before, and that lecherous look she threw him when she caught him ogling her: a smart, savvy female Detective with haunting good looks and a tragic back story that drove her.

Throw in a case of hot precinct sex and a provocative sidekick, and he had his next bestseller.

His finger were tingling and he couldn't wait to get home and write, but today-no, the past few weeks actually-had set off something else. Something that couldn't wait any longer. Since Alexis was going to a friend's house today anyway, he picked up Louis from school and took him out for burgers and fries for lunch. There was something he'd been meaning to ask him.

Louis grinned widely when his cheeseburger was put in front of him; usually it was going home after school, having leftovers for lunch, and then doing homework.

"Hey Louis, you know I love your mom, right?" Castle started after they'd both taken a big bite of their food and appeased some of their hunger.

"Yeah, you tell her that _all _the time," Louis replied around a mouthful of beef and cheese.

"True, I've made no secret of that. But speaking of secrets, can you promise me to keep one more? Another one that only you and I know?"

"Not even Alexis?"

"We'll tell her eventually, but for now, it'll be just you and me."

Louis nodded eagerly, burger momentarily forgotten.

"But you have to promise me to not say a word to anyone, especially not your mom." Under normal circumstances, he'd never ask the boy to keep something from his mother, but he needed to ask Louis this question, and if he blabbed, it would all be ruined.

"I promise, I promise!" Louis vowed, holding up three fingers of his right hand in a scout's honor gesture.

"I love you, and I love your mom, and I wanted to know if you'd be okay with it if I asked her to marry me one day?"

Castle held his breath as Louis' hand dropped to his lap, mouth a perfectly shaped 'O'. Unsure of the boy's reaction, Castle added, "You can say 'no' if you don't want that." If that was the case, Castle would have to work harder to be worthy of both of them.

"She'll be your wife and we'll all live in the same house?"

With Louis, it was always hard to tell what he was truly thinking, and it had him worried. They had only met a year ago, but- It just felt right. All of it. Without trying, the all worked hand in hand and complemented each other.

"Yes, exactly."

He was met with silence. "Louis, you can think about this for a few days, you don't have to tell me immediately if you like the idea."

"I think I like the idea," the boy admitted shyly. "Everyone else has a mom and a dad that live in the same house. It's weird that I don't."

A mom and a- "So you'd be okay with it?"

"The ring you give her has to be very pretty," Louis replied, eyes twinkling with mischief, and Castle let his head drop against the back of the booth he was sitting in. Thank God.

"How about you help me pick one out? Today, after lunch?"

"I get to help?" Louis asked, mouth once again open.

"Of course! I need your advice. You have to tell me what your mom likes." Of course, Castle knew what Kate liked, but he also knew that Louis needed to be needed.

Louis's cheeks flushed with excitement and he practically inhaled his burger; so very eager to help Castle out.

But Castle almost regretted his decision when they hit the third jeweler; Louis kept pointing to the rings with the biggest diamond, claiming "This is the one" every time.

Without a doubt, the rings were beautiful, but they just didn't feel right. He didn't have a price limit when it came to buying the perfect ring for Kate, but these rings were not only obnoxiously expensive, they were also more a statement of status than an intimate promise of love.

And the Kate he knew, would prefer a sleek but unique ring with a set in diamond over a fancy design and a large rock on top any day. Or a ring with a heart shaped diamond. Jeez, Louis.

For a cop and mother, most of these rings were highly impractical anyway.

All of a sudden, he wasn't so sure anymore, if a traditional engagement ring was the right thing to buy. They weren't unique-thousands of women wore an exact copy of the rings he was currently looking at. And Kate was always so intent to protect her family at work, a diamond on her left ring finger would be a dead giveaway to any perp and would leave her more vulnerable at her job.

But maybe- maybe he could buy her a ring with a different stone, a ring that wasn't a typical engagement ring. A ring that was uniquely them.

When a salesperson came up to him and he asked for "unusual engagement rings", he was presented with edgy cut diamonds and squiggled gold bands, but that wasn't what he was looking for. So he asked for "alternative rings" and watched the eyebrows of the young woman rise higher and higher, until they almost disappeared in her hairline.

She finally led him to a small display of rings in the very back of the store, and instead of diamonds, they had all sorts of colorful gemstones.

"Do you like any of these?" he asked Louis, and the boy looked very critical. Apparently, he also preferred diamonds over rubies for an engagement ring.

"This one is okay," he replied and pointed to a grey ring with two colored stones that didn't quite touch in the middle.

"Could you tell me more about this ring?" Castle asked the saleswoman and she opened the display to get the ring out.

"What we have here is a grey gold band that ends in two rectangular yellow gold settings, the left one holding an emerald cut amethyst, the right one holding an emerald cut citrine. It's an open ring, therefore its size can be adjusted if needed."

Very reluctantly she handed it over, and Castle looked at it from every angle. The ring was - special.

"What do you think, Louis?"

"It's different. And the yellow stone reminds me of Alexis. It's her favorite color and she has spots of that color in her hair." _Spots of that color in her hair._ Castle would let that highly ineloquent sentence slide in favor of its meaning-yellow and gold were Alexis' favorite colors and-

"What's your favorite color, Louis?"

"Black! Or green. But black is nicer."

The wheels in his head were turning. Black. Onyx. Black spinel. Hematite. Black diamond.

"Louis, what if we buy this ring, replace the purple with a black diamond? A yellow stone for Alexis, a black stone for you?"

Louis' eyes started to shine with the possibility of that. "Alexis and I would always be with her!"

"Exactly." Alexis would be so excited about this fact when he'd eventually show her the finished ring. Maybe even more than about the fact that he wanted to propose to Kate. Being with Kate, knowing that she loved her, it was everything for Alexis at the moment.

The saleswoman had listened to their little exchange, and Castle smiled sheepishly at her when he registered her state of shock. Apparently, not a lot of people came into this fancy store, bought a ring, and then planned on completely dismantling it. "Would that be possible?" he asked, flashing his most charming smile. "Replacing the amethyst with a black diamond?"

The saleswoman looked very unconvinced, but when Castle nudged Louis with his elbow, and the boy blinked his lashes at the woman, she led them to a lab in the back of the store where several people practiced their handicraft on precious metal and gemstones, and introduced Castle to the supervisor.

At the end of the day, Castle practically skipped out of there with an invoice in his pocket and and a date to pick up the finished ring. In the meantime, he needed to have another more concrete talk about the future with his daughter.

* * *

Twitter: kbymyside

Not long to go now!


	37. Chapter 37

**Author's Note: I have re-written this chapter a total of four times - I sincerely apologize if it is (still) messy. Every attempt to improve it currently ends up having the exact opposite effect.**

* * *

**Chapter 37 **

"Alexis likes a boy! Alexis likes a boy!"

"I do not!"

"Do too. Alexis likes a boy!"

Alexis groaned and kicked at Louis' school bag which had been carelessly dropped by the door. "I do _not_ like him! Stop saying that."

"Don't kick that!" Louis protested. "And you have to say 'please'." When Alexis' lips remained clamped together, he started again. "Alexis likes a-"

"Louis!" Kate called from her spot at the elevator, giving Castle's neighbor an apologizing smile, but the elderly woman kept ranting about the unfriendly repairman that checked the air conditioning of the whole building and left muddy shoe prints everywhere he went.

She'd been listening to the woman repeat herself for the last five minutes, but she figured she should get to know some of this building's inhabitants if she was going to live here soon. She was basically here all the time already, it was just her furniture that was still at her apartment.

"I don't have to say please; you have to stop," she heard Alexis argue, accompanied by Louis' giggle.

"Alexis likes a boy, Alexis likes a boy!"

Kate could actually see them through the open door of the loft, and Louis was teasing Alexis mercilessly, and the girl was slowly beginning to get frustrated.

"I'm sorry, Mrs.-"

"-Goldstein-"

"-Mrs. Goldstein, but-" She pointed at the fighting children, and the woman from the apartment across the hall nodded in understanding and called for the elevator. "I'll make sure to ask the repairman to take off his shoes. Thank you. Thank you so much."

Mrs. Goldstein reached out give her hand a maternal pat, and Kate quickly disappeared into the loft, calling Louis' name again.

"I _don't_ like him!" she heard Alexis yell and then Louis was jumping over the back of the couch, headed for Castle's office with Alexis chasing him in a flash of red.

Kate darted forward to catch the girl's arm before she could hop over the couch as well, and Alexis let out a frustrated growl and jerked her arm out of Kate's grip.

"He started it," she immediately complained, her voice thick with anger and incoming tears.

Louis was leaning against the bookshelves, holding his belly and laughing. Only when he didn't get a response did he stop and look up. He sucked in a breath when he saw his mother had her cop face on.

"Oops," he murmured, eyes darting around the room while he tried to come up with a way to get himself out of this mess. "I-I told her to say 'please'?" he tried, a poor attempt at defending himself, but his mouth was twisting into a small grin, like he couldn't believe himself he was even _trying_.

"You know the drill, Louis. Your room. One hour. I want you to think about why you're being so mean. And when I come to get you, I want you to have an honest apology for Alexis."

"But we were gonna cook lunch, mom," Louis whined, pushing further and stomping his foot, but he jerked upright when Kate took a threatening step closer. "You just ruined that for yourself. Now, don't make me drag you upstairs."

That did it; Louis pushed off the bookshelves and went up to his room. Not without scowling and trampling of course, but one glare of Kate's had him scurrying.

Just loud enough for them to hear, he chanted "Alexis likes a boy" one last time, before quickly banging the door closed, but Kate didn't react. He was just trying to provoke her and if she went upstairs now, he'd get the attention he wanted.

She sighed deeply, frustrated and disappointed with the turn this afternoon had taken. It had been a promising day; she'd closed a case in the early morning, had taken a nap with Castle who then had to leave for a meeting at Black Pawn, leaving her to have a fun afternoon with the children.

But her plan of cooking lunch, helping them with homework, and then going ice skating had just been ruined by her son who was currently going through a phase of obstinacy.

She didn't know where he got this behavior from-probably school-but Louis was testing her, teasing Alexis, and being quite nasty in general. The only one he never talked back to was Castle.

"Did we ruin lunch?" Alexis asked timidly at her side and Kate ran her hand through her fiery hair, entangling a few strands as she went.

"It's not ruined," Kate promised. "It'll simply be just the two of us preparing it."

"What are we having anyway?"

"I thought stuffed peppers and rice? Your dad should be home soon and he's probably very hungry, so I thought a big lunch and then just sandwiches for dinner sounded good?"

"Yeah, sounds great," Alexis agreed and followed her to the kitchen where she washed her hands. "I dropped my yogurt at school, so I'm really hungry anyway."

"Do you want a yogurt now? Or can you wait another hour or so till lunch is ready?"

"I can wait. I'll just snack on the peppers." Alexis grinned up at her and Kate pressed a smacking kiss to her forehead, so very glad that one of her two children was still her chipper self.

"And you know, I really don't like the boy. He tries to copy my homework!"

Kate bit back a grin as she measured the rice for their lunch, listening to Alexis grouse about the boy, envisioning the two of them having a very similar talk in about five years from now. She was looking forward to it.

XXX

He heard the squabbling before he even twisted the key in the lock.

"Hey daddy!" Alexis shouted from the table, grinning widely, and he lifted a tired hand, totally drained from dealing with Gina and Paula.

"Hi Rick," Louis grinned around a bite of something red, and he watched as Kate reached out to catch a piece of the veggie that was on its way to stain Louis' sweater.

"Louis," Kate groaned. "What did I tell you about speaking with your mouth full?"

The boy shrugged his shoulders, some rice still on his chin, and Castle assessed the situation from his spot at the door. Alexis was glaring at Louis and Kate looked like she was about to murder someone. Trouble in paradise, then.

"The rice is a nice touch," Castle said, pointing at Louis' chin, and the boy's hand immediately came up to wipe it away.

"There's a stuffed pepper in the kitchen for you. Want me to get it for you while you freshen up?" Kate offered, but he waved off. She looked as tired as he felt. "Got it. Thanks, babe."

He came back with his plate, trailed his free hand over her back in passing and she gave him a small smile.

"Did your meetings go well, daddy?" Alexis asked as he sat down next to her.

"As well as meetings with both Gina and Paula present can go. But we haven't come to a conclusion as to where I'm signing this winter if that's what you mean." He brushed a piece of hair back for Alexis and she chewed happily on her pepper.

"But are we flying far away again?"

He saw Kate pause mid-movement, fork hovering in front of her mouth. They hadn't discussed it yet. To be honest, it had completely slipped his mind, too.

"No, we're staying close to home. It'll be just a few days and we're staying in the same time zone."

Kate resumed eating but she still looked at him warily.

"Have you guys been to the park yet?" he asked instead, trying to tell Kate with a look that they'd talk about his upcoming book tour later.

"No," Louis then pouted, glaring at Kate who had her eyebrows raised at him in warning. "I had to stay in my room for a whole _hour_."

"You're a liar!" Alexis shouted and slid down in her chair to get at Louis's shin. Castle pulled her chair back just in time, and Alexis turned to him, furious. "We got him after half an hour and he even helped us cook."

Kate pinched the bridge of her nose between thumb and pointer finger, and Louis dropped his fork on the table. "You should have just said 'please'."

"You're just like the others. A _stupid_ boy."

Louis pushed his chair back, but Kate made him sit again, shaking her head 'no' at Alexis. "Mom! She called me- She called me stupid! She _insulted _me. Do something!"

Castle rescued the glass Alexis almost toppled when she reached across the table to slap at Louis' fingers. She let out an angry screech when he attempted to box her, and while Kate caught Louis' fist, barking, "Enough you two!", he got up, grabbed Alexis by the shoulders and steered her away from the table and into his office before more insults or limbs flew around.

Slapping and kicking was a no-go in his household.

He pushed Alexis into his office, closed the door behind her, and started to clear the table. Lunch was over.

Louis sat in his chair, red-faced and unapproachable, the echo of Kate's angry hiss still in the air.

She brought the last of the silverware into the kitchen and stood with her hands on either side of the sink, head bowed.

"This been going on all day?" he asked, coming up behind her and rubbing his knuckles between her shoulder blades to ease some of the tension.

"Pretty much. Yeah," she sighed, and closed her eyes when his circles became firmer.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, and he really was. Days like this had been more frequent since the summer, and it's the first time in their history that Louis acted up like this.

"'S okay. It's just a phase," she replied, giving him a weak smile, and he couldn't help but brush his lips over her temple and along her hairline, trying to somehow ease the pain.

"You want me to talk to him?"

"Please. I just don't know what to do. He's not listening to me at the moment and I feel like everything I try is just making it worse."

"I'll talk to Louis first, then Alexis."

"Thanks, babe."

Castle smirked at her and she rolled her eyes when she noticed that the pet name had slipped out - again. It always did when she was tired or unconcentrated.

She threw a dish towel at him. "Go deal with those little monsters."

XXX

Louis didn't show any reaction when he called his name, so he twisted his chair around and sank to his haunches in front of it.

"It wasn't right of Alexis to call you stupid. I don't know what went on here while I was gone-"

"She kicked at my-"

"-and I don't want to hear it, but she didn't have the right to call you that. You're not stupid. I'll talk to her about it right now. And I'll also talk to her about kicking."

Louis hands flew to his right leg, but Castle stopped his process of pulling up his pant leg and showing him the imaginary bruise that he was sure the boy would point to.

"Do I get a free pass for kicking her?" he asked with his hands crossed over his chest, a saturnine look on his face and the question-though not meant completely serious-knocked Castle out of his stride.

"What's gotten into you, Louis?" he asked, truly shocked. "You're not a bully; so what's going on? Did something happen we don't know about?"

"Of course I'm not a bully!" Louis yelled, still worked up, but Castle remained calm.

"But what you were doing - teasing Alexis, teasing her more when she asks you to stop, that's bullying," Castle explained and watched the boy's eyes grow wide.

"But she kicked-" he tried again, only to be cut off by Castle again. "There must have been a good reason why she kicked you. Talk to me."

Louis dropped his gaze to his hands, started knotting them together, and visibly deflated. "Mom looked sad. I made her sad."

"No," Castle corrected. "Your behavior today did. But she still loves you."

"I love her, too," Louis sighed, his brown eyes muddy with unshed tears. "But- It's just, it's always her and Alexis all the time."

He shrank further into his seat upon his admission and Castle had to hold onto the leg of the chair to remain upright. This is what this was all about?

"And you want to spend more time alone with your mom?"

"Yes, but also- Alexis is not shy, Alexis is really good in school, Alexis can make jokes, and everyone just loves her." His cheeks were pink and Castle found his knee, squeezed it to tell him it was okay to voice all these things.

Castle made sure Kate was listening to all of this. This was important. "Everyone just loves you too, Louis," Castle promised. "But you're shy, so people are a little more shy around you. Do you want my mother to hug and squeeze and kiss you the way she does Alexis?"

"No," Louis admitted.

"See, that's why she doesn't. It doesn't mean she loves you less, she just doesn't want to make you feel uncomfortable. This is her way of loving you. And hey, who's the genius that maps out whole Lego cities in their room and builds them? Or can squeeze himself between the drawer and the wall and get me every time we play laser tag?"

Louis' lips curved into a small but proud smile. "Me."

"Exactly. But maybe your mom and I have done a bad job of showing you how special you are."

Kate had been creeping ever closer and was now dropping to her haunches next to Castle. "Louis, baby, I had no idea you were feeling this way."

"I didn't know how to tell you."

"Just do," Kate replied, sounding a little frantic and shaken as she reached for her son's hands. "Don't start bullying because you don't know how else to deal with a situation. Bullying is never an option, do you understand?"

"Yes mommy. I'm sorry. I didn't actually mean to."

"I know you didn't. But you did, and imagine how horrible Alexis must feel right now."

"I wanna apologize," Louis mumbled and a small smile flickered to life on Kate's face. He had a good heart; he knew what's right.

"Go apologize to Alexis, and then we'll think of a plan. We'll figure this out, okay?"

XXX

"Castle, tell me honestly, have I been neglecting my son?"

"Woah, Kate. No. How can you even think that? No. Never."

She was pacing in front of the large window in his office, one hand pressed against her mouth, the other curled around her ribs as if she had to physically hold herself together.

"He's had days like this ever since the end of the summer, and I thought it had something to do with school, but I read the signs all wrong. I-" She broke off, rubbed her hands down her face and then stared at the city lights in remorseful silence.

"You wanna know what I think?"

She nodded; she was at a complete loss. This wasn't supposed to be this hard.

"I think a lot has happened this past year, and it's not easy. For neither of us. Alexis is like me; she's open about things that bother her. You Becketts, you are harder to read, and even harder to read correctly. You're mysterious; all of you."

Despite herself, she had to smile. She really wasn't the easiest person to be with. But she hadn't known that applied to Louis as well. And it made her sad.

"And I believe Louis didn't do it consciously. I think, at first, he himself didn't even know what was going on, or why he was behaving the way he did. It was just - an instinct maybe?"

She sighed and came to a stop before the window. "It's just that I thought I was dividing my time up so well between work and all three of you. Louis is my son, but Alexis, she's- I'm not her mother but I feel...motherly about her, you know?"

"I know the feeling. And just so you know, you're the closest thing she has to a mother. She'd probably introduce you as such if she weren't uncertain whether it's correct."

"I love her Rick," she stated and he smiled a tender, fragile thing, but so full of love.

"That's all that matters to her."

"I know, and I'm trying not do differentiate between the children, I don't want one child to feel less loved than the other. But maybe that was the wrong thing to do? Maybe Louis just needs a little more? Needs to feel a little more special?"

She resumed to pace. "But then again, you treat both children exactly the same and it works."

"Kate, you're making me nauseous. And you can't compare the children, that's unfair-to both of them. Maybe we'll have to take a step back, go slower, let him adjust and settle in. That doesn't happen in the course of one summer; it needs time. And you see, I'm basically available all the time. Sure, I write from time to time, but I'm still _here_. Alone time with you is more sacred than alone time with me."

She closed her eyes for a moment and pinched the bridge of her nose between two fingers, trying to get to the bottom of this.

Maybe time really was all they needed. Time, space, and lots of talks.

She felt Castle's fingers weave through hers and he was tugging until she was sitting across his lap, his body supporting hers just like his love and presence did her in everything she did every single day.

He truly was their rock in the tossing sea. They would be nothing without him. And she didn't tell him that nearly often enough. "Alone time with you is still special. You know that, right? Your constant availability is not being taken for granted."

He nuzzled his nose into the hair at her temple and she felt him smile against her skin. "I know. But it's always good to hear."

"For what it's worth; alone time with you is my favorite time of the day."

He groaned against her scalp and she felt it reverberate all the way down to her toes. "Don't say things like that when I can't do anything about it," he complained, his eyes straying from her face and slipping along her body.

She smirked, leaned in to press an apologetic kiss to his jaw, and when he returned his focus to her face again, she asked, "What did happen to your writing? You said you had been working on something."

"Ah, yes," he grinned, excitement erasing the last traces of lust from his features. "But first I need to ask you: do you think we would've met if it weren't for our children?"

After the inital surprise of the question wore off, she lifted an eyebrow and gave him a sideway glance. "I don't know, Castle. Maybe I would've been the Officer to arrest you for stealing a police horse."

His face split into a grin. "Oh, that would have been cool. But I don't think you were with the Acadamy yet when I _borrowed_ the police horse."

"Borrowed? Still sticking to that, huh?" She shook her head, not chastisizing him though, and started toying with a loose thread at the hem of her sweater. Sometimes she wondered if she would have done similar things, had the death of her mother not forced her to lay off her rebellious and immature behavior and demanded she grow up.

"'S the truth. I fully intended to give it back," Castle went on. "I mean, I left my clothing at the tree where it was tied to. I thought that made it clear that I was going to come back eventually."

"And why again are we talking about this? And not your writing?" she asked, although not unkindly. Just wondering.

That spark in his eyes promised nothing good.

"I thought you liked the words 'leather', 'skin' and 'ride' in the same senten-" Her hand over his mouth cut him off, and she checked to make sure there weren't any little ears around.

"But currently, I have a picture of you, _naked_, on a poor horse in my head, and that's not an image I want to conjure when I think of leather. So stop talking or I'm never wearing that outfit again."

"Would be a pity," he said dreamily. "That leather is _so_ buttery-"

She clamped her hand over his mouth with one final, warning glare. The picture of that poor horse was still in her head.

"Go' it, go' it," Castle mumbled behind the barrier of her hand and she removed it. "So, uh, do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Believe that we would have met, _Beckett_." He took such pride in calling her by her last name. Louis didn't understand it at all, and his head jerked up every time Castle called her that, thinking, someone had called his name. "If our children hadn't brought us together, I mean."

"New York's a big place, Castle. I don't know. But, uh, we _have_ met before."

"We- we have? When? Where?"

"I came to see you at a book signing," she admitted with a smile, allowed for the words to sink in before she continued. "It was right after my mom died. I had saved her collection of books from my dad's burst of temper, and I re-read all of them in the weeks following her death. And then I saw on the news that you'd be signing in a book store in New York, and I wanted to feel close to my mom, so I went. I never planned to stay in line for an hour, I just wanted to see you in real life for a second, but then I did end up waiting."

He blinked a few times, making sure he heard correctly. "You never told me that. That- that's amazing, Kate. Nine years ago-that's when I had Alexis. Means I was trying to grow up at that time. Tell me I was nice. Not a jerk."

He looked at her, eyes squinted together as if he was actually afraid of the answer, and she laughed, splayed her fingers at his cheek. "You were sweet, Castle. Maybe a little tired from sleepless nights with the baby, but meeting you was truly the highlight of - that year after mom's death, I guess?"

"I'm glad I was able to do that for you."

She stretched up, met his lips in a tender, loving kiss.

"You know you still do that, right? You are one of the few good things that happened to me after mom died."

"It's uncanny how fast you can get me to tear up. But that's why I think the universe would have led us to one another in a different world."

"The universe?" she mused, pressing her lips together.

"Fate?"

She shook her head.

"Fine. What do you believe in? Karma?"

"None of the above. But why are you thinking about this? Is this what you've been doing when you said you were supposedly writing?"

"I was writing! I wrote those four chapters I told you about."

"Oh no. Don't tell me- This is what you've been writing about? The universe and fate? Castle! I thought you were doing _real_ work."

"I was- I am doing real work! Look." He almost dumped her off his lap in his haste to get to his laptop, and she sent him a glare that made him stumble.

"I'm just- I've kind of fallen in love with this idea," he apologized when he returned with is laptop and sat down next to her. "It's not edited or anything, very raw actually, but I won't type anything else unless I have your okay."

"Since when do you need my okay for anything, Castle?" she grumped as she reached for the laptop.

"Just- just read it, okay?"

XXX

She did. Read it. And when she was done, she shut the laptop, set it aside, and found Castle's way too innocent smile directed at her.

"Is this what I think it is?" she asked, looking him straight in the eye when she quoted his own words back to him. "_Or was she just recalling herself back when she was the one in The Loss Chair, nineteen years old with her world suddenly imploding around her?_"

Castle's gaze turned from innocent to frightful. "This was really not the best line to quote, but, aren't you - flattered?"

"_Flattered_? Castle, this is me. My life. Hell, you even dragged my best friend into this. Of course I'm not flattered; what were you thinking?"

She got up, leaned her back against the cold window and stared up at the ceiling. Of course, the way he portrayed her, the way he saw her, that was kind of- No. No, no, no.

"Hear me out," he asked and got off the couch as well, stepping a little closer. "That day at the precinct with you - seeing you in action, that was- everything just clicked into place, you know? The way you walk, the way everyone looks up at you, even the way you sit at your desk. There is just something about you, and I want to capture a little of that mysterious, intruiging aura for the whole world to see."

"But what if I don't want the whole world to see that?" she argued back. "This is my _life _you're talking about, Castle."

"Nobody will know it's you," he promised, coming yet closer.

"I don't like it, Castle," she told him honestly. "I don't like it at all. And wait - does this _Detective Nikki Heat_-" she spat the name and he knew they weren't done talking about this yet- "have a kid? Because, Rick, if you-"

"No," he interrupted loudly, waving his hands wildly. "No. No, no. That is sacred. Our private life is sacred. You'll never find anything of that in anything I write."

"Good. But I still don't like it."

He looked crushed. Utterly crushed. He wasn't even giving her the puppy dog look and that implied he was really serious about this. "Will you at least think about it? Or read over my shoulder while I write and tell me when I need to change something?"

Shit. She covered her face with her hands, breathed deeply. He was so earnest, a hint of heartbroken-ness in his eyes and she was actually intrigued to see where he was going with these four chapters. She would regret this later on for sure, but if she could give Castle back the thing he loves-writing-she could come to terms with the idea that her life was to be immortalized on paper.

She stepped into him, hands on his shoulders, stroking. "I love the chapters. I love the way you see me, it's vey sweet, but you know, you _know_, how private I am. But - keep writing, okay? If this is what you've set your mind on, then we'll figure out something for sure."

"Yeah?" he replied, a hopeful little thing.

"Yeah," she promised. "Just like everything else, we'll figure it out."

XXX

Kate and Louis had left to spend the rest of the week in their own apartment, Alexis was in bed and he was...juggling the ring box.

He'd picked it up on his way to Black Pawn earlier. It's a stunning ring. And it's going to torment him from its spot in his bedside drawer for the next few weeks. Or even months. He'd give Louis however long he needed.

Didn't meant that he wasn't saddened, but this, this was it. His last proposal, his last wedding. It had to be absolutely perfect, therefore he could manage to wait a little longer.

He threw the box up in the air again, caught, threw it up again, ca-

"Daddy, what is that?"

His hands were uncoordinated when he tried to catch it and the black velvet box ended up landing in his lap.

"What is what, sweetie?" he asked, trying to appear completely unfazed.

"The box. What's in it?"

"Hey, I thought you went to bed an hour ago?"

"I couldn't sleep and wanted to ask you to supervise me cooking milk. But daddy, was that a-" Her voice dropped to a whisper here, "-ring box?"

He sighed. "There's nobody here, you can say it. Yes, it's a ring box. How do you know what that looks like in the first place?"

"Grams showed me hers," she replied, padding a little closer on her bare feet. "Show me again."

He showed her the box and watched her eyes light up. "Are you gonna propose?" she spluttered, only now registering its meaning.

He patted his thighs. "Come here for a sec."

"What's wrong?" Alexis asked and got comfortable.

"This is an engagement ring," he said, showing her the black velvet box again. "But I won't ask Kate to marry me unless you're okay with. One-hundred percent okay," he emphasized and paused to make sure the words sank in. "And you also need to be okay with the consequences."

Alexis' tired face was a mask of uncertainty and she tensed. "What consequences?"

"Eventually, Kate will move in with us. And so will Louis."

"I'm okay with that," Alexis quickly promised, but Castle held up a hand to stop her.

"You and Louis will have to share. Everything. Alone time with mom and dad, weekend activities, the TV. You'll need to learn how to compromise."

"We can learn that, daddy! And I promise we won't fight. Ever again."

He laughed quietly. "You can't promise me that, and I don't expect you to. Just remember what we talked about earlier - no kicking or scratching or pinching. Use your words. And try to be the smarter one and walk away."

"I will," Alexis agreed quickly. Too quickly for his taste. "We will!"

Things with Louis had shaken him up a little as well, so he looked her deep in the eyes. "The moment something bothers you, you come talk to me or Kate, alright?"

"I will," she sighed but there was a promise glittering in her clear blue eyes. She was old and mature enough to understand how serious he was about this defining and life-changing moment. "Can I see the ring now?"

He handed her the box and she curled into a ball on his lap, opened the box with her small fingers and stared at the ring glinting in the low light for a good minute. "It's so pretty," she sighed. "It's so different, but it's so pretty."

"You want to know what the stones mean? The black one is for Louis, and the golden one, that one is for you."

"And where is your stone?"

"I don't need a stone," he laughed. "I _am _the ring. Stuck on her finger forever."

"I have a golden stone for my golden halo 'cause I'm an angel," Alexis giggled, her body lose and sleepy and heavy in his lap. "Are you gonna propose to Kate?" she asked, yawning and squinting her eyes against the low light of his desk lamp.

He let out a soft laugh, plucked the ring from her fingers and set it on his desk. He gathered her against his chest and got out of his chair, slowly made his way up the stairs. "Yes, I'll propose to Kate. One day."

"She's a great mom," Alexis mumbled and Castle put her down on her bed, tucked her in, and kissed her cheek.

"She is," he agreed. "Sleep tight, sweetie. Love you."

Alexis gave a non-committal grunt, eyes already closed.

But when he was about to hit the light, she spoke again, her voice slurred. "Daddy, 're you gonna propose to Kate?"

He shut the door behind him, laughing.


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

"Did you know I made your grandpa stop three times when we brought you out here for the first time?" Kate asked Louis who was silently staring at the passing landscape from his blue booster seat.

"No. Why'd you make him stop?"

She found his curious eyes in the rearview mirror. "The first time was because you were mewling in your sleep and I was sitting up front and couldn't reach you. So I made him stop and climbed in the back with you. But then, when I was sitting in the back, I couldn't see how fast he was going anymore, and it felt a lot more than the ten miles per hour I told him he couldn't go past. It was still snowy in April and I was afraid the car would swing out in one of the curves. I told him to stop again and changed seats once more; kept controlling the speed."

Louis was craning his neck to see the speedometer. "But mom, we're going thirty miles per hour right now," Louis alarmed her.

The speed Castle was driving at was fine.

"See how ridiculous I was back then?" Kate twisted in her seat to grin at Louis and reached out to tug at his ankle. "But I was just so worried about you; you were a tiny thing, really. So precious."

"Were you like that, too, daddy?" Alexis piped up, putting her book aside for the moment.

"Me?" Castle scoffed, feigning incredulity, but he grinned at her when Kate flicked his elbow. "Night by night, I sat by your little bed, just so I could get you the moment you awoke. Your lonely cries were the most terrible thing. And during the day, I strapped you to my chest. I had a little pink carrier, and since I only got very little sleep when you were a baby, I was afraid that one day, I might stumble or drop you altogether. So I put you into the carrier, and we went for long walks, bought groceries, and rode the subway just for the fun of it."

Alexis seemed happy with that answer, but Kate snorted. "For the fun of it, Castle? Really? Not because women must have been all over you, telling you what a handsome, caring, _sexy_ dad you make?"

She watched him busy himself with the windshield wipers for long moments, but she was still tilting her head at him and expecting a truthful answer, when the windshield had been cleared of stray snowflakes-twice-and washed.

"That might have been a - partial reason. But really, Alexis loved seeing things."

Kate shook her head at him, but she was smiling when she looked out the window again, watching the snow-covered pines of the mountains fly by.

"Just for future reference; would you say the same thing to me if I had a, uh, baby strapped to my chest now?"

She reached out to pat his thigh, not at all ready for this yet. "Keep driving, babe, and focus on the road."

Something undefinable glittered in his eyes, his mouth tilted upwards ever so slightly, and she knew she was in for it.

XXX

"You ready, big boy?"

"I'm ready," Louis mumbled, but made no move to open the door.

Kate got out of the car, nose immediately turning red from the cold, and opened his door for him. "Come on, grandpa will be so happy to see you."

Castle helped Alexis out of the car and locked it the exact same moment the front door of the cabin opened to reveal Jim Beckett.

He looked a little anxious-they all did-but he smiled when he spotted them and Kate pulled Louis along.

"Hey dad," Kate greeted and hugged him, before stepping back and pulling Louis into her side. She carded her fingers through his hair and and squeezed his shoulder. "Louis, you remember grandpa, don't you?"

He didn't-not from memories-but still nodded. He'd seen pictures and Kate had made sure he grew up knowing what a great man his grandfather is, but he'd been too little to create any lingering memories.

"Hey Louis," Jim greeted warmly, his eyes coming alight with the sight of his grandson. Louis took his outstretched hand and shook it before pressing a little closer into Kate's side.

Too much.

Castle read Louis well and stepped forward, shook hands with Jim, and Kate reached out to brush a finger over Alexis' cheek, introducing her to her father. "Dad, this is Alexis. Rick's daughter."

"Hi Mr. Beckett," Alexis said obediently, not a trace of shyness in her voice. "It's very nice to meet you."

"It's very nice to meet you, too, young lady. Katie has told me so much about you."

"All good things, though, right?"

Ah, there it was, that slight tension that had been their constant companion ever since they left New York in the morning.

"There are _only_ good things to tell about you," Kate admonished and Alexis grinned at the adults.

Jim already seemed smitten with the redhead, and it gave Louis a chance to breathe and settle down.

"You kids ready for some hot chocolate by the fire? It's freezing out here."

XXX

Lulu the dog was sitting by their feet, staring up at them with her expressive fawn eyes and Kate had to hide her smirk in her cup.

Castle was actually softening a little, shifting under her penetrant gaze, but Jim was shaking his head. "Once you start sharing your food with them, they'll always be begging." He clucked his tongue to get Lulu's attention, then pointed at her little basket by the fire and she trotted off.

Alexis, who was sitting by the fire with her book in her lap, crawled closer and started stroking her between the shoulders. "She's so cute, Grandpa Jim," she called out, and Kate watched her father smile tenderly at the moniker. Just 'Jim' hadn't sounded right to Alexis, and 'grandpa' was for Louis to use only, so she'd decided to call him 'Grandpa Jim'. It was cute and a great display of Alexis' ability to adapt.

Castle nudged Kate's temple with his chin and his face shone with pride; everything was running smoothly. She reached up to trace his eyebrow with her thumb, curled her fingers around his ear; her way of telling him how pleased she was. With him, with Alexis, with the way Louis was almost back to being his old self, with the whole situation.

The moment was over when Alexis giggled into the dog's fur and Jim cleared his throat and stood up. "How about we get a head start on preparing dinner and then take a walk before the sun sets?"

They had left New York City after sleeping in and having brunch to spend the afternoon and evening at the cabin with Jim. Now that Kate had reconciled with her father, she couldn't wait to give her son his grandfather back. "I'd love that, dad. It's beautiful up here in the winter."

"You a good eater, Louis?" Jim called over to the boy who nodded eagerly. "Very. Especially potatoes."

"Let's make sure to peel you some extra then, huh?"

Louis grinned and Castle put his empty mug aside, pushed himself off the old couch to help in the kitchen. He held a hand out to her, but Kate shook her head. "Just a minute, okay?"

"Let us do the nasty work, very classy," he laughed quietly, but flicked his finger over her nose, gazing at her with so much love in his eyes that she couldn't get up if she wanted to - her knees having turned to jelly.

Actually, all this love around her was turning her knees to jelly. Her father loving on both children, Louis and Alexis learning to share their parents, Castle never giving up on them and always finding a silver lining.

Her life was full and rich.

The bit of hot chocolate she had left was now lukewarm but she sipped it anyway. She needed an excuse to absorb all of this in peace.

XXX

Louis had been looking between her and the dog and Jim for the past five minutes and Kate sighed with relief when he finally came over, a question on lips. "Does the dog know any cool tricks?" he asked, only for her to hear.

"I don't know, Tiger, you have to ask grandpa."

Louis looked over to the kitchen where Jim and Castle were peeling potatoes and talking about the fish they would go with tonight. Discouraged, he looked at Kate again.

"I know it's hard, baby."

"Not a baby anymore," Louis mumbled automatically and Kate smiled at him.

"Well, if you're not a baby anymore, you can ask your grandpa if Lulu knows any tricks."

Outsmarted, Louis stared at his mother. Then he gave a heartfelt sigh.

She watched him gather up the courage; waiting for a pause in Castle's and Jim's conversation, making sure nobody was paying attention to him when he crept closer.

He was pressing his lips together when he finally came to stand next to Jim, and her father had always been so attentive that he put the potato peeler away and gave him his undivided attention.

"Grandpa, does Lulu know any tricks? I mean, does she know how to sit or roll over?" Louis asked, his whole posture screaming insecurity and the urge to run, but her father took it in stride and smiled warmly.

"Well, I haven't had her for that long, and there were other things I had to teach her first, so she doesn't really know all that much yet. But you could teach her something; give it a try."

"Really? I could teach her how to sit?"

"Yeah, sure. It'd actually be of great help if she knew how to do that."

Louis grinned at his grandfather, eyes sparkling and cheeks flushed, and Kate managed to turn her head and direct her focus on Alexis at the last moment. He'd be so angry if he knew she had been listening in.

"Mom! Grandpa said _I _can teach Lulu something."

Upon hearing her name, Lulu got up and started stretching in front of the fire. "Look! She's warming up, she's excited."

The dog looked anything but excited.

"Don't forget to ask grandpa for treats," Kate reminded him, but Jim had already prepared a small bowl of treats and handed it to Louis who took a careful sniff. "It smells fishy. Everyone up here eats fish. We eat fish, the dog eats fish; do coyotes eat fish, too?"

"I don't think coyotes can fish," Alexis added from her spot on the rug on front of the fire. "But bears do. They sit by a river and when they see fish swimming by, they use their paws to get them out."

"That's exactly right, Alexis," Jim praised, ever interested in hunting and wildlife. "Coyotes will eat about anything, and when they find rests of fish somewhere, they'll eat that too."

"Why are we talking about bears and coyotes?" Castle groaned and Kate shook her head at him.

"In the car, daddy told me five times it's okay to be scared of coyotes, and every time I told him I wasn't scared, but that's not the answer he wanted to hear I think," Alexis giggled and Castle narrowed his eyes at her, murmuring, "Sellout."

"Maybe you should teach Lulu to growl," Kate called to Louis while she sidled up to Castle to press a kiss to his cheek. "Teach her how to protect us from the big bad wolf."

"I think your gun is more effective than a dachshund," Castle laughed and slipped an arm around her waist to keep her close.

Louis just shook his head at the adults in the room and knelt down on the rug in front of Lulu.

XXX

"Sit."

The dog tilted her head and started sniffing at Louis' closed fist that contained a treat.

"Sit!" Louis commanded and Lulu started scratching at his fist.

"Sit?" he asked nicely, even smiled, and Kate, who was watching his pitiful attempts, had to hide her laughing mouth in Castle's shoulder.

"Si-it," Louis growled at last, pushing on Lulu's hindquarters. But the dog was stubborn and pushed against his hand, licking at his other fist at the same time.

They were all watching; they weren't even bothering to hide it anymore, and at first it had been quite amusing, but now, Louis was getting frustrated, and the dog was too. Kate looked at her dad, and jerked her head towards Louis to get him to help him.

She took his place at the kitchen counter, cutting mushrooms.

"She's a stubborn little thing, isn't she?" Jim asked and knelt down next to Louis whose hand was glistening with dog slobber.

"Yeah," Louis sighed. "And she keeps scratching at my hand."

"Don't give her a treat when she does that. In fact, don't push her into a sitting position and give her a treat either. Make her work for it. Like this."

Jim opened Louis' fist and took the square treat. He showed it to Lulu and then lifted his hand over the dog's head. Naturally, the dog looked up and started sinking to her haunches.

Kate saw Louis holding his breath, but just about when Lulu's butt was to touch the floor, she got up on two legs and started pawing at Jim's fist.

Jim shook her off and handed the treat back to Louis. "She'll start doing different things to get at the treat, but eventually-and I'll promise you this-she'll sink to her haunches. And that's when you give her the jackpot. Once she's done it right, and you've praised her fulsomely, she'll sit a lot quicker when you hold a treat over her head. Just don't give up."

He patted Louis on the back and got up with popping joints, grimacing. Louis laughed and got back to work. Jim watched him for a few more seconds, pleased when the boy did as he had taught him.

"Need help with the mushrooms?" Jim asked while Kate dabbed off the last mushroom's dirt.

"Almost finished, dad."

Castle was now cutting the potatoes, Alexis was still reading, and with nothing left to do, Jim leaned against the counter. For the first time since they arrived here in the morning, Kate saw her father fully relax.

Everyone was occupied, so she leaned in and breathed a kiss against his cheek. "Thank you, dad - for being so great with Louis. I know today's not easy-"

"I should be thanking you, Katie - for allowing me to be part of this. You have a beautiful family."

They reached for each other at the same time, and Kate basked in the familiar smell of wood and flannel and a hint of cinnamon. "You're part of this family, dad," she whispered, and Jim held her tighter, kissing her cheek over and over again when the words wouldn't come.

"Well done, Louis!" Castle then bellowed and Kate twisted in her father's embrace to see Lulu sitting in her haunches, Louis' face bright with joy.

"You're so smart, Lulu," he squealed and scooped the dog into his lap, feeding her one treat after the other.

"You did it?" Alexis asked, peeking over her book.

"She sat! I'll teach you how to do it. Come on, Alexis!"

Alexis got up on all fours and crawled over to them, her book completely forgotten, and Louis showed her how she had to do it.

Things were still a little rocky, sometimes they were clumsy around each other, but they'd grow to be a tight-knit family given time.

XXX

"Am I handsome, caring and sexy yet?" Castle asked with his eyes twinkling when Kate came back from tucking in the children.

It had gotten late; their walk through the woods had been longer than anticipated, the children had desperately wished for dessert, so Kate and her father had whipped something up while Castle had chased the children around the cabin, the dog always between their feet, and then everyone had been tired and it had been dark already and the roads were a little icy, so they'd decided to stay the night.

Jim was sleeping in Kate's old bed-she had personally made sure he'd changed the sheets since the last time they'd been here-and the children occupied his bed.

That left her and Castle sharing the pull-out couch in the living room with Lulu sleeping by the fire.

Except now, the dog was cradled against Castle's chest like a baby.

"You're not gonna let this go, are you?" Kate groaned and curled further beneath the covers while Castle rocked-_rocked_-the poor dachshund in front of her.

"Am I?" he probed, turning the dog over and pushing her black and moist nose into Kate's face. "Am I now?"

She rolled over, facing the back of the couch, but Castle was relentless and dropped the dog into the little alcove made by her hips and knees. He got in behind her, started trailing his lips along the sensitive base of her neck, and shit, it set her insides aflame. Because yes, he was handsome, he was caring, he was sexy-so sexy-and her love for him was all-consuming and the image of him with a baby carrier strapped to his broad chest did things to her.

But they were light years away from that.

Castle's hand found her hip under the covers and a gasp broke out of her mouth, startling the poor, confused dog.

Castle grabbed Lulu, put her down, and Kate tilted her head to look at him when he left a little more space between them. "You know, I find myself a little handsome, caring and sexy already. And I'm okay with that - with things as they are right now."

He gave her a shy smile, seemed a little uncertain of himself, so she surged up to kiss the insecurity away with the hot press of her mouth.

"I'm okay with you being only a little handsome, caring and sexy, too," she replied, stroking her fingers along the V cut of his shirt. "For right now. But maybe - in the future?"

"Really?" Castle breathed. "You'd do it all over again? Diapers, baby throw up, all of it?"

She rolled fully on her stomach. "Assuming you'd be there to change half of those diapers."

"I'd change all of them," he promised eagerly, but Kate captured his earlobe between her fingers, gave it a little tug to bring him back to reality.

"Nu-uh, Rick. Doesn't work like that. Partners. Equals, remember? You get one half of the diapers, I get the other."

He took a moment, allowed the words to fully sink it, and then, when he looked at her again, his eyes were a rich blue, shimmering brightly with the prospects of their joint future.

* * *

_Twitter: kbymyside_


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39**

It was Monday, she was awake before her alarm went off, and that coupled with the fact that it was her birthday, should make this the worst day of the year. But instead, she smiled into her pillow, listening to the rhythmic breathing of her partner behind her and allowed herself to feel giddy for the first time in years.

She had always dreaded her birthday, kept it very low-key, and only really celebrated for Louis' benefit. But today, she actually wanted to something special.

She finally felt like she had a whole family, and she couldn't remember a time when she had felt so loved.

Hearing a muffled beeping from behind her, she turned her head to find Castle silencing the alarm on his phone which he'd hid beneath his pillow, ensuring it wouldn't wake her.

Never would she have thought a man of his size could be so gentle and elf-like, but had she been sleeping, she wouldn't have noticed him rolling out of bed slowly and quietly searching for a shirt in the dark.

She pondered whether to give him a hint that she wasn't still sleeping like he thought, but this was the first time she awoke in bed on her birthday with the man she loved, and she wanted to savor the feeling, wanted him to herself a little longer before they had to wake the children and make breakfast.

Castle came to a halt when she cleared her throat and whispered, "Kate?"

"Yeah."

"What are you doing awake?" he murmured and stumbled closer, a little less graceful now. "I wanted to bring you breakfast in bed," he whined as he sat down next to her hip, but shut up when she curled her hand around his ear and pulled him down to her so she could press a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"Morning, handsome."

"Morning, beautiful. And happy birthday."

His lips found hers in a kiss so tender it made her heart flutter wildly in her chest.

"I was going to make you pancakes, but now that you're awake, you have a choice. What do you want for breakfast?"

"Nothing you'll find in the kitchen."

If he couldn't see her salacious glance in the dark room, he definitely heard the suggestion in her voice. "What about breakfast?" he asked, his voice an octave deeper than before.

"Lanie will bring me a bearclaw-it's tradition."

"At least let me bring you coffee. Accomplish the first step of many to make your day perfect."

He left for the kitchen and she rolled out of bed, used the bathroom and freshened up a little.

When she re-entered the bedroom, he was already waiting for her in the dim light of the bedside lamp, a steaming latte in his lap. It was a shame her first sip collapsed the foam and ruined the heart he'd poured.

She straddled his lap, her knees not quite touching his hipbones, her special coffee cradled between them, and closed her eyes in pleasure when he started tracing the outline of her body with his hands.

"You happy?"

Her eyelids peeled back slowly. "I've never been happier." It was the truth; her life since she met him-and especially since she made up with her father-had been the definition of perfection. He'd made her life so full that there hadn't been time to dwell over the unsolved case of her mother's murder, and without a doubt, he wouldn't allow her to be sad about her mother's absence for a single second today.

"You glow with it, Kate. You've never been more beautiful to me than these past few weeks."

Knowing her words could never compete with his, she placed the half-full cup of coffee on the bedside table, settled fully in his lap and splayed her hands widely over his cheeks. She caressed his lips with hers and his hands slipped under the oversized t-shirt she was wearing, thumbs drawing circles over her hip bones. But when he began to stroke upwards, fingertips grazing the sensitive sides of her breasts, need and impatience made her tear at his mouth.

She was breathless with it - the kiss, his touches, the heat of his body, but couldn't stop.

An arm banded around her back, another cradled her head, and before she knew what was happening, she was on her back, bouncing on the mattress, nestled within the safety of Castle's strong arms.

He grinned down at her, so proud that he'd caught her off guard for once, and she laughed back; so grateful for this amazing man and his big heart.

XXX

The boys took over so she could take her lunch break in time to pick up the children from school and have a slice of cheese cake at the loft. It was a hurried affair and she had to gobble the cake because there were presents to unwrap.

Alexis gave her a green origami frog. It had blue eyes and a red mouth and it leaped a little when you pushed on its back. A bright green card covered in hearts and a large '28' went with it, saying _Dear Kate, I am very happy that you always spend all of your free time with us. Happy birthday. Love, Alexis_.

The writing was a little crooked, the hearts sometimes very oval-looking, the writing as endearing as only a child could manage, and it was the sweetest card she had ever received.

Kate held the girl close, hugged and squeezed her until Louis pushed his gift in her direction, and Alexis slipped off her lap to reclaim her own chair.

Louis abandoned his cake and came to stand next to Kate's chair, bouncing nervously on his toes.

She had barely touched the square package when Louis pulled it out of her grasp again. "Careful!" he cried and put it down right in front of her with the utmost care.

Uh, okay.

He was watching her like a hawk and she peeled away the paper cautiously, sighing in relief when her gift still looked whole.

It was - interesting. It had four wheels, a square base but a roundish top which was-of course-painted black. There was a cutout in the front part of the top with a clay steering wheel sticking out. A car. It was a car.

"You got me a car?" she asked, smiling at the pride on her son's face.

"It's not just a car," he replied and her plate with her half-eaten cheese cake was pushed out the way. "It's a car that can drive!"

He had caught everyone's interest by now and Alexis was leaning over the table to see better. "We built these in class and the teacher said, if we work fast enough, we can put something in them to make them drive. But if we don't work fast enough, it's just a cardboard car."

Louis was basically vibrating next to her, his pride and joy a palpable thing. "Watch." He shielded the car from them for a moment and neither of them could see what he was doing, but when he leaned back and removed his hands from the car, it shot forward until it smacked into Rick's water glass.

Louis picked the car up, turned it around, placed it on the table again, and this time it rolled about one and a half feet.

"That is pretty impressive," Castle murmured, completely enraptured and he reached for the car to try and figure out how it worked while Kate pulled Louis into her lap.

"Thank you so much, Louis. I absolutely love it."

He beamed up at her and allowed her to kiss him. But only because it was her birthday.

"I wanted to put sirens on top and make it special but my teacher said we didn't have enough time."

"I think it's pretty special already," Kate said and then suddenly Louis twisted in her lap, threw his arms around her neck and whispered, "Love you, mommy."

"I love you, too, my big boy," she whispered back.

The moment didn't last very long and soon Louis pulled back.

Castle and Alexis were still fumbling around with the car and Louis spotted Alexis' frog on the dining table.

"Hey, the frog can drive my car!"

XXX

He threw the empty pizza cartons in the trash while she tucked in both children.

Rick had promised her a fancy birthday dinner once the stress of her birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years was over and Martha had time to watch the children for a night. She didn't exactly need a fancy birthday dinner, but having him to herself for an evening was alluring. For now, they decided to keep their little tradition of birthday pizzas going.

Traditions. Funny that they already had those. After only a year.

When she came back down the stairs, lost in thought, he was already waiting for her.

"Ready for your present?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows and giving her that toothy grin that crinkled the corners of his eyes.

"I told you not to get me anything."

He snorted. "Yeah, right. As if I'd ever pass on the chance of getting you something nice." She rolled her eyes and let herself be dragged into the bedroom by the hand.

"How about you finally tell me how to make my coffee?" Kate mused, a flattened hand stroking boldly over his chest.

"Not happening," Castle grinned, pressing a chaste kiss to her lips and pushing her down on the foot of the bed. "What else would make you keep coming back?"

She rolled her eyes again, shooed him off with a pat to his butt. There were so many reasons to keep coming back, she couldn't possibly list them all.

He was almost as eager as Louis had been this afternoon and he hurried back from the walk-in closet with a large, rectangular box in his arms, sitting down beside her and pressing close when she started unwrapping it.

"Jeez, Castle," she grunted and pushed her elbow into his chest go get him to back off a little. "Why are you so ecxit- Oh. Is it something dirty?"

He let out a surprised laugh. "No." And then his nose was in her hair and his breath hot across her cheek. "But I can still get you a nice little outfit it that's what you want."

A shiver raced up her spine and his voice in her ear and his breath against her skin really shouldn't still have this kind of an effect on her after all these months.

"We could even buy it together," he added and she set the still half-wrapped box aside, twined her arms around his neck and swung a leg over his thighs to swipe her tongue through his mouth.

She didn't want presents, she just wanted him.

"Maybe," she replied breathlessly when Castle abandoned her mouth to feather kisses along the curve of her jaw.

She hadn't stocked _that _drawer of her dresser in quite some time and Castle was known to have good taste; it could be fun.

Just when he'd undone the first two buttons on her blouse and made her buck into him with the sharpness of his stubble against the top of her breast, did he lean back to extricate himself from her.

"Present first," he grinned and she wanted to smack him.

Even on her birthday he had to tease her.

She scowled at him but brought the box between them anyway.

The lid was quickly removed and she had an idea of what might be in the box, but when she crumpled the tissue paper and saw that she had been right, she sucked in an awed breath.

"Rick. Oh."

His hands were curled at her hips, holding her perched atop him, and he bent his head to catch her gaze, assess her mood.

"Oh," she sighed once more and stroked her fingers over the buttery black leather of the shoe. Round toe ankle boot, three inch wedge heel, side zip and a gripping sole.

"How did you know?" she breathed and was confused when he barked out a laugh.

"Kate, you basically made love to these shoes with your eyes when you spotted them in the display window."

Had she-? Yeah, maybe she had stared a few seconds too long. But they were perfect. Especially for work. They stabilized her ankle, had a high-quality sole that ensured the ability to run even on slippery ground, and they looked so comfortable.

She had dreamed about shoes like these ever since she made Detective; the boots she had usually lacked in the comfort department or only lasted a few weeks in her demanding job. But she just wasn't able to spend hundreds of dollars on a pair of shoes.

"You like them?" Castle queried and she sucked in a breath, dragged her gaze up to meet his blue eyes.

"I love them Rick. I really do."

He smiled at her, and she knew he was waiting for the 'but I can't accept them' or the 'but did you see the price?' but it never came.

Instead, she smiled back before finding his lips with her own. She had to trust him to know what he could and couldn't afford, and she had to accept that he liked spending money on her. She would never _like _it, but she had learned to be more comfortable with it.

"Thank you."

"Happy birthday," he whispered back and she set the box aside to kiss him properly.

XXX

"You wanna try them on?" he asked when she returned from the bathroom, teeth brushed and hair a hopelessly tangled and sweaty knot at the base of her neck.

She should shower. They both should, but it would only be a waste of water. She knew they'd find each other for a second round during the night.

"I'm wearing a robe," Kate laughed and Castle's whine followed immediately, although she knew he had put on underwear too while she'd been gone.

"Yeah, why'd you do that?"

"So you'd stop ogling me through the open bathroom door. I do plan on getting a few hours of sleep tonight."

"Sleep is boring," he groused. "Who wants to sleep when there are so many fun things we could do instead?"

Already his fingers were tripping over the belt that kept the two sides of her robe together, but she batted his fingers away and curled on her side next to him.

"Today was pretty amazing."

"Yeah? I'm glad you liked your birthday."

There was no need to say more and she let her mind wander a little. She was tired but just not ready to sleep yet. Something, she didn't know what, kept her awake.

She felt Castle's fingers close around her entwined hands and then he whispered, "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure," she replied and wanted to prop herself up on an elbow to see better, but he tightened his fingers around her hands and she had to stay on her side.

"Why do you keep doing this?" he asked and lifted her hands for her to see. Two of her fingers were twisted around the base of her left ring finger. "You've been doing it all night."

Heat immediately climbed her cheeks and when she tugged on her hands this time, he released them and allowed her to curl her elbows against her ribs and hide parts of her face behind her fingers.

Shit. She had hoped he would never learn what happened today. She had even made Lanie promise to never tell the story.

But no such luck.

"Something - stupid happened today," she muttered and Castle immediately pushed off the mattress, found her shamed eyes with his concerned ones.

She got up as well, cradled his cheek in her hand. "Nothing serious. Just embarrassing stuff."

"I'm listening."

Realizing she wouldn't get around telling the story, she got comfortable with her back against the headboard and the covers tight around her.

"Ryan is going to propose to Jenny."

Castle smiled at that. "About time."

She nodded and ducked her head to continue. "He brought the ring to the precinct, left it on his desk when he and Espo had to pick up a suspect. Lanie had heard the news as well and came over. And you know what she's like. She grabbed the ring box and pulled the ring out, saying, 'you're next, might as well try it on and get used to it.' And yeah..."

She didn't dare look at him. The possibility of this had always been nothing more than that - a possibility. She had never really thought about it, but today, when she'd seen the ring, imagined Jenny's look when Ryan finally got down on one knee - she realized, she wanted it. Really wanted it. And she'd slipped the ring on and allowed herself to indulge that fantasy for a few brief seconds.

"You tried the ring on?" Castle asked, his voice carefully neutral.

"I did," she admitted, flexing her fingers against the phantom weight of the cold steel ring still lingering. "But it uh, got stuck and it took some soap and a lot of pulling to get it off again. I think that's why I keep rubbing my finger - the knuckle is bruised."

Castle cleared his throat and shifted in discomfort.

"Anyway," Kate continued, quick to change the subject. It wasn't something they had ever talked about, and her birthday had been a blast so far, she didn't want the evening to end in awkwardness. "Please pretend to be surprised when Ryan tells you. He's so excited."

"Is this something you would want?"

"You acting surprised when Ryan tells you? Uh, yes," she emphasized, laughing a little and reaching for the lotion she kept on her nightstand.

"Marriage. I mean marriage." Castle was stuttering a little, but his gaze was firm and confident on hers and the bottle of lotion slipped right through her hands. "Because for me," he began, reaching for her arm and taking a deep breath to prepare for an extensive speech, but she cut him off with a confident smile.

"I know." She placed the lotion back where it belonged and held his large hand in hers, fingers tracing his knuckles in abstract patterns as she spoke. "It was never something I really thought about. Never became a possibility until a few months ago." Her cheeks warmed a little at the thought, and he regarded her with tenderness in his eyes. "It's not a must for me, but I'd love for a wedding to be in my future."

"Oh, it's definitely a must now," Castle beamed and she pressed a kiss to his palm, hiding her giddy smile. His hand curved along her cheek, played with the little damp strands that curled crazily, and he leaned in to touch his forehead to hers, daring to be brave. "You know, I already have a ring."

She sucked in a breath, heart galloping in her chest. "You do?" she got out, feeling hot and flushed, her mind spinning.

He nodded and reached behind him, fumbling for his bedside drawer but Kate circled her fingers around his wrist, tugged him back. "Do you think we're ready for this?"

"Are two people ever completely ready go get married?" he asked back, gaze still hopeful.

"But there are four people involved here," she replied, lip between her teeth. There was so much at stake. So many innocent people that could possibly get hurt if things didn't work out.

His fingers started rubbing at her bruised knuckle. "Me asking you does not mean we have to immediately get married. I see engagement as a stage of getting ready for marriage. We can wait as long as we want. It would just make things - more official."

A smile broke across her face and he grinned along with her. "You Neanderthal," she accused him playfully. "Can't wait to show everyone what they can't have."

"Damn right," he confirmed, his lips landing on hers in a smacking kiss. But then he turned serious again. "We have as much time as we want, there is no pressure to get married, but it's a step in a direction I'd like to take. And to be honest, we already have a routine. We spend pretty much every day and night together, we figured out a way to do both our jobs and our children justice, and I don't see how a marriage would change these things. I'm still going to wake the children, make them breakfast and see them to school, and you're still going to pick them up during your lunch break and rush home and make sure they're eating all their vegetables."

She curled her damp hand around his, her heart pounding so wildly she was sure he could hear it. "Go get the ring, babe."

He scrambled off the bed, tugged the drawer in his nightstand open and pulled out the black ring box. He jumped back onto the bed, but the soft mattrass made kneeling hard and him being taller than her when proposing was not happening. They might not be very traditional about many things, but this, this had to be done correctly.

So he got off the bed again, sprinted around the foot of it and reached for her thigh, twisted her around so that her legs dangled off the bed.

She would have shot him a glare for manhandling her like that, but her short robe had tangled around her hips and she tugged it back into place before he could get too distracted by the view.

He got down on one knee, popped the lid open and the sparkle of his eyes outshone the glittering stones. He wet his lips before he spoke. "Katherine Houghton Beckett, will you do me the incredible honor of becoming my wife?"

His gaze was warm, his hands only shaking a little, and a huge smile broke across her face. She leaned forward, cradled his face in her hands and whispered, "Yes, Richard Alexander Castle. Yes." His answering smile was smothered by her lips, fierce and passionate.

"Don't you want to see the ring?" he asked, bemused, when she wouldn't stop kissing him, but she was simply so very happy.

"Show me the ring," she grinned, having already seen that it was not the usual engagement ring.

Castle plucked it out of the box and slid it on her finger with ease. It was a perfect fit. "It's beautiful, Castle. And so...me. Not flashy, not extravagant."

A weight fell off his shoulders and he leaned his forehead on her thigh before he looked at her, a little sheepish. "It had seemed so right at the store and I didn't even think long before buying it and making some adjustments. I doubted my decision a few times in the past weeks, and I'm glad you like it."

She scratched her fingers along the hair at the nape of his neck, just the way he liked it. "It's special because you chose it, and I think I know what the stones mean and the fact that you put so much consideration into the ring makes it - priceless."

This time it was Castle who surged up, his mouth meeting hers in a frenzy, and before long, he had her under him on her back, pushing impatiently at his boxers and meeting his bare skin with her own - sealing their promise of forever with hushed words and gentle touches.

* * *

Thank you for sticking with me so far. Only the epilogue left to follow.

Twitter: kbymyside


	40. Chapter 40

**Epilogue**

His mother was batting at his fingers and removing the fly he had just tied with his painfully thick and trembling fingers.

"There's no need for that, Richard. You didn't give any of us enough time to shop for something befitting the occasion, now you don't get to look so handsome, either."

Martha swatted the fly at him, giving him a look, and he unbuttoned the first button on his white dress shirt. "Mother, you have dozens of dresses."

"But none of them are thermic or have a built-in heater," she complained, dramatic as ever. "An outdoor wedding in October in the mountains - have I taught you nothing?"

"It was spur of the moment," he argued back, though not really caring about her bad mood, and a shy knock on the door saved him from another swat.

He and Kate had been enjoying their engagement, the single ring on her finger enough for now. Until the day three days ago when she'd woken up and it hadn't been.

So they had pulled together this little ceremony at Jim's cabin in a little over forty-eight hours.

"Oh, Louis," Martha chanted and Louis stepped into Jim's bedroom, freshly showered, wearing slacks and an undershirt. "Don't you look lovely."

Martha was already fretting over his wild hair, but Castle pushed her aside. "Just get the clothes, would you, mother?"

Castle took care of Louis' hair himself and then Martha handed the boy a suit. "You know, dear, Richard wore this to my wedding when he was about your age," she told him and Louis reached for the suit with a shy smile.

Castle bit back a comment about the slightly dusty smell of the textiles, and Louis simply looked so proud to be wearing his old suit that he pressed a kiss to his mother's cheek for her thoughtfulness. Without her-a master at pulling things together last minute-none of this would have been possible.

He wasn't sure Louis even had a dress shirt, not after the growth spurt he'd had in the spring, and if it weren't for his mother's grandiose idea, Louis wouldn't have had anything nice to wear to his own mother's wedding.

Louis turned around again and let Castle help with the buttons of the shirt. "Your mom won't believe her luck when she sees you - what a good looking boy."

He smiled, pleased with himself. "Thanks, Rick. You look really good, too. Mom likes it, when your shirt is a little unbuttoned."

"Does she now?" Castle grinned and popped a second button, just for good measure. At nine and a half, Louis was very perceptive. "You doing okay?"

"Yeah," Louis nodded. "But you know, it's really cold out and mom's dress doesn't have long sleeves."

Castle patted the boy on the shoulder. "We'll just make sure to keep the ceremony short then, huh?"

XXX

"I feel like a princess," Alexis grinned and twirled in front of Kate, the skirt of her dress flaring wide.

"You look gorgeous, sweetie," Lanie agreed. "But we really need to start on your hair."

"Are we all wearing our hair the same way?" Alexis asked when Lanie started combing the top and side parts of her hair back, securing it with a light blue barrette that not only matched the embroidered flowers on her white dress, but also the hairstyle of the other women present.

"Just trying to get _some_ kind of theme into this celebration now that we are all wearing different colors." Lanie glared at Kate who was securing one last strand of her own hair with a bobby pin, but she ignored the jab. She knew her friend was happy for her, even though she had been deprived of the honors that came with being the best friend and maid of honor of the bride.

"I like that the wedding will be colorful," Alexis chattered happily, legs swinging. "I'm wearing white and light blue, you are wearing purple, and Kate is wearing ivory. I think it's great. I bet the boys aren't half as creative as we are."

Kate liked it, too.

"You have something to wear over that dress?" Lanie asked, clipping tiny earrings to Alexis' ears. "You're not as crazy as your mama there, are you?"

"Grams brought me a wool jacket. It matches the color of my dress and it's so soft. And I'm not crazy and going into the cold with my back all naked," she giggled, her nose scrunched. She prided herself on telling everyone she just turned eleven, and since it was her second year in the double digits, she was almost grown up, but she was still so much of a child and Kate loved her so much more for taking her time growing up.

Lanie patted her on the back. "You're a smart girl."

Kate rolled her eyes. "Guys, the ceremony will be short, we'll make it."

"None of us are high on love hormones," Lanie shot back. "We don't have a man to keep us warm."

Kate looked at herself in the mirror for a second, taking in her reflection, before she gazed down at her engagement ring. "Did you think I would?" She shook her head, eyes suddenly a little moist. "Never, Lanie. I thought that ship had sailed a long time ago."

Next thing she knew were the strong arms of her best friend around her and the smell of honey and lavender in her nose. "I'm so happy for you, Kate. So happy. You deserve this - more than anyone else I know."

Kate sniffled. "Thank you, Lanie. But I wouldn't be here without you, you know that, right? I owe you so much." Not just for baby sitting Louis and giving her a night off when she needed one, but also for giving her a push in the right direction and welcoming Castle with open arms.

"You don't owe me anything, honey. Seeing you and my godson so happy is all the reward I need."

For her small stature, Lanie was a woman with a lot of strength, and Kate felt the air being squeezed out of her lungs. But she gave back just as good. There was nothing in the world that compared to having a friend like Lanie.

"But let's not ruin our make-up, huh?" Lanie murmured through the clog in her throat and Kate squeezed her once more before letting go, dabbing her finger beneath her friend's eye to capture the moisture there.

"We only have thirty minutes left, time to step into that dress."

"Yes, finally!" Alexis groaned. "The dress is so pretty."

Kate had to agree with the redhead. The dress was of ivory color with some quiet embroidery on the front. It was form-fitting, emphasizing her waist and height and it dipped low in the back, revealing a good amount of skin to keep Castle distracted. The three-quarter sleeves left her wrists bare for some simple jewelry.

"Where'd you find that so fast anyway?" Lanie asked when Kate turned around to let her adjust the dress.

"It's funny - I bought it on a whim a few months ago. I thought it was something I could wear to one of Castle's parties in the winter. It didn't look like a wedding dress to me then, but now I couldn't imagine wearing it anywhere else."

"It would have looked gorgeous on the red carpet as well," Lanie promised and Alexis brought the heels that went with the dress.

Kate slipped them on and took a cautious step, testing the range of motion she had with the tight skirt of the dress.

It was then that her father stumbled inside. Still wearing jeans and a long trench coat, his face red from the cold. "Oh Katie," he breathed when he saw her, but refrained from hugging her. "The path to the lake is cleared of snow, so is the deck, and the minister just arrived. You ready?"

She leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cold cheek. "So ready, dad. Go get changed."

XXX

She was twisting her mother's pearls round and round on her wrist, the blue earrings Martha had given her swinging back and forth with the shivers rattling her body.

The bare expanse of her back was covered in goose bumps and she jerked when her father's broad palm started stroking over it in a gesture of comfort.

"Cold?" he asked, but she shook her head.

"Nerves."

"Don't be silly, Katie. He's waiting for you on the dock."

"I know he is," she smiled, rubbing her hands together to get feeling back into them. "I just really want to be Mrs. Castle. And- and I only want to cry happy tears today," she admitted on a deep sigh. "I don't want to look at the spot where mom is supposed to stand and be reminded of - everything."

Jim took her wrist, stroked along the warm pearls before clasping both her hands in his now warm ones. "She's here, Katie. She's here with you, with all of us, and she'll be saying 'I told you so' when you turn into an icicle out there on the dock."

A faint smile graced her lips and she swallowed heavily a few times. She could do this. She had a man crazy enough about her to indulge in her sudden urge to have an outdoor wedding in winter waiting for her, she could get through this day without being saddened by her mother's lack of physical presence.

Her father reached for her hand, waiting until her spine straightened again, and then he waved to Ryan through the window, signing for him to start the music.

"Ready?"

She nodded and Jim opened the cabin's door. A gust of cold air blew in but she didn't feel it, she just took one step after another on the frozen ground until she could see the black mass that was Castle waiting for her on the dock through the thick fog.

She barely saw the few of their friends that had been able to make it on such short notice shivering on the sidelines, only spared Alexis and her handsome-looking son a quick glance before her gaze was drawn to Castle again.

His outline sharpened with every step she took and his eyes were a magnetic blue that seemed to draw her in.

He held his hand out to her, helped her step onto the dock and avoid the gaps between the planks, his smile a tender thing and full of love and adoration, and all she felt was warmth.

XXX

The furniture in the living area had been pushed aside, the fire was crackling, Alexis had been swung around by about every man in the room, and Martha simply couldn't leave her hands off Louis.

He looked dashing, and once again, Kate was so proud of the boy she raised. He'd been on his best behavior all day and had even helped Jim with the trash and the empty glasses left behind.

She had Castle's suit jacket around her shoulders and snuggled into it as they talked to their friends, received their good wishes, and listened to Lanie complain that 'no man around here knows how to dance'.

Ryan's tries to dance with Jenny were a little clumsy, Espo only "danced" with Alexis, and her father was a little shy, probably lost in the memories of his own wedding. Louis had of course danced with Lanie, but now she had had a few glasses of champagne and really wanted to trip the light fantastic with someone.

She'd never ask, so Kate nudged Castle forward and decided to put her friend out of her misery.

"You'd lend me your man for a dance? On your wedding day?" Lanie asked, eyes wide and Kate shrugged her shoulders. "I got to dance with him first, I get to dance with him last."

Castle looked at her in pleased surprise, smiled, even as he cradled her cheeks in his hands to brush his lips over hers. "You're extraordinary, Mrs. Castle."

She pushed her nose into his cheek and whispered, "Go dance with Lanie, and then tonight, I'll show you how extraordinary we can be together."

He shot her that smile-_that_ smile-that made her weak in the knees and was hers alone and she watched him roll up the sleeves of his shirt, the fire reflecting in the grey of his wedding band.

Louis found her then, looking a little sweaty and breathless, and he leaned into her side with a heaving sigh. "Now Jenny finds me adorable, too. Mom, what do I do?"

She brushed a flop of hair back from his forehead, laughing quietly. "One day you'll like it, I promise."

"No. I'll like it when they find me _handsome_. Adorable is for babies."

"For what it's worth, I think you are very handsome."

Louis turned his head and squinted his eyes at her. "You're my mom. You're compelled to feel that way."

"I am?" she laughed, a little shocked by his way of thinking. "Where'd you get that from?"

"Martha explained it all. How hormones and stuff work."

"I don't need hormones to love you. And you know I did that from the very second I knew of your existence, right?"

Louis smiled at her. "Yeah, mommy."

He went to hug her, but it wasn't enough. Despite his weight she bent down and picked him up. His legs curled around her waist and he pressed against her hard. "I love you, Louis."

"I love you, too, mommy."

She caught Castle's eye over Louis' shoulder, waved him over when he was trying to give her and her son a moment alone.

"I know my wife's a hottie but we've barely been married half a day and already there are guys trying to come on to her?" He narrowed his eyes at Louis who gave a tired chuckle and continued to cling to Kate and Castle pulled him out of her arms to settle him on his own hip.

"Yeah, well, deal with it, Castle. Louis won my heart nine years ago and he just can't seem to let me go."

"The scallywag," Castle grinned, leaning in to kiss her, but Louis grunted. "Gross. Gross, you guys."

Castle put him down on a laugh, then wound his arms around Kate and leaned in for a proper kiss.

She rose to meet him and his tongue was slick and hot against her bottom lip; so familiar yet so new and exciting. The things his new status as her husband did to her - ridiculous.

Espo's wolf whistle broke them apart and Kate grinned over her husband's shoulder to see that her father's ears had turned a little pink and Lanie had clapped a hand over Louis' eyes in a rather dramatic fashion. Alexis was asleep in Martha's lap on the couch, worn out from daddy dancing, but her new mother-in-law raised her almost empty glass to her.

Castle nudged his nose against her temple, his lips brushing over her skin in a barely there kiss. "You ready for that last dance, Mrs. Castle?"

She hummed against his jaw. "And after the dance?"

His fingers crept beneath the the silky fabric of her dress, scratched at her lower back and her hips jerked into his without her permission. "I'd say we kick all these people out and start our future on fluffy blankets in front of a roaring fire."

"Start our future," she breathed and ran her fingers through the fine hair at the nape of his neck, giddy and ecstatic. "I can't wait, Mr. Castle."

**Fin.**

* * *

**Wow, what an amazing welcome to the world of Castle Fanfiction.**

**A heartfelt thank you to everyone who accompanied me on this journey - I know I didn't always make it easy and I am so grateful to everyone who took the time to read this story and let me know how I was doing. It's so very appreciated. Thank you!**


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